


I've Got You Under My Skin

by EndoratheWitch



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Harley Quinn (Comics), Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom
Genre: Arkham Asylum, Bane - freeform, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Meeting, Flamnigo, Harley's Origin Story my version, Hyenas, Joker and Harley have a health personal relationship but still nuts, Smoking, The Joker - Freeform, Violence, bud and lou, cursing, mad love, murderous clowns, penguin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-22 00:56:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 111,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7412119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/pseuds/EndoratheWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dr. Harleen Quinzel mets the Joker and her life changes....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Spite of a Warning Voice

**Author's Note:**

> Just my own personal version of the "Mad Love" story. Joker and Harley are NOT in an abusive relationship in my version of events.

She was nervous. So nervous in fact that she held her notebook close to her chest in a typical defensive action. She knew she was doing it, but she couldn't seem to calm herself down enough to NOT to it. But she was also excited! This was her first day working at Arkham Asylum! As she walked down the dimly lit hall with the other new doctors, her heart and mind soared with all the possibilities that working here would open up for her! 

Harleen had worked her ass off to get here. Putting herself through college, waitressing, other part-time jobs...hell she had even been an exotic dancer for a short time, but finally, here she was: Arkham Asylum, top of her class and ready to become rich and famous! 

Her dream was to write a series of books on her experience working with Gotham's most notorious criminals, giving the reader an inside track into the workings of the criminal mind. She grinned to herself as she was escorted into the asylum, her heels making a crisp clink against the tiled floor. 

* 

After a week of working at the Asylum, Harleen was a little disappointed. It was not at all like what she hoped. Most of her days were spent in very, very boring briefings and classes on what to expect when dealing with the insane, how to ask for help if attacked, the administration of drugs...et cetera...things she had gone over in classes in college! 

The few times she got to work with patients, it was usually her standing in a corner taking notes while a doctor who had been there for a long time dealt with the more “vanilla” patients. She had yet to see any of the famous criminally insane that were housed here. 

She was beginning to think she should have stayed with her regular practice, helping crazy people with their addictions when finally, FINALLY! She was taken into the bowels of Arkham itself after nearly two weeks and feeling like a college freshman again rather than the doctor she was. 

* 

She was so excited! Batman had been busy and there was a full assortment of the “special” patients in the heavily secured ward where the really hard cases were kept. Today, finally, she was going to get to see a few of them. The urge to squeal and jump up and down was hard to resist. 

She was hoping to get to talk to a few, but she wasn't really holding out hope for that as she wasn't down here alone. There were three other new doctors with her. 

They all made their way through the corridors that held many of the more frightening patients. Each of the cells had clear bullet proof enforced glass fronts so the patients could be watched at all times. Each room also contained a bed, toilet and a few personal items. One of the first things she noticed that here where they kept the most “evil” insane patients, the halls were quiet. Unlike the other floors of the asylum where patients screamed, yelled and cried at all hours, this level, where the worst of the worst were kept was chillingly quiet. The only sounds she heard were occasional singing or whispering. 

* 

The doctor leading them, Dr. Strange, stopped and pointed to a few of the rooms. “Here we have Edward Nygma whose obsession is focused around riddles.” Harleen leaned in to see the man sitting on his bunk writing furiously in a notebook. He had glasses perched at the end of his nose and reddish hair in need of a cut; he was also unshaven. He looked up from his notebook at the group of new doctors and laughed. “Oh, lovely a new group of the ignorant come to try and figure out the greatest riddle of all? Us, the patients. Good luck kiddies. You're going to need it in this hellhole.” 

Dr. Strange wrinkled his nose and continued. “Over here were have Johnathan Crane; his psychosis is about fear. He is obsessed with discovering what scares people.” Crane was in a darkened corner. Harleen couldn't really see him, only a shadow that indicated that there was someone in the cell. Harleen shivered as they walked by. 

“Now here, my young doctors, is one of our establishment's most notorious patients, the Joker. I advise that none of you engage him alone at any time.” Dr. Strange quickly started to move on while the line of young doctors peered in at the Joker as if they were examining an animal at the zoo. 

Harleen peered into his cell. He was sitting on his bunk, a straightjacket tight around his torso and arms. He was humming to himself, his green hair a mess, flopped (attractively, she thought oddly) over his forehead. He had what looked to be dried blood at the corner of his mouth, though she saw that his lips were very red and his skin was incredibly pale, almost white. She didn't notice that the group had left without her as she stood there staring at him. He finally turned to look at her. His eyes widened ever so slightly. 

Slowly, easily, despite the jacket, he got to his feet. He wasn't wearing the usual “house slippers” that the patients were assigned, though she could see he had on the bright orange pants of the hospital. Somehow, he made all of it look attractive as he walked over to her and leaned against the glass. He grinned at her and Harleen found her heart beating hard against her chest. 

“Well hello there dearie. And who might you be?” He lifted a green brow at her, the smile never leaving his face. 

“Dr. Harleen Quinzel. I'm one of the new doctors starting here at Arkham,” Harleen spoke softly. God she couldn't take her eyes off his face...he was gorgeous! Those green eyes of his were...hypnotic! 

Joker leaned in closer. “Harleen Quinzel. Mmmm...I like that...makes me think of Harlequin...Harley Quinn.” He giggled leaning his forehead against the glass, his eyes never leaving her face. 

Harleen giggled in response her cheeks turning rosy. Joker ran his tongue along his teeth. “Well, isn't that just the most gorgeous smile I have ever seen.” That was when she heard Dr. Strange's voice, deep and annoyed from down the hall. “Dr. Quinzel, please stay with the group!” 

She looked at Joker blushing and giggling. “I better go.” 

Joker grinned. “Perhaps we can talk sometime...Doctor...” He gave her a lopsided smile, a hopeful gleam in his eyes. 

“I hope so,” she said softly as she blushed brightly and hurried to catch up with the group. 

Harleen giggled, feeling as if she was in high school as she hurried off, though she gave him a little wave over her shoulder as she hurried off. 

Joker had himself pressed hard against the glass wall, trying to catch every glimpse of her he could before she disappeared from sight. 

He heard Riddler start to chuckle across the hall from him. “Oh Jokey, you like her?” 

Joker glared at Riddler. “A little charm goes a long way my friend. Besides, never hurts to have a friend on the inside.” 

Ridder stood up and walked over to his own glass wall. 

“A friend? You think you can charm her?” 

Joker grinned, but said nothing to Nygma. He simply flopped himself down onto his bed and laid back. But in his mind, he was picturing Dr. Quinzel...no...Harley's face. 

* 

The next day Dr. Quinzel was in her office reading through files on some of the more extreme patients, particularly the Joker. She leaned on her desk, chewing on some bubble gum (her secret vice), blowing bubbles and popping them loudly as she read the list of his crimes, conflicting diagnoses, the different and conflicting stories he had told doctors of how he became the Joker, who he was before becoming the Joker. The man was a complete mystery. The only thing that was certain was that he had indeed fallen into a vat of acid-like chemicals that had changed his appearance into what it was now. Whether he had been crazy before that, no one knew for sure, but everyone agreed it was after this incident that the Joker emerged. 

Harleen stared at his picture. He really was a handsome man, she thought to herself as she traced a finger over the photograph of him. She would love to know what made him tick. The crimes he had committed ran the gamut from extreme practical jokes, to downright sadisic. Popping another bubble, she caressed his picture. What a project, she thought with anticipation. 

She stared at his picture for a long time, her blue eyes going out of focus. Then she grinned slowly. If she could get a chance to talk to him one on one...maybe there was a way she could create a type of relationship with him? Build a level of trust that no one else had ever achieved with him! 

She could focus a whole book on him and his psychosis!! 

She giggled to herself. Brilliant...now...just to get the head administrator, Dr. Arkham, to realize he was wasting a valuable asset like her by leaving her to fill prescriptions and to deal with the less interesting patients. 

She booted up her computer and swiftly started to write out her proposal on a regimen for curing the Joker and why she should be allowed to work with him. Her eyes sparkled and her grin widened as she wrote. 

* 

Joker was lying on the floor of his cell. They had finally taken the jacket off so his arms were free. He rolled his eyes. The buffoons. They still hadn't figured out he could leave whenever he felt like it. Just didn't feel like it right now. 

He was hoping to see that Dr. Quinzel again. He grinned to himself. He liked the look of her...the thought of getting his hands into her hair, pulling it out of that perfectly controlled hairdo...getting those glasses off of her, his tongue on her neck, hands working under her skirt. He giggled. Yeah, he wanted to take a bite of that tasty little cupcake. 

He giggled, licking his lips thinking about what she might taste like...if he wanted a chance to find out, he needed to stay put. So he stayed in Arkham.. 

He whistled to himself, The Beatles Helter Skelter, devising plans in his head while he laid on the floor and stared at the ceiling. He had his legs up against the wall, his arms out at his sides while plans within plans formed in his mind. He started pounding out a rhythm with his hands on the floor. If anyone had been listening, they might have realized it was Fleetwood Mac's Tusk... 

It had been weeks since he had first seen Dr. Quinzel, but he was not upset. He figured it was only a matter of time. The head honchos wouldn't be inclined to let a sweet young doctor like her near the dangerous psychos like himself, but he just had this feeling that Quinzel would find a way to come visit with him. He could tell she was resourceful, smart. For a moment the thought of her breasts straining against the blouse she had worn the day he met her, the way she had licked her hips. His drumming faltered for a second, but swiftly resumed. 

He could wait—waiting had never been a problem for him. 

* 

A week later Harleen was standing in front of the head administrator's desk, her folder and notebooks held tight;y against her chest. Dr. Arkham sat quietly looking over her proposal. He had been reading through it for a straight ten minutes without a word or a flinch. 

He reached up and adjusted the stem of his glasses before he looked over the top of the lenses at her. He wasn't a big man at all, skinny really, his hair looked to have been been slept on with no thought to combing it the next morning. He reminded her of what Ichabod Crane might look like, tall and skinny with spectacles perched at the end of his nose as he crossed his legs studying her from his side of the desk. “So you want to conduct a series of interviews with the Joker because you think you have a way to get through to him? A way of building a trust with him?” 

Harleen nodded. “Yes sir. I think up until this point the treatments have been focused too much on drugs and shock therapy, which clearly have done nothing to change his behavior. I think if I can build a relationship with him, then I might be able to get him to open up to me. If that is possible, then we might be able to work through his issues. He needs someone he can trust, sir. I believe that is the route to finding a cure.” 

Dr. Arkham frowned deeper. Harleen's knuckles were white from holding her notebooks so tightly against her chest as she waited for him to make his judgment. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he took a deep breath. “Alright. I will give you two weeks to conduct your interviews with the Joker. If he attacks you or you make no progress by the end of that two weeks, then you will go back to your regular rounds. Agreed?” 

Harleen nearly squealed, only barely just keeping her professionalism. “That sounds fair, doctor. Though would like to be able to change when he attacks me to when I feel threatened? Attacking me is one thing. As a professional dealing with patients with serious issues, a physical attack is very likely. But if I don't feel threatened, then I should be allowed to continue.” Dr. Arkham was quiet, contemplating her suggested change. He tapped his fingers against his lips then nodded. “Alright Dr. Quinzel, you have a deal, my dear.” He put his hand out to her and Harleen took it with a firm shake. “I appreciate your giving me this opportunity.” 

Arkham stood with an indulgent smile. “I have never been one to crush a young doctor's dreams. Besides, progress will never be made in our field if we don't try new things. Your first interview will be tomorrow. Why don't you head on down to security and talk to Cash. He will help get the room and everything else that you need set up.” “Thank you so much sir! I promise you won't regret this!” Harleen walked out swiftly, her red heels clicking smartly, but once she was outside his office, the door closed behind her, she did a silent happy dance with a huge smile on her face. 

* 

Aaron Cash was stationed at his computer going through the cameras that watched the “patients” twenty four hours a day, every day they were within the Arkham Asylum's walls. He was glancing through the cameras before he took up his rounds. Cash was a tough guard. The man had been here for ages and he hated it, but felt it was a job that needed to be done. So he was damn well going to do it. They needed someone to guard these lunatics and hopefully stop them from harming any innocents. Cash felt that what he did was protect the world from evil to the best of his limited ability. 

Of course in his opinion, every one of them should be lobotomized. 

After he completed his sweep of the camera feeds, he began writing down a few observations when he glanced up to see the elevator doors open. He had a view of them from his office so he could see anyone that came down to security. He was surprised to see it was one of the new doctors who stepped out. Her name was Dr. Quinzel, he recalled. 

He grinned. She was a pretty little thing. He was fairly sure she would not last very long here at Arkham; she was too young and too....he shrugged, no point thinking about it. As long as she got out before she got hurt. 

He smiled as she walked over to his station. “Are you Mr. Cash?” she asked with a smile. 

Cash nodded. “And what can I do for you, Dr. Quinzel.” 

She grinned handing him a sheet of paper. Cash looked it over, his amused expression swiftly changing to one of shocked incomprehension. “Dr. Arkham is giving you permission to have therapy sessions with the Joker?” 

She nodded. “Yes he is. He told me to see you about security for those sessions.” Cash frowned rubbing the stubble on his dark chin. “Dr. Quinzel, you really think this is a good idea? I mean, I'm not one to question you doctors and stuff, but...Joker. I mean...he ain't your regular kind of patient.” 

Dr. Quinzel grinned. “I know. I am sure my methods will make a breakthrough! Dr. Arkham has given me two weeks to see if I can make some progress.” 

Cash swallowed. He didn't like this one bit, but orders were orders. “Okay, Dr. Quinzel, you report here tomorrow at 11 a.m. I will have your security detail ready with some of my best men. We have some safe rooms you can use for your sessions. The Joker well be kept in a straight-jacket...” Dr. Quinzel opened her mouth to protest, but Cash put his hand up. “Dr. Quinzel, I'm in charge of security and I know the Joker. You will also have the men present with you in the room.” 

“Oh now, Mr. Cash I really have to put my foot down there. I am not going to be able to establish any kind of trust and rapport with the patient if the guards are hovering about!” Dr. Quinzel frowned, her blue eyes stern. 

Cash sighed glancing back down at the request. It did say she had full authority and he would be in a jacket. “Alright, Dr. Quinzel.” 

“Thank you, Mr. Cash.” She giggled turning on her heels and walked out with what looked like a slight skip in her step. 

* 

The next morning Joker was sitting cross-legged in his cell eating breakfast. He wasn't allowed any utensils so he was eating with his fingers when Dr. Strange stopped in front of his cell. “Well hello, Dr. Strange,” he greeted with a broad smile. “And to what do I owe to the pleasure of this visit?” Joker hopped up putting his hands behind his back and walked over to the glass wall. 

Dr. Strange gave him a sour look. “I am here to inform you that today you will be beginning therapy sessions with Dr. Harleen Quinzel. She has been given permission by Dr. Arkham to conduct these sessions for the next two weeks. Unless you attempt to harm her during that time. Then you will be put into isolation for the duration of your stay with us.” 

Joker grinned brightly. “Dr. Quinzel? Really...how fascinating!” 

Dr. Strange frowned at the way Joker said her name. 

* 

Coming into work that morning Harleen was practically vibrating with excitement! Finally, she was going to be able to start getting information for the books she wanted to write, but alone time to speak with one of the most notorious criminals Gotham—or anywhere for that matter—had ever encountered! She was so thrilled...and...well, excited...he was a very handsome man. That ought not to matter, she knew, but she couldn't help thinking it. 

* 

Dr. Quinzel was escorted by three men armed with shock batons, clubs and guns with her in the middle. They took the elevator down, lower than she had ever been in the asylum. The lights here flickered, as if struggling to keep a source of light this far down into the depths of the earth was difficult—too much darkness and earth pressing down. 

She was then led through a series of dark grey hallways until finally they stopped outside a heavy metal door. 

One of the guards opened the door, holding it open for another guard to enter. Then after a couple of seconds she was allowed to walk inside. Sitting at a table, wearing a straight-jacket with an additional two hard-eyed guards flanking him was the Joker. 

The guards filed out of the room with one of them leaning in the doorway. “Are you sure, Dr. Quinzel?” 

Without taking her eyes off Joker, Harleen nodded. “I'm sure. We'll be just fine.” 

The guard looked between the two of them, then with a grunt he closed the door. 

The smile that Joker gave her made her heart skip a beat. 

“Why, hello Harley. I just knew we would meet again.”


	2. I'd tried so not to give in

She sat down, placing her files in front of her on the desk, pushing up her glasses with her finger. Her eyes rose to meet her patient's, only to find him watching her intently.

He grinned at her. “You really are a beautiful woman. Do you need the glasses or are they for effect?” 

Swallowing, Dr. Quinzel sat up straight to give her patient her best “doctor” look. 

“Joker? I'm here to talk to you about you...not me.” Harleen pushed a lock of her hair back realizing that she had stumbled over her words. Why was he making her so nervous? 

“Ah, Harley, but if we are going to build a bridge of trust, shouldn't you answer my questions too?” Joker grinned, making his eyes wide and fake innocence. 

She tried not to smile at him. “Did you just call me Harley? My name is Harleen, remember? Though you can call me Dr. Quinzel.” 

Joker grinned slowly, his green hair flopping forward over his forehead. The smile that spread across his face made her feel oddly excited. 

“Oh, I know what you're called by others, but to me you're Harley.” 

Dr. Quinzel pressed her lips together trying not to bite them. It was a reflex action, flirty, but she didn't want to flirt with him...did she? Harleen took a breath before resuming. “Okay, Joker. The glasses are just for effect, true. They make me look smarter, so that I am taken seriously as a doctor.” 

Joker tilted his head to the side giving her a curious look. “So you're smart, but the glasses make other people see it, is that the idea?” He grinned. “Like a mask; how interesting.” 

Harleen took the glasses off and set them on the table. “Exactly.” 

He grinned. “I like you better without the glasses. I can see your eyes. Blue...hmmm...I think blue might be one of my new favorite colors.” 

The smile that spread across his face was thoughtful as he gazed at her. 

Harleen found herself flushing. She swallowed, suddenly unsure what to do with her hands, so she opened his file to give herself something to focus on instead of Joker's face...his eyes...that mouth. “So, Joker...no other name?” 

Joker grinned, then shrugged in the straitjacket. “I like it.” 

Harleen nodded. “Did you pick it for yourself?” 

Joker twisted his lips, his eyes rolling to the ceiling in thought. “I don't remember.” 

“Do you remember what your legal name is?” She leaned forward a little and Joker leaned forward toward her as well. 

His eyes are so green, she thought. Her gaze shifted from his eyes to his mouth, which was smiling at her softly. What was wrong with her?! She was a trained doctor. Neither a person's physical appearance nor his natural charisma ought to affect her this way. 

Her eyes swiftly moved back to meet his eyes. 

“I don't remember.” He whispered it like a caress. She could feel his breath against her mouth making her shudder softly. His eyes held hers firmly in a grip she couldn't shake. 

Harleen swallowed and sat back with a great deal of effort. “You don't remember anything about who you were before, because you're the Joker?” 

He shrugged again. “Maybe this is who I've always been? Is Dr. Quinzel who you've always been or is there someone else lurking under that tight skirt doctor?” He chuckled softly, sending a shiver down her spine. 

“Well, we are'nt going to get far if we both simply answer questions with questions, Mr. Joker.” Harleen picked her glasses back up and put them back on. 

Joker giggled. “Would that mean more sessions? I would like that. Besides, do you really want to crack your puzzle so soon?” 

Harlreen smiled. “So, Joker. Why are you in here?” 

Joker chuckled. “Oh, a little of this, a little of that.” 

Harleen sighed. “Is there anything you would like to talk about?” 

Joker leaned forward, his green eyes piercing. “Oh you. I would like to talk about you.” 

She couldn't stop the blasted blush from creeping up her cheeks. “Okay, well, if it will help you relax around me, then what would you like to know...” 

Joker grinned. “Everything.” 

* 

By the end of this first session Harleen realized that Joker knew more about her than she did about him. He had actually asked very insightful questions. He definitely had a talent for getting information. He was a attentive and sympathetic listener. She realized that such a keen mind made him dangerous, but she also realized that Joker could not be too dangerous here in Arkham. Besides, she would get through to him using her trust building and help him on the road to recovery. 

He now knew she had three older brothers, parents that thought she would only ever be a waitress and had to fight to be seen as more than a pretty face all through college, especially when it was learned she had paid for college with a gymnastics scholarship. Joker had seemed most interested in the fact that she was a gymnast, asking questions about her abilities. 

She sighed as she made her way to her tiny office to write up her first report. Not much to say about the Joker, except the man was intelligent, easy to talk to and gorgeous...shouldn't write that last observation. Anyway, she thought, at least the fact that the session was fairly innocuous was good. It would mean no hold up on scheduling her next sessions with him. She tapped her pen against her bottom lip wondering how he had convinced her to bring him a sucker when she visited with him tomorrow. She giggled softly. It was kinda cute and what harm could it cause? 

* 

The next day, Dr. Quinzel's session with the Joker had been scheduled for late that evening. She was only getting that because of the fit she threw with the head of security, stating that her sessions needed to be as consistent as possible if she was going to build the patient's trust. If securty didn't arrange for her guards for her session then they were going to have to take it up with Dr. Arkham! 

There had been a breakout attempt by one Harvey Dent, Two-face. Harleen had tried to find out more, but she was quickly shut down. Being one of the new doctors she didn't have much clout in getting information, but at least she managed to maintain her session with Joker. So she had kept her curiosity to herself. 

As she assembled her files together that evening, she reached over and slipped a strawberry sucker she had brought for Joker into her coat pocket. If security knew, they would never have let her give it to him. She knew it was breaking a rule, but...why not? Not all rules were important, were they? 

The routine was the same, heading down to security, three officers escorting her to a room in the basement where she found Joker waiting for her, still in his straightjacket. 

This time she stopped and looked at one of the guards. “Is the jacket really necessary?” 

One guard, a hard looking blonde woman shrugged. “Just following orders. You'll have to take it up with Dr. Strange.” 

Harleen narrowed her eyes. “Oh, I will.” 

She turned and promptly closed the door in the guards' faces. 

Joker sat there just watching her, grinning. “You have a temper in that cute little skirt don'tcha pumpkin?” 

She found herself blushing again. “Yeah...growing up in a household of brothers and being involved in the world of gymnastics...I don't like being undermined or told what to do.” 

Joker giggled. “Oh, I do like a girl who likes to push the boundaries.” Harleen smiled at him, then she pulled her chair out and with a quick glance back at the door, she produced the strawberry sucker. Joker grinned. “You remembered!” She pressed her lips together to prevent herself from smiling too much, but his genuine pleasure at the candy brought her happy satisfaction. 

She continued to blush as she pulled off the plastic wrapper and leaned over to place it in his mouth for him. When she was close, he slowly stuck his tongue out, using the tip to lick the sucker sensually as his green eyes locked with her blue ones. Harleen's eyes widened, but she didn't pull back; she simply slipped the sucker between his lips. For the briefest of moments, her fingertips brushed his lips, but she quickly pulled back and sat rather hard back on her chair. 

He used his tongue to position the sucker to the side of his cheek and grinned. “Thanks, Harley dear.” 

“You're welcome...” She smiled, fidgeting with her papers. 

She took a deep breath nervously pushing some of her hair back from her face. “So, today I thought we might try discussing what you would like to do if you were released?” 

Joker sucked on his lollipop, shifting a little within the jacket. “What would I like to do....hmmm...is that a trick question?” 

“No...just...well, how about you tell me what you would do for fun?” Harleen folded open her notebook, setting her pen on top before she leaned her elbows on the table. She rested her chin on top of her laced fingers. She studied him as he sucked on the candy seeming to give the idea real thought. “Well, maybe I would go to the circus.” He grinned brightly. 

“Ah...would you go see the clowns?” Harleen picked up her pen and Joker snickered. “What if I told you, my dear, that my father used to beat me...that going to the circus was the only time he ever smiled. That he loved the clowns....what would you say then?” He rolled the sucker with his tongue, his eyebrows raised in an quizzical look. 

“Well, I would say that by maintaining your current aesthetic, you are trying to appeal to the love of a father who never showed you any.” Harleen sat back as Joker giggled. 

“Oh, Harley baby, so textbook! Really? Do you think that story is even real?” He sat back sucking on the candy waggling his eyebrows. 

She frowned. “Well, I guess not, but how do you explain your persona?” 

Joker grinned. “Did you read about my little accident?” 

Dr. Quinzel picked up his file. “You fell into a chemical vat.” 

“Bingo!” He giggled. “You are smart.” 

She narrowed her eyes. “No reason to be snide.” 

He giggled bringing his legs up and resting his bare feet on the edge of the chair leaning his knees against the table. 

“Ooo you really don't like to be criticized do you, Harley baby?” He bit down on the candy making it shatter, sounding like broken glass. 

She took a deep breath. “So you don't feel like talking today?” 

Joker giggled. “Now don't get mad, sweetie. I would like to take you out with me if I was free right now.” 

Harleen glanced up from where she had been gathering her files together. “Me?” 

He spit the stick to the floor and nodded. “Yes. I could show you a good time Harley, get you out of the tight little skirt of yours, shake that hair out...show you what a really good time could be...help you break free...really break those shackles of society.” He ran his tongue under his top teeth smiling. 

“The shackles of society,” she said slowly. “You mean the law?” Harleen leaned closer again. 

Joker giggled. “And we could paint each others nails!” 

* 

That night when Harleen left she thought about surprising Joker. Maybe she could get him a day pass to go out with her. She would have to go to Dr. Strange since he was her supervisor or maybe she should just go over his head straight to Dr. Arkham. Harleen smiled. She would have to see what she would need to do, but a day trip would be a wonderful idea. Take him out, show him what a normal day could be like...The road to healing would be found in normalcy. 

“No, wait, getting ahead of yourself there Harley!” Harleen muttered to herself. “First you need to get him out of the jacket.” She nodded to herself and giggled. Maybe she would bring some polish with her that day? 

* 

She didn't sleep well that night. Her dreams were full of Joker. She woke up rumpled and feeling extremely sexually frustrated. She couldn't remember what the dreams had been about, but he had definitely been a presence in all of them. 

She was running a bit late as she was throwing her stuff together and as she started to step out of her apartment door she stopped. She hurried back in to run to her bedroom and yank open a bedside drawer to rummage around for a couple of bottles of nail polish before dashing back out the door. 

* 

Her first stop that morning was Dr. Strange's office. When she arrived and was about to kock on the door, she heard voices raised. “I don't think letting that amateur work with any of those patients is a good idea, sir! She is...well...she's a woman!” Harleen frowned. That was Strange speaking. 

“Hugo, she graduated with honors. She is intelligent and so far I see no reason to discontinue her sessions with Joker. The two she has had have been calm and she is building a relationship with the patient. Just because you never made any progress with him is no reason to deny another doctor a chance.” 

That was Dr. Arkham. Dr. Quinzel grinned. Ha! She had him on her side! 

Strange snarled. “I still don't think this is a good idea. Letting an amateur at him. Or a woman.” Arkham snorted. “What difference does her being a woman have to do with anything, Hugo? Amateur...seriously...she is just new to this. Really. Look—until something happens, let Dr. Quinzel be. If anything serious happens, then talk to me and I will listen, but until then give her free reign with her patient.” She heard movement. Swiftly, Harleen raced around the corner just as Dr. Arkham walked out. He turned back to the inside of the office. “Don't let me hear you have been causing her trouble Hugo, you hear me?” Then he set off down the hall at a brisk pace. 

Harleen grinned. Perfect. But she would be good, start off small...first: that jacket. 

* 

When she came down for their session, she found Joker sitting up straight at the table, his hands folded in front of him with a huge smile on his face. “Well, Harley—you have been busy.” He laughed and gave her jazz hands. The first thing she noticed was the fact that he had the most elegant hands she had ever seen, long tapered fingers, dexterous...gorgeous. She swallowed. An attraction so intense that it felt like a burn moved through her. 

She took a breath and grinned. “There! This will be much better, don't you think?” 

Joker put his chin in one hand leaning far to the left. “Oh yes, much, much better!” 

“I thought today instead of questions we would do something fun.” She pulled her seat out and sat across the table from him as usual. 

The Joker gave her a quizzical look. “Oh?” 

She fumbled around in her coat pocket and sat down a couple of bottles of nail polish, a buffer and a metal nail file. Briefly she thought of what he could do with a metal nail file but she decided to risk it hoping that she was building enough of a relationship with him that even if he did take it, maybe he wouldn't do anything with it. 

Joker squealed. “Harley!! You little vixen!!!” 

She grinned with pleasure. “So—what color do you want?” 

Joker leaned forward, picking them up and examining them intently before he handed her the purple. “Always my favorite color.” 

Harley took the bottle, setting it aside and picked up the nail file before she held out her hand to him. He placed his hand in hers and something shot through her. They both looked at each other, their eyes meeting. It was clear from the look in his green gaze that he had felt it as well. 

He squeezed her hand firmly, his smile softer. “Well now...” 

She felt the heat not just in her cheeks, but it burned its way down through her torso and to her groin. She swallowed and filed the nails of one hand before working on the other, taking her time. She kept finding her gaze drifting up to his face where he was watching her; not what she was doing, but her. His gaze was steady and made her heart race. Occasionally her eyes would drop to his red, red lips and he would grin, his tongue curled against his upper teeth. 

She was so preoccupied with his face and then painting his nails that she didn't notice when he slipped the file away.


	3. Use your mentality, wake up to reality

It was the next morning before Harleen realized the file was missing. She was pulling out the polish from her jacket pockets having just slipped it on that morning on her way out. She noticed the file was not with the bottles. 

For a moment she started to panic. 

What if he broke out! She was going to lose her job! Would he come find her? (That idea sent a tingle of anticipation through her which he refused to analyze.) But then, taking a few calming breaths, she slowly realized that the asylum had never called...wouldn't they have called her if Joker, her patient now, broke out? There had been no alert of any kind. 

She tapped her fingers thoughtfully against her lips and then smiled. Maybe he had taken the file as a way to test her...to see if she would rat him out. She grinned wider. Clever. A way to test her honesty in dealing with him. Well, she wouldn't say anything. With a smile she pushed her glasses up her nose and set off for the asylum. 

* 

Joker lay on his bunk smiling to himself, one leg bouncing on his bent knee. The nail file was well hidden, but he hadn't taken it with the intention of escape...he wanted to see what his little Harley did when she realized it was gone. But he was confident that she would keep his secret. He chewed his bottom lip in thought, thinking about her. His mind wandered, imagining her with her hair down, her blouse unbuttoned, the very tips of his fingers tracing the curves of her luscious breasts. He giggled. 

“What are you laughing about clown?” 

Joker looked upside down behind him to see the Riddler looking at him. “Just am, Riddles dear.” 

Riddler frowned. “So why are you having private therapy when the rest of us are being forced to go to group sessions?” 

“I can't help the fact that not only am I far more interesting than the rest of you, I'm better looking too.” Joker rolled onto his stomach putting his chin on his fists and grinned, kicking his legs back and forth. Riddler made a face. “Hardly.” 

“So what's the new doc like?” Riddler sat down against the glass wall. Joker smiled slowly, he didn't realize the almost dreamy look that swept over his face as he murmured. 

“Smart as a whip and as beautiful as...” That was when he seemed to catch himself, frowned and muttered, “Well, that isn't funny.” 

Riddle smirked. “You like her!” 

Joker narrowed his eyes at Riddler. “Careful, Ngyma. Be very careful.” 

“You don't scare me, clown,” Riddler muttered back, but Joker only grinned and replied, “I should.” 

Ridder glanced at Joker who only smiled in return. Riddler muttered something and turned away. Joker giggled rolling back around, but his smile faltered for a moment. Did he like her? He wanted her...yes...that he could admit—but more. He smiled, contemplating the idea. Perhaps...well it would have to be love or death...if this was more, then she had to be his or he would have to kill her; that was just the way these things worked. He smirked closing this eyes, imagining Harley naked and his... 

* 

Harleen was ready to kick some ass when she arrived at work this particular day! She had been unable to have any therapy sessions with Joker for the last two days straight and she was fed up! It had been for a variety of minor issues all of them Harleen was convinced were contrived by Dr. Strange. He was determined to try to undermine her authority. 

Finally, after two days, she was able to see Joker again. Nothing had happened in regards to the nail file and she had said nothing about it. But, she had not simply sat on her hands...not only had she fought to see her patient, but she had demanded some changes, better chairs to be brought in, a couch and what she had in mind. She was going to order them lunch and have it brought to them. Let Joker eat like a person instead of a patient. She even had another delightful idea... 

Her session with Joker today was going to involve music. She brought her iPod, but she also managed to secure some speakers to plug the device into so that she could share her music with him. She had done a study on music therapy and thought it might help in their trust building. She was hoping soon he would start to answer her questions, open up to her more. Maybe a nice lunch and some music would relax the atmosphere. 

* 

Joker waited for her in the room with three guards watching his every move. He was walking slowly around the room to annoy them. He could tell they wanted to beat the hell out of him, but he had given them no reason to do so and if he was beaten when the doctor came in, there were be questions. He grinned slowly at the three of them as he paced. 

They knew they couldn't touch him and he knew it. Oh, what a fun little game. The only reason he didn't poke and prod them into a beating was simply because then he wouldn't get to spend time with the good doctor. A beating right now would not serve him at all...he wanted to see her. So he contented himself with only annoying them. 

He was impressed with what his Harley had managed to get done in such a sort time. The chairs were nice, not great or new, but compared to the metal fold-out chairs they had been sitting on, these were downright divine. He walked around the room, his hands folded behind his back, glancing over his shoulder and grinned at his guards while he inspected the walls. Surely she had noticed the file was missing. His Harley was smart as a whip. So clearly she had not reported it. He smiled to himself chewing on his bottom lip as he thought about it. 

That could only mean one thing—they had both reached an understanding, a shared secret, a willingness to trust the other. His grin was slightly crooked. He had never had someone he could...trust...but there was a...feeling about her. The door opened and two more guards came in with Dr. Quinzel behind them. She looked gorgeous in a tight black pencil skirt and red blouse with her white doctor's coat over the top, her blonde locks up in a bun that totally didn't suit her. 

The room was a little crowded, but the guards that were already in the room grabbed Joker and shoved him, face first against the wall holding him there as Dr. Quinzel came in. 

“What are you doing?!” Dr. Quinzel yelled rushing over, dropping the Ipod and speakers she had been carrying onto the table. She pushed the guards off of Joker. “Ma'am the patient must be restrained when you come into the room. We are only following the rules.” One of the guards holding his tonfa against Joker turned to speak to her, but Harleen shoved him off and pulled Joker from the wall. “I will not have you treating my patient like that! How on earth do you expect anyone to get any better if you treat him like an animal!” 

“With all due respect doctor, he is little better than animal.” The guard frowned as he spoke. 

Dr. Quinzel pointed at the door. “All of you—get out right now.” 

Joker grinned and stuck his tongue out at the guards as they filed out looking annoyed at Dr. Quinzel. 

After they were gone she turned to him. “You alright?” 

She reached out and gently touched his face. Joker actually looked surprised when she touched him as did Harleen. She hadn't meant to be so intimate with him, but her immediate concern had overridden her need to keep a professional distance. But now that she had touched his face she continued brushing her thumb against his cheekbone where he had been shoved roughly against the wall. 

“That might bruise,” she murmured. 

Joker frowned. He wasn't accustomed to feeling...not in control. He pulled back slightly from her touch, mostly because he didn't want to pull back and laughed. “It's nothing my dear. I have been beaten bloody before. This is but a tickle.” 

She pressed her lips together. She wanted to ask him about it but decided to wait until he offered. He moved to take the chair at the table. She brushed her skirt off and moved to sit in her usual place. Taking a breath she smiled. “I thought today we might see what kind of music you like and I thought we could order lunch?” 

Joker chuckled. “Music therapy? Really? Are you going to try coloring next?” He hadn't meant to be snide, but her brushing his cheek and the reaction he had felt had thrown him off. He folded his arms across his chest. 

Harleen narrowed her eyes at him. “Fine, then. Do you want to talk about what you took the other day?” 

Joker smiled slowly. “So you did notice.” 

“Of course I noticed.” She frowned, crossing her own arms over her chest. Joker glanced at her arms placement and thought to himself what a pity; her breasts were spectacular. 

“You didn't report it—why not?” Joker lifted a brow at her in question. 

“You...well...” She frowned. “I didn't see a reason to.” 

Joker gave her a crooked grin. “You didn't did you? Interesting.” 

She smiled at him. “So I guess we have an understanding?” 

Joker chuckled. “Us against them?” 

They looked at one another without a word. Harleen smiled and then said, “Yes.” 

* 

They ordered lunch, both of them getting a hamburger and fries. Joker grinned at her. “I like a woman that eats instead of worrying about their weight.” 

Harley shrugged. “I go to the gym.” 

“You'll have to show me some of those moves sometime.” Joker grinned sticking a fry in his mouth while he gazed at her. 

She blushed. She tried not to, but she couldn't help it! She took a sip of her soda to cover her embarrassment. “So music. What kind of music do you like?” 

Joker tapped his fingers against his red lips, his eyes turned to the ceiling. “Do you have any swing music maybe? Something we could dance to?” 

Harleen grinned. “You dance?” 

“I've been known to do a swing or two around the dance floor.” He smiled, lifting his brows at her. 

She placed her iPod in the speaker's setting and plugged it all into the wall. After a bit of looking while Joker watched her, she found a song. Slow, sexy jazz started to play. 

He grinned wider and pushed back his chair, standing and holding his hand out to her. She stood and took his hand, her fingers sliding against his, her blue eyes locking with his green ones. 

He pulled her against him, one of his hands going to the small of her back, the other grasping her hand in his. Harley laid her free hand on his shoulder, their eyes locked. They started to move to the music. They were both surprised that the other knew how to dance. Joker, it turned out, was an excellent dancer. And Harleen's gymnastics background simply added to her poise and easy control. 

Joker grinned at her as he moved her around the tiny room. Harleen smiled into his eyes. 

He pulled back spinning her before pulling her back up, flush against him. 

He laughed then dipped her low, the two of them flowing so naturally together that anyone watching them would have sworn they were a couple, not doctor and patient. He winked at her just before tugging her to her feet, spinning the two of them around until he suddenly pressed her up against the wall, his body firm against hers, his thigh between her legs. 

Harleen went still with a sudden gasp. Joker pressed in closer making it difficult for her to breathe, his leg pressed upward causing her to lose her balance and lean forward into him. She could feel his attraction against her stomach while he peered into her eyes. 

He reached up and stroked the side her face with the back of his fingers. His eyes roamed over her face, his touch gentle, settling on her lips. He ran the pad of his thumb over her lips. For a heartbeat Harleen thought he was going to kiss her. He leaned in close, his nose against hers. She could feel his breath on her lips. His eyes locked with hers, burning into her. “This is a very dangerous game we're playing,” he whispered. 

Harleen felt her blood run hot through her veins, burning in places, arousing her, but then he just as suddenly pulled away from her, sitting down at the table and turned off the music. “I think that's enough music for today,” he said crossing his arms and legs. 

Harleen had to take several moments to collect herself before she walked over and took her seat again. They stared at each other without a word when a knock sounded at the door. Dr. Quinzel scowled turning. “What?!” 

The guard opened the door. “Sorry Dr. Quinzel, but Dr. Strange wants to speak with you right away. He says it's urgent.” 

Dr. Quinzel frowned. “Fine.” 

She stood brushing off her skirt. “Sorry our session had to end so early, Joker.” 

“As am I.” And he did actually look...slightly annoyed. 

“I'll see you tomorrow.” She smiled at him as she gathered her things. 

“I look forward to it.” Joke grinned at her, a genuine smile. She blinked in surprise, returning it, but then the guards were coming in to secure Joker and usher her to Dr. Strange. 

* 

When Dr. Quinzel walked into the Strange's office she was fit to be tied. “Why was my session interrupted?” She stopped in front of his desk, her hands on her hips glaring at Strange who glanced up at her through his thick lenses with a look of complete boredom. “Because one of the guards reported inappropriate touching during today's session.” Harleen narrowed her eyes. “It's called dancing and there was nothing inappropriate going on. And I don't appreciate the guards spying on me for you.” 

Strange sat up straight steepling his fingers as he gazed on her. “Dr. Quinzel. This is a facility devoted to the incarceration and rehabilitation of patients. It is not a singles club where you can seduce patients for your own pleasure.” 

Harleen was nearly vibrating with anger. “How dare you tell me how to conduct my patient's sessions and how DARE you try to say I'm seducing my patient! Dr. Arkham will hear about this!” 

Dr. Strange stood up. “I'd advise you to give up your patient and go back to doing the work you were hired for, but by all means, go over my head. If it's a war you want Dr. Quinzel, then it is a war you shall have.” 

Her blue eyes narrowed dangerously. “You want a fight Dr. Strange, then you are going to get a fight. I am not scared of you and I don't back down.” 

Strange smiled. “Fine, little girl. Now if you please I have work to do.” 

With that clear dismissal, Harleen walked out slamming his door on her way out. 

* 

Joker was thinking of her lips...distracted really remembering the feel of her body against his, soft yet firm. He wanted her and he decided he would have her. He had thought at first he would just play with her like he had so many doctors before her, but there was something very different about her. He wasn't sure exactly what it was, but he knew there was something about her he could bring out...the real her, not the doctor persona she was currently wearing. He grinned. The real Harley Quinn...He closed his eyes again daydreaming about kissing her when he heard Riddler chuckling. That infernal snicker he had when he thought he knew something no one else did. 

Joker sat up, glaring at him. “What is it Nygma? Or are you going to die trying to hold it in?” 

Riddler laughed. “No witty banter tonight my clown friend? I suppose you didn't hear about the trouble your little doctor is getting herself into because of you?” 

Joker frowned. “Because of me?” 

“Seems so. Dr. Strange doesn't want her getting to work one on one with you and so he is making it difficult for her. I heard they basically declared war on one another.” Nygma grinned. 

Joker frowned slightly turning away from Nygma and rubbing his chin, but then he slowly grinned. So his girl was going to fight for him. Interesting and delightful! “Using only two letters, how do you call a girl pretty?” he chuckled to himself. “QT,” Riddler interrupted Joker's thought with an added, “Pedestrian.” 

But just as he had turned away from talking to Riddler, several guards came rushing in. They moved directly to Joker's cell yelling. “Stand back!!” They were armed with tonfas and stun batons and he could see they had a jacket waiting for him. 

“What is the meaning of this?? I have done nothing this time!” Joker looked affronted. 

“Get the fuck away from the wall, Joker or this is going to go hard on you.” One of the guards, Cash, Joker thought his name was, glared daggers at him. Joker sneered. “Oh, like that's a threat!” 

Cash narrowed his eyes and nodded to two of the men. They unlocked the cell door and came rushing in. Joker managed to fight the two of them easily, avoiding the stun batons, but two more swiftly followed. He was hit in the side with one of the batons, then another. Another guard carrying a regular baton struck Joker across the head while another cracked one of his knees out from under him. 

Still, it took five to six guards to get him down and get the jacket on him. Finally, all of them bloody, black and blue with Joker sporting a bloody lip, a blackening eye and burns from the stun batons' electricity, he was dragged off to solitary confinement. 

He was thrown into the padded cell, no one bothering to take off the straight jacket, the door slammed shut leaving him in total darkness. 

Joker started to laugh. It started out as a small giggle, but slowly grew until he was in hysterics.


	4. I'd sacrifice anything come what might for the sake of having you near

It took Harleen several days to get any answers as to Joker's whereabouts. No one would answer any of her questions. She was being treated like a leper by the staff. She decided that perhaps her best stop would be to talk to Riddler since his cell was located directly across from Joker's. 

* 

She found Riddler sitting cross-legged on his cot facing the clear wall as if he was expecting her. He grinned. “Got your clown in trouble, did ya?” 

Harleen narrowed her eyes. “What happened?” 

Riddler laughed. “Seriously doctor? Are you that dense?” 

Dr. Quinzel had the fleeting thought that slugging Riddler in his smug mouth would be...fun...and therapeutic, but instead she snarled, “I gathered he was taken to another part of the asylum. Since I haven't found him, then I would guess a part not open to the regular staff.” 

Riddler placed his finger aside his nose. 

Quinzel huffed narrowing her eyes in annoyance and no small amount of fear. What could they have done to him in the time she hadn't been able to find him? Dr. Strange was refusing to see her...only instructing her to get back to work. She couldn't trust anyone here to point her in the right direction except maybe a mad man. 

Her arms were folded across her chest and she drummed her fingers against her forearms. 

Riddler laughed. “If you break me, I do not stop working, If you touch me I may be snared. If you lose me, nothing will matter. What am I?” 

Harleen sighed. “Trust.” 

Riddler grinned. “Exactly, so do you trust me enough to listen to me when I tell you where your clown is?” 

* 

From the Riddler Harleen learned that not only had Joker been moved to solitary, but that over the couple of weeks that she had been unable to get to him they had been doing electric shock therapy and prescribed him a new regimen of drugs. Basically, as far as Quinzel was concerned, they had been torturing him. She didn't care how many people Joker had murdered, how many crimes he had committed. To her, this was far worse because they had a man under their control they were suppose to be healing, but instead they were simply torturing him. Her misunderstood Joker. 

* 

Dr. Quinzel burst into Cash's office her blue eyes blazing. “Where is he?” 

Cash nearly pulled his weapon on her when she came barreling into his office, but calmed himself down—just barely. 

“Sorry ma'am—under Dr. Strange's orders. He was moved to solitary two weeks ago.” Cash shrugged. He didn't exactly know what was going on, but he had to suppose Dr. 

Strange in this instance. He didn't think a nice young doctor like Dr. Quinzel should be messing with someone like the Joker. The man was beyond dangerous. 

Harleen took a deep breath pinching her nose under her glasses as she collected herself. Then she dropped her hand. “I want to be taken to solitary. Now.” 

Cash stared to refuse, but then changed his mind. He had not been giving orders to NOT let her see the Joker and he really didn't feel like getting in the middle of all of this, so... 

“Alright, this way.” Cash stood up and escorted her out of his office. As they were stepping out he motioned to one of his men. A clear signal that was an order to go find Dr. Strange. 

* 

When Dr. Quinzel arrived at solitary she entered the padded room as soon as Cash had opened the door. It was pitch black in the room; she stuck her hand inside her jacket pocket and pulled out a pen light, shining it around the room. She could hear Joker whispering and giggling to himself. His voice was muttering in a sing-song low and menacing. 

"Oranges and lemons" say the bells of St. Clement's, 

"You owe me five farthings" say the bells of St. Martin's, 

"When will you pay me?" say the bells of Old Bailey, 

"When I grow rich" say the bells of Shoreditch, 

"When will that be?" say the bells of Stepney, 

"I do not know" say the great bells of Bow, 

"Here comes a candle to light you to bed, 

Here comes a chopper to chop off your head, 

Chip chop chip chop - the last man's dead." 

“Joker? It's me—Harley.” She stepped into the room slowly her light aimed low so that she would not be shining it in his eyes when he turned. 

He suddenly went quiet. 

“Harley—Harley is that you?” He giggled in a low whisper. The sound of his giggle went from long and low to hysterical. Her light passed over him and then swung swiftly back. His back was to her. He was facing the corner, his shoulders hunched forward. His hair was sticking out in a variety of directions casting a strange and eerie shadow against the wall. 

He dropped his head backwards, turning slightly to look at her with a maniacal grin on his face. He was beaten and bloody, drops of blood staining the front of the straitjacket and his teeth and there were burns at his temples, angry red against his deathly pale skin. He giggled as the light passed over him. The glimpse of his eyes she caught in the light made her blood run cold. 

* 

Outside Cash sighed. He wasn't really pleased with any of this, but Dr. Quinzel did need to learn a lesson and he wasn't one to go against orders. That was when he heard the crisp walk of Dr. Stange moving along the linoleum floor. “Ah, Mr. Cash. Thank you for informing me of Dr. Quinzel's arrival.” Strange then motioned to the guards with him. 

“Alright close it and lock it. You can send someone down to open it and release her tomorrow.” 

One of the men frowned. “But sir! Dr. Quinzel.” 

Strange turned his piecing black eyes on the man, but then shrugged. “Do you know how to follow orders? Dr. Quinzel seems to be under the false impression that these are men that can be cured. She needs to understand that she is mistaken and to learn her place.” 

The same guard muttered. “But sir—he could kill her!” 

Strange narrowed his eyes. “Then she would have learned a valuable lesson.” 

It was clear all the guards were not happy about any of this, but they also liked the money their jobs brought in. Cash motioned with his head. “Lock the doors.” 

* 

Harleen moved swiftly to Joker. She set her light down, kneeling behind him and started to undo the ties and straps of the jacket. 

“I can't believe that blowhard Strange did this to you! And for what? Because of me? That...that...” She growled forgetting what she wanted to say as she worked to get him loose. 

No sooner had she relaxed the restraints, having shoved the jacket down his shoulders, and Joker's arms dropped down to his sides, than he turned around violently knocking her backwards to the floor. She fell hard, one of her heeled shoes flying off. She hit the padded floor hard, knocking the air from her lungs with a startled gasp. In the next moment he was on top of her, his hands around her neck squeezing, his knees pinning her arms at her sides. His eyes were wild with madness while he held her down, his long elegant fingers encompassing the whole of her fragile neck. 

“Joker! It's me, Harley!” Harleen struggled to speak, his grip was slowly crushing her windpipe. He cocked his head looking at her. The light from the pen had rolled around to highlight his face, casting shadows that made him resemble a demon. He didn't loosen his grip as he leaned down to stare into her eyes. 

“Harley...” His mouth quirked as he said her name and his grip loosened just a fraction. She was about to say something else when his mouth crushed hers. 

“Mmmm!!” She struggled in surprise, but his tongue invaded her mouth, his hands still around her throat, though he wasn't crushing the air from her. She reached up grabbing his shoulders not pushing him away, but digging her fingers into the cloth of his hospital issued top. His grip of her neck disappeared to be replaced by his weight as he laid across her. His hand slid roughly down her breasts, squeezing just before his fingers grabbed the edge of her shirt and tore it away popping the buttons to send them skittering across the padded room. 

Harley gasped in surprise, but she realized that she didn't want to fight him. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her. She knew this was wrong, against her doctor's code, against good sense, but...fuck it! She wanted him! Rules had done nothing up to this point—so to hell with them! 

She groaned with pleasure when his teeth grabbed the flesh of her breast just above the lace of her bra in a bite both painful and pleasurable. He finished pulling her shirt the rest of the way open, tugging up from her skirt, then shoving her bra up over her breasts so that he could attack them both with equal pleasure and pain. He growled with want, tasting her skin in his mouth, biting, marking her as his for anyone to see, but it was also because he needed her. He would never admit verbally to his need, but he needed Harley. 

They had hit the pen light and it had rolled away again, the light facing one of the walls so she was unable to see him in the darkness, but she didn't care—she could feel him. He lavished his tongue over her hard nipples, feeling the heat of her body and hearing the little gasps of pleasure and pain. He reached up grabbing her bra above her breasts and with a show of amazing strength he simply ripped the cloth in two. He chuckled, his tongue tracing her collarbone before he bit her neck, sucking hard against her flesh to mark her. She was his, from this point forward. Harley grinned, her eyes rolling as she dragged her nails hard down his back, groaning. She had never felt more alive than right now. 

* 

When he heard her voice, the madness that had been consuming him suddenly parted. His Harley was here..Joker knew then that he needed her, wanted her...she was his and they had tried to keep them separated. Well some people were going to die when he left, they were going to pay dearly for this! And when he left, he was taking her with him! He ran his tongue along the silky softness of her breasts, reaching up with one hand and throwing her glasses across the room.

His Harley didn't need them. He sucked the nipple of one breast into his mouth, that same hand reaching up in the darkness to yank at her hair, to pull it out of that professional style. Again...his Harley didn't give in to the pressure of fitting into what society wanted. Her hair was soft in his hands. He grabbed a fistful pulling her head back to expose her neck, his tongue gliding up to leave a damp trail to her jaw, then back again. 

Harley moaned, her hands caressing his scalp as she threaded her fingers through his hair. Joker pulled away the things that made her Dr. Quinzel until Harley replaced her. 

She was his Harley. And, he realized, he was her Joker. 

* 

The way his mouth felt against her body had her groaning. Heat flooded every part of her! 

Why had she not given in before, she wondered briefly... 

He yanked at her skirt sitting back to grab the end of it and ripped the material up her thigh, freeing her legs before he reached down in the darkness to tear away her panties. He needed her free of everything. Harley reached out, her hands running down over the fabric of his shirt. She snarled in frustration; she wanted to touch his skin. 

She only let go of him long enough to help him rip away the rest of her clothing until she was naked in the darkness. She found his waist again in the blackness of the room and yanked his pants down while he pulled his shirt over his head throwing it somewhere in the room. 

He dropped forward, falling on her in the next moment. She could feel the ripple of lean muscles under her fingers, his hard pulsing erection against her. Smooth satin against the silk of her stomach. She giggled with delight. 

He licked her jaw and she hummed gently. “Puddin...” 

Joker giggled. “Did you just call me Puddin?” 

Harley snickered, her hands stroking down the length of his back. “I sure did.” 

Joker laughed. “I think I might like that!” 

They were both giggling while they started to wrestle. Joker pinned her arms over her head, the light rolling to face them so they could see each other. She gazed up at him and never in her life had she been happier. She realized, feeling him naked, holding her down, that she would do anything for him, that she was in love and there was nothing he could ask that she wouldn't do. 

Joker grinned. He wasn't going to have to kill her...that was a...relief...she was his, now and forever. He giggled, his Harley. 

Joker crawled down her body, his mouth leaving a trail of hot bites mixed with burning licks of his tongue. She quivered and he snickered at the quaking of her body. 

Her eyes rolled when she felt him down between her legs, his hot breath blowing against her curling hair at the apex of her groin. She couldn't think straight! His long tongue slowly ran the length of her sex causing her to arch her hips. She cried out. Needing more, her fingers knotted in his hair when he released her hands and her legs spread wide. 

She gasped when she felt him laughing against her, the sound vibrating up her core. Her rational brain knew she was giving over to him, that she had been waiting for this, for him from the moment she laid her eyes on him. 

Joker flicked his tongue over her, inside of her and around her, exploring the depths of her. He wanted to taste every bit of his Harley, wanted to enjoy her, but to pleasure her, something he would examine at a later date, but for right now he was going to have fun. 

He dragged the tips of his front teeth against her clitoris grinning when she moaned his name and practically vibrated against him. Joker giggled with pleasure. He had never tasted anything so divine as his Harley. The strange warmth he felt at the sounds she made, the feel of her thigh against his cheek, the texture of her skin under his hands...he would experience again...only with her. He chose not to think too hard on it. Why ruin it? 

He was careful, taking his time, enjoying the feeling of how wet she was, the way she jerked and gasped when he even breathed on her made him grin. 

Joker slid one long finger into her. Her muscles contract around his finger, her hips coming up from the padded floor, her fingers almost turning into claws in his hair. He grinned. Ooo! She was not only really sensitive, but highly responsive. She was going to be so much fun! 

He kissed her clitoris softly, lovingly then moved his finger in and out of her savoring the feeling of her fluids coating his fingers. 

Harley whimpered softly, her hips thrusting gently in time with his fingers movements. She had never felt anything like this before and this was just his finger! He would tenderly crook his finger until she was screaming with pleasure. Then he would giggle. 

* 

Outside one of the guards glanced at the door. “Did you hear that?” 

The other guard glared at him. “Shut up, we didn't hear nothing.” 

“But Shawn, what if he's killing her?” The guard looked ready to grab the door, but his partners grabbed his hand instead. 

“We are under orders—no one touches that door till morning. You wanna keep your job, Joe? Then you shut up and follow orders, got it?” 

The young man nodded numbly. “Yes sir.” 

* 

Harley came with a long, drawn out moan. No one had ever managed to give her an orgasm!! This was her first and it was truly mind blowing. She shuddered, tears rolling down the sides of her face. Joker shifted position to lay against her side, reaching up and stroked his fingers down her face as if even in the darkness he had sensed her tears. 

He dragged the tips of his finger along her cheek, brushing away her tears. He didn't say a word, but he kissed her. “Shhh....” He whispered. 

She surprised him when she suddenly struggled out from under him. He growled in protest, but she pushed on his shoulder trying to force him onto his back. “Harley?” 

She giggled. “Just do it, Puddin.” 

He frowned, but did as she requested only to start giggling with delight at the feel of her teeth, tiny and vicious biting her way over his chest. He hummed happily. “Hmmmm, Harley...” his hands stroking her hair. She bit him particularly hard on his hip bone making him jump at the sudden sharp spike of pain, but he groaned. It felt so good to feel her teeth, to give himself over to the pleasure and pain. Her body was so silky soft against his body, the hardness of her nipples stroking against his stomach while she moved lower. 

He knew what she was about to do and he growled. “Turn around Harley.” 

He couldn't see her expression in the dark room, but she was grinning. She straddled him and turned around. As soon as Joker felt her hips he yanked her up to him, immediately sucking at the part of her he needed. 

Harley gasped. “OH PUDDIN!!!” 

Joker laughed, his thumbs stroking along the curve of her rear while he drank from her. She couldn't even imagine what the man was doing with his tongue, but it felt like he was everywhere! 

Her breathing was unsteady when she grasped him in her hand. His erection felt hot, the heat translated to her lips as she stroked the head of his shaft against her mouth. 

He groaned against her sending a quiver through her core. 

* 

Sucking him into her mouth was intoxicating combined with the moan against her sex, a moan that she caused...pushed her over the edge into a state of pure bliss. She groaned her climax against his flesh in her mouth causing Joker to jerk, his fingers flexing almost painfully against her skin. 

She felt his erection quiver in her mouth causing her to suck harder. She was trapped between wanting to taste him in her mouth, bursting along her tongue, and the need to have him pounding into her. Her whole body ached. 

She was about to say something, she wasn't even sure what, when he was suddenly flipping her around, dropping her onto her back causing her to let out a startled “Humpf!” and straddling her. The man was swift and stronger, far more formidable than appearances would assume. 

She could feel his erection teasing her entrance wet from her saliva, the sharp glide of his teeth on her chin and then suddenly he was thrusting into her. She gasped and groaned with pleasure at the sudden feel of him, the way he filled her, but she barely registered the sensation before he was thrusting hard into her willing body. She heard the deep-throated growl from him when he entered her exciting her more. 

“Joker!” She struggled to hold on to him, her hands finally finding purchase on his shoulders. When she grabbed his shoulders her nails automatically dug into his flesh causing him to hiss with pleasure. 

The only sound in the room were their pants and groans, the hard slap of flesh against flesh. He ground his hips against her, burying himself as deeply as possible listening for the changes in her breathing until she started to pant. 

Joker grinned wide, fucking her hard, figuring out swiftly what made her mewl and groan until he had her dragging her nails down his arms, her whole body arching into his, begging for more. He hissed again, ready to give in to his own pleasure. “Harley. Say you're mine, Harley...say it...” he groaned while he fucked her. 

Harley moaned, grinning in the darkness “Yes, yes!!! Aaaaah!!!” She climaxed with a high-pitched cry. She could feel him swelling inside her, his thrusts harder, deeper. 

She grabbed his rear, wrapping her legs along the back of his thighs. She moved her hands to grab his face pulling his mouth down to hers, just before she kissed him Harley moaned “You're mine, too.” 

Joker started to laugh, a full on belly laugh of pleasure just before he came... 

* 

They laid there quietly in the darkness, his arm wrapped around her from behind keeping her pressed up against him. She could feel the warmth of his breath in her hair, his fingers lazily drawing designs along her breasts where his hand rested. “I need to get you out of here,” she whispered. 

Joker giggled, kissing her ear. “You're coming with me.” 

She turned around in his embrace. “You want me to come with you?” 

He grinned at her. They had moved the pen light so they could see each other. His eyes were still cast in shadow, but he rubbed his nose against hers. “You're mine. Not leaving without you. Besides—Dr. Harleen Quinzel is dead.” He chuckled softly. 

She giggled and snuggled up against him. “I suppose you're right.” 

“I'm always right, pumpkin....” He nuzzled her neck making her giggle again. 

“Puddin!!” Harley squealed wrestling him onto his back. 

She nuzzled his neck sinking down into the embrace of his arms. “So how are we going to get out of here?” 

Joker laughed. “Oh, I have the most delightful plan! It's going to be violent!” 

* 

Joe frowned at the sound of laughing come from the cell behind them. He glanced at his partner who was looking straight ahead. 

Joe decided to do the same.


	5. I've got you deep in the heart of me

They whispered their plans, Joker holding onto her possessively in the darkness, stroking her face and neck as they discussed what they were going to do. When he sensed it was close to time when they would come for her, he kissed her passionately. “Don't forget, my Harley Quinn.” 

Harley smiled in the darkness. “Don't worry puddin,” she assured him. “I won't.” 

Joker held onto her, his tongue taking hers, his teeth scraping against her tongue, claiming her one last time before they were separated. When he finally pulled back, his fingers squeezing her face as he held her. “Don't forget.” 

She giggled. “Never.” 

* 

When the cell was opened up, Dr. Strange was standing in the entrance, his arms folded across his chest. The guards rushed in around him, catching Joker at the same moment he went to rush Strange. 

Dr. Quinzel screamed as the guards beat the hell out of Joker. Joker fought, ripping his nails along the throat of one guard, digging deep, blood spurting across the room and him. Joker started to laugh madly taking several hits to the face from the other guards' batons while the guard whose throat he ripped out dropped to the floor gurgling. 

One hit Joker on the back of the legs, dropping him to his knees, but Joker rolled with the hit when his knees slammed to the floor. He managed to grab one guard by the wrist, twisting and wrenching the arm, causing the man to shriek in pain as Joker broke the bones. 

Strange yelled. “GET THE TASERS! AND MORE GUARDS!” 

Harleen huddled in the corner of the cell in terror. 

Three of them slammed Joker up against the wall as two more tased him, but all he did was laugh. 

“Oh that tickles boys! Are you guys flirting with me?” He snickered. 

They tased him again and finally one of the guards came rushing in with a billy club and hit him hard across the face with a loud crack. Joker stopped struggling and the guards got him down, wrestling him into the straitjacket as another younger doctor came rushing in and plunged a syringe into Joker's neck dropping him completely, though he continued to giggle. 

Another guard went in and brought out a trembling Dr. Quinzel, her clothing in tatters. She was covered in bite marks that were turning into bruises. Dr. Strange narrowed his eyes at her. She was sobbing uncontrollably as he sneered. “Take her to the infirmary.” 

Harley glanced once at Joker as she was led off. He was bloody, restrained with a slightly drugged haze in his green eyes, but he winked at her as she was led off. She gave him a quick grin and winked back. 

* 

Harleen was given three days off work to recover from her “ordeal.” That made her want to punch Strange in the throat. If any of what had happened with Joker had been real, he was treating her with a level of disrespect that would justify anything that was about to happen. Clearly he expected her to simply blame herself and cower. Well, Harley Quinn didn't cower to anyone. Joker had promised her that Strange was going to pay...and pay dearly. She giggled just thinking about it. 

So she put her three days off to good use. 

She spent her first day downloading maps of the asylum. Then she did some research in the city records finding the old sewer maps, maps of the original lay out of Arkham before the new asylum was built over the foundations of the older one. She found information on the alarm system; nothing too helpful, but she knew any information she could slip Joker he would put to good use, as well as information on the computer systems and where the asylum hired their guards. 

Her second night was when she decided to go out, armed with the directions that Joker gave her. Her goal was to find his old hideout, the one he was sure the Batman had never found. Joker had told her that there should be a cache of Joker venom he had hidden there. Some of his most potent ever brewed. 

He had said he was fairly sure that the Batman knew nothing about it. He had warned her to handle it with gloves and a gas-mask. 

“I don't want anything to happen to my little vixen,” he had whispered against her ear. 

* 

Dressed all in black, wearing leggings, a hoodie with her blonde hair bundled up under a beanie, Harley arrived at the entrance to the hideout; it was part of what looked to be an abandoned toy factory. She grinned as she looked up at the faded image of a clown on the sign above. It was clear the place had not been in use in ages judging by the peeling paint and overgrown weeds. 

The large double doors had a padlock on them holding them closed, rust on the lock and chain. Harley glanced around. The street lights that littered the darkness were few and far between, some of them out. If anyone was around, they probably wouldn't see her. She pulled out the hammer she had hidden inside her hoodie and smashed the lock away. It took several good hits, but luckily the things wasn't new, the rust having weakened it. Finally, with one last good swing it broke away. 

Harley went still as she listened to see if anyone or anything had been alerted to her presence, but the area seemed to be clear. She removed the lock and chain and yanked the door upward giving herself just enough room to squeeze through pulling the doors closed behind her. 

Once inside she pulled out her flashlight from her pocket and shined it on the directions she had written down from memory, then aimed the light around the empty warehouse. There were pieces of furniture and broken toys scattered about. She walked around until she finally found it; painted in a corner was a smile just like his, which had her giggling. Perfect. 

It took her an hour of following the smiles until she found the trap door down. There was no latch to make it easy for her to pull up, so she had to look around until she found a piece of re-bar and used it to shove into the small indentation. She put her flashlight between her teeth, then she pulled back with all her might. 

“GRRR!! COME ON!!” She snarled around the flashlight, when suddenly the latch popped open and threw her backwards onto her rear, knocking her flashlight from her teeth and sending it flying into the darkness. 

“Finally!” Harley huffed, standing up and retrieving her flashlight. She dropped to her knees to flash the light down below. She smiled. There was a ladder and she saw the jack-in-the-box right where Joker said it would be, signaling she had found the right place. Now all she had to do was lower herself down and disarm the box. Putting the flashlight back between her teeth, Harley focused on her gymnastics skills to grab the edge of the trap door, then with her upper arm strength she lowered herself into the hole. She dropped easily, landing in a crouch right next to the jack-in-the-box. 

She had landed softly enough that she hadn't disturbed the box at all. She swallowed, setting the flashlight on the floor shining the light toward the box. She took a hold of the jack-in-the-box, careful not to lift it. Instead she slowly turned it around until she saw the tiny button right where he said it would be and she pushed it. The box flew open and a clown that resembled her lover popped up laughing. Harley scooted away swiftly across the dust covered floor until her back hit the wall, but nothing happened. She stared at the box for a few more seconds until she finally let out a breath she had not realized she had been holding. 

She giggled and then giggled some more until she started laughing, holding her sides. Oh god, that was incredible!! 

Standing slowly, still giggling, she moved the flashlight around the room only to discover it was a much larger space than she anticipated. There were pieces of furniture around, an old couch, a desk with diagrams and notes littered everywhere. She found a wide brim purple hat on a coat rack. She smiled picking up and blowing off the dust before she put it on her head. As she shined the flashlight around, she saw pictures from newspaper clippings, other images downloaded from the internet with darts in them or red marks drawn through them, all of them with pictures of the Batman. 

In some places, there were dolls and teddy bears held to the wall with knives each with smiling Joker faces drawn onto them. On a corner table she found a deck of cards in a box. When she lifted the box she could feel they were different than regular cards, heavier. She smiled putting them into her hoodie pocket and continued to search. 

She squealed with delight when she found a huge mallet almost as big as her, painted red and black. She picked it up and swung it around experimentally. It reminded her of those squeaky hammers you could win as a prize at the carnival, except this hammer had enough heft to it to be dangerous. 

She grinned balancing the hammer on her shoulder as she continued to walk around, looking for the place where Joker said the secret door would be. 

Finally after what felt like forever, the light caught a shadow on the wall that she had missed when she had walked by before. She stopped, turning back toward the wall, narrowing her eyes. There, the light caught something again. She ran the tips of her fingers along the edge, feeling the difference between the wall and an indentation. She ran her fingers up and down until she finally felt the latch; it was tiny, no bigger than her fingertip, but she pressed it and the door popped open very so slightly. 

Harley pulled it open. It would only open enough for her to slip in, so she had to put the mallet to the side, then she had to wriggle inside. She grasped her flashlight, shining it around swiftly. No traps that Joker had forgot to mention. She took a deep breath, relieved. 

As she moved into the room she grinned—there they were! 

He said there would be were crates full of grenades, all he had said was they would be full of Joker venom. She also found the shelves where there were canisters of the gas just waiting. 

Perfect, she giggled. 

It took her most of the night to carefully haul almost all of the cans and grenades out of the hideout and load into her car. By the time she was finished, the sun was beginning to crest the horizon. She had enough venom for what her and Joker had planned. Now she just needed to return everything back to her apartment. She hopped into her car, tossing the hat into the passenger seat, the hammer secured in the back along with the supplies of venom, and with a wild grin she drove home. 

* 

When she returned to work, Harley had the plans of the asylum with her as well as the notes she had made on the sewer system and everything else Joker had asked her to bring back with her. Now she only had to get them to him without anyone realizing she was passing him information. She wasn't sure how to even go about it! She knew she couldn't go anywhere near Joker...so what to do? 

* 

Her first day back, Harley spent in her office doing mindless paperwork...no one came to check on her or said a word to her. It was as though her “ordeal” had made its way all through the asylum and cast her as a reject, someone to avoid. 

She was tapping her fingers on her desk trying to think of ways to get Joker the plans without giving themselves away when there was a knock on her door. 

“Come in.” She sighed looking back down at her computer screen. 

The door opened, but no one said a word. She frowned glancing up over the top of her glasses and saw Bob. 

Bob was a very big man, at least six feet five inches and built like a huge brick wall. He was bald with tiny eyes and a turned down mouth. 

Bob had been a resident of Arkham for as long as anyone could remember. According to some of the doctors and other members of the staff, Bob had been here before the current Dr. Arkham took over for his grandfather. No one knew what had happened to Bob, his records were lost, supposedly in a fire years ago. The rumors were that Bob had been a mass murderer, he had killed his family, he had blown up a whole town...the list of speculation went on and on. 

Bob never spoke. He wore an asylum issue jumpsuit and pushed around a cart where he gave the inmates books, or he helped deliver lunch to those not allowed in the common area or he helped by picking up papers for the shredder. 

Harley stared at him and then grinned. “Bob. Are you friends with Joker?” 

Bob stared at her. For a moment Harley wasn't sure he had understood her, but then Bob grinned and nodded. 

Harley giggled. “Bob. I have a very important job for you. Very important. I need you to take messages to Joker for me. Can you do that?” 

Bob smiled and nodded. 

“Good, Bob! Very good.” Harley grinned brightly. 

* 

Joker sat in his cell, bored and missing his Harley, but when he closed his eyes he could see her naked, biting him, the sweet little sounds she made as he tasted her skin, felt her wet and soft, yielding under him. 

He was smiling to himself when he heard the sound of the panel opening for lunch. He opened one eye and saw Bob. Joker, with an amazing amount of grace, flowed to his feet and walked over. 

“Ah, Bob, what is on the menu today my friend?” 

Bob just looked at him and then down at the tray he slipped inside. Joker tilted his head just slightly; something was off about Bob. He then looked down at the tray. Joker frowned slightly, he could see something under the plate. 

He glanced back up at Bob who nodded his head with enthusiasm, not the usual behavior of the big fella. 

Joker grinned. “Thank you, Bob.” 

The pale man took his tray of food, walked over to his bunk, careful to show nothing in his body language as he sat down cross-legged on the bunk, setting the tray carefully down, balancing it on his legs. He glanced once at the camera that watched his cell. The fools. He snickered quietly and with the skill of any magician or other practiced sleight of hand performer, Joker had the papers moved and concealed under his pillow. 

* 

That night when lights were turned out, Joker shifted around until he had managed to angle himself and the papers in such a way that he could have a single slice of light across the papers. He looked quickly through them, grinning. His Harley had come through! She had included plans for Arkham, information on the sewer system, the alarm system, information on the guards who were most likely to be bribable...it also included a pad and pencil slipped onto his tray. 

Joker grinned brightly. Yes! A way for him to communicate back to his Harley. 

He giggled happily, but it was the last note on a napkin that made him stop and pick it up carefully. It was a note from Harley. 

“I found everything as you said I would! I got what I could, but I think it will be enough. I love you, Mr. J. Love Harley.” Then there was a kiss on it in black lipstick. Joker stared at it, then softly giggled folding the napkin and slid it into his shirt pressing his hand against it keeping it close to his heart. 

* 

That morning as Joker laid curled on his side, holding the note from her up to his lips and nose where he could smell her, imagine her against him when he heard Dr. Strange striding down the aisle. He knew it was Strange by the amount of cursing coming from the other inmates. 

Strange stopped in front of Joker's cell, his hands behind his back waiting for Joker to acknowledge him. 

Joker glanced up swiftly, deftly hiding Harley's love token. “Oh, the Strange Dr. Strange. Whatever do you want with little old me?” He rolled himself to a sitting position, a wide grin on his face. 

Strange narrowed his eyes. “You are no longer under Dr. Quinzel's care Joker, you are now my patient thanks to Dr. Arkham, and today we are going to start some new therapy.” 

Joker gave Strange a mock frown as he rested his chin in his hand. “You know the shock therapy is getting a bit dull.” 

Strange smiled. “Oh, I have decided to experiment with a whole new...or rather whole old list of ideas for your treatment. First we are going to start with ice bath treatment, then perhaps some new medicines? Then to some treatments that are a bit harsher than you are used to...” 

Strange nodded and the orderlies rushed in slamming Joker up against the wall when he started to resist. Strange walked in swiftly and injected something into Joker's neck, which caused him to seize before collapsing into unconsciousness. 

Riddler was watching all this from the corner of his cell, his eyes wide in fear. Granted, he knew Strange was torturing Joker as a means to exert his “power” over the other doctors and inmates, but he had to wonder...hold long before the rest of them became his captive participants? 

* 

Joker came to as the sudden inability to breathe hit him, water rushing into his lungs. He held his breath trying not to choke on the freezing water that had entered his lungs as four orderlies held him down in the tub. After a minute, when he was sure his burning lungs were going to force him to breathe, they released their grip and he broke the surface gasping for air. “Again,” came Strange's dead, deep voice and Joker was plunged into the water again. He managed to keep himself calm this time with thoughts of ripping a smile into Strange's face, or perhaps skinning him alive. Either way, these happy thoughts kept Joker from drowning or freezing. 

When he was brought up for the fifth time, Strange snarled. “Take him to the room, let's try out our new drug tests.” 

* 

The next day at work there was a knock at her door and one of the other doctors came in, another young doctor, Dr. Jezebel Jet. She had long red hair and anxious brown eyes. “Hey, Dr. Quinzel? Dr. Strange asked me to fetch you for rounds.” 

Harley looked up clearly confused. “Rounds?” 

“Yes, he ah, he wants you to help in giving out drugs today.” Jet smiled looking a bit unsure. 

Harley narrowed her eyes. Something was up, Strange was either trying to make a point or he was going to use her in some way. Fine, she would play along. 

* 

She met him down at the medical wings where she could hear the screams of some of the inmates that had been brought in for a variety of treatments. As she walked, she fingered the canister of Joker venom in her coat pocket. She had started to carry it her second day back. For some reason it made her feel closer to Joker. She was escorted to the rear of the medical area, a door was opened and she was escorted into what looked to have been an old surgical theater. She was in the observation deck that looked down into the operating room. There were several young doctors here already, many from her group that started here at Arkham when she did. 

Lying on the table below was Joker, strapped down to the table with an IV sticking out of his arm and an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. 

When Strange saw her, he grinned. 

“Now, new doctors of the mind. I am going to demonstrate today a procedure that is no longer utilized unless no choice is given. It is usually reserved for patients who suffer from seizures. We are going to perform a lobotomy.” 

Harley's eyes widened, her whole body suddenly like ice, frozen ...what? He was going to lobotomize him. 

She turned to rush down there only to find a guard waiting. 

Harley's eyes narrowed as she did what any girl would do for her guy; she pulled out her can of Joker venom and sprayed the guard in the face.


	6. So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me

She moved swiftly, holding one hand over her mouth against the venom and rammed her shoulder into one of the guards as they started to laugh uncontrollably, grabbing one of their batons as she did moved. The other doctors in the viewing room began to yell, mostly incoherent shouts, but a few were calling her name or crying for help. 

Harley turned and sprayed the can of venom like it was air freshener before she slammed the door closed. She swung around, jammed the baton into the door's pull handle, slamming it hard against the frame to prevent of the door from being opened, using her elbow to push it hard down to jam the door closed. 

She wasn't sure how much venom was in one of these cans or how many people had been in the surgery theater, but she was going to have to hope it was enough. 

* 

She rushed down to the surgery theater trying not to panic. She knew she had to get down there as fast as she could, grateful that no one had sounded the alarm yet. She took the stairs two or three at a time until she dropped down in front of the door. She flung open the surgery door, spraying the venom as soon as she opend the door. The first person she hit was one of the nurses who instantly started laughing. That was when chaos erupted. 

Dr. Strange recognized danger immediately and yelled. “SOMEONE STOP HER!” 

Harley sprayed a guard in the face and managed to get one of the doctors. 

She moved through the room as swiftly as she could, spraying another doctor in the face and grabbing a scalpel. She spun around with it slicing along the arm of a nurse who tried to grab her. The woman screamed, dropping back in shock and pain as blood splattered the floor. 

Harley held the scalpel and can up as she hurried over to Joker. 

Her eyes ran over him quickly. He hadn't been cut into yet, though there was a mark at the corner of his eye showing where they planned to start. She actually growled when she saw it. She did a quick glance down his body and hissed. Damn it! He was restrained, tied to the bed with Velcro straps which would take time to get him out of and he was still under sedation wearing a simple hospital gown and nothing else. 

She had to decide quickly how to get him out of there. He wasn't going to wake up any time soon. 

She reached over and yanked the mask off of him, and tore out his IVs. 

Harley swiftly turned to spray another doctor who had tried to sneak up behind her; she was so close that the Joker venom left a film of green on the doctor's face as she fell backwards laughing hysterically. 

Strange had shoved himself into a corner of the room, simply watching with narrowed eyes the events transpiring and making no move to stop her, though he yelled for the guards. 

Harley grabbed the head of Joker's bed and shoved the gurney toward the surgery doors. 

She drove the gurney out of the surgery theater, feeling panic taking hold; which way should she go? She suddenly couldn't remember how to get out of there. The damn asylum was a series of halls, gates and doors, all of which were going to be difficult to get out of...She sucked air in through her teeth in frustration. She needed a weapon...and to get to her car...she had a handful of the Joker bombs out there that she had been carrying around with her. She had been keeping them with her, like the spray...but also just in case...she didn't know for what, but it seemed that her instincts had been correct...Damn it, if only she had put them in her office! 

She took the right corridor, running around the corner and hit a set of double doors that had been locked or blocked. 

That was when the alarms started going off. The halls were filled with the ringing shrieks of sirens telling everyone that someone had escaped. 

Harley cursed and turned the bed around to head down another corridor. In moments, she saw an elevator! Yes! That would get them up to the main level! 

She was just about to hit the button on the elevator when three guards stepped around a corner at the end of the hall. 

She hissed and cursed turning around only to find another four there. 

“Step away from the patient, Dr. Quinzel and drop the can.” One of the men, shit...it was Cash! Harley narrowed her eyes. 

“What if I don't want to?” She looked between the guards. 

“Then ma'am, I will shoot you.” Cash's eyes were cold. She was going to have to take a chance... 

She turned on Cash, moving so swiftly that the guards were not ready for her. Despite wearing heels, Harley's gymnastics training did her well as she rushed Cash and, with the can in one hand, the scalpel still in the other, she slashed the wrist of his right hand and sprayed the guard next to him in the face. The other two shouted as one of them shot his weapon, Harley dropping into a sliding split, the bullet only grazing her. The round left a burning red trail through her white jacket exposing a bloody and painful mark in her flesh. 

Harley slashed with her scalpel, slicing deeply across the guard's knees. That man cried out dropping sideways which left Cash and his other partner. 

* 

The three guards at the other end of the hall shouted, all of them moving to help restrain her, but one of the men didn't make it as a hand shot out, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and yanking him down across the patient. That was when the Joker sat up; somehow he had gotten himself free of his restraints. He grinned that wide menacing grin of his at the guard. “Don't shoot at my girl.” 

The guard tried to turn his weapon on Joker, but the green haired man moved swiftly, rolling himself with the guard's arm in the next motion and taking the limb with him, twisting it so hard and yanking it behind the guard's back that it popped right out of its socket. The man let out a strangled cry of pain that Joker swiftly cut off his as his free hand came around, his long nimble fingers digging into the man's throat crushing his adam's apple and then with a vicious yank, Joker tore out his throat, blood spurting out in an arc of bright crimson. 

The guard dropped in a gurgling mess as Joker retrieve the dying man's rifle from the floor with a grin. “Thank you!” 

The two guards coming at Harley didn't even register the quick and bloody death of their partner when suddenly they were both sent flying forward, bullets riddling their backs. 

The only guard completely unhurt had managed to get a hold of Harley, his fingers in her hair. He yanked her back from Cash turning at the sound of gunfire and saw the Joker standing there at the end of the hall, grinning widely, his hospital gown and hands drenched in blood as he held the weapon up. 

The guard held his own weapon at Harley's throat, his eyes meeting Joker's across the now blood-stained hall. Cash had dropped to his knees holding his bleeding wrist to his chest looking between the two. He snarled at his man. “Kill her!” 

Joker grinned. “Oh...let's see, what game are we playing? You kill her, I will definitely kill you both, but if you let her go I might not kill you...or I might....” 

Harley stared at him and then she broke out into a laugh. Joker joined her, giving her a wink. Cash snarled. “Kill her!” 

The man holding her stared at Cash like he was the insane one. He shoved Harley at Joker. “Here! Take her!” 

She stumbled to Joker who grabbed her pulling her against him. “That was a really good decision and you made it all on your own! I'm so proud of you!” Then he shot the young man right between the eyes. He turned this weapon on Cash and grinned. “Now you. You, I'm going to leave alive. So you get to know the only reason you're still alive my sweet, sweet friend is because I allowed it.” Joker giggled. Cash started to curse, and then the elevator dinged. 

Cash snarled, but Joker backed into the elevator with his arm around Harley. 

As soon as the elevator doors closed, Harley hit the button for the main floor. Joker grinned at her. She started to open her mouth. “What should w.....” 

He dropped the weapon and with bloody hands he grabbed her face, kissing her, cutting her words off. She stumbled backwards as he pressed her up against the elevator wall dropping his hands to wrap them around her waist his tongue invading her mouth. She had her hands up in surprise at first. 

She groaned, melting against him and the wall before throwing her arms around his neck, hooking her legs around his waist. Joker grabbed her legs hefting her up, to pin her more securely against the wall nearly devouring her lips and tongue. He shoved her skirt up pass her hips pressing in hard against her. She could feel how turned on he was, his erection pressing up against her demanding. Joker hissed with need, his grip on her almost painful. 

She groaned, the feel of him, hot and needy against her had her wet with want despite or because of their circumstances. 

Especially since he was wearing nothing under the hospital grown. He snarled, pulling the gown up and away before he reached down between them to almost savagely pull her panties to the side. With no warning, he thrust into her, hard and deep. All she could do was gasp. Harley shuddered when he entered her. He felt so good! So hard and hot, burning through her. 

They fucked hard and fast, Joker holding her pressed tightly against the wall. He sucked at her throat, his fingers digging into her thighs his hips moving fast, furious. The elevator was filled with the sounds of their groans, grunts and the smack of flesh. Harley kept her arms around his neck, her hands threading through his hair, holding his green locks in her fists. 

She groaned loudly. “Yes, yes!” She heard him growl against her neck which caused Harley to climax. “Oooh!! Mistah J!!! Ah!!” He giggled nipping his way up her neck and along her jaw, settling at her mouth where he hissed. “Open your eyes, Harley.” 

She did, gasping as she stared into his deep green eyes. His thrusts became harder, deeper. She could feel him the way his body trembled as he got closer, his breathing becoming rapid...then he groaned, releasing into her. “My Harley...” 

Watching his expression had her whole being on fire causing her to peak and cry out again, coming with him at the same time. He thrust a few more times, slower, but deeper somehow. She was so sensitive that everything was making her gasp and groan. “Oh Puddin...” her voice dropped to almost a whisper. 

He pressed her hard against the elevator wall before laying his forehead against hers. “My beautiful Harley...so beautiful...” He groaned against her mouth. 

He smiled taking another deep breath before he continued. 

“Not really according to the plan I was working on, but this is a lot of fun.” He giggled. 

She bit her bottom lip, running her hands down his face, tears springing to her eyes. 

“Are you alright?” 

He smiled giving her a peck on her nose. “Never better, pooh.” 

She sighed happily as he stroked his fingers through the blood he had left on her face brushing his nose against hers. 

“So what should we do? I only have the one can of venom, I lost my scalpel back there in the hall and we only have the one gun.” Harley frowned, but Joker traced her bottom lip with his thumb. “Don't worry, my pretty little thing. There are many ways to get out of Arkham, not all of them through the front door.” With that he giggled and hit the emergency stop on the elevator. He let her drop back to her feet slowly, careful pulling out of her. He tenderly kissed her whispering. “Sorry about the mess, dear.” 

But then he stepped back and looked upward. “I'm going to give you a boost and I want you to open that hatch up there.” He turned to look at her and Harley nodded. She pulled a couple of tissues out to clean herself off, tossed a couple to Joker before she slipped off her doctor coat, handing it to Joker, who slipped it on with a huge grin. 

“Okay, let's do this!” She took a deep breath. 

She kicked off her heels as Joker cupped his hands. She stepped onto them and he lifted her easily. She balanced and pushed the hatch up and slid it to the side. He gave her a push upward, giving her enough lift to grab the sides and pull herself up and out of the elevator. She leaned down and Joker leapt up grabbing her hand as she struggled to pull him up. He grabbed the side and was able to get up fairly easily. 

He giggled. “This gown is a bit drafty.” 

Harley snickered. “Yeah, but you look really hot in it puddin. The jacket really accentuates it.” 

Joker grinned at her. “Ma'am, are you spying on my derriere?” 

She gave him an exaggerated wink that had his laughter echoing up the elevator shaft. 

* 

Strange ran out of the surgery theater; Harleen and the Joker nowhere in sight. Several armed guards ran by, the sound of the alarm echoing throughout the corridors of Arkham. He grabbed one young man that started to run by. “I need an update!” Strange growled. 

The man frowned, yanking off the gas mask he had on. “There were gunshots about sixty seconds ago sir. The cameras picked up a fight in corridor eight E, but then everything went quiet sir.” 

Strange frowned. “Find them—I want them both alive.” 

The man nodded and as he took off he pulled his walkie talkie over. “Dr. Strange wants them alive! Repeat: capture the Joker and Dr. Quinzel alive.” 

* 

Joker stood on the top of the elevator looking up at the cable. “Hmm...we need to climb up to the next floor. What floor are we on?” He glanced back at Harley. “Uh...I think we made it to the fifth floor, but I'm not really sure.” 

Joker nodded. “Alright my, cutie pie. We don't have far to climb. I'm going to push you up and grab that edge over there.” He pointed and Harley cringed, but nodded. “I think I can make that.” 

Joker smiled. “That's my girl. But don't you worry your little head any. I will be right behind you to help you and make sure you don't fall.” 

She leaned into him and he kissed her gently before scooting her to the cables. She took a hold and pulled. Luckily she had decent upper body strength and could pull herself up. She grasped the cable with her knees, tearing her skirt in the process and started to slowly climb. She hissed in pain, the metal cord rubbing against the skin of her palms and thighs, but she started to make progress. She slipped once, not too badly, but she suddenly felt Joker's hand on her rear. “You can do it pumpkin!” She glanced down with a smile; he was climbing up right behind her. 

She reached up, pulling herself further, her arms starting to shake when she saw the ledge she needed. Her fingers were burning as she reached out. There was just enough of a ledge for her to stand on. For a split second she didn't think she was going to make it, her hand moving up the closed doors grabbing at the tiny space between the door and leaping the rest of the way. She let out a squeak of fear pressing herself flat to the door. 

“Okay sweetie; scoot over, here I come!” She heard Joker behind her laugh. As quickly as she could she scooted over just as Joker slammed into the closed doors. 

He let out a startled gasp as he started to fall backwards, but Harley grabbed the front of the hospital gown and yanked him back. 

He hit the doors again, but this time he grabbed onto the frame and held on. 

He started to giggle. “Oh, well that was close. Might have ended up a splat.” 

Harley giggled, tears in the corners of her eyes. “That would not have been funny.” 

Joker grinned at her. “Not at all. Okay, grab the side of the door and pull. I'll pull on this one, maybe we can get it open.” 

With only a little effort, they had the door open and both of them fell inward. Joker swiftly yanked Harley toward him wrapping his arms around her. “Oooo, that was fun!” 

She held on tightly to him choking on a sob and a laugh. 

She was trembling and Joker held her closer. “Come on pumpkin. Let's go.” 

He kissed her forehead just before he got up taking her hand and pulling her to her feet. He looked around and then pointed. “There!” 

It was a large vent just big enough for someone to crawl through. 

“Come on sweet cheeks. Let's go!” Joker dashed over to the vent. 

He studied it for a moment then he fired the gun at the screws, ripping the corners from the vent cover. Harley let out a startled yelp covering her ears as he blasted the thing loose, then he dropped down and started to pull at it trying to pry it off the off. He glanced over at Harley motioning with his head. “Come on Harl, help me out!” 

She took the other side of the vent and they both hauled back, falling backwards as the vent was suddenly ripped from the wall. 

“Oww!” Harley yelped cutting her finger on the twisted metal, but they got it open. 

Joker grabbed her hand kissing her bleeding fingers. “You alright honey?” 

She nodded. “Yeah puddin..” 

He grinned at her kissing her fingers one more time before turning and crawling into the vent. 

“Come on Pooh! Let's go!”


	7. Don't you know little fool

They moved swiftly down the hall. They were on the fourth floor, or at least that was what Harley thought. She wasn't really sure at this point. They rushed around the corner and stopped short when a set of double doors swung open and four guards came running through. 

Joker laughed. “Oops!!” He turned swiftly and grabbed her hand as he ran by her. Harley was nearly pulled off her feet as he flew down the hall taking several turns down corridors until she was completely lost. It was like the place had suddenly become a maze. 

Harley had never given it much thought until this moment; working here, she had only stuck to the places where her work took her so that now that she was trying to escape the asylum, she realized just how complicated Arkham's layout really was... 

Joker kept an almost painful hold on her hand. He dragged her along with him, taking several turns until he stopped for a heartbeat, his eyes darting around and then he grinned. He pulled open a door down one hall that led to a stairwell. He raced up the stairs, the sounds of guards above them and below them charging towards them filled the stairwell with the echoing sounds of an army. Joker started to laugh and leaned over the railing firing his weapon, ducking back when they returned fire. 

He chortled and fired at the guards above them, the body of one going over the rail. Joker jumped back, the body just missing him. He giggled. “Oh, that was close! Come on, baby!!” The next set of doors they found they burst through, leaving the stairwell. 

Joker and Harley were going to become trapped and fast. 

He dashed out the doors and onto the next floor moving his weapon around, but there was no one on this floor. Harley looked around frantically and yanked on his hand. 

“I think intake is that way! It will lead us toward the outside.” 

Joker laughed with a wink. “Let's go sweetheart!” 

They turned the corner only to be confronted by more guards. 

“What the hell do they have, an endless supply? They're like roaches!” Joker muttered as laid down a quick roll of bullets before he turned around grabbing her hand once more and tugging her with him. They went around another corner only to realize they were heading into a secured block. Harley wasn't sure where they were here, but Joker didn't stop; he kept moving and dragging her with him. 

A new set of alarms, louder than the last set, started to chime as they sailed down this hall. 

Ahead of them, lights started flashing along the wall. Harley hissed. “Oh shit!” 

The sound of grinding gears could be heard and something heavy began moving in the walls and ceiling. They stopped for a heartbeat and looked around only to realize that a set of the containment doors were starting to be lowered at the end of the hall they were running along. If the thick door closed, it would successfully lock off sections of the asylum, trapping them. 

Joker put on speed, practically dragging Harley behind him when he saw they were about to be cut off. 

Joker kept moving, his focus on getting past the doors before they fell. Harley's hand in his was getting sweaty, her fingers numb from the grip he had on her. Suddenly a sound like a large fire cracker being set off in a tight space reverberated through the hallway. 

Harley gasped suddenly, stumbling forward as white hot pain shot up her thigh. The pain was as blinding as it was surprising, but then, in the next second, her leg just suddenly stopped working. 

Harley dropped to the floor as her leg gave out. 

She lost her hold on Joker's hand as she went down. Joker didn't realize what had happened, he was so focused on the door that he barely registered that her hand was no longer in his. 

“Come on Harls, we're almost there!” Joker shouted. 

He was right at the doors when Joker dropped his weight. He hit the linoleum hard enough that his teeth rattled, but his momentum was enough that he went sliding against the floor, slipping under the containment doors. He rolled onto his stomach looking for Harley. 

He snarled in confusion. “HARLEY!!” 

He saw her on the floor a few feet away from him in a growing pool of blood. He started to crawl under the thick doors risking getting himself crushed to come after her. 

Harley screamed. “NO! GO!!” 

She didn't see who it was, but Joker was grabbed by his ankles and someone yanked him backwards just as the doors slammed down cutting off her view of him. 

Harley let out a sobbing gasp as she screamed, “PUDDIN!!” 

She collapsed against the floor as the guards hurried to surround her, their weapons pointed at her. She lashed out, tears blinding her. One of the men said something as she tried to get to her feet, her one leg refusing to cooperate while she tried to grab one of the guns pointed at her. A guard on her other side rammed the muzzle of his weapon again her wound and blinding pain shot through her. Harley screamed in agony, a curse on her lips just as she pass out. 

* 

When her eyes fluttered open again, found herself strapped to a bed. She had been undressed and put into a hospital gown. Straps had been placed around her head that kept her from turning her head. Harley started to panic, but she quickly calmed her breathing. She needed to figure out where she was and what was happening. 

She rotated her eyes around to see where she was, which looked like a recovery room, but she couldn't be sure. She had, of course, done rotations in med school, but she had never dealt with the surgery side of things, the closest being shock therapy which she was decidedly against as a way to cure someone. Harley swallowed and squeezed her eyes shut before she opened them again. She felt so groggy that she found difficulty in focusing on anything. She kept wanting to slip back into sleep. Sleep would make things so much easier, then she wouldn't have to deal with anything...Joker...she pressed her eyes closed again, squeezing them tightly. She had to believe he escaped. She had to...anything else...the pain in her chest swelled, spreading. She shoved it away and tried to focus on her situation. 

She couldn't move at all, every part of her was strapped down. Her left thigh throbbed from the bullet wound. From the feel of it, the wound had been taken care of and it felt as if a bandage covered her thigh. So she had been out long enough for them to remove the bullet. She wasn't hooked up to an IV so she must have been out of surgery for a while now. There were no nurses in the room, no other patients...so she probably wasn't in a regular hospital. Except for her and the bed, the room was empty of anything, not even equipment though, she couldn't see much beyond the ceiling and walls. 

“Hello?? Anyone there?” Her voice seemed to echo in the room. Her lips were dry and cracked when she called out. Harley struggled to move her head again, but she was just held down too tightly. 

After a few more minutes of lying there, just when she started to worry that she was completely alone, strapped down and forgotten, she heard a door open. Then she saw the face of Dr. Strange looming over her. 

“Ah...Dr. Quinzel. I see that your escape did not go as planned.” He smiled at her, making her skin crawl. 

“Where is he??!!” Harley struggled against her restraints. 

Dr. Strange grinned at her. “Dead, my dear and doing his part for the rest of man-kind by having his brain dissected and examined.” 

He placed a hand near her head leaning in closely. 

Her voice trembled, but she hissed. “You're lying! He got away.” 

Strange laughed. “Oh my dear, why lie when the truth is so much better? The Joker is dead, shot in the back like a dog by one of the guards. Did you really think you could get away? I can show you what remains of his body if you like, my dear? But right now it is time to start your treatment. You are going to help me prove a point, Dr. Quinzel. You fell to the charisma of the Joker and I, my dear, am going to cure you. I am going to show you that these villains do not need “therapy.” They do not need talking to; what they need is harsh treatment. They need their minds expunged, erased and then to be rewritten! That is what I am going to do for you. I am going to clear your head and start again. Rebuild you, so to speak, my dear Dr. Quinzel.” 

He stroked her hair back with his other hand and Harley spat at him. She was trying to hold onto her anger, but the fear that he was correct, that Joker didn't make it, that they had killed him, rolled over her and the tears started to fall from the corners of her eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut, but the tears kept falling. 

Strange snarled and backhanded her. She didn't even feel it as her grief overwhelmed her and Harley started to cry. 

Strange yelled. “Nurse, I want her given a dose of chlorpromazine, then I want her taken down to shock therapy. Let's see if we can't cure Dr. Quinzel, shall we?” 

* 

Harley screamed when they tried to give her the first shot of chlorpromazine. She struggled enough that the first needle broke off in her arm. The nurse ordered someone to put a gag in her mouth to stop her screaming and for some of the guards to hold her down while the nurse yanked out the needle and tried again with the injection of cholrpromazine. Harley struggled as much as she could against the injection, but they still managed to push down the plunger. By the time she was being rolled down to the shock therapy room, Harley was too out of it to struggle. 

As she was put into place, Strange smiled as he looked down at her. “You will be so much happier after this Harleen. I promise.” He tapped her forehead with his finger before putting the shock clamps on her forehead and throwing the switch. 

* 

Harley woke in a cell. There were no windows, only four walls, a solid door with a slot at the bottom, a cot and a toilet. Nothing else. For a moment she was completely confused on how she got here, her memory seemed fuzzy...images distant, and she was having a hard time holding on to them. She hurt all over. She rolled onto her side wrapping her arm around her legs holding herself in a tight fetal position. After a few minutes she started to remember where she was and how she got here. But at the forefront of her memory was Joker...and he was dead. 

She cried softly until she fell into an exhausted sleep. 

* 

She wasn't clear how long she had been in here. Sometimes it seemed like days, others like only hours. Food was shoved through a slat at the bottom of the door, but other than that no one talked to her, no one came. They didn't take her for shock treatments again and she wasn't given any more drugs. It was as if they had forgotten all about her except for the food. Just when she was beginning to think she had been thrown in a hold and forgotten for good. Two armed men came for her. 

When they can into her cell she attacked them. Harley slammed into one of the guards managing to drive him to the ground because of her surprise attack. The other guard grabbed her from behind him, hitting his communicator. “We need some help here!” 

She bit down on the guard she had gotten to the ground. The man screamed as Harley ripped a chuck out of his cheek. The guard behind her managed to haul her off, holding his arms under her. She screamed like a banshee struggling and fighting for all she was worth. Three more men entered the cell, one of them with a syringe. Harley kicked her feet up catching one of them under the chin. One of the other guards managed to avoid her legs, ducking in and hitting her with a taser in the hip. Harley screamed, but the taser distraction gave the one with the syringe enough time to get in closer and stick the needle in her neck. 

She struggled until the drugs started to take effect, making her go limp and quiet. One of the men lifted her up and tossed her over his shoulder. He rolled his eyes at the other guards. “That is a whole lot of crazy in a pretty package.” 

One of the other men laughed. “Yeah, would not want her as my girl. Too much bite.” 

They laughed as they carried Harley out of the cell. 

* 

When Harley came to, she was lying on her back in a straightjacket, but in a different cell. She pushed herself up to a sitting position. Sitting up made her dizzy, forcing her to lie back down to try to get her bearings. She couldn't be completely sure, but she was fairly confident that this was the Joker's old cell. Harley pushed herself back up into a sitting position wobbling a little, but she finally leaned against the wall. She looked around confused, the drugs in her system made her feel like she was on the edge of floating away. 

As her eyes adjusted to the room, she frowned. Yes, this was the Joker's cell...why was she here? She turned to look at the cell across from her. She could see the Riddler lying on his cot. She delicately got to her feet, which were bare, the cold of the cement floor cleared her mind more as she managed to stand up and wobble toward the front of her cell and lean against the clear door. 

“Nygma?” 

He didn't seem to hear her so Harley raised her voice just a little. “Nygma!” 

He rolled over to look at her. “Yes?” 

“How long have I been here? Can you tell me?” Harley tried to keep the desperation out of her voice, but it was difficult. 

Nygma stood. He frowned at her. It was clear he was struggling with something so instead of answering he spoke in a riddle. 

“Imagine you are in a dark room. How do you get out?” 

Harley stared at him and murmured. “You stop imagining...?” 

He smiled at her, but Harley frowned. “I don't understand....” 

That was they heard the squeaking wheels of a cart being shoved down the hall. Nygma stepped back. Harley saw the orderly with the cart; he was pushing the food cart stopping to shove a tray of food through the door slots. 

“Hey!” Harley bumped against her door. “How long have I been here?” 

The orderly finally locked eyes with her and frowned. Harley didn't recognize him from her time here as a doctor. He looked new. He frowned at her, clearly confused by the question. 

“You've always been here,” he muttered. 

“What do you mean I've always been here? I just started working here as a doctor a few months ago.” Harley watched him slide her tray in wondering for a second how they expected her to eat with a straightjacket on. 

“As a doctor?” He snickered. “Really? Damn, I must be a doctor too...oh no, I know—I'm actually the head of the asylum.” 

Harley narrowed her eyes. “How long have you been working here? I don't recognize you.” 

The orderly sighed. “Look, Miss Quinn. You ask me this question every day, and every day I tell you the same thing: you've been here as long as I can remember and I have been here for a couple of years.” 

Harley starred at the young man, her breath coming out in a whoosh...“What? Years?” 

He nodded. “Yes, Miss Quinn, you've been a patient here for at least two years, but you were here when I started working so I think you're been here longer than that.” 

“But that can't be right. I only started working here a few months ago.” Harley slid down the wall until her rear hit the floor. 

The orderly shrugged with a chuckle. “You are always trying to convince someone you were a doctor here Miss Quinn.” 

“Miss Quinn?” She glanced up at him. 

He nodded. “Yes, Harley Quinn...that's you.” He grinned at her and pushed the cart away. 

Harley glanced at Riddler who put a finger to his lips in a classic symbol of quiet.


	8. But each time that I do just the thought of you

Bob grabbed Joker's legs just before the security door slammed down, separating Joker from his Harley. Joker roared getting to his feet and flinging himself against the door slamming his fists against its hard surface. “GIVE HER BACK!!!!!” 

Bob grabbed Joker around the waist and lifted him off his feet heading toward the last set of doors that would lead to freedom. 

Joker's eyes blazed with fury and madness as he turned on Bob for a split second, ready to tear the mute's throat out, but at the last moment he stopped himself from killing the larger man as Bob actually flung him through the next set of doors just as the security hatch slammed down. 

Joker slid across the slick floor coming up on his bare feet at the end of the slide, when he saw the six guards waiting with weapons drawn between him and freedom. He started to laugh, high and loud, the sound of his misplaced humor setting the men on edge as the blood covered, insanely laughing Joker stood before them in nothing but a hospital gown and a lab coat. 

One of the men shouted. “Come on guys, it's one man; we can take him down!” 

The same man narrowed his eyes at Joker. “On your knees, hands behind your head! Do it now!” 

Joker smiled. “I'm little under dressed for a party! But I do love party games!” 

Then he broke into a his full grin, laughing. “This is going to be fun.” 

Joker moved swiftly and gracefully. The pale man was amazingly fast. The guard didn't register that he had moved until it was too late. 

He went toward the first man at a run, his bare feet barely making a sound as he dashed across the cold floor. The guard's weapon went off with a jerk, his sudden flight toward them throwing them off. They fired at Joker, but Joker weaved, avoiding the bullets almost as if he were seeing them. Joker's movements were not only fast, but also graceful, demonstrating why he was a worthy opponent to the Batman. Only one shot came close, striking his shoulder and grazing through the lab coat and hospital gown to burn a streak across Joker's white flesh. Joker didn't lose a beat, only registering the wound with a slight jerk of his shoulder; otherwise he ignored the wound as if nothing had happened. 

Joker ducked down and came up under the gun of the first guard he charged. He wrapped a hand around the barrel of the rifle despite the heat of the metal against his palm, shoving the barrel up while the flat of his other palm came forward to smash the guard in the face, shattering the guard's nose. The man's finger in the rifle jerked, firing the weapon, but Joker brought the gun down spun it around, letting the weapon fire hit to the guard next to him. 

Joker dropped the guard whose nose he had broken, but not before coming in close enough to grab the baton off the man's hip. Joker used the baton on the guard to his left. He brought the baton down on the other man's forearm, breaking bones with a loud snap. The guard cried out before he dropped his weapon, but before the rifle struck the floor, Joker brought the baton around slamming the same man across the face hard enough to shatter his jaw and crack a few teeth.

The other guards started to fire on him, but Joker ducked and grabbed the man with the broken jaw quickly hauling him to his feet and turning the guard around, letting the bullets strike his body, smiling the whole time. The guard wore a bulletproof jacket, but the shots riddled him everywhere as fear made the other men fire without stopping to see who their bullets were hitting. At least one round went through the guard's neck, which emitted only a strangely small spray of blood. Then, just as they stopped shooting, Joker threw his dead shield forward into the other four guards. 

Joker started to laugh, clearly enjoying himself. He ducked low grabbing the gun from the dead man at his feet and and began to fire. The bullets were not aimed at their chests, but at the guards' knees and thighs where they weren't wearing any protection. One man went down instantly with a cry of agony as the other three shot, but Joker was on them within seconds. He ducked under one guard's weapon, using the weapon he was carrying as a bludgeon to the man's face, breaking all his teeth with the stock of the gun. Joker drove that guard down turning the weapon around fluidly to shoot that man in the face in the next moment, as the last two guards, wounded, tried to get out of the way. They stumbled back from Joker who launched himself at one of the men, who screamed in fear. Joker drove him to the floor, crouching on his chest, having thrown away the gun, his hands already around the guard's neck. Within seconds, Joker squeezed down hard, his thumbs breaking the man's adam's apple with a loud crunch. The last of the guards was down, Joker having managed to shoot out his knees.

The man was holding his gun on Joker, but he was shaking from fear and shock, dragging himself with one hand trying to escape though his legs were in ruins. Joker smiled, grabbing the barrel of the weapon with his already burned hand. “Now you my dear sweet friend may actually get out of this alive...if you give me your keys and tell me how to get the rest of the way out of this asylum” 

The guy trembled. “I'll tell you anything you want to know—just don't kill me!” 

Joker patted the guard's cheek. “Well, now...” Joker giggled crouching down lower so his ear was close to the man's mouth, placing one of his fingers along side his ear. “I'm all ears.” 

* 

Harley fought when they came to take her to treatment. She was being dragged to the showers for her “water” treatments. Her sane mind told her to relax, that she wouldn't let them win, she knew who she saw and what the trust was, but her anger and fear drowned out her sanity. 

She was in a straightjacket, barefoot as she was dragged between the two guards. She screamed at the top of her lungs. “I'M DR. HARLEEN QUINZEL!!! I'M NOT MAD!!! STOP THIS!! LET ME GO!!” She screamed until her voice was harsh, her throat burned, her eyes were blood-shot and her cheeks were tear-stained. 

The guards dragged her into the room where a large tub was being filled with water by one nurse while another filled it with ice. 

Harley screamed. “I'M NOT MAD!!!” 

No one said a thing to her they simply went about their tasks. The two large men lifted her up and dumped her into the icy water. Harley screamed and fought, but they held her down, the water freezing her body, making her limbs stiff, the icy pain rushing through her to her bones. She screamed until her voice was gone. “YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!!” 

She started sobbing, “You can't do this!!” 

By the time they hauled her out of the tub, she was numb with the cold, shivering so hard that she couldn't speak; her lips had turned slightly blue. 

She was then taken to the other end of the room. Her constricting jacket was removed before she was chained to the wall with her arms spread out. She shivered trying to speak.

“Ttthhhissss issss innnhhhuummmannn!!”

The guards and the orderlies simply did their job, pulling a large hose around and spraying her with the water. Harley screamed, the powerful flood of water hitting her hard, stinging and abrading her cold flesh. Then they would turn it off, Harley would sputter and gasp, then, just as she caught her breath, they would hit her with the water again. 

After they finished, she was forced back into her straightjacket, given a set of injections and dropped back into her cell. 

Harley lay against her pillow, her wet hair hiding her face as she started to giggle. The sound started low and gradual gained volume as her giggling turned into full laughter. 

Riddler frowned watching her and listening to the laughter coming from her cell...she sounded strangely, uncomfortably, like Joker. 

Before dinner she was fetched again, screaming and fighting as she was taken to her private session with Dr. Strange. 

* 

Harley was sat down in the chair opposite Strange, her ankles cuffed to the legs of the chair. 

“Now Ms. Quinn,” Strange said slowly. “Today we are going to discuss how we can help you get better.” 

Harley had squeezed her eyes shut, but opened one to glare at him. “Dr. Qunizel.” 

Strange sighed, steepled his fingers in front of him. “Ms. Quinn...we have talked about this...” 

Harley hissed at him before she started to thrash about her in chair. She started to scream calling Strange a liar and the devil until finally he called in some orderlies who sedated her with a needle to the neck. 

* 

Her days ran together until Harley had no idea how long she had been here or when she had arrived...no memories at all except of the now. 

When Harley woke, she was laying on her side. Her jacket had been removed and she was in dry clothes, though her hair was still slightly damp and knotted. 

It was late at night as she watched the shadows of the orderlies and guards moving by in the hall. She giggled softly, chewing on a strand of her hair as memories danced through her mind's eye. 

Joker alive...then a vision of Joker dead and she would start to laugh harder, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

She squeezed her eyes tight remembering their first night together in isolation...his mouth on her, his hands exploring her body. She remembered his whispered words, his small endearments and she would start to cry again. After a little bit she started to mutter to herself. “The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.” She giggled softly. “Fall apart fall apart, it all falls apart....” she closed her eyes, a single tear running from under one eyelid. 

* 

Joker left a trail of bodies, but he eventually made it back to one of his hideouts. This hideout was one that only he knew about. It was located in a small basement room in the remains of an old Victorian house located in The Hill area. To look at house, the place looked vacant and ready to collapse in on itself. Which it was, but the door in the back, an old metal lid that covered what used to be a coal chute, actually had a ladder that led into a cellar. From the cellar, there was an old metal door—hard to see since there was no light down here—that led down and under toward a set of stairs that ended in a series of large rooms that spanned the width of the house. This was Joker's tiny ha-hacienda as he liked to call it. It was a place only he knew about and only he could get into with out getting killed. 

Once he was inside, he shut the doors, reconnecting the traps and alarms before he collapsed on the sofa he had down here. He laid there in the dark for a moment before he clapped his hands and the lights came on, making him giggle for a few seconds. 

He continued to lay there in the light. They had Harley...his Harley...he had to get her back, he simply couldn't leave her there! But how to get her back? For a moment he closed his eyes picturing her here with him, her naked body on top of his, the sensual curve of her back, the moan of his name on her lips. He pictured her laugh, her smile, her bright and clear blue eyes...Joker rolled onto his side and cursed. He muttered to himself.

“Desire becomes surrender, surrender becomes power....” Joker covered his face with his hands wondering: when did I give her that power? He thought briefly about leaving her, forgetting he ever knew her...but he knew he couldn't do that...he wanted her...needed her...she was his...and he would get her back. 

He had Bob. Bob had just proven himself to be...valuable...he smiled popping up, plans running through his mind. He would get her back and kill anyone and everyone who stood in his way. 

* 

Harley slept it fits, muttering to herself in her sleep, whispering for her Joker, crying, waiting. With a start she imagined pain flaring up her leg from her gunshot wound or the security door slamming shut between her and Joker. She had just woke from one such terrible dream when there was a light tap at the glass wall. She ignored it, figuring if it was the guards they would come in here and drag her away regardless of her reacting or not. The knock happened again and she finally opened one eye to look. 

Bob stood there, his eyes jumping back and forth, looking down the halls, then back at her. Harley frowned and with difficulty got to her feet. She leaned against the wall. 

“Bob?” 

Bob nodded vigorously. 

Harley frowned, her hair hanging in her eyes as she stared at him. “Are you real? Or are you a pink elephant?” She started to giggle slowly dragging herself to lean against the glass, before she let herself slid down until she was sitting on the floor. 

Bob looked around again quickly before he pulled out a tiny folded piece of paper. He slid it through the slot on her door. Then he knocked again to get her attention. Harley looked up at him, her blue eyes blood shot, rimmed with red. He pointed vigorously until Harley turned and saw the tiny item lying there. She frowned in confusion and picked it up. She glanced back at Bob who stared down at her. 

She unfolded the note slowly. 

My Harley, still here baby, I'm coming for you. J. 

She stared at the note then back up at Bob who grinned. She started to shake, pressing the note against her breast. 

Her voice started as a whisper before becoming a hysterical whisper. 

“He's alive!! He's ALIVE!!” She jumped up and Bob hastily motioned for her to be quiet. She nodded vigorously and stared at Bob hard. “Have I been here for a long time?” 

Bob frowned and nodded. 

She pressed her lips together. “Was my name Harleen Quinzel?” She clawed at the glass and Bob nodded. Harley grinned, her eyes alight with madness, but with something else now as she hissed. 

“He's coming for me...I'm going to kill them all when he takes me away....”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harley quotes F. Scott Fitzgerald.


	9. But why should I try to resist when baby...

It took Joker several weeks to finally determine out where his Harley was being kept. He wanted her back and he wanted her back NOW. 

* 

At first, he remained hidden in his tiny hideout away from the world. He needed time to plan. 

“Need to get the gang back together,” he mused. “And I need to figure out where they put my pumpkin.” He chuckled happily thinking about her...creamy, silky skin...her moving on top of him, the way she felt. Plus, she was quite intelligent...and her laugh. It was to die for—or even kill for. He sighed. 

He assumed she might end up in Gotham State Penitentiary. Standard procedure indicated that she would be sent there as a first offense—granted a pretty big one, as he thought of his girl spraying guards with his Joker Venom sidetracked his thoughts for a little while...then the fucking in the elevator...all of it had him laughing with glee. She is so perfect for me, he thought. 

He wasn't really worried about her. Harley had shown she could take care of herself. She would be fine in the state facility until he could get to her. Additionally, he didn't really think she was in any real danger. After all, she was a doctor from Arkham; she probably wouldn't end up in general population right away. He had more than enough time to formulate a plan to break in and get her out. 

To facilitate operation “Get Pumpkin” Joker made contact with his right hand man, Frost. 

* 

Frost was sitting in an old recliner in a non-descriptive apartment located near the Amusement Mile. The place looked like any other run down apartment building. The perfect place to hide out and wait. 

He was relaxing in a beat up recliner, reading when his cell phone went off. He picked it up without looking at the caller ID, which caused him to be more than simply surprised when her heard the Boss's voice. 

“Hidiho there! It's Joker old buddy. Ready to do something criminal with me?” Joker laughed. 

Frost dropped his book and sat up straighter. “Boss! You're out?” 

Joker giggled. “Free as a bird, but I have a mission and I could use your help sweetheart.” 

Frost felt that cold rock in his stomach. Frost was made of stern stuff, but whenever Joker called him sweetheart, that meant they were about to do something that was going to get messy. 

* 

Frost met up with Joker at a bar tucked into a dark and seedy corner of the Bowery. The bar was called Ulthar's Hole, and it was definitely a hole. 

When Frost arrived, the place was packed with the usual suspects, a whole gaggle of low-lifes. He walked to the back where the Boss's favorite booth was when he came here for food and a drink. It was one of the few places that the Boss didn't kill someone...rephrase that, Frost thought...it was one of the few places the boss could kill someone and not have to worry about Gotham's finest finding out. The rule here in Ulthar's Hole, no one sees, hears or talks about anything. That was why a lot of unsavory business went down here. 

Frost saw Joker sitting at his favored booth with a root beer float and a huge bowl of peanuts in the shell that he was cracking open and tossing into his mouth. When he saw Frost he broke into a huge smile. “There he is!! My main man!!” 

Frost smiled sliding into the booth across from Joker. Joker shoved the bowl of peanuts at Frost grinning while he took a drink of his float making a really loud and obnoxious noise with his straw. 

Frost smiled. “Hey Boss; how's it going.” 

Joker leaned back lacing his fingers over his chest. “Well Frost sweetheart. I am in a bit of a pickle. It seems I have met a woman.” 

Frost couldn't hide the look of shock that crossed his face. Up until this point, Joker had shown little interest in anyone beyond killing them... 

“Is this someone you want dead Boss?” Frost picked up a peanut rolling it between his fingers. 

Joker laughed. “No, no. She is my soulmate Frost! My one true love and I need to break her out of prison.” 

Frost frowned, but nodded. “Okay. She at the Gotham Penitentiary?” 

“Well, Frost my dear, I'm not sure,” Joker said with narrow eyes, thinking. “That is what we need to find out.” 

Joker laid out what had happened in Arkham and how he assumed she would be taken to the state prison. 

Frost helped Joker in planning the break-in. The first part of the plan was to access the computer system and see exactly where Harley was being held. Joker would hack the facility's computer system, find her, get her out and go home! 

* 

The plan did not go as expected. Joker hacked the prison computers from his hideout, but there was nothing. The computers showed no one by the name of Dr. Harleen Quinzel as being brought to Gotham Penitentiary. Joker snarled, turning his chair around to glare at Frost. “According to records, there is no Dr. Quinzel on file at the Gotham State Pen.” 

Frost frowned. “Maybe they just haven't done her paper work yet boss?” 

Joker stewed for a few minutes. “Alright, we're going anyway.” 

Frost just nodded. “Yes sir.” 

Frost took a deep breath. Here we go, he thought. 

* 

After about four days of getting things ready, Joker hit the prison. Joker, Frost and a few other men that Frost had found hit the jail at three in the morning. They killed a handful of night duty guards, then went through the prison corridors and cells, the women's section and the men's, the infirmiry, and looking in every nook and cranny trying to find some sign of Harley. 

They finally made their way back to one of the guard rooms where they had three guards held at gunpoint. 

“Where is she??!!” Joker snarled picking up a computer and throwing it across the room 

Frost took a tentative step toward his boss. 

“Maybe we missed something boss?” 

Joker turned on one of the guards they had tied up, his eyes blazing. “Where is Harley??!!” 

The guard sputtered. “I have no idea who that is!” 

Joker hissed pulling his gun out and shot the man in the face. 

Joker moved to stand in front of the next guard. “Same question and you better have a better answer.” 

The guard was shaking as he muttered. “Maybe she's dead?” 

Joker's eyes widened for just a moment before he shot that guard in the face too, twice. 

Joker grinned as he stepped in front of the next one. “Third time's the charm, they always say.” 

This guard glared back. “Maybe she's at Blackgate with the rest of the criminals that deserve what's coming to them.” 

Joker laughed. “Oh I like you...defiant, but you know...good answer.” Joker then shot him. 

Frost sighed. Three more dead guards...lovely. 

“Boss, we should probably get moving. I mean your girl isn't here and Batman or the cops are going to be showing up any time now.” 

Joker sighed looking defeated, which frightened Frost. Joker never looked defeated...ever. Whoever this Harley Quinn was that he was after, she apparently meant a lot to the boss. 

“You're right Frost, let's go.” 

Just before they left Joker shot the remaining men with them that Frost had hired. Frost blinked in surprise. “Boss?” 

Joker shrugged. “I don't want the whole world knowing my business!” Joker turned on his heel and stomped back to the car. Frost frowned then sighed. 

* 

Breaking into Blackgate wasn't an option, but kidnapping a guard that worked there was...So with Frost's help, Joker did some digging finding himself a likely guard to take and interrogate—Frank Boles. 

* 

Frank was walking out to his car. It was well after one in the morning and it had been a shit day. He hated this job; the only time it was okay was when he could get away with beating one or two prisoners. 

He was so occupied with being angry and feeling sorry for himself that he didn't notice the clown who slipped out of the darkness behind him. Just as Boles was about to put his keys in the car door, he heard someone laugh. He turned around just in time to see the Joker who was standing with a huge clown size gun pointed at him. Frank opened his mouth to yell, but that was when Joker shot the gun, a giant boxing glove coming out to hit Frank in the face. The impact knocked him back against his car hard enough that the air was knocked out of his lungs dropping him on his ass. Joker looked surprised. “Didn't actually think that was going to work? Huh?” 

Frank started to struggle to get his gun, but Joker walked up swiftly and kicked him across the face with a giggle. 

When Frank woke up he was duct-taped to a chair with more duct tape across his mouth. Every part of him hurt. He could hear some music playing; it wasn't very loud, but he frowned. He was pretty sure it was Black Sabbath's “Mob Rules” that was playing. As his vision cleared and he was able to look around, he saw an ordinary man sitting on a metal folding chair. He looked for all the world as if he was doing a crossword puzzle in a folded magazine. Frank turned a little and that was when he saw the Joker. Joker was sitting on a wheeled chair dressed in brown surfer shorts and a very ugly Hawaiian shirt, with purple striped socks along with dress shoes and spats..Joker looked to be doing something on the computer in front of him. 

Frank struggled against his bonds. The man doing the cross word just looked up at him and then went straight back to his puzzle. Joker turned around and laughed. 

“Oh, you're awake!!! Brilliant!!” 

Joker spun around on his wheeled chair pulling his legs up like a child. “WEEEE!!!” 

He giggled rolling his chair toward Frank, then he leapt up and sat on Frank's lap wrapping an arm around Frank's shoulders. 

“Alright buddy!! You are going to help me out, right?” 

Frank stared at the pale psychotic and then nodded. 

Joker laughed. “Oh, I knew you would! Didn't I say he would help us out Frost?” Joker patted Frank's cheeks. “I love this guy.” 

Frost didn't look up from his crossword. “You sure did, Boss.” 

Joker kept one arm around Frank's shoulders and with the other he played with the buttons and badge on Frank's uniform.. “You are going to tell me everyone who is in Blackgate prison aren't you?” 

Frank looked confused, but nodded. 

Joker smiled. “Oh goodie! I love it when someone cooperates...well not really, but tonight I do!” 

* 

Frank kept his promise and brought Joker all the information he could on who was being held in Blackgate. No one named Harleen Quinzel or Harley Quinn was listed at the prison. 

When Blackgate didn't pan out, Joker felt a cold lump in his stomach. He was terrified that Harley was dead. For once, Joker was not smiling and Frost was scared. He had never seen the boss...depressed? That was the only thing it could be. Joker paced and muttered to himself. He would suddenly go into a rage destorying everything around him. Frost wasn't sure what was going to happen if this woman he was after really was dead...he was fairly confident he didn't want to be around when—if it happened either. 

* 

When Blackgate had no record of her, Joker and Frost checked the hospitals and the morgues. Joker hacked records at every funeral home in Gotham trying to find something on a Dr. Harleen Quinzel, but it was as if she had disappeared off the face of the earth. There was nothing. He decided to check the morgues himself. Slipping in after hours Joker, with Frost's help, opened every drawer, checking every body...none of them were his Harley. 

Joker stood quietly after they had hit the last morgue in Gotham. Dead bodies littered the room around him where he, in a rage, had thrown them to the floor when none of them had been Harley...his Harley. Frost stayed outside the door, nervously keeping an eye on his boss. 

Joker stood very still in middle of the morgue, bodies littered around him and his hands balled into fists at his side. His hissed, his breath low and dangerous without a hint of humor in his voice. “Where is she?” 

* 

Two weeks later Joker had a glimmer of hope. Frost had found information about Harley's apartment. Whoever had caused her to disappear hadn't bothered to do anything about her apartment. 

Harleen Quinzel had an apartment located in Coventry. A third floor studio apartment that was up for rent, all furnishings included. 

Joker and Frost easily broke in. The place was nice, but it wasn't really secure and no one was around at the moment to pay any attention to two men breaking the lock on the door. 

Joker walked in swiftly, only to discover everything still there—nothing had been touched. There was a pile of mail on the floor just in front of the door and everything inside was covered in dust. The damn placed looked like a museum to Dr. Quinzel's empty life. There were no pictures of a life beyond the walls of this apartment. 

Joker frowned looking around, picking up some cat figurines and putting them down again. He walked to her bedroom, the bed unmade with a light layer of dust on it. Joker opened her closet, all her clothing were there...lots of red and black...her shoes...there was even a half empty glass of water on her bedside table; the water had a layer of dust floating on top of it. Joker stopped moving, going deathly still in the same way he had at the morgue. He simply stopped moving and stood in her bedroom. 

Frost looked nervously at Joker's back. “Boss?” 

Joker snarled. “Where is she??!!!” 

Joker swept his arm across one of the tables by her bed, knocking all the contents to the floor. “WHERE IS SHE?!!” 

For a moment Frost could only imagine the bloodshed that would cover Gotham if this Harley Quinn or Harleen Quinzel...whatever her name was...was dead. Joker would pull the whole city down with his pain. 

Joker took a step toward Frost, the rage burning behind his green eyes had Frost on edge. This was when his boss was his most dangerous...madness was clear in Joker's eyes, deadly madness. 

Frost rubbed a hand down his face. “I don't know, Boss.” 

Joker grabbed him, his fingers digging into Frost's upper arms. The force of his grip threatened to break Frost's arms. 

Frost gritted his teeth, trying not to show the pain he was in or the fear. “You don't suppose she is still in Arkham do you?” the Joker's lieutenant asked. 

Joker stared at Frost, his grip loosening. Frost went very still, careful not to antagonize his less than stable boss. 

Joker stood there unmoving like a snake ready to strike. Finally a smile crossed his face. “That's where she is, Frost...” Joker laughed and patted Frost on the shoulders. 

“That's where she is! Come on...lucky for us I have someone on the inside of that little fun house.” 

Frost nearly sagged in relief. He nodded. “Sure thing, Boss.” 

* 

Frost took several calming breaths. He had done harder jobs in the past for the boss, but walking into Arkham always made him nervous. The boss always acted like Arkham was a ball of fun, but Frost knew the truth—this place gave the term “mad house” a bad name. And now he was walking in there to see an inmate named Bob. 

When Frost arrived at the front desk, the woman who looked like Hitler's nanny was sitting at the computer. She looked up with dull grey eyes, seemed to inspect him and then just as quickly dismiss him. “What do you want?” she asked in a tone as dull as her eyes and uniform. 

Frost swallowed. “Ah, yes. I just recently learned that I have a cousin here and well...I thought I might visit.” 

The nurse sighed. “Patient's name?” 

Frost murmured fidgeting with his tie. “Bob Frost. Or just Bob.” 

The nurse looked up now; her eyes showed a hint of curiosity. “Bob?” 

“Yeah, Bob. He's a really big guy, at least six foot, bald...been here for a long time.” Frost smiled. 

The nurse frowned. “Really? Wow, I don't think anyone has ever come to visit Bob before.” 

Frost smiled. “Well, I just recently learned that I had a cousin here in Arkham.” 

The nurse nodded. “Okay, well can you wait here.” 

Frost nodded putting his hands behind his back. He was ready to take off if he needed to, but luckily nothing happened. He was escorted to a room where he was asked to wait. 

A few minutes later a very confused looking giant of a man was brought in. 

Frost smiled standing up and holding out his hand. “Bob?” 

The man nodded frowning. 

Frost smiled. “A mutual friend of ours sent me to check on you and to see if you can help us with something.” 

Bob's frown deepened, but then Frost smiled. Frost pulled a playing card from his pocket and laid it in front of Bob. It was a Joker. 

* 

Joker was waiting outside in Frost's car. The Ford Escape had tinted windows which hid him from the outside. Joker ate gummy bears distractedly while he glared at the front of the asylum gates. When he saw Frost coming, Joker could barely contain his anticipation. When Frost got back in the vehicle it took every once of Joker's strength not to pounce on him and wring his neck for information. Frost smiled. “She's here, Boss.” 

Joker grinned and slammed the roof with his fist. “YES!!” 

“You gave Bob the note?” 

Frost nodded. “Yes, Boss.” 

Joker grinned even brighter rubbing his hands together. “I should bring her flowers...and maybe a baseball bat....” He turned to looked at Frost. “Women like bats right?” 

Frost blinked then nodded. “I'm sure your girl does, Boss.”


	10. For the sake of havin' you near

Harley screamed while she tried to bite the men hauling her through the halls of Arkham. She thrashed and pulled, putting all her strength into her struggles. The two big men were having a hard time holding onto her as she dropped her weight or tried to take bites out of them. She finally pulled one arm free and lashed out, hitting the guard in his unprotected groin while at the same moment she ripped herself free from the other guard. As the man she hit in the balls dropped to the floor, she threw herself onto him biting down on his cheek. The guard screamed. The second guard grabbed Harley under her arms tugging back on her as hard as he could, trying to yank her off the other man. She tore out a hunk of the downed guard's cheek and spit it out, blood running down her chin while she laughed. 

Four more men moved quickly into the narrow hall, one of whom was an asylum doctor with a syringe in his hand. 

“Hold her still!!” the doctor yelled. 

One guard pulled away the wounded man while the rest struggled to get Harley subdued enough for the doctor to give her the injection. After a long, terrifying minute, the doctor got the needle to her neck and injected her. She continued to struggle for as long as she could, but the chemicals in her system pulled her down into oblivion... 

Dr. Strange watched the monitors that showed the hall. He let out a long sigh of exasperation when he saw the incident with Harley beating the two guards. Oddly in the last few days she had grown more problematic rather than becoming more docile. He had no idea why. She had received no visitors or had any outside influences. He was confident no one knew about her being in Arkham and that Dr. Quinzel had utterly disappeared. He was also confident that he was erasing the persona of Dr. Quinzel and replacing it with Harley Quinn...so why was she acting up more? What had started this new bout of defiance? Perhaps it was the created persona taking more control and acting her part, albeit quite rapidly? 

Strange drummed his fingers along his chin. Interesting... 

They had continued her electroshock therapy, hydrotherapy, isolation and drugs. She had clearly lost her sanity, but she had also rallied. Strange had thought he almost had her broken, but clearly he was going to have to step up her treatments. 

On the other hand, Dr. Harleen Quinzel's disappearance had been accomplished with little issue. No one had come looking for her and no questions had been asked. 

He smiled. There was plenty of time to rebuild her; he just had to find the best way to break her will. 

* 

Joker's hideout was dimly lit, just as the Boss liked it. Frost glanced up from the blueprint of Arkham Asylum rolled out on the table, to watch his boss pacing. Joker was twitchy, muttering to himself. His hands were behind his back, his usual purple leather gloves on, as he took long strides across the room. He was dress odder than usual, a clear sign Frost had learned long ago, that meant Joker was off his game, upset and on the verge of a complete breakdown. And breakdowns for the boss usually involved a lot of sudden vacancies to fill in the gang...as well as holes to dig to hide the bodies. 

Joker wore a pair of simply horrible Bermuda shorts, yellow with bright orange Hawaiian flowers on them paired with a bright orange dress shirt and a lime green vest, with striped socks of red and white and no shoes. His hair was a mess from running his hands continually through it. 

Whoever this Harley Quinn was, Joker had it bad for her and they needed to get her out of Arkham and soon, because what little sanity Joker had was slipping away. 

“Boss?” Frost tried to bring Joker's attention back to the blueprints. 

Joker's head snapped toward him and for a moment Frost tensed, but Joker eased down smiling. 

“Yes sweetheart?” 

Frost stiffened imperceptibly, but pointed at the blueprint. “Once our man hits their computers with your computer virus, that will open all the locks, freeing the inmates. We can blow this wall out like you said. I think it will work Boss; you should only have a couple of halls to get through to get to her cell. The confusion of the inmates running loose should help with us getting her out of there.” 

Joker leaned on the table smiling. “Now when would be the best night to do out little rescue, eh?” 

Frost reached over looking at the schedule at Arkham. The print stated that on Friday nights there were less guards than any other night of the week. Frost smiled. “This Friday. I should have all the explosives ready by then, no problem, Boss.” 

“Oh, Fridays are perfect date nights!” Joker laughed. “Did you pick up the bat I asked you to get, Frost my love?” 

Frost nodded. “Sure did Boss. I'll go get it.” 

Frost stepped out; he had left the bat in the back of his car. When he came back in Joker was playing with one of his pistols, swinging it around his fingers then catching it and aiming, squinting down the sight just as Frost walked in carrying the bat. Frost stopped for a moment. Joker was damn good with a weapon. Frost knew if Joker wanted him dead, he would be dead. For a moment, that tiny voice of reason far in the back of his mind whispered a little query about why Frost continued to do what he did, but he blinked and ignored the voice. In for a penny, in for a pound. 

When Joker saw Frost had the bat he squealed jumping up and grabbing the bat from Frost. 

“It's perfect!! Think she'll like it?” 

“I think she'll love it boss.” Frost grinned. 

Joker dashed over and sat down, grabbing up a knife from the table. “Needs a few personal touches though...” Joker giggled to himself. 

He then proceeded to drop down cross-legged on the floor and began carving something into the bat. He hummed to himself then started to sing the words he was carving: 

Hush little baby, don’t say a word. 

Momma’s gonna kill for you the whole damn world. 

And if they don’t laugh at our jokes, 

Momma’s gonna stab out their goddamn throats. 

Frost frowned listening to Joker singing. Things were worse than he thought, Joker was singing... 

* 

Inside the asylum Riddler watched as Dr. Quinzel was brought back to her cell. She looked worse now than ever. Each time she came back from a “therapy session” she looked more unstable. Riddler glanced in the direction of the cameras where he knew he and all the other inmates were being watched. This whole thing had gone far, far beyond what he thought was going to happen and now Strange was starting to experiment on the other inmates, which had not been part of the deal at all. Go along with Dr. Quinzel's supposed madness...make her think she had always been Harley Quinn and everyone else won't be touched. Well, that hadn't lasted very long. 

Riddler had had enough. He had been trying to figure out a way to communicate with Harleen since they brought her in without Strange knowing, but once the treatments had started on her, his riddles had seemed pointless. Now however...the situation was becoming desperate. But just like Quinzel, Riddler was trapped and under the thumb of Strange. 

* 

In her cell, Harley was thrown onto her bed, still in her drug addled state. She lay on her side muttering to herself, the tips of her fingers playing with her lips. She was barefoot, wearing a pair of the grey Akhman hospital sweatpants and a grey tank-top. Her hair was still wet, hanging in her face. She looked small...almost doll-like in her delicate hold on what sanity remained. 

The only way she was holding onto any of her sanity was thinking about Joker and his note. She dug into her bra pulling out the soaked note. It barely held together as she unfolded it, the ink now smudged and barely legible. Thinking about what Joker would do to Strange with her help...her puddin was coming for her...he was coming...her hands bloody with Strange's blood...she giggled. 

* 

Friday night came. It was a damp night, having rained earlier that day. 

Joker had been on edge all throughout the day, checking and double checking the bombs, his gift for Harley, the computer virus, and the crew until Joker was about ready to shoot someone just to relieve his stress. Frost had been equally as agitated that day, but for another reason entirely. The whole back seat of his vehicle was loaded down with explosives and Joker was trigger happy! Driving to Arkham with the Joker had been an experience. 

Frost pulled the SUV off the main road, taking a service road that ran alongside the asylum. It had grown quite dark, clouds obscuring the moon and stars giving the whole evening an eerie feel. Joker bounced in his seat, the bat for Harley in his lap with a bouquet of blood red roses surrounding it. Joker had spent that few remaining days leading up to this evening carving on the bat. Not only had he put the odd version of the lullaby on the bat for Harley, but he had carved little love notes on it and tiny, bloody hearts. The whole thing had made Frost uneasy. He was fairly sure the Joker was actually in love, though he had never out and out said it. He had called this Harley woman his other half, his little pumpkin and a whole list of other pets names, but he had never said to Frost that he loved her. Frost figured that was not something the boss would ever admit, but it was clear from Joker's behavior...the man had it bad. 

Once they were on the far side of the asylum, Frost could see that there were several other vehicles waiting in the shadows of the trees that surrounded the building...the gang. Joker had sent them there to wait. The gang had gathered slowly over the course of the day, preparing for tonight. 

They were parking their vehicles far enough apart so as not to draw attention and had been arriving hours between each other. It was a risk, since they could easily be caught at any time, or since the kind of men who usually worked for Joker were unstable; they could have become bored and gotten themselves caught that way too. But surprisingly, as far as Frost was concerned, they had done their part without incident. 

Arriving slowly had also allowed Joker to determine how good the asylum's outside security was and if there were any cameras on the grounds around the asylum that had not been listed or accounted for in the blueprints. 

If none of them got arrested for trespassing or a warning from the asylum's rent-a-cop guards, then there was a good chance they could set up their little escape attempt easily and have the cars waiting for their getaway...except for Joker's escape. He planned on going through the front gate...that was the main bulk of Frost's part in this breakout—to stick with Joker and get him and his girl out through the asylum's front gates. Why it had to be the front gates Frost didn't ask...there probably wasn't any reason except one that the Joker knew about. 

But right now they had to break in first. In one of cars that had been waiting, there sat a little man with a gun to his head. He was the computer nerd that Joker had kidnapped to help with writing his “Joker” computer virus. The little guy was now waiting to download that same virus into the asylum's computers just before Joker discharged his explosives. The computer geek sat with a laptop on his knees, trembling in one of the vehicles. 

Except for the computer tech and his body guard, the rest of the men exited the cars to stand ready to run into the asylum the moment the explosion opened a doorway in the side of the building. 

* 

Joker jumped out of the car with excitement. He was dressed in a tuxedo, his hair slicked back and his favorite flower pinned to his label. He giggled as he walked around to the back of Frost's SUV and proceeded to unload the explosives. Frost came around to help him though he let the boss do most of the work. Joker knew what he was doing when it came to highly unstable explosive devices...a little scary, but true. 

Joker set the bat and roses gift for Harley aside and got down to the business of blowing up a wall. He placed the explosives carefully, following a pattern that would give him the most bang for his buck as well as opening a hole large enough for him and his men to get through. 

After about ten minutes of setting them up, making some adjustments to positions here and there, Joker stood back with a broad grin. “Just perfect...” Joker murmured. He glanced sideways at Frost. “This is my favorite part.” He giggled. 

Frost nodded. He had been standing behind Joker with the flashlight while his boss worked. 

Now Frost turned and clicked the light in a rapid pattern signaling the men to be ready. That was also the signal for the virus to be let loose into Arkham's computer system. 

Then with a huge grin, Joker put his fingers in his ears, the detonator in hand and yelled “FIRE IN THE HOLE!!” 

Joker just stood there watching with a maniacal grin as the bombs went off. Frost rushed to throw himself behind the SUV. He glanced up over the hood to see Joker standing there unmoving as the bombs exploded, sending a heated wave of air and concussive force flowing out that would have knocked most men off their feet...but not Joker. He just stood there with his fingers in his ears laughing, the explosion causing the tails of his dinner jacket to flutter behind him. 

* 

Harley sat up straight when she heard a soft click and her cell door swung open. She frowned in confusion. Riddler sat up immediately getting to his feet and pushing on the door of his cell. It did indeed swing open. Riddler stuck his head out looking up and down the hall. No sooner had he done that than there was the sound of an explosion, the vibration of which whooshed through the cell block knocking guards, orderlies and patients to the floor. 

Harley was thrown off her bed, slamming against the floor. She folded herself up into a tight fetal position when she hit. Suddenly, alarms were going off everywhere and the sprinklers came on overhead. Harley's hearing was muffled as she stumbled to her feet and she felt slightly dizzy. Smoke billowed down the hall and she could see guards, nurses, orderlies and inmates flooding the halls trying to figure out what was happening. 

Harley stumbled to her cell door looking out with a slow smile forming across her face. 

He was here! Joker had finally come to get her!! 

Harley pushed her way out of her cell and started to take off toward where the explosion seemed to have occurred. She was stumbling through the heavy dust, pushing past people who were running past her or where guards were fighting to supress patients whose sudden freedom inspired uprising and rebellion, when she was suddenly grabbed from behind. She was spun around, her hands immediately coming up into fists, but it was the Riddler. He smiled at her handing her a gun he had clearly taken off one of the guards. He grinned. “You are Dr. Harleen Quinzel. Everything they told you was a lie...and tell Joker I gave you the gun.” Then he pushed her forward and turned, disappearing into the smoke and dust. 

Harley grinned. She was who she had thought she was....but now none of that mattered. What mattered was that Joker had come for her and she had to find him! 

* 

Joker strolled in like he was in the park on a Sunday having a lovely walk, his purple and gold trimmed gun in one hand, his bouquet of roses and the baseball bat in the other. He drew his pistol and casually shot anyone not part of his gang...right now that only vaguely mattered to him, since he needed them to keep the guards off him and Frost, at least until they found Harley. 

Joker stood for a moment looking around trying to get his bearings until he spied a sign through the dust, partly burned, but the arrow was clear and half the lettering still legible. 

“Patients wing! Right this way, Frost!” 

Joker laughed and set off at a brisk pace. Frost looked over from where he had just shot two guards to see Joker disappearing into the dust and smoke. With a vivid curse, Frost took off at a run after Joker. 

* 

Harley was racing toward the sounds of fighting. Her puddin had to be there!! She saw a figure step out of the dust, Sam, a guard she thought. She aimed the weapon that Riddler had given her, a standard M-16A2 rifle that all the guards here in Arkham Asylum carried during trouble and she fired. She fired several rounds into his torso before he fell. Harley didn't give him another look, running past the dead guard. Finally over the sounds of weapons fire and screams, she heard a voice she thought she would never hear again. “HARLEY!!” 

Joker... 

* 

Joker stopped and casually reloaded his weapon while Frost protected his back. At just that moment Frost saw a figure moving out of the haze and over a pile of debris. He pulled his weapon around just as Joker finished loading his. Frost was about to fire when Joker grabbed his shoulder, his voice low and rough, not his usual tone. “Stop Frost!” Frost froze only because it was rare that Joker ever used his name, but the tone of Joker's voice told him he was closer to dying at that moment than he had ever been before, because a young woman emerged from the dusty haze. 

She was slender, tiny really, much shorter than him and the Boss. Her long blonde hair hung around her heart-shaped face, her blue eyes very round in her pale face. She looked like someone who had been to hell and back, but when she saw Joker her face completely transformed. 

* 

“PUDDIN!!” Harley couldn't believe her eyes. He was here! He came for her just like she knew he would...he was alive...he was here...she raced to him. 

Joker laughed dropping everything and catching her in his embrace. 

The two of them held on to each other, Joker swinging her around before he set her back on her feet and kissed her. He dipped her back, his mouth hungry for hers. Harley wrapped her arms so tightly around him it was a wonder that he could breathe. Frost watched their backs while they kissed. 

Harley pulled back from the kiss, tears running down her face. “You came for me and you dressed up so nice too!” 

Joker smiled wiping her tears away with his thumbs. With him here, in her arms and with his arms around her, she felt whole again. 

“Of course I came for you. Look I even brought you a present!” 

He kept an arm around her waist and leaned down to pick up the flowers and bat. Harley squealed throwing her arms around him once again. “I love it!!” 

She kissed him long and hard. Joker wrapped his arms around her lifting her off her feet when Frost hissed. “Boss, we need to get going if we are going to get out of here!” 

* 

Strange had been working at his computer when the explosion occurred. He had no idea what had caused it, but he had a few good guesses. He immediately grabbed the phone. He was not going to depend on only his men to take care of this...he had other “persons” at his disposal. His call went immediately to the desk of Commissioner Gordon. 

Gordon picked up the phone on the second ring. “Gordon here.” 

“This is Dr. Strange at Arkham. There has been an explosion! The patients are loose and we need help!” 

Gordon hissed. “On it; hold on until we get there.” 

“Thank you, Commissioner.” Strange hung up a smile creasing his face. 

Gordon would be sure to send the Batman.


	11. Said to myself that this affair never will go so well

Joker had a firm hold on Harley's hand, tugging her along with him as he headed toward the front of the asylum. Frost ran behind them, trying to keep up as well as trying to watch Joker's back. But Joker was moving fast and with the rest of the chaos going on around them, guards and patients fighting, alarms going off, someone had started a fire, smoke was everywhere along with the dust from the explosion, Frost was being tested in his ability to keep close to Joker and Harley. 

* 

They made it to the elevators on this level just as the doors opened letting out several armed guards, pouring from the elevator like a pack of roaches. Joker laughed taking a few pot shots with his pistol just as the doors had opened. The round tore through the guard's shin and out of his calf just as he stepped out, dropping him and tripping his fellow guards. Joker's laugh elevated from amused to maniacal as he aimed his pistol and he shot two more guards swiftly, head shots each, before he yanked Harley with him out of the way. 

He dove out of the way while the remaining guards started to fire their weapons. 

Joker yanked Harley with him, both of them laughing with delight. Joker spun and fired his weapon not really paying attention if he hit anyone. He flew around a corner grinning when he saw the doors labeled stairs. 

“Shall we take the stairs Harley-girl?” He gave her a wide grin. 

Harley laughed. “Sure thing puddin!” 

With a maniacal laugh, he kicked the door open, yanking his girl with him. They both were laughing hysterically while they ran down the stairs. Frost burst through the door a few seconds later. He was struggling to keep up with the two of them; they were moving so quickly! Even with Joker taking the time to kill a couple of guards, Frost was falling behind. 

Joker rammed his shoulder into another set of doors when they reached the next floor, exiting the stairwell and yanking Harley with him. They took a corner so quickly that Harley almost lost her footing while trying to keep her hand around Joker's. They came around the corner only to run into yet another group of guards. 

Joker and Harley did an almost perfectly executed cartoon slide and stop when Harley's eyes widened in recognition. This group of guards consisted of several who had dragged her to her “treatments.” They had hit her, dragged her and laughed at her pain. Her vision suddenly turned red...they had hurt her, laughed at her and called her crazy, over and over again. Harley yanked her hand out of Joker's surprising him as she dropped her roses, but held onto her bat. 

“WHERE IS STRANGE!!” She screamed as she ran at them. With her hair hanging around her face, bare foot in her asylum clothing, her blue eyes wild, shock won out over training; the guards didn't react quickly enough. 

* 

She moved so quickly, that no one realized what was happening until she was on them. She slid across the smooth floor with her bat up over her shoulder. Her bat swung around knocking one of them so hard across the side of the head that splatters of blood blossomed against the wall behind the guard resembling a Jackson Pollock painting. 

She moved like a dancer. Joker leaned against the wall, his arms folded across his chest, his pistol hanging idly from his hand as he watched her, a large smile across his face.  
Harley's lips were pulled back to reveal her teeth as she swung her bat with enough force to break noses, jaws, heads, arms and legs. One guard tried to aim his weapon at her, but Harley hissed and brought her bat down so hard and fast that his arm snapped like a twig. She spun on the balls of her bare feet bring her bat up in an underhand swing, hitting one man under his jaw, cracking his chin and shattering his teeth which exploded from his mouth like bloody confetti. Harley let the bat slide down so she was holding it at the very end of the handle. She spun on the balls of her feet letting the bat swing out, hitting two more guards, breaking their hands. One man tried to grab her from behind, but she dropped down too fast for him to catch her, ramming the handle of her bat behind her and smashing his kneecap with a sound like a plate crashing to the floor.

She laughed the whole while. 

She didn't stop with simply disarming them; blood flew everywhere as she smashed her bat into the heads of the guards once she had them down. While he watched his girl, Joker smiled thinking he had never seen anything as beautiful at watching Harley with that bat. Joker caught his bottom lip in his teeth thinking how he was going to fuck her silly when he got her back to the hideout because she was certainly exciting him. 

He giggled. 

After a minute or two the guards were down and not ever getting up again. Harley stood among them, her bat dripping blood, her clothing splattered with blood and brain matter. She growled, a sneer on her face as she looked around at what she had done. 

Joker started laughing and clapping. “Oh Harley baby, that was beautiful!! You are an artist!” Joker held his arms out wide for her. 

She took a deep breath then slowly started to smile, then laughed. After a second she squealed. “Puddin!!” She threw herself into his waiting arms. 

Joker hugged her close, kissing her blood splattered face. They shared a kiss that bordered on obscene with Joker turning her around and pressing her against the wall that was dripping with blood. Harley wrapped her legs around his waist, dropping her bat to run her blood-covered hands in his hair. 

Frost burst through the door at that moment stopping short when he saw the carnage left by Harley. He swallowed, but then he saw the two of them making out against the wall. Frost felt slightly nauseated, but luckily for him, it passed swiftly. 

Harley gave Joker's bottom lip a playful tug. “I wanna kill Dr. Strange puddin...for what he did to me. I wanna play with his head...” She giggled wickedly, her blue eyes shining with a slight twinkle of madness. 

Joker stroked her hair back from her beautiful face, wiping away some of the blood there. 

“We can't right now sweetness, but we can plan to come back okay? We'll make it a date!” 

He gave her a charming, endearing smile, rubbing his nose against hers. 

Harley pouted then nodded. “Alright puddin, as long as you promise we'll come back.” 

Joker lightly kissed her lips. “You know I can't deny you anything pumpkin. I promise.” 

Frost took a breath. “Ah Boss, we need to get moving.” 

Joker sighed putting Harley back on her feet. 

“Alright, let's go!” 

* 

Batman could see the asylum was on fire even though he was several miles away yet. He pressed his foot down harder on the fuel pedal and the batmobile leapt forward picking up speed, racing toward the chaos. 

Within just a few minutes, he had arrived and jumped out before the car skidded to a stop in front of the asylum. Even from here he hear could hear the sounds of weapons fire, screaming and the incessant sound of the alarms. 

With a grim set to his jaw, he rushed to the front gates and shoved his way into the asylum. 

* 

Joker hissed when they finally reached the floor which would lead them to the front of the asylum. From the evidence before them, it was clear Clayface was somewhere around this floor. Dead guards, doctors and nurses where littered everywhere, their bodies twisted and covered in what looked like mud. 

Joker snickered. “Aw...look at that—Clayface was so sweet. You would think we were walking down the aisle littered with bodies.” He took Harley's hand and kissed her knuckles. “Shall we?” 

Harley giggled. “I would love to!” 

They started to make their way down the hall when there were the sounds of fresh screaming. Within seconds of hearing the newest batch of screams, one of the patients, a man named Arthur Brown or The Gamemaster, came dashing toward them screaming. 

“THE BAT!! THE BAT!!” 

Joker's smile widened if possible. He looked between Harley, whose hand he squeezed, and Frost. 

“Oh, did this just get better or what?!” 

* 

Batman dodged, rolling across the floor coming up on his feet easily just in time to block a series of hits from Clayface. Clayface jad lengthened his arms extending his reach toward Batman when the crime-fighter had put some distance between them. 

Clayface chuckled, his voice like gravel rolling over rough stone. 

“Are ya scared Bats?” 

Batman sneered. “You could make this easy on yourself and simply stand down, let me put you back in your cell.” 

Clayface laughed. “Right, like I want to go back to shock therapy, injections and whatever else Strange thinks might “help” me. No thanks, Batboy.” 

Batman pulling out his stun gun and fired a few rounds in the hopes that maybe he could stun Clayface, but as expected, they had no affect on the giant walking mud cake. 

Batman rolled out of reach, coming up in a crouch and spun around yanking out and firing his batcalw into Clayface's torso. 

Clayface smirked, forming one arm into a heavy mace and the other into a crude hammer. 

“And what exactly was that supposed to do Batman?” The shape shifting villain raised his arms threateningly as Batman grinned and yanked backwards with all his strength. 

Clayface wasn't prepared and he immediately lost his balance. With a startled cry he went down hitting the floor with an earth shattering crash that broke the tiles underneath him. 

Batman jumped to his feet closing the distance between them. He leapt onto Clayface pulling something from his utility belt at the same time, before shoving his hand into Clayface. 

Clayface laughed as goo stared to form around Batman's hand spreading up his arm at a rapid pace. But then there was a sound like a small concussive force going off, though muffled. Clayface's expression was the same as someone who had just realized they had eaten something that they probably should not have...Ice started to form along and around where Batman's arm was embedded in the gluttonous bad guy. 

Batman was able to quickly yank his arm free as the ice began to spread more rapidly, pushing himself off of Clayface. The freezing gel he had used was a special design of his own making. It would “freeze” Clayface in place, but he would otherwise not be harmed; it would keep him out of the action while Batman helped get Arkham back under control. 

He was just about to take off toward the sounds of more fighting when he heard laughter. Batman went still...he knew that voice almost as well as he knew his own. Batman turned to see Joker standing at the end of the hall. Bruce recognized Frost, the Joker's right hand man, but the woman whose hand Joker was holding he did not recognize at all. 

“Well, hey Batsy! I didn't know you were invited to our little party, but hey!” 

Joker motioned to the woman whose hand he was holding 

“Bats my dear, let me introduce you to my lady love Harley Quinn!!” Joker beamed. 

“Harley, this is my first love, the Batman...” Joker giggled. 

Harley frowned. “I hate him already.” 

Joker chuckled giving Batman an apologetic look and sigh. 

“Why is it everything I love is either unhealthy, addicting or has multiple restraining orders against me? Well, in your case Bats, multiple fractures on numerous occasions...sometimes love hurts. But really Bats, we are going to have to reevaluate our relationship. I mean, I have a girlfriend now. May have to start including her in our boys' nights out...you know how it is.” 

Joker smiled brightly, tugging Harley against him, an arm going around her waist. He gazed into her eyes causing Harley to sigh happily returning his gaze just before Joker dipped her back into a passionate kiss, his tongue stroked hers in a kiss that promised so much more. 

Joker pulled away from Harley, which made her whimper, though he kept his arm around her waist. He smiled at Batman. 

“Jealous? You are just going to have to share me now Batsy!” 

He laughed kissing the tip of Harley's nose. Harley made a face at Batman. 

“I don't like sharing!” Harley pouted, making Joker laugh. “Oh Bats I'm afraid we may have to call off our love affair!” 

Batman frowned in confusion. “Did you do this Joker, for her?” 

“I would do a lot more for her, too...just you watch Bats.” 

Joker's expression became deadly serious. 

With that Joker winked at Batman bringing his weapon up and fired. Batman swung his cape around letting the reinforced material take the impact of the bullets. When he stood up again, Joker and the woman were gone. 

Batman frowned. Who was she? Not a criminal that he knew about, but she had to be dangerous if she was being kept here in Arkham...odd...he knew every patient held behind these walls. With a shake of his head Batman took off after Joker. He hit his comlink on his left forearm as he did so. 

“Alfred I need you to look someone up.” 

Alfred's voice came through the comlink. “I live to serve, Master Bruce.” 

Batman couldn't keep the smile from dancing across his lips. Alfred and his sarcasm always made him smile. 

“I want a list of recent patients brought into Arkham, females only.” Bruce narrowed his eyes as he saw a pocket of fighting up ahead. 

“Looking for a date sir?” 

Batman laughed, more of a grunt, but Alfred knew what it was. “Funny Alfred. It seems that Joker is the one with a date. He's the one who broke into Arkham.” 

“I thought we had heard he had escaped a while back sir? Why on earth would he break into Arkham?” 

Alfred sounded just as confused as Bruce was. 

“I just ran into him and he had a woman with him.” Batman avoided hitting one of the guards, just barely. 

He could hear the frown in Alfred's voice. “A woman, hostage?” 

“No, he was here for her. Joker broke her out.” Bruce grunted as he twisted around, letting his attacker run past him before slamming the back of his forearm into an inmate who tried to rush him. 

“The Joker broke into Arkham Asylum to retrieve a woman? I wasn't aware that madman had a heart.” Alfred sounded incredulous. 

Bruce dropped down under an inmate's ill aimed swing. Bruce brought the flat of his hand upward, slamming the man's teeth together and shattering his teeth. 

“He broke in here for this one and I want to know why and who she is,” Bruce hissed. 

“I'm on it, Master Bruce.” 

* 

Joker hissed in annoyance when he ran out of ammo. He slipped his weapon into the holster under his arm, aggravated. Harley shot past him, running at two doctors who were trying their best to get away from her. Joker laughed watching his Harley using her bat, aiming for the back of their heads and screaming “FORE!!” at the top of her lungs just before she struck them. 

Frost ran up beside Joker, panting. “Boss, we're almost to the front doors. You sure that car is going to be there?” 

Joker smiled. “Yes. And now that I know Harley hates him, taking his car is even funnier!!” Joker started to laugh just thinking about it. 

Frost sighed. He had found out just a few seconds ago that Joker's reason for going out the front of the asylum was that he wanted to steal Dr. Strange's car...Frost wanted to plead that they should head out the way they had come in...that they should have had a getaway car ready, but he knew it was pointless. Joker had gotten it in his head that taking Strange's vehicle as the get away car was funny. And if it was funny, then that was what they were going to do. 

Joker grabbed Frost by the upper arm. “Go, get the car ready and I'll get my little pumpkin away from those guys...though she is having so much fun. I hate to stop her.” Joker sighed with regret. 

Frost nodded. “On it Boss.” 

* 

It only took a little effort to get out the front doors of the asylum, but once he was out near the front parking area, Frost groaned throwing himself back into the shadows. There were cop cars everywhere!! Frost narrowed his eyes studying the new situation. There were at least ten cop cars, but he could tell that there were only maybe a handful of uniformed officers out here...five? He wasn't completely sure, but fairly confident that a small force had been left out here, the rest inside. Frost smiled. He could take out five. He took a deep breath, hoping he was right about the number out here and rolled out of the shadows. 

* 

Joker and Harley burst out the front doors just as Frost shot the last officer. Joker applauded. “Perfect! Let's go!” Joker grabbed Harley's hand again making her laugh as they raced after Frost. 

Frost knew which car was Strange's, though he had only learned that about ten minutes ago when Joker decided to tell him. Sitting in the parking lot, the overhead lights of the parking lot making it glow was a Lexus RX so new that the dealer issued tags were still on it. 

Frost smashed the side window out to open the door and jumped in hitting the locks for Joker and Harley to get in. The car alarm was going off, but while Frost swiftly did something to get the car started Joker rammed his fist into the console until the alarm stopped. 

Just as Frost squealed the tires backing out, Joker saw Batman burst through the front doors of the asylum. Joker started to laugh manically. “Frost, give me your gun!” 

Frost tossed it as he spun the car around. Joker leaned out the window and started taking shots at Batman. 

“Bye bye, Batsy!!!” 

He yelled laughing and waved with his other hand while Frost raced the car toward the gates of the asylum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how you would really steal a Lexus, so just pretend you don't know either. :)


	12. I Got You Under My Skin

Batman slammed his foot down on the fuel pedal, causing the Batmobile to leap forward speeding after Joker. He narrowed his eyes, noting that they had a good head start, but he was confident he could catch up. His comlink went off. 

“Sir, I have found no record of a Harley Quinn even existing prior to her stay in Arkham, but I did find something interesting. There was a Dr. Harleen Quinzel who disappeared. I mean...there is a record of her being a doctor at Arkham, but then it's as if she vanished. I thought it of note because of the similarity in names sir.” 

Batman frowned. “Vanished?” 

“Yes, Master Bruce. There is still a record of her renting an apartment, but I can find nowhere where she has received checks from work and there is no account of her working at Arkham after the Joker's latest escape.” Pennyworth sounded perplexed. 

“What about Harley Quinn?” 

“There is no record of her until recently, but even that is strange sir; there is nothing stating when she was brought in, by who, or for what reason. On her charts, she is listed as a delusional psychopath, but there are no crimes attached to that name and there is no record of her in association with the Joker,” Pennyworth said with a tone that indicated he was slightly mystified. 

Batman muttered more to himself than to Alfred. 

“There must be a link between the two women and the Joker. He went to a lot of trouble to get her out of Arkham, more trouble than I would have expected for a single person. Joker is not known for having any close ties.” 

“I'll keep digging sir.” 

“Thank you, Alfred.” 

Batman saw the rear lights of the Lexus turn a corner. The Dark Knight increased his speed; he needed to catch up, not just to stop Joker, but to get that woman Harley Quinn away from him. Who knew how long she would stay alive before Joker thought she wasn't any fun anymore. 

* 

Joker dropped back in his seat laughing hysterically. “That was so much fun!! How ya doing pooh?” 

Joker turned around to see Harley giggling in the backseat. She squealed throwing her arms around Joker which made it very difficult for Frost to drive. Especially when the two of them started to make out. Harley had her arms wrapped around Joker's neck, heatedly kissing him. Frost eye's bugged for a moment. It was weird seeing his Boss with a woman. In all the years he had been working with the Boss, he had never seen the Clown Prince of Crime with anyone. Frost had thought maybe his Boss didn't really care about that...but now he saw it was just that Joker had never found anyone that did it for him like this woman apparently did. 

* 

Joker crawled into the back seat, bumping Frost before he dropped down next to Harley with a loud. “WHOOP!” 

He landed on a laughing Harley who squealed and wrapped herself around him. She laid back, pulling him down on top of her kissing him savagely. 

“I want you now!” she growled. 

Joker laughed. “We might cause Frost to go blind sweetie.” 

Harley pouted. “It's been forever!! Puddin! Please! Now!” 

Frost kept his eyes forward concentrating on driving. 

Joker licked her neck. “Hmmm...my little minx...you were so beautiful killing those guards....” 

He bit her neck sucking and rubbing himself against her. 

Harley groaned. “Oh Puddin!! 

She struggled with him on top of her, the small amount of space in the backseat made it extra difficult for her to push her sweatpants down and out of the way. 

Joker lifted himself up on both arms, in order to let her kick her legs out of the pants, then her fingers were working at the button and zipper of his slacks, struggling to get them open. 

When she finally got his slacks open, she stuck her hand in his pants and squeezed. Joker's eyes rolled eliciting a low groan. “Mmm...Harley.” 

“I need you right now...” she moaned softly, despite the speeding car and knowing they were being chased, she thought she would burn alive if he didn't take her right this minute. 

“Yes Harley...” His voice was warm and seductive, making her need for him more acute. She pushed his pants down his hips until she could more easily grasp his warm erection in her hands. 

“Uhh Harley!” he hissed. 

He moaned while she gave him a few long strokes with her hand, smiling at how hard he was already, warm and silky in her grasp. He drove her nuts! 

Harley hissed. “Get on your back puddin.” 

Joker laughed at her tone of command and need. It was adorable! But he did as she demanded The two of them moved in the small space while the vehicle was racing down the road the bouncing of the car making it only slightly more difficult. Harley pulled her panties aside grabbed his erection so she could slide herself down on him. 

* 

Frost glanced in the rear view mirror, then quickly away. Wow he thought, they are really doing it back there! He glanced at Harley's face and swallowed...keep your eyes forward Frost. On the positive side he didn't see Batman yet. Maybe they got away? 

* 

Harley planted her hands on the roof of the car, one leg beside Joker's hips on the seat, the other down on the floor. She started to undulate her hips, hard and fast, fucking him as if this was their last night on earth together. Joker groaned, snaking his hands up her torso, pushing the t-shirt up, his fingers yanking her sports bra up, so he could run his hands over her breasts. He squeezed, rotating his thumbs over her nipples, eliciting a hiss of pleasure from Harley. 

Harley continued to press her fingers into the roof, groaning loudly while she ground him into the seat. Joker thrust a little in response, but he was pretty much reduced to letting her have her way with him. He snarled watching her. She was glorious, covered in blood and soot, the lights from the car chasing them danced over her skin. She was a goddess of death and she was his! 

Joker groaned with pleasure; she was fucking him, taking him, using him, and he found himself loving every minute of it. 

Harley threw her head back crying out a loud orgasm that rippled through her body, but she didn't stop grinding her hips—instead she drove down harder on him, her breath coming in pants. She worked toward another orgasm, casting her eyes down to gaze at him. The blue seemed to glow when the headlights of the Batmobile hit her irises. Joker hissed thrusting upward while he pinched and rolled her nipples, grinding his teeth to hold back his own climax. He wanted to make sure she had her fill first...despite Batman chasing them. 

She dropped her hands down to grab the windowsill over his head, her breasts in his face. Joker dug his fingers into her sides, his tongue sinuously licking at her nipples. 

Harley arched her back in a sensual curve, moaning. “Oh puddin...oh yes...” 

* 

Frost squirmed a little. They were both certainly loud back there. He had made the mistake of adjusting the rear view in time to see Joker licking her breasts then quickly shoved it back up. 

He swallowed, glancing in the rear view window when he saw the Batmobile seem to materialize out of the darkness much closer then he had been just a moment ago. 

“Shit Boss. Batman is right behind us!” Frost hissed. 

Joker groaned, his voice caught between moaning and giving an order. 

“Just lose him Frost! Oh god, YES! Fuck me Harley!!” 

Frost cursed under his breath looking for a turn. But so far they had to remain on the main road; out here there were no places to turn yet. The Batmobile was coming up fast when Frost finally saw a turn. He yanked the wheel to the right throwing Joker and Harley up against the back seat, but neither of them seemed to care as Harley let out another deep cry of pleasure. 

Joker groaned arching into her. She was so hot, so wet, he just couldn't stop himself any more, couldn't hold back from her. She squeezed him one more time and he gave in with a shuddering cry of “HARLS!” 

His long fingers grasped her hips and he thrust up into her hard as she pressed down meeting his thrusts and groaned, “Yes puddin, oh yes, come for me...” 

* 

Frost took another turn frowning. Wait, this looked familiar...he was sure he had been here before, but the Batmobile was hot on his tail. He could stop to think about it later. 

* 

Joker's eyes rolled, a bright smile on his laughing face while the car bounced along. Clearly they were now on a rarely used road. “Is Batsy still behind us pooh?” 

Harley grinned down at him squeezing him with her inner muscles once which made him jerk. She looked out the back window while she pulled her bra and shirt back into place, her voice dropping to a pout. “Yes! He's still behind us.” 

Joker sat up pulling her against him with one arm looking for himself. 

“He really doesn't take rejection well does he?” Joker mused. 

The two of them shifted around so Joker could re-button and zip his pants while Harley twisted around to get her sweatpants back on. Joker looked out the window again when suddenly something shot from the Batmobile. 

Whatever it was that had shot out hit the back of the Lexus hard enough that it sent the car spinning out of control, dropping Joker and Harley almost to the floor. Frost held on to the wheel for all he was worth, but whatever Batman had hit them with, was yanking the car backwards. Frost struggled, twisting the wheel one way then the other while flooring the pedal, but the vehicle was going out of his control. 

Up ahead was something large, the shadows revealing themselves to be a series of buildings emerging out of the darkness. Frost could see the outside security lights and for a brief moment he saw the chain-link fence come into view just before he crashed the Lexus through it. Frost was losing the fight for control, speeding right toward the building. 

Joker leaned out the backseat window firing a few shots at the Batmobile snarling. 

“Can't a guy have some private time with his girl??!” 

Harley's eyes widened in panic when she saw they were going to crash. She reached for Joker grabbing him, yelling. “PUDDIN!!” 

Joker was laughing while Harley tried to tug him back into the car. 

“SHIT!” Frost threw his arms up to shield his face at the moment the Lexus rammed straight into the building. 

* 

Batman hissed trying to haul the grappling hook back in order to pull the Lexus back, but they were going just too fast and he had fired the hook too late to save them from what was about to happen. He had to disengage the hook or be yanked into the back of the car! He threw the steering wheel to the side, the Batmobile skidding along the gravel, flinging up rocks that pelted the other car. He just barely missed hitting the Lexus before the Batmobile slid to a stop. Batman leapt out of his armored vehicle to land in a crouch before hurrying over the to the now smoking Lexus. He pulled the doors open. 

Joker and the woman were gone, though he could see some blood in the back seat. In the front, the driver was slumped over the wheel, but it looked as if the air bag had deployed. The man was bleeding from a large slash across his forehead, but when Batman leaned in and checked his pulse it was beating strong. 

Batman took a minute to pull the man out, laying him gently next to the Batmobile. Wayne pulled out his cuffs and secured the man to the back of his vehicle, checking him once more, to make sure there were not any other serious injuries. 

As he stood up, he hit the comlink on his wrist, calling 911 to the area. Batman looked up, his brow furrowing. He knew this place...it was a long time ago, but he had been here on a night not too dissimilar to this, chasing the Red Hood. 

Batman frowned, muttering to himself. “They must be in there. Judging by the blood one of them is injured.” He closed his eyes for a second before he headed inside after them. 

* 

Joker was limping. The crash had sent him flying out of the car's window where he had hit the gravel and rolled, twisting his ankle and slicing his leg on the car's broken window glass at the moment it shattered leaving a long nasty cut in his calf though he barely seemed to acknowledge it. 

Harley had her arm around his waist, her bat dangling from one hand as they moved deeper into the factory. 

The smell was harsh and acrid, making Harley's eyes water a little. Joker chuckled as they moved deeper into the building's shadows, looking for a good place to hide or ambush Batman. Harley assumed they would be ambushing that damn Bat...he would find them if they hid and she was not going back to Arkham. 

Joker giggled. “I thought this place looked familiar.” He smiled as if having a pleasant memory. 

Harley glanced sideways at him. “Puddin?” 

He laughed. “This was where I was born, my darling Harley. Where I was created anew! My rebirth so to speak.” 

He waved his free arm out to indicate the large open containers below them. Harley looked down to see each of them contained what looked like a strange yellowish liquid, steam slowly rising into the dim light of the factory. Joker smiled. “There I was given birth to become what I am now.” 

Harley stared down into the liquid below, watching it move. It was almost hypnotic. That was when they both heard a creak on the catwalk behind them. 

Joker moved. “Come along, let's see if we can't surprise my pretty little Bat.” 

* 

Batman moved as quietly as possible, listening for any sounds to indicate where they might be, but all he heard was the sound of the liquid below him. He narrowed his eyes. He knew they had to be close, the blood droplets on the grate under his feet indicated Joker and Quinn had come this way. He slowly looked around before taking another few steps out to the middle of the walkway. He knew this had to be a trap, but he needed to lure them out. He wasn't sure which or if both, were hurt and needed emergency care, but he needed to get them both back to Arkham. And he needed to know who this woman was that Joker had broken into Arkham to retrieve...what did she mean to the Joker, why was she so important and was she, as he suspected, Dr. Harleen Quinzel. If she was...what happened? 

He stood there looking around him when he heard and felt the sound of something hitting his shoulder. Batman reached over touching the spot, and examined his gloved fingers; they were stained red. 

It was at that moment that Joker dropped out of the darkness onto Batman's back, a blade in his hand. Joker wrapped himself around Batman's back. 

“Hello sweetheart! Miss me?!” 

Batman twisted around trying to get a hold of Joker with one hand, while the other held Joker's wrist, trying to keep the blade from his face and neck. 

That was the moment Harley came racing out from the other end of the ramp, her bat drawn back and a manic grin on her face. Batman turned just in time to bring his armored arm up, taking the jarring impact of the bat on his forearm. 

He hissed in pain yanking his arm away and kicking out, slamming his booted foot into Harley's chest, knocking her back on her rear. Harley let out a scream of frustration, snapping up to her feet while Batman struggled with a crazily laughing Joker, who had managed to get a few stabs in, making thin cuts on Batman's cheek and chin. From the way the woman moved, it was clear to Batman that she had some acrobatic skill. That was fine; he had fought more opponents than this before. 

The Dark Knight slammed back against the rail, one, two, three times, slamming Joker's lower back into the metal rail. Joker's leg was bleeding, blood dripping down and sliding off Batman's suit and dripping into the chemicals below while he and Batman struggled. Somehow Joker managed to remain attached to Batman's back. 

Harley got to her feet with a scream, running barefoot across the grate, her bat held ready for a deadly swing. Batman dropped backwards onto the walkway, knocking the air out of Joker and loosening Joker's grip on him enough to flip himself back to his feet just as Harley came close and with a deadly under handed swing, brought her bat up to hit 

Batman under the chin, forcing his head backwards. 

Batman stumbled away from Harley, blood running down his chin. 

Joker laughed. “That's my girl!!” 

Joker grabbed Batman, spinning him around, his knife held tight in his other hand. Batman was slightly stunned from the hit, but even stunned, he was ready for Joker. When the knife came down, Batman grabbed Joker by his wrist and with as much strength as he could muster, Batman shoved Joker away from him. 

Joker stumbled backwards hitting the rail. The Bat's greater strength and Joker's imbalance from his wounded leg combined to send him over the rail. 

Batman snarled, “NO!” 

He reached out for the Joker, but the clown slashed the blade at him with a laugh. The knife actually cut through the glove of Batman's uniform and caused Batman to miss. 

Joker went over the side and down into the large container of roiling chemicals. 

Harley screamed, dropping her bat and leaning over the edge as far as she could. “PUDDIN!!” 

But Joker didn't come up. 

Harley stared her, blue eyes wide as her whole body started to tremble uncontrollably and her knuckles turned white where she gripped the railing. Her voice dropped to a pained whisper when he still didn't come up. “Puddin...” 

Batman walked over toward her speaking softly. “Dr. Harleen Quinzel?” 

She turned, her blue eyes flashing with hate. “You killed him!!! YOU KILLED HIM!!” 

She threw herself at him, catching Batman by surprise, her fists beating against his chest while she screaming. “YOU KILLED HIM!!! I HATE YOU!!!!” 

He grabbed her wrists, pulled her off of him and held her out away from him. 

“Dr. Quinzel, please listen to me, let me help you.” 

Harley's eyes were wild as she snarled. “Harleen is dead!!! I'm Harley Quinn!!” 

She yanked her hands free. Batman let her go, intending to dose her with a simple sedative shot from his utility belt, but before he could stop her, Harley moved swiftly leaping onto the railing. She wobbled for a moment. 

Batman stepped forward. “Please, Dr. Quinzel! Calm down!” 

She turned to glare at him. “I will be with him any way I can, in life or in death.” 

Then she jumped.


	13. Makes Me Stop Before I Begin

When Harley hit the liquid in the tank below, the first thing she felt was pain, her whole body burned. It was like liquid fire racing over her skin, as if her skin was bring stripped off layer by layer. She screamed and some of the chemicals entered her lungs, burning her on the inside. She struggled to keep her eyes open, she needed to find him, find her Joker, but she was consumed by blinding pain. 

She sank deeper, struggling to find him, her heart hammering in her chest. The thought that she had lost him, after all she had been through...all they had both been through...finally being reunited, hurt more than the pain of the acid stripping her skin. 

She didn't care right now...if she died...she only cared so far as what her life would be like without him. She loved him, truly, completely, deeply for all he was. She didn't care that he was a criminal, a killer, a sociopath...she loved him as he was, and there could be no life after this that did not include him. She would die trying to save Joker rather than live without him... 

* 

Somewhere else in the darkness of Gotham. 

No one noticed when Bob wandered away from Arkham. Bob, despite his size, had a gift for being invisible...he could simply make himself unnoticeable. >p>During the chaos, Bob simply strolled through the doors and walked away. He wandered down the street, following the road away from Arkham. He made his way through the dark streets until finally, just as the first rays of light were starting to break over Gotham, Bob found himself at the Amusement Mile. 

Bob wandered deep into the amusement park. He seemed to know exactly where to go as he made his way to the Fun House. He walked inside, working his way through the dizzying rooms until he found the a hatch in the floor. Most people would not have noticed the portal, but Bob knew exactly where to look. 

This was one of many hideouts, but this was the one he knew that the Joker would return to and Bob planned on having it ready. 

* 

Batman searched the chemical plant for well over an hour, but he found no signs of the Joker or of Harleen Quinzel. He had called Alfred for blueprints of the place so he could find the most likely area that they would have come out, but all of it had ended with nothing. 

The only evidence he found was Joker's tux coat. The coat meant nothing really; there was no other evidence of the Joker and no sign at all of Dr. Quinzel, but Batman knew from experience that Joker was hard to kill...what worried him the most was Dr. Quinzel. 

He hadn't expected her reaction at all. It was...strange. He had thought she was under the Joker's influence, perhaps a hostage, but the way she reacted to Joker falling...he wasn't sure what it was...love, obsession? Someone in love with the Joker? And Joker...was he in love with her? Did he blow a hole in Arkham to get her because he thought it would be funny? 

Batman kept searching until he knew he had to give up. There was no sign of Dr. Quinzel, nothing to indicate that she was dead or alive. 

So his next step was to head to Gotham General Hospital and ask the driver of the getaway car a few questions. 

* 

Frost lay in his hospital bed with one wrist handcuffed to the bed's metal rail. He had a concussion and a few abrasions, but was otherwise whole. He was staring at the TV watching the reports on what had happened at Arkham, though there was no mention of the Joker or of Dr. Harleen Quinzel...or Harley Quinn or whoever she was. 

Frost closed his eyes for a moment—the pain meds were making him groggy. When he opened them again he jumped surprise. Batman stood at the foot of his bed staring daggers into him. 

“Oh my GOD!! What do you want?!” Frost shoved back against the pillows glaring at Batman. 

“I want to know what Joker did to Dr. Quinzel.” 

Frost frowned. “Who?” 

Batman stared at him until Frost started to squirm and then he spoke again. “Harley Quinn—who is she?” 

Frost frowned. “I don't know. Someone the boss met on the inside. All I know was that the boss wanted to get her out of Arkham.” 

“How long had she been there?” 

Frost frowned. “No idea.” 

“Why did Joker want her out?” Batman seemed to grow more menacing with the questions. 

Frost frowned. “Look Bats, I don't really know. All I do know is that the boss was a mess without her and all he was focused on from the time he got out of Arkham was going back and getting his broad.” 

Batman was quiet staring at Frost. 

Finally he spoke quietly. “Does he love her?” 

Frost looked uncomfortable. “Look man, I don't know. Joker was focused on getting her out and once we had her, I ain't never seen him act like that before...I don't know if he loves her, but he certainly...wants her.” 

Batman stared at Frost and then in a low voice he murmured. “I'll be back.” 

Frost started to say something, but one of his monitors beeped strangely, distracting him for a moment. When he looked back to speak to the vigilante, Batman was gone. 

* 

Joker hit the acid hard, but once he sunk into the caustic liquid, it was like a mother's embrace, warm and familiar. He couldn't help laughing about it, bubbles rising from his closed lips. Been here, done that...It was funny really. But then he had heard the other splash and seen the shadow hit the acid while he was sinking down into it. 

Joker felt something he had never felt before—panic. 

What was there ever to worry about? Dying? Pfft!! Who cared about that? If Batman or any of his little birds killed him, that would be the ultimate joke!! 

But here he was feeling panic for someone else and he hated it! Falling into the chemicals again hadn't been pleasant, but it had really been nothing to worry about...but then 

Harley had jumped in after him. 

Joker felt a strange mix of emotions. 

Joker wasn't accustomed to feeling fear, concern, panic, worry...any of those things. Yes, he had felt pain, lust, joy and fucking hilarity at the ridiculousness of everything!! 

But when Harley's body hit the acid and he saw her sink, Joker had felt everyone of those feelings, weird negative feelings mixed with another one which he had just recently been playing with...love... 

If he was honest with himself, he was in love with Dr. Harleen Quinzel. Wait...scratch that...he was in love with what she had been and what she had become...Harley Quinn. 

He had to smile at the thought. What a fucking joke!! The Joker, in love!!! Talk about the world being a fucking riot!! Who would have thought?! 

Then another thought occurred to Joker while he watched Harley Quinn stop moving and start to sink to the bottom of the huge barrel of acid. 

Batman had found love and refused to accept it. “I work alone!” Always worried about getting someone else involved in his life. Joker just had to laugh!! Here he was in love and she wanted to be with him! As he was, insane! Even Batman hadn't found that; complete acceptance for the way he was. Rub that in your face Bats...Joker's grin was wide with glee. He had something Batman would never have...a real partner...someone who was his equal...his lover...his Harley Quinn. 

* 

Joker swam upward to grab Harley's body and yank her against him, wrapping an arm around her waist. 

There was a drain vent large enough for a damn whale to move through near the bottom of the large tank, pumping excess chemicals out into one of the rivers that flowed behind the plant. 

Talk about something Batman should be taking care of...the legal criminals that worked all over Gotham. Joker pushed that thought aside...something to play with later. Joker swam for the pipe's egress, now pulling an unconscious Harley with him. It was strange that he didn't just dump her and escape, but the idea of leaving her made him feel...empty. He decided not to examine that feeling any further. He needed Harley...for...reasons that didn't need to be examined at all. 

* 

Just when Joker was sure he was not going to be able to hold his breath any longer, he reached the end of the pipe and was washed out into the river. 

He broke the surface with a loud gasp of air and started to swim to the shore, dragging Harley's limp form with him. 

He pulled Harley to the water's edge, his hands under her shoulders as he dragged her out onto the foul smelling, muddy bank that was created by the chemical sludge emitted from the plant. Her hair was bleached white, as was her skin, giving her a ghostly appearance in the moonlight. Her hair covered her face in long wet strands, all the color stripped from her clothing just as Joker's clothes were... 

Joker checked her mouth, no breath, and no discernible pulse. He glared at her before he immediately started to perform CPR. 

He pressed on her chest, growling with a mix of anger and pain, then blew air into her lungs. He continued this back and forth, growling and cursing under his breath while he worked. He hated it, all of it...feeling...no, he would not focus on that...he needed his Harley...he needed her. She was not going to leave him!! He refused to let her leave him alone! Not when he had found someone to share his chaos with... 

He was starting to feel another emotion he didn't like...fear. 

Wait! That was two new ones, he realized. This is really turning into a sour evening, he thought to himself. 

He held on to a feeling he was used to, one he understood—rage. How dare she, after everything he went through to get her!! How dare she try to die!! How dare she!! He would not have it, there was going to be no dying tonight unless he was the cause of it! 

Joker snarled and slapped Harley hard across the face causing her unresponsive head to jerk to the side and lay there unmoving. 

“WAKE UP!! DAMN IT HARLEY! YOU ARE NOT DYING ON ME!! YOU BELONG TO ME!! I'LL TELL YOU WHEN YOU CAN DIE!” 

He hit her hard enough to leave a mark on her pale white skin, bright red, a burning brand of his hand on her face. He hit her again, and again. He was starting to lose control, the new feelings overwhelming him... 

Harley's eyes flew open. 

He immediately rolled to her side coughing and vomiting up fluid. The strange yellowish green acid burned through her throat as she coughed it up, taking deep, wheezing, burning breaths. 

Joker shook all over, his eyes wide as he watched her. She was alive...his queen was alive. He reached out slowly to her, his long, agile fingers trembling, but then he gathered her up, bending her over his thigh to pat her back. 

“That's it pumpkin, cough it all up.” Joker grinned, controlling his unnatural flare of emotions. 

He took a deep breath smiling brightly. “Out with the old, in with the new!” 

He giggled merrily. 

She finally pushed herself up, her hands squeezing into his thigh. She pushed herself upright weakly, turning to look at her Joker. He gazed at her, her blue eyes bright, almost glowing around her pale white skin. Her voice was hoarse; the mere act of speaking burned. 

“Puddin?” 

Joker pulled her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her holding her tightly. He didn't say a word, didn't tell her he was happy she was alive or how much she had scared him. He just held her and whispered. 

“Let's go home.” 

With that he picked her up into his arms and walked into the deepening darkness. 

* 

Keeping to the shadows, weaving his way through the back alleys of Gotham, Joker arrived at the Amusement Mile just after the sun had risen. When he walked through the entrance of the carnival, quiet and abandoned, Joker couldn't help the giggle that bubbled up. 

Home, finally. 

He made his way through the carnival heading to the fun house. He shifted her weight in his arms, which caused Harley to murmur in her sleep. Her head was nestled against his chest. He grinned while he made his way through the house of mirrors until he arrived at the secret entrance. 

Carefully shifting Harley's weight, and demonstrating his superior strength, Joker squatted down pulling open the hatch. 

* 

Joker had just dropped down, landing in a crouch with Harley in his arms looking around, a brow lifted in a quizzical expression. 

The hideout had been cleaned, the lights were on and standing in the middle of the whole thing was Bob. 

Bob grinned wide when he saw Joker. 

For a moment Joker just stared at him...then he started to laugh. 

“Bob my friend, you are like my own butler!! Bruce Wayne can kiss my ass!” 

* 

Harley didn't remember the walk to the amusement park. There were images that came to her mind, the smell of Joker's body next to her, still noticeable even through the caustic odor of the acid soaked into their clothes; the feel of his arms around her; her head resting on his chest; and the beat of his heart. It was so strange...she felt so different. She remembered her skin burning, the pain of being stripped and burned, but she felt renewed too. It was odd. Then she slept again, safe in her murderous lover's arms. 

* 

When she awoke again, she was lying in a bed, naked and covered in a thick quilt. She was lying on her back with the quilt up to her chin. Above her there were drawings of smiling faces and little happy faces drawn on flowers, though there were also several knives drawn and a few guns shooting hearts. Crayon spurts of blood were everywhere and 

“Hahahaha!” had been written in numerous places. There were even a few balloons taped to the the wall over her. Running along the ceiling and down the wall were playing cards, held in place with thumb tacks. 

Harley stared for a long time, a slow smile easing across her face. She giggled though her throat still burned. 

Her puddin had done these pictures and balloons for her! 

As she laid there gazing at the pictures, she raised her hand. The little light in the room showed her that her skin had been turned white...white like her Jokers skin. She turned her hand back and forth, marveling at the snow-white color. She reached down picking up a lock of her hair and examined it. Her hair was not green like Joker's, but white and the ends were now stained red and blue. She frowned, wondering why the color when her attention was distracted by voices. 

She heard Joker talking to someone. He was giving orders and then he laughed. Harley smiled. His laugh was the most beautiful sound to her. She rolled over onto her side, her heart hammering in her chest. 

That was when he walked through the door, her dark lover, her prince of crime...he was dressed in a purple pin-stripped suit, his green hair combed back, a bright orange shirt and a red and green striped tie over a black vest. He strolled into the room swinging his can. His smile was gorgeous and Harley started to giggle. 

Joker saw her awake and stopped. “Harley?” 

She smiled and Joker rushed over to her. Joker gathered her into his arms, tossing his cane aside. He tilted her back and kissed her. The kiss was hot, passionate, it made her forget every pain in her body, her whole focus on this kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck, their tongues caressing, burning as they both moaned softly. 

He pulled back to look at her. 

“I forbid you from ever doing that again.” He grinned. 

Harley nodded. “I promise puddin, never again.” 

Joker kissed her again with his red, red lips, a slow passionate kiss. Their tongues caressed, sensual strokes while his gloved hands glided down her naked body. 

Harley groaned. It didn't matter what she had been through...she needed him again. Needed to know she was indeed alive. Needed to love him.... 

* 

She started to tug at his clothing, reaching between them to work her still weak fingers at the tie around his neck. Joker grinned, whispering against her lips. 

“My little minx...” 

He took her hands pushing them down and started to loosen his tie. Harley watched; never in all her life had she seen anything more sexy than watching Joker undress for her. He tossed the tied aside and stood, smiling while he undid the button of his vest, slipping the vest and coat off, dropping them to the floor. 

His eyes were intense, the smile wicked while his fingers moved down the buttons of his dress shirt. 

Harley squirmed, heat pooling between her legs watching the striptease... 

She loved the way the lights danced along the whiteness of his chest, highlighting the lean muscles that traveled down his stomach. He started to unclasp the buckle of his pants and Harley realized her mouth was watering with anticipation. 

He shoved everything down, kicking his shoes and socks off. Harley squealed clapping her hands. Joker let out a long happy laugh as he crawled onto his beloved. 

Joker rubbed his nose against hers. 

“Swear to me...never again.” 

His voice was warm and seductive, she would have promised him anything at that moment, anything at all. 

“Never again puddin.” 

Joker licked her lips. “You will live for me.” 

“I will live for you,” she whispered back, her tongue brushing against his lips. 

“You will always be mine,” he hissed softly. 

“I will always be yours...” Harley groaned in response, her hands running down his sleek sides. 

Joker crushed his mouth against her, pressing his body down feeling all of her laying beneath him. Harley moaned into his mouth as her hands stroked down the curve of his spine until she came to his rear where she squeezed. His erection was hot against her; the position he was lying in had the head of his shaft pressed against her damp opening. 

The need for him was overpowering. If she hadn't been so weak from her ordeal, she would have taken him again, forcing him onto his back...but as it was, she was weak as a kitten. 

Joker cradled the back of her head, his fingers tangling in the thick white and colored strands. He pulled her hair back, exposing her long neck so that he could lick her, running his tongue along the full length of her neck. 

Harley groaned. “Oh yes...” 

Joker chuckled, holding her head back by her hair while he moved down to her creamy plump breasts. His tongue licked gradually over the hard nipples. He didn't want to rush. His Harley was alive...this was not like in the car which seemed weeks, maybe ever months ago. He wanted to enjoy each sound, every inch of her flesh...he wanted to hear each moan, each cry that she made when he touched her. 

He let go of her hair, dragging his fingertips down her neck. While he suckled one breast with his tongue and teeth, his fingers pinched the nipple of her other breast. Harley moaned, arching into his touch. She ran one hand up the back of his neck, her hips undulating as her center became moist, aching for his touch. Her voice was a soft, whiskey moan, her fingers moving through his thick hair in soft caresses. 

“Oh puddin...” 

Joker grinned, gently biting her nipples with his teeth just to listen to her gasps at the mix of pain and pleasure. He smiled while slinking down her body, his tongue tracing intricate patterns down her stomach. Her skin was so white that the urge to mark her was even stronger. 

He stopped at her hip and started to suck, wrapping one arm around her leg, pressing her thigh against his cheek. His free hand came to rest against her sex, his thumb idly stroking over her clitoris. The touch was tender, the caress of his thumb just hard enough to tease, but not enough to satisfy her. Harley groaned thrusting her hips toward his touch wanting more of his touch, wanting him to take her over the edge. 

He removed his thumb to replace it with his lips. His whispered against her hot wanting flesh.

“Beg me....beg me to touch you, Harley. Do you want me...” 

“Oh puddin!! Please, please I want you!” Harley groaned with need. 

He smiled with contentment. He had his Harley back; she was all his for now and forever. 

With that pleasant thought, he licked her giggling as he did so. 

The touch of his tongue was sweet, demanding, his lips tender. Harley groaned, her fingers flexing in his hair, her body completely his to do with as he wanted. She didn't care just as long as she was his. Her hips moved against his mouth, her breath coming in rapid pants of excitement. 

Joker hummed against her, murmuring a haunting poem, his tongue flicking out to tease, caress. She heard his words drifting up to her with each intimate kiss, each lick against her causing trembles of pleasure through her body. His voice was warm, seductive, teasing and caressing as he spoke, recited a poem against her sex: 

A stranger has come 

To share my room in the house not right in the head, 

A girl mad as birds 

Bolting the night of the door with her arm her plume. 

Strait in the mazed bed 

She deludes the heaven-proof house with entering clouds 

Yet she deludes with walking the nightmarish room, 

At large as the dead, 

Or rides the imagined oceans of the male wards. 

She has come possessed 

Who admits the delusive light through the bouncing wall, 

Possessed by the skies 

She sleeps in the narrow trough yet she walks the dust 

Yet raves at her will 

On the madhouse boards worn thin by my walking tears. 

And taken by light in her arms at long and dear last 

I may without fail 

Suffer the first vision that set fire to the stars. 

Harley came with a cry, her orgasm moving through her like a wave, warm and wet, causing her to become dizzy. Her hips continued to jerk against his mouth making Joker grin. 

“Oh puddin!!” she gasped 

With that, Joker rose over her, his eyes sparkled, his green hair a mess. He gazed down at her, that maniacal grin dancing across his face. 

He whispered. “My mad girl...mad as birds...” 

He guided himself against her, wetting the head of his shaft. She groaned, her blue eyes on him, watching him, wanting him, her body aching for him. 

“Oh Joker...take me puddin...take me now...” 

He giggled grinning as he glided into her body. Harley dug her fingers into his shoulders with a deep passionate groan. He rolled his hips, thrusting hard and deep into her, pressing his hips against her, fucking her slow, hard and deep. Harley arched into his thrusts wanting more. 

“Oh puddin...yes...” 

Joker growled, hissing through his clinched teeth. “Harley...” 

Harley pressed her teeth into her bottom lip. Joker watched her as her blue eyes burned into his through the half lidded, eyes framed in dark lashes. He fucked her while she watched him, her hands sliding down his shoulders dragging her nails along his skin. Joker bit his bottom lip, hissing with pleasure. Her milky skin pressed against his...he looked down to watch himself thrusting into her heat, the wet sound of his shaft in her body, the meeting of pale white flesh against equally pale flesh. His...all he could think about was that she was his...and he loved her. 

Harley gasped, shuddering with another orgasm, squeezing around him. Joker groaned. She felt so good. 

He jerked, feeling her flood over him. He came with a jolt, the pleasure she gave him rumbled through his body, blinding him for just a moment, making him weak in the knees, weak everywhere...his mad, mad, girl... 

Joker dropped onto her wrapping his arms tightly around her. He kissed her neck. 

* 

They lay curled together, Harley pressed up against him. Joker was stroking back her white hair smiling at the color that glowed on the ends. He grinned, kissing the ends of her hair. Harley looked up at him resting her chin on his chest. 

“I want to go back,” she murmured. 

Joker frowned looking down at her. “Go back, muffin?” 

She nuzzled closer. 

“I want to kill Strange for what he did to me.” 

Joker chuckled. “Revenge....” Then he laughed. “Maybe we can come up with something more fun than simply murder.” 

Harley grinned. “Like what?” 

Joker wrapped his arms closer around her and whispered. 

“How about we drive him mad like he tried to do to you?” 

Harley started laughing with her Joker joining her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Poem Joker recited is called : “Love in the Asylum” by Dylan Thomas


	14. ... that comes in the night

Two days later, after the “dust” had settled at Arkham, Batman arrived to speak with Dr. Strange. Through his own research, Batman had learned that Strange was in charge of most of the patients' treatments. Batman had hacked through the computer files until he found Dr. Harleen Quinzel's resume. The resume showed a successful woman, smart, well educated...but there was no termination of employment, nothing stating where she was, if or why she had quit...nothing. The file had been deleted too. It was as if Dr. Harleen Quinzel had just vanished. Or worse, someone wanted her to vanish. 

Batman also discovered that around the time that Dr. Quinzel disappeared, Harley Quinn popped into existence. As Batman read through Quinn's file, he was confused. There was little there, vague terms and vague diagnoses...really there was nothing in the file to qualify her incarceration at Arkham Asylum. He also found no connection between Dr. Harleen Quinzel, Harley Quinn and the Joker. 

That was when Batman decided to pay a visit to the asylum. 

* 

Strange rubbed his temples. The destruction caused by Joker and his “rescue” of Dr. Quinzel had not only destroyed a wall in the asylum, but at least half a dozen guards had been killed, a couple of patients' lives, and there were numerous injuries that would have to be paid for...the whole thing was a disaster. The only compensation was that he was fairly confident that Dr. Quinzel's personality was gone and Harley Quinn had taken her place. 

Strange smiled at that, wondering if he could write a paper about it when suddenly a shadow rose up out of a dark corner of his office. Strange turned to see the Batman standing in front of him. For the briefest of moments, Strange thought about the glamor of having Batman as a patient and whether he could capture him, but Strange was a man who knew what he could and couldn't get away with. Capturing the Batman was on his list of the things that, at the moment, he could not do. 

But there would come a point when Batman would be one of his patients. “And to what do I own this unique pleasure?” Strange retook his seat. He opened a drawer at his desk, noting that Batman did not react. Strange made a sour face. That meant either Batman already new about the bottle of whiskey and figured that was what Strange was going for, or the man was supremely confident that he didn't think anything Strange could do, even pulling a gun, was enough to scare him or stop him. Either way Strange thought it would be interesting to find out more. Strange set the bottle of whiskey down on the desk along with two shot glasses. 

“Care for some?” Strange smiled. 

Batman mouth became grimmer, if that were possible. “I want information, answers. Tell me about Dr. Quinzel.” Strange stiffened slightly at the mention of her name, but covered his reaction by pouring himself a drink and gazed at Batman through his dark, round glasses. “Dr. Harleen Quinzel was a former employee here at the asylum.” 

“What happened to her?” Batman had not physically moved, but he seemed to fill the space more. 

Strange paled. Anyone else would have missed it, but not Batman. He noticed everything. 

Strange took another sip of his drink. “She left us. I assumed for a man or a better position.” 

“And who is Harley Quinn?” Batman's voice was low, not threatening exactly, but it was clear he would not tolerate any delay. 

* 

Harley came bouncing down the stairs of the hideout. She was wearing a pair of cut-offs and a tiny white t-shirt that clung to her in the most enticing of ways. Joker grinned watching her. She was delightful. She squealed when she saw him sitting in a chair and Joker held his arms out wide in an invitation. She ran over to him jumping onto his lap and curling herself against him. Joker nuzzled her neck happily. “That's my girl,” he whispered against her alabaster skin. 

Harley giggled, his breath tickling. 

He kissed her neck then her lips smiling at her. 

“Mistah J? When are we going to go get Strange?” Her bottom lip came out and Joker chuckled stroking a finger along her lip. 

“Soon pooh bear, soon,” he assured her. “First, Frost is going to be released from the hospital. I need to snag him before they take him off to Blackgate.” 

Harley frowned, but then nodded. “Yeah, okay.” 

“Want to help me sweets?” Joker grinned that slightly sinister smile that told Harley whatever was going to happen was going to be fun! 

“Yes!” Harley giggled. 

“Good, but first, you need a costume sweetie. I mean those shorts look divine, but it doesn't really scream BAD GUY! You know? We have an image to maintain and this is Gotham after all.” Joker ran a hand under her shirt to stroke her pale stomach. Harley giggled enjoying the feel of his hand on her skin. “Hmm...a costume.” 

“Yes, something that screams: the Joker's girlfriend!” Joker giggled which got Harley to laughing. 

* 

Later that day Harley went out with Bob. It felt a little strange not to be in the asylum, to be out doing something “normal” like shopping. She held Bob's hand as they walked down the sidewalk together, both of them wearing matching sunglasses. 

She needed a costume, one that complemented Joker's clothing...a clown. But what? It felt so good to be out of the asylum, sure of who she had been, and who she was becoming now that she was with her love...her one true love. She giggled happily causing Bob to give her a questioning look. She grinned up at him. “Just thinking of my puddin.” 

Bob nodded reminding her of a wise sage. They had just crossed the street when Bob pulled on Harley's arm. She let the big man practically drag her over to a shop window. 

There on display, like a symbol of everything she had become, was a bodysuit. Not just any body suit, but a costume. Again, not just any costume, but a harlequin clown. 

Harley just stood there staring, her eyes moving slowly over the outfit before her. It was red and black, with a jester's hood, the points of which ended in white pompoms. Harley squealed and grabbed Bob's arm. “That's it!! Bob, you are a genius!!” With that she jumped up and gave him a loud, wet kiss on the cheek. 

Bob blushed as he was dragged into the shop. 

* 

Joker was sitting in his favorite chair glaring at his cellphone. A few phone calls had told him that nearly half the gang he had gone in Arkham with to get Harley had gotten themselves captured. 

Bunch of amateurs, he thought. Why on earth had he hired them in the first place? He closed his eyes. It was fine; he didn't need them. That was partly what they were for anyway, shields, fodder for the cops. He and Harley could get Frost without them. He smiled. Thinking about his Harley would always put a smile on his face. He still refused to examine whatever feelings she brought out in him, however. 

Then he allowed his mind to drift for a moment, imagining Harley killing Strange. Joker smiled. Running his tongue over his teeth, the image of Harley covered in blood made his eyes narrow with pleasure. Her victorious over the dead body of Strange...him stripping her blood soaked clothes off of her. Joker's mind started to wander with images of Harley naked on top of him. Joker had to forcefully bring his thoughts back to the problem at hand. 

Maybe Bob would know who to hire...Joker giggled. A bunch of mutes in masks would be hilarious!! Drive everyone mad because they would never speak! Joker started giggling. Some fodder for the cops and Batman to play with would be fun when they sneaked into the hospital for Frost. Joker knew Batman would be watching Frost, knowing Joker would try to get him free, but if there were a few goons running around causing havoc, he would be forced to leave “Frost watch” to go check it out. Bats could be very predictable in his behavior...too much of a goodie two shoes really. Did he need to try to save everyone? Batsy really needed to learn to let a few go...Joker giggled. Maybe let them all go!! Joker started laughing, holding his sides and kicking his legs which caused the desk chair to spin. 

* 

Inside the shop, Harley was staring at the costume watching the shop girl take it off the mannequin. The woman, twenty-something and clearly hating her job and everyone involved reluctantly took the costume off the figure before tossing it at Harley. “You can try it on in the back, but ya know you really have to have a rocking figure to wear something like that.” 

The young woman, her lip ring rolling out with her frown gave Harley an up and down look clearly communicating with her eyes that she didn't think Harley had the figure for it. Harley narrowed her eyes, for a brief second thought about pulling the gun out of her purse, which Bob was holding for her, and shooting the clerk right in her lip ring. But instead she stomped off to the dressing room, Bob following silently behind her. 

Alone inside the changing room, Harley pulled on the costume removing everything, even her undergarments. As she stood there staring at herself she knew this was it, this was her...Harley Quinn, the Harlequin of crime, the Joker's girlfriend...she was no longer Dr. Harleen Quinzel. She snorted for a brief moment thinking that Strange would be happy to know that Dr. Quinzel really had been destroyed—not on his terms, but on hers. She would become Harley Quinn, with Joker at her side. 

She opened the door to the dressing room to find Bob standing there silently staring off into nothingness holding her purse. She stepped out drawing his attention. 

“What do you think?” She did a spin for him. 

Bob grinned wide and nodded vigorously. 

Harley squealed with delight. “I knew it was perfect!!!” 

She hopped around for a moment before finding the shop clerk who glared at Harley. Ignoring her, Harley leaned on the counter. 

“Do you have any black lipstick?” 

The young woman dropped down behind the counter and came back up with the requested item. 

Harley squeaked. “PERFECT!!” 

She turned around to Bob smiling. “Bob dear, is there anything you want while we're here?” 

Bob blinked in surprised and nodded vigorously. Harley giggled. “Well pick it out, sweetie! It's on me!” 

Bob eagerly dashed to the back of the shop and came back within a few minutes, which was good because the shop clerk was glaring daggers into the back of Harley's head. 

She had had about enough of this woman! 

Bob stopped in front of Harley and held up a tutu of bright purple. Harley clapped her hands and giggled. 

“Ooh Bob; it's wonderful!! Try it on!” 

Bob grinned and silently stepped into the tutu. He wiggled a bit working it up over his muscular thighs and pants, but he managed to get it up and around his waist. Harley squealed with delight. 

“You look PERFECT!!” She thew her arms around Bob hugging him. Bob made not a sound as he hugged her back. 

The clerk snorted rolling her eyes. “Okay, well all of this is going to come up to $500. You got that?” 

Harley sneered at the clerk. “Bob—my purse.” 

Bob handed Harley her purse then moved to gather up Harley's discarded clothing in the dressing room. Harley opened her bag up and pulled out a purple and gold plated Colt Gold Cup Trophy 1911 and aimed the barrel at the girl's face. Harley smiled sweetly. 

“Just bag the lipstick and we'll be going. K?” She winked. 

* 

Harley and Bob ran out of the store with Harley giggling. They ducked down an alley and several side streets only stopping long enough when Harley found a broken mirror behind a dumpster where she squatted down and applied her lipstick with a wide grin. Then they took off again. Finally they made their way back to the hideout, managing to slip in unnoticed. 

* 

When Harley found Joker he was sitting cross-legged on the floor staring into a snow globe of Gotham where he had been shaking it violently every few minutes then going very still to watch the fake snowflakes rain down on the towers of Gotham. She grinned seeing him and walked out throwing her arms out wide with a loud. 

“TADA!!” 

Joker looked up his mouth dropping open for a brief moment before he broke out into a large smile laughing with pleasure. 

“Harley dear, you are stunning!!” Joker stood up and held his arms out for her. Harley squeaked and ran into his embrace. Joker wrapped his arms around her, swinging her around the room before he kissed her, smearing black lip stick. 

Harley whispered softly. “Will this do puddin?” 

Joker licked her lips. “It's perfect, my Harlequin.” Joker glanced up to see Bob standing near the door, holding Harley's purse, and her “normal” clothing, with his brand new tutu on. 

“Why don't you drop that there, Bob dear.” 

Bob did as he was asked and started to turn around and leave, but before he did Joker grinned blowing him a kiss. 

“You look fabulous darling!” 

Bob grinned, his round cheeks turning red and performed a curtsy before he headed out, leaving the two love birds alone. 

After Bob vacated the room, Joker caught his bottom lip in a crooked, lustful grin, green eyes slightly hooded while he gazed into her blue ones. 

“Now what do you have on under this perfect costume, my luscious pooh bear?” 

Harley giggled. At this moment, she was the happiest she had ever been...it only made her excited for her future with Joker, but right now she was focused on the now. 

“Why don't you try the zipper puddin and find out?” 

Harley waggled her eyebrows licking her lips suggestively. 

Joker grinned. “Oooh, it's in the back?” 

He turned her around and there at the base of her neck was the barely discernible zipper. Giggling the whole time, Joker reached up, hooking his fingers through the small silver hoop of the zipper and pulled it gradually down her back. 

Harley moaned softly placing her arms over her head and crossing them to lay them across on top of her head arching her back while Joker unzipped her. She gave Joker a teasing look over her shoulder, her grin welcoming, seductive. Joker tugged the zipper lower watching the way the fabric fell open to reveal her soft alabaster skin, silky and creamy beneath. He dragged the zipper down further until he hit the end, the zipper stopped at the dimples over her rear. 

“Hmmm...” He hummed. 

Joker smiled, his eyes surveying the exposed flesh of her lower back. He dropped the zip and spread the flat of his palms along her back. He hissed with the pleasure of touching her, feeling the smooth satin of her flesh under his hands. 

He leaned in and purred against her ear. “You are so soft and creamy, my little pumpkin pie.” 

Harley arched her back. Joker kneaded her lower back with his thumbs, pushing in and rolling his thumbs up. Harley mewled softly rolling her shoulders, the suit falling forward just a little. Joker moved his attention from her lower back, running his hands up and over her shoulders pushing the costume down. His long fingered hands followed the fabric down her arms. Harley pulled her hands out of the outfit and it fell, pooling at her feet. 

She stepped out of her boots, leaving the suit behind and reached up to take off the head piece, but Joker licked her ear. “Leave it on sweetie.” 

She giggled her pale cheeks turning rosy. “Okay puddin.” 

He didn't turn her around; instead he rolled his hands down over her breasts, gently squeezing them, his fingertips stroking back and forth over her already hard nipples. She could feel the rumble of his giggle against her bare shoulder. He dragged his teeth against her skin sending shivers down her spine. He chuckled, dragging his fingernails down along her stomach, causing Goosebumps to race over her skin. She groaned. “Oh puddin...” 

Joker licked her ear, then grabbed her earlobe with his teeth hissing. “My Harlequin...” 

One of his dexterous hands stayed at her breasts while the other slid between her legs, long fingers gracefully caressing her. Harley moaned loudly, laying her head back against his shoulder. Joker smiled, tracing his teeth with his tongue while his fingers played her, pinching and rolling her nipples while his other fingers flicked and pinched gently between her legs. Harley groaned, her hips moving against his fingers yearning for more friction. 

Joker stroked and flicked his fingers, pressing into her and out until Harley was putt in his hands. She cried out, her whole body arching, a deep orgasm shuddered through her and for a moment she wanted to turn into a puddle, sink at her puddin's feet. 

But Joker picked her up and shoved her up against the walls. He licked her neck while he worked to undo his pants. His voice, warm and seductive, oozed over her, caressing her almost as well as his hands. 

“Ready for me Harley?” 

“Oh yes puddin,” Harley moaned pressing her hands against the wall. 

Joker squeezed her backside, his eyes wandering down the curve of her back to her rear, grinning at how gorgeous she was...she glanced over her shoulder, going up on her tiptoes. 

Joker's breath hitched for a moment, running his pale hands over her equally pale backside. 

“You look so yummy, my Harlequin. So yummy indeed...” He giggled, admiring her backside.

Harley grinned at him bouncing on her tiptoes for a moment. “Want me?” 

Joker growled. “OH yes! I want you.” 

With one hand on her hips, he held her steady, while with his other hand, he grabbed his erection, sliding between her cheeks then lower, feeling the hot wetness of her. 

Then with a long, low exhale of pleasure, he slowly pushed himself into her. 

Harley moaned. “Oh yeah...Mistah J!” 

Joker laughed, then he thrust, pushing her against the wall, pressing her body flush against the drywall, his teeth digging into her shoulder with a growl. Harley's hands balled into fists as she thrust her hips back, wanting him deeper, harder. Joker grabbed her hips with both hands, digging his fingers into her skin and he fucked her hard, fast, deep. His movements had her screaming with pleasure. 

Joker groaned “Harley...” 

Harley gasped. Her climax hit her like an avalanche. She started to slip down the wall, but Joker held her up and thrust deep, pressing her against the wall. He let go of her hips and grabbed her hands where they were pressed against the wall, wrapping his fingers around hers. With his lips against her ear he moaned. “Always mine...always mine...” 

Harley groaned. “Yes, yes...always yours.” 

Joker came with a deep groan, pressing her almost painfully against the wall. 

* 

Later that evening Joker and Harley were curled in bed together. Harley was lying in his arms snuggled against his chest. She smiled, her fingers playing along his chest, drawing invisible patterns with a happy sigh. 

“So I'm guessing you like the outfit puddin?” she asked. 

Joker chuckled. “It's perfect my peach, just perfect. Hehe! we are going to give the dynamic duo a run for their money on the streets of Gotham!!” 

Harley laughed happily snuggling closer. 

Joker tightened his arms around her. 

“Now you are ready to help me get Frost.” He kissed the top of her head. 

“Why is Frost so important?” she asked softly. 

Joker frowned, thinking. “Frost has been with me for a long time. He takes orders well...” 

Joker seemed lost for a moment, but Harley laid a finger against his lips. 

“Shhh...I understand. We'll get him away from the mean old Batman and then we get to go after Strange!” 

Joker grinned. “Yes, then we teach Strange a valuable lesson about playing with clowns.”


	15. Come What Might

Frost sighed. Back to jail...wonderful. He was handcuffed to a wheelchair waiting for the transport from Blackgate prison. There were two guards standing behind him, armed to the teeth. Frost frowned. The entranced had been blocked off from the general populace until after the van picked him up and transported him to the prison. Lot of trouble over me, he thought. I suppose I should feel flattered. Frost stared at the cement trying not to focus on how bad prison was going to be, when the guards behind him started to laugh. 

Frost frowned turning to look at the guards behind him. The both kept laughing, and laughing and laughing. Their faces started to twist, their smiles becoming larger and larger until all their teeth were showing, the skin turning pale, their lips bright red, the smiles turning rictus and morbid...a smile he recognized. 

Frost blinked. “Joker?” 

That was when Joker, and Harley in her new outfit, leapt out of nowhere to dance in front of Frost. “TADA!!!” 

They both had their hands out doing jazz-hands. Frost looked dumbstruck. 

“Come on Frost, nothing?” Joker laughed. 

Harley dropped down beside Frost, having snagged the key from one of the slowly dying guards. She grinned while she unlocked the handcuffs. 

“Okay, Frost, let's go! Mistah J is on a schedule.” 

“There, free! Great job my pumpkin pie! Come on my amigos!” Joker laughed grabbing Frost's hand and yanking him from the wheelchair and up onto his feet. Harley giggled and led the way to where they had hidden the car. 

“Everybody in!!” Harley squealed jumping in behind the wheel. Joker pushed Frost into the back seat with a wide grin then turned to Harley. “Homeward my Harley girl!!” 

“Yes sir, Mistah J!” Harley giggled happily. 

Frost couldn't help it; he laughed too. Joker had actually come for him. 

* 

When the prison van pulled up, they found an empty wheelchair and two dead guards with wide, morbid smiling faces. 

* 

Bruce Wayne was down in the bat cave looking over the forged records for Harley Quinn. While he couldn't “prove” anything had happened to Dr. Harleen Quinzel or that Harley Quinn was actually the good doctor, his own detective work had brought him to that conclusion. The only way to prove it for sure was to talk to Harley Quinn, but he wasn't sure that there was anything of Harleen Quinzel left. Her appearance in court stating she was in fact Dr. Harleen Quinzel would be the only way to bring Strange to justice—because Bruce was sure Strange had something to do with all of this. Again, it was only a hunch, nothing he could prove. 

He was just shutting down the file when he picked up a report on the police scanner. Two guards found dead outside the city hospital. Van arrived to pick up a prisoner who was gone. Batman hissed. “Frost...it was the Joker...DAMN IT!” 

Bruce stood up taking swift strides over to where he kept his suit. He was just suiting up when Pennyworth came into the room carrying a tray of tea. “Sir?” 

“Sorry Alfred, no tea. I have to go.” 

“In the daytime Master Bruce?” Alfred looked both confused and apprehensive. 

“The Joker killed two guards outside the hospital...he has Frost. I'm going to see if I can salvage any clues before the police trample the whole site.” 

Alfred sighed. “Very good sir.” 

* 

Several hours later back at the hideout, Joker sat in a cushioned chair, his legs set wide as if he occupied a throne. He took a long drag off his cigarette, holding it for a moment between his gloved fingers then leaned over to put it against Harley's lips. She took a puff, then coughed making a face which had Joker laughing and pulling her closer against him. She was sitting on his lap, her arm around his shoulders while Frost sat across from them. 

Joker took another drag from the cigarette before putting it out and turning his attention to Frost. 

Frost was dressed more casually than usually for the man, sipping on a glass of orange juice that the Joker's girl had insisted he drink. 

Frost frowned. “You really wanna go back in there, back to Arkham? Just to get Strange?” 

Joker had been nibbling on Harley's jaw when he looked over at Frost. 

“Pumpkin here wants Strange and after how he treated my baby I think it's a very good idea.” 

Harley grinned and licked the tip of Joker's nose. 

Frost sighed. On one hand, yeah, he could understand exactly why Harley would want Strange. Hell, he would probably feel the same way if he had been tortured for weeks on end...but man, it was risky, especially since they had just gotten out of there...barely. 

“Batman will be on alert Boss. We should stay low for a couple of weeks before we do this job. Maybe we better, I don't know....see if we can't take Strange away from the asylum?” 

“That, my dear, dear Frost, is one of the many reasons I keep you around. Yes. I want you to watch Strange's routine...follow him, learn about his life outside of the asylum. 

Learn where he lives, know how the man thinks, pick up his habits...his kinks. Hurting him will be easier once we know all about him.” Joker laughed. 

Harley pouted. “I don't want to wait weeks puddin! I want to kill him now.” 

Joker cupped her face. “Now, now baby, patience...it will be more fun my way I promise.” 

Harley sighed. “Alright puddin...your way.” 

Harley rotated her position moving to straddle Joker's lap, pushing up on her knees which were sandwiched between the arm rests and Joker's thighs. Her smile was gorgeous and crazy. 

She started to slowly plant kisses on his nose, cheeks and lips while Joker continued to talk with Frost Joker playfully tugged on one of the pointy tips of Harley's hat. 

“Hmm...find some men Frost...” Here Joker stopped, running his hands up her hips to her waist, his lips finding hers in a deep passionate kiss. Harley giggled licking his lips then drawing a damp line to his ear. Joker chuckled while Harley used her tongue to tease and tickle his ear. 

“I want at least a dozen men, good with guns...very, very bad men Frost..” 

Joker purred for a moment, leaning into Harley as he continued. 

“But expendable. I don't want to have to pay any of them when this is over.” 

Harley giggled turning her attention to Joke's neck with a whispered, 

“I want you. I want all of you.” 

“Hmmm...cupcake.” Joker giggled. 

Joker sighed grinning at her for a moment, stroking his long fingers over her shoulders his intense eyes wandering over her face. He smiled turning his attention back to Frost. 

“Anyway, darling, I also want you to hit up my favorite medical supplier too! You remember who I'm talking about...that little weasel of a man...I forget his name every time...” Joker chuckled. “Anyway, darling, Let him know old Jokey needs a few new toys.” 

Frost nodded, feeling uncomfortable watching the way Harley started to undo the buttons on Joker's shirt, her tongue tracing his collarbone, then her fingers were at his vest, popping the buttons free, then the rest of the buttons lining his shirt that she had tugged out of his pants. She pulled his shirt aside, and started to bite his collarbone, her hands running over his exposed stomach. 

Frost swallowed. “On it Boss. When you want the stuff from Dr. Smith?” 

Joker giggled. “Smith...now see that's why I can never remember his name! I want it here within the week. I will want to try everything out before our guest arrives.” 

Frost stood. “On it Boss. And Boss...thanks for getting me.” 

Joker waved a gloved hand at him in dismissal. Harley had snaked her way down Joker's lap and was now on her knees between his legs undoing his pants button. 

Frost swiftly left the room. 

Harley ran her hand over his crotch feeling the tight, hardness of him. “So how long before we have him you think puddin?” 

Harley tugged on his pants pulling the flaps aside, snaking her hand into his boxers, which were covered in happy faces, her delicate fingers eased him out of the shorts causing Joker to groan. Her smile was mischievous as she gazed up at him, her hands squeezing gently. 

“How long before we have Strange here puddin?” 

Joker had his arms resting on the arms of the chair gazing down at her, his eyes taking on that hooded expression as his lust took over his thoughts. He grinned at the pompoms on the tips of her hat's pointy ends watching them wiggle for a moment. 

“Soon precious, soon. Can't rush these things...enjoy the anticipation...” His tongue rolled over the last word.... 

Harley purred. “Alright puddin, but I don't want to wait too long. I want to hurt him.” 

She took him into her mouth, her eyes staying on his face when she began to suck slowly, causing Joker to drop his head back against the chair with a loud exclamation. 

“Oh, by the double-barreled jumping jiminetty!” 

Harley's giggle vibrated down his length as she began to press her lips against him gradually pulling them up his erection causing him to groan loudly, his fingers digging into the chair's arms. 

“Ooooh Harley...” 

She giggled running her tongue around him, a slow, warm wet rotation, her tongue moving up to the head of his erection circling it with lazy gestures of her tongue. Joker moaned, his hips jerking toward her just a little. 

When she started to move her head up and down, hollowing out her cheeks slight so she could take him deeply into her mouth, Joker groaned reaching out one hand, pushing her hat off her head so he could grab a fist full of her thick white hair into his hand. She sucked harder, her teeth easing up his shaft, her teeth just barely grazing his delicate skin. He shuddered tugging on her hair just a little. Harley grinned taking him deeper into her mouth, the flat of her tongue moving up and down. Joker's head rose to look down at her, a huge smile on his face. She loved that look, the way his eyes flashed, the red of his lips, when he caught his tongue between his teeth; she could feel her body burn at the sight of that smile and those piercing eyes. 

She stood up grinning at him and reached behind her to pull the zipper of her costume down, weaving her hips a little. Joker said nothing. He just watched her, smiling at her as she tugged the outfit down her shoulders, then shimmied her hips sliding the tight fitting outfit lower until it pooled on the floor around her feet. She stepped out of it, kicking her shoes off, dancing a little as she stripped. 

She pulled her hat the rest of the way off, dropping it to the floor. She smiled coyly at him while she turned around to music only she could hear then slowly danced back around to face him. She ran one finger over her tongue before she ran her hands over her body. Her eyes had that dark hooded look shimmering in her blue eyes. Lust mixed with love when she rolled her hands over her breasts squeezing them together while she licked her lips. 

Joker pressed his teeth into his bottom lip watching her, his gaze burning like a dark fire. She twirled on the balls of her feet going down to the floor then back up to do another slow spin while her hand roamed down her hips. She tossed her hair over her shoulder glancing at Joker and running her tongue over the front of her upper teeth, that seductive, teasing smile still there. 

Joker growled. “Come here baby.” 

She pressed her teeth into her bottom lip, a smile on her lips stepping closer. Joker sat up straighter, reaching out for her hips, tugging her closer. She crawled back onto his lap adjusting herself over him. She dug her fingernails into his pecs while she slid down. Joker's fingers pressed hard into her flesh, almost painful until she had fully enveloped him. 

Joker grinned. “Mmm...Harley....” 

She dragged her nails hard down his chest leaving vivid red marks on his pale white skin. 

“Oooh puddin!” 

He laughed thrusting up, his hands caressing her skin to her breasts where he pinched her nipples. She gasped at the short jolt of pleasurable pain. Joker grinned dragging his nails over her nipples and down her breasts loving the way she groaned. The marks he left were red, with just a tiny bead of blood where his nails cut a little deeper into her skin. Harley moaned again arching her back. 

Joker yanked her closer, his tongue lapping over her breast, his teeth coming down on her nipple just hard enough to make her jerk. Halrey ground her hips against him, moving with hard thrusts, then she would slow, her hips rolled with a languid speed. Joker's hands reached around to grab her rear and squeeze. The intensity between them built, their movements becoming harder and faster. 

Joker growled looking up into her beautiful blue eyes hissing through his teeth. 

“Come on Harley...fuck me girl.” 

Harley stared back at him, her fingers were digging painful into his shoulders, but Joker never noticed, his attention on how good she felt and watching her. He started to laugh, his climax building, gazing at his Harley bouncing up and down then pressing, grinding...his giggles became difficult with all the panting, until Harley cried out, her back aching. The only reason she didn't fall off his lap was because of her fingers dug into his shoulders. 

“Oh puddin!” 

Joker jerked up, thrusting in short bursts until he couldn't control himself any longer. He came, exploding inside her with a snarl of her name. 

“HARLEY!!” He was breathing hard, but his fingers were gentle when he grabbed her chin and pulled her in for a kiss. 

He bit her lip, drawing just a tiny drop of blood that he licked sweetly. 

“Mmmm...that was delicious.” 

Harley giggled laying her head against his shoulder. He stroked her hair gently with the tips of his fingers. 

* 

It had been nearly a week since Joker broke into Arkham and took Harley Quinn out of the asylum. Strange was feeling more confident that Batman had no idea what was going on, suspected something maybe, but he had no proof about anything. 

Strange smiled; Batman was a fool. Strange had lost Dr. Quinzel, which was distressing, but it was only a minor set back. He had already put something in motion that would get her back and the Joker too. 

His plan was to break them both, to strip them down and rebuild their personalities to serve him. He smiled. He would prove he could reprogram the human mind, one way or another. He would prove he was smarter than anyone, especially Batman. 

Strange had just sat down at his desk when there was a soft chime from his cell phone indicating he had a text. Strange picked up the phone to see a text that read. 

“I'm here.” 

Strange smiled. Perfect. Bane had arrived earlier than he thought. This was good. Strange texted back. “Be there shortly.” 

Strange grabbed his coat and headed out. Hopefully Bane was as good as Mr. Luthor had said he was and his little Quinn and Joker problem would be solved ASAP.


	16. You Can Never Win

Joker leaned against the wall with his hands in the pockets of his slacks. He was dressed to the nines, his long purple coat on, spats which were bright white, purple pin-stripped suit, orange shirt, a pocket watch with gold chain and fob, and his wide brim hat which was keeping the rain out of his eyes. He glanced around the corner. He smiled when he saw the gangsters going inside, just like his informant had said. Play this right, Joker thought, and I will end up with the money and the guns. 

He glanced toward the dark roof tops of the warehouses. Hopefully, Harley was in a position waiting like he told her. She was still annoyed they didn't have Strange yet. Joker had thought doing a job with him might cheer her up. Since her dunking in the acid, she had been a little more—focused—on causing Strange some serious violence. He found that new trait in his pumpkin so endearing! Joker grinned to himself absently pulling on his bottom lip with his teeth. 

It had only been a few days since her rescue from the asylum and Joker had had to explain to her that things like this ran on money...and sometimes you just couldn't kill everyone to get your way. Oh, okay, you could, which they were going to do...but he didn't want to kill the man who was going to supply them with their new toys! 

Sometimes you had to plan. If she wanted new toys from Dr. Smith, then they were going to need to do this job, just a bit of cash to restock his account that had dwindled slightly with his stay at Arkham, despite Frost's best efforts on his account. Joker promised her tonight would be fun. And it would be; he had given her a pop-gun that was loaded with his venom and a brand new mallet he had acquired for her to play with tonight 

Joker grinned remembering her delighted face when he had given her the gifts. After this job he was going to have to make her smile like that again, but for different reasons... 

Joker grinned happily, his thoughts momentarily distracted by the image of a naked Harley wearing only her jester heels and holding the mallet, all that long white hair flowing down over her breasts. He giggled, before he turned around the corner. The coast was clear. With a wide grin, Joker strolled into the abandoned warehouse after the gang. 

* 

Harley giggled when she saw her puddin head inside the warehouse. He was so smart and so handsome. Her heart flipped when she saw him. She glanced behind her to see Bob waiting silently. He wore a bright green tutu that Mistah J had bought for him. It had been a sweet gesture; Mistah J was so darling. Bob even had his face painted in clown make-up with a huge grin across his face. Joker had given Bob his own mallet too. Watching the silent joy that raced across Bob's face when Joker gave him the mallet was just wonderful. Bob looked satisfyingly happy. 

He grinned brightly at Harley who giggled. “Come on Bob—my puddin needs us!” 

Bob nodded and pulled his gas mask out from the large satchel on his hip. 

* 

Frost saw the movement on the rooftops where he knew Harley and Bob were waiting. The plan was in action now. Frost got out of the car, sliding on his gas mask as he did so. He had parked at the back in the dark shadows of another warehouse. He silently moved around heading to the back entrance of the building where the meeting was taking place. There were a couple of guards there, nothing he couldn't handle. He carried a dart gun, the needles of each dart coated in Joker's venom. It was effective, rapid, and much quieter than bullets. Frost easily found a shadowed spot and took aim; in two quick trigger pulls, he had shot both men. They both looked confused for just a breath and then started to giggle, hard and then harder until both men dropped their weapons, falling to their knees holding their sides while they continued to laugh, painfully and fatally. Frost walked up to the door. He stood there watching the two men succumb to the venom, their faces stretching into agonized looking smiles, their eyes wide and glazed with hysterical oblivion. 

Frost shoved them out of the way and silently opened the door, slipping in just at the moment he heard Joker's voice carry through the warehouse. 

* 

“Well, well—what have we here? A little private party?” Joker strolled into the warehouse just as bold as you please. The members of both gangs turned. There were a total of perhaps twenty men and with a quick glance Joker estimated that there were maybe twenty crates of weapons. Ooo! More than he realized! How nice. He smiled brightly. “Oh, I feel like a wicked fairy. I mean, I'm hurt no one invited me to the party!” Joker put his hand to his breast to emphasize how hurt he was, but the menacing grin, the look of maniacal glee in his eyes made him look terrifying. 

“I suppose I might just have to curse everyone.” He giggled. 

All the mobsters turned their weapons on Joker. One dark haired, non-nondescript man stepped forward. He was dressed in a dull grey suit. As far as Joker could tell everything about his man was dull. 

“What do you want clown?” 

Joker grinned. 

“Oh nothing really. Just was curious what was going on...you know...since I've been gone.” 

“Look, clown get out and there won't be any trouble.” The man who seemed to be speaking for everyone stepped forward with his gun aimed at Joker who didn't seem the least bit nervous about a weapon in his face. 

“So...” Joker kept talking as if having a weapon aimed at him was nothing new...which it wasn't 

“You guys are members of the Odessa Mob...I mean, correct me if I'm wrong...” 

He pointed at the other group who were clearly selling the guns. “And you guys are from Metropolis, correct? You guys are a little ways from home? Superman making things a bit sticky in the clean city of Metropolis?” Joker giggled. “Aw Superman the flying pompous puss of Metropolis...hehehe, what a name, right? Though I shouldn't talk really...Batman?” Joker laughed again, but this time he put his fingers up, making it look as if he had pointed ears on his head.. 

“So anyway...” Joker turned around, a large grin still plastered on his face though there was an edge to the smile. “I'm here for the money and the guns.” 

“What?” the Metropolis gang looked at the Odessa Mob. 

“I don't have time for this...” The mobster spokesman raised his weapon a fraction, ready to unload on the Joker. 

Joker laughed. “Well, I've got the place...HARLEY!” Joker laughed, yelling her name. 

Harley giggled and gripped the device in her hand; she gave it a big wet kiss just before she pressed the button, setting off the bombs they had set around the inside the warehouse. All of them started to explode with the loud popping sounds like balloon. Which in fact they were...hidden in the rafters among the darkness of the ceiling, all with tiny little detonator. 

Balloons filled with Joker venom. 

The men fired at Joker who easily dove out of the way, rolling behind some crates laughing while the Joker venom slowly descended, filling the room with his gas. The warehouse overflowed with the sounds of yelling and gunfire. A handful of men managed to keep their heads enough to turn and rush for the door. 

Outside, having set off the bombs, were Bob and Harley, both of them laughing with their mallets ready to catch anyone who happened to get out the doors. 

That was the moment the doors flew open, two mobsters stumbling out. Harley squealed and yelled. “FORE!!” and swung her mallet. 

The mallet hit one of the men, his head snapping to the side with a spray of blood. Harley grinned, the whites of her teeth showing bright in the strange green light (the light reflected in the Joker gas had a lovely shade of green, almost like puddin's hair) coming from the warehouse. 

Bob swung his mallet up, catching his mobster under the chin and sent him stumbling backwards into the warehouse where the Joker venom was rolling like a fog along the floor. 

A couple more men made it to the doors, but Harley and Bob took care of them. 

Harley giggled listening to the sounds of laughter coming from the warehouse. A couple of seconds later she caught a glimpse of her puddin, his long barrel weapon in hand, shooting those gangsters in the forehead who were not succumbing to the gas fast enough. He laughed while he danced around shooting, them in the foreheads, although about midway through his dance he decided just to shoot them all in the forehead while he sang. “Miss Susie had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell! Miss Susie went to heaven, the steamboat went to...” 

* 

Joker and Harley had discovered, quite by accident, that Harley, like Joker, was immune to his Joker gas, which had made Joker all sorts of excited. So tonight she strolled into the warehouse swinging her mallet like a purse until she saw anyone move; then she would smash them in the face. 

Joker shot the locks off the crates, throwing open the lids. 

“Oh, now would you look at these! Beautiful!” 

Inside as a crate full of M2 Brownings. Joker grinned. “It's like Christmas!” 

Harley wrapped her arms around him. “Oh puddin they're so pretty!” 

Joker smiled at Frost. “Let's get these beauties loaded up. You got the van?” 

“Sure thing Boss.” Frost motioned to Bob who happily (and frighteningly easily it seemed) picked up a heavy box of guns to follow Frost out back. 

“There's more, cutie pie!” Joker took Harley's hand and led her over to one of the bodies where a case lay next to the body. He pulled a blade out of his pocket and forced the lock open. He lifted the case lid and Harley squealed again. “Oh wow, Mistah J!! Look at all that money.” 

Joker grinned. “I do so love the color green.” 

Harley giggled with a look at her lover. “Me too.” 

They both laughed while Joker shut the lid and picked up the case. “You and Bob have this under control, Frost?” 

Frost nodded. “Sure thing Boss.” 

Joker blew him a kiss. “Thank you darling—see you in a little while.” 

With that Joker and Harley skipped out the back door holding hands. 

* 

Ordinarily, someone walking the streets of Gotham with a case would have attracted many levels of lowlifes to try to take it, but as Harley held Joker's hand and they walked down the street, anytime someone stepped out to harass them and saw Joker, they immediately took off running. Harley laughed as Joker walked her home. They occasionally shot someone or Harley took her mallet to them, but otherwise it was just the two of them in the cool, full moon night walking the streets of Gotham carying a case full of money. 

Harley sighed. “This is so romantic.” 

Joker laughed. “Ah, yes it is pooh.” 

* 

Bane saw Strange almost as soon as he was off the plane. Hugo eyes narrowed behind his glasses. People walked around Bane as if he were a rock parting the water. The man was easily six feet eight inches or more and as wide as at least three well built men. He wasn't wearing his traditional mask, through his face was covered by a scarf covering his nose and mouth and a heavy set of sunglasses across his eyes. When he spotted Strange he walked over, moving with deceptively soft foot falls. 

“You promised the Bat if I gave you the clown. That is the only reason I won't kill the clown as soon as I see him. I want the Bat more. You're lucky,” Bane said in a tone that left no question how he viewed Strange in this endeavor. “So you are paying me to kidnap that freak for you?” By Bane's tone it was clear he found this odd behavior. 

Strange nodded. “Yes, but we shouldn't discuss business here.” 

Bane frowned, though Strange could only see the gesture as a slight shift of his nose and cheeks. “Then you will lead us someplace to talk Strange.” Bane's accent was thick, but he made himself clearly understood. Strange nodded and led the way. 

* 

An hour later found the two men in a safe house of Strange's. They were sitting at a table, Bane's mask now in place. Bane took a long sip of his drink putting the beer back down hard on the wooden table. “So I get the clown and his woman, bring them to you? How will this get me the Bat?” 

Strange smiled. “I surmise that you know about the long rivalry between Batman and the Joker?” 

Bane nodded with a slight shrug. 

“I can only assume that if you make it clear to Batman your intention to kill both Joker and this Harley Quinn, that he will come to rescue them. Then you give them over to me and you have your fight with the Batman.” Strange smiled, showing his straight teeth. “It's a win-win.” 

Bane frowned. “Fine. But I want the Bat.” He smiled. “And the money. What are you going to do with the clown?” 

Strange smiled. “That is strictly need to know and I'm afraid you don't need to know.” 

Bane's eyes narrowed behind the mask. “This woman. Who is she? Last time I tangled with that clown, he didn't have a woman with him.” 

Strange waited a couple of moments before answering. He decided telling Bane some of the truth would not hurt the plan. “She was his doctor. He twisted her and now she is his side-kick, his girlfriend.” 

Bane smiled. “He has a woman. Interesting and deadly. That fool has a weakness now. Getting him will be much easier than I thought.” 

He picked up his beer finishing it off. “Alright. Let's get started.” 

* 

When they arrived home, Frost and Bob had already gotten back with the weapons and were in the middle of unloading the crates. Joker sent Frost off to make contact with Dr. Smith for a delivery. Bob went off to do whatever it was that Bob did. 

Joker grabbed Harley around the waist and lifted her up before dumping her on the bed making her squeal with laughter. He stripped off his hat and coat then grabbed the case, dumping the money all over Harley who squealed with delight. “PUDDIN!!” 

He laughed and flopped down on her grabbing her close giving her a toe-curling kiss. He whispered lustfully. “You ever have sex on a couple of million dollars?” 

Harley giggled. “No I haven't...” 

Joker growled sexily against her neck. “Mmm...want to make it with a clown?” 

She squealed attacking him and rolling Joker onto his back. He laughed grinning like a mad man watching her reaching behind herself to yank the zipper of her costume down. He reached up to grab the front of the outfit and yanked it down over her breasts, narrowing his eyes and licking his bottom lip looking hungrily at her. He reached up with his gloved hands and caressed her breasts, his thumbs stroking over her nipples making her groan. 

Harley arched her back into his touch and started to grind her hips against him, which caused the points of her hat to bounce. She grinned feeling how hard he was already. 

“Hmmm, Harley...” Joker moaned. 

She reached down and started to pull at his tie, then her nimble fingers were making short work of his buttons. She had them all undone, including his vest, having just yanked them open so she could run her gloved fingers over his white chest grinning down at him when suddenly Frost burst into the room. 

“BOSS!” 

Harley yelped in surprise diving off Joker and wrapping her arms around her breasts. Joker sat up. 

“Frost, this had better be important or I swear....” 

“Boss I just got word, Bane arrived in town tonight!” Frost looked nervous. 

Joker rolled his eyes, flopping back down on the bed. 

“So? Why do we care that that big walking outhouse is doing in Gotham?” 

Joker started to laugh. 

“Boss, he was seen meeting Dr. Strange at the airport.” Frost frowned, looking nervous. 

Harley popped up, holding her costume up over her breasts. “WHAT? Strange?” 

Frost nodded. “I'm not sure what's going on Boss, but Bane being here can't be good. Remember last time?” 

Joker started laughing. “Oh, when I injected his juice with some Joker venom!! Oh, that was so much fun!!! I do so wish you could have seen him Harley!” 

Harley laid back down snuggling against Joker who wrapped an arm around her. “So what is a Bane?” she asked. 

Joker giggled. “He is a walking and talking bull! No brains and far too much brawn. Oh and he likes to play dress up with a mask. He could be a clown I suppose, but he is just as bad as Batsy. All seriousness and no fun at all!” 

Frost nodded. “Yes, well remember he said something about killing you the next time he saw you?” 

Joker made a rude noise. “Nah...he is more interested in Batman; he always has been...muscle head can't stand the fact that Batman got the best of him last time he was in Gotham.” 

Joker giggled sitting up and flexing his arms making his voice deep. 

“Bane don't like other muscle head besting him in battle.” 

Harley started to giggle. 

Frost still looked nervous. “I just...if Bane is here at Strange's request, isn't that going to make our taking Strange harder?” 

Joker put his hands up in the air over himself as he lay on his back wiggling his fingers. “Hmm...I don't really see this changing our plans any...but just so you won't be so worried my sweeting...” He grinned at Frost. “Get some men and let's make this place like the fortress of solitude...but not quite so solitude-like...


	17. Give In

Batman had arrived at the scene of the murders before the police. He calculated that he had perhaps twenty minutes before the police arrived—enough time to look for clues. There were several bodies on the floor of the warehouse. He moved among them and, judging by their faces, this was the Joker's handiwork. Batman figured that a weapons exchange had been taking place...one not involving the Joker, at least not at first. 

The Joker. Batman sighed. Judging by the clues, Joker took off with several crates of weapons and all the cash. Batman also found clues that indicated that Joker had had some assistance...he wasn't sure from who, but he would bet money it was Dr. Harleen Quinzel. 

Now to figure out what Joker wanted with a large amount of weapons. The money was easy, the weapons...he would be wanting to sell them, or arm a small army. Either way, it meant trouble for him and for Gotham. Bruce sighed. Every time Joker managed to escape Arkham, it meant a new round of headaches for Batman...far worse than headaches...it meant lives would be lost. 

Batman turned, about to leave, when his communicator went off. 

Batman pushed a button on his armored sleeve. “Alfred, what is it?” 

“Sir, I just received word that Bane is in Gotham.” 

Batman froze. “What?” 

“Yes sir, he was seen not an hour ago, although my informant lost sight of him.” 

Bruce hissed. “Damn it.” 

“Sir?” 

“Alfred, put out the word. I need to know where Bane is and who he is seeing.” 

“Will do Master Bruce.” 

* 

Several days had gone by since Joker and Harley had learned of Bane's arrival, with nothing happening. Frost had done as Joker asked and hired several rough men, all of them armed to the teeth...and still nothing. 

Another week went by of Joker lying low, bored out of his mind. He was lying on his back on their bed with his head hanging off the side, looking at Harley, his arms spread wide. 

“Harley, I'm so booorrreeed!!!” he groaned. 

Harley glanced over to him and smiled. He wore a favorite pair of pinstripe purple pants, a pair of red and orange striped socks she had shoplifted for him, and suspenders of bright green. He wasn't wearing a shirt, which Harley loved. She liked being able to see his lean chest. 

“What we need is a night on the town puddin.” Harley grinned. She had her hair piled up on her head, the white locks painted with red and blue streaks through it making the bun on her head resemble a gumball. She wore a pair of short-shorts and a tank top with unicorns on it while she searched through an assortment of nail polishes that Joker had stashed here. She was looking for one or two to paint their nails with so that they had matching nail polish. 

Joker frowned grumpily and asked, “A night on the town?” 

She smiled serenely as she picked up the black polish and a bright neon blue. 

She stood up gracefully and hopped over to him to drop onto the bed, which made them both bounce. Joker didn't move for a mintue before he flung himself up. “Like dancing and such?”

Harley grinned brightly and reached out for one of his hands, placing it on her thigh. 

“Yeah, why not Mistah J? We could have a few drinks, dance, maybe kill someone if it's funny....” She shrugged. “I don't know.” 

Joker grinned slowly. “Maybe that could be fun....” He seemed lost in thought while Harley painted his nails. One hand black, the other blue. She held his hands up to her lips and blew on his nails smiling while she watched him thinking things through. After a few moments Joker pulled his hands away to take a look. He held his fingers up to the light. 

“Hmmm...I like it Harls, good job! Gold star for you!” 

Harley squealed, pleased with his praise. 

Joker grinned. “Alright Harls, my girl. I want you to dress in your best! Get all dolled up! We are going out on the town!” 

* 

Standing in the center of the room, Joker was dressed in a tux, a full-on Fred Astaire look, top hat and tails, black and white tuxedo with white gloves, his green hair slicked back and a pair of round purple-lensed pair of glasses perched on the end of his nose, along with a black cane topped with a gold Joker's head. He twirled his cane waiting for Harley. He was starting to get frustrated when there was a knock at the bedroom door. 

“Enter!” Joker snarled in annoyance. 

Bob, wearing a lime green tutu, came in with a silver platter on which he carried Joker's switchblades; cleaned, polished, sharpened and looking brand new. Joker grinned, his eyes danced like a child at Christmas. 

“They look gorgeous Bob!! I could just kiss you! In fact I will!” Joker grabbed Bob around the neck with one arm and stood on tiptoe to kiss Bob on the cheek. Bob blushed and scurried out. 

Joker set his cane aside and flipped the blades back and forth, opening them and closing them with the air of long practice, his wrists giving them an elegant snap back and forth. With a happy smile he slid them into an inner pocket inside his coat. 

“Harley, will you hurry up?!” Joker yelled. 

“Coming puddin!! Hold on!” She cried back. 

Joker muttered to himself and grabbed his cane, but just as he was about to truly lose his temper, Harley stepped out. She was dressed in a gold and black sequin dress with a diamond pattern raced across the fabric. It was extremely short, showing off her long, pale legs. The fabric clung to her breasts and her hips in what Joker thought was a most provocative way. Her white hair was worn down her back, long and loose with the hint of blue and black dye on the tips. 

She gave him a coy and seductive look, running her tongue along the bottom of her upper teeth. 

“Whatdaya think puddin?” She did a little twirl on her high heeled gold shoes. 

Joker grinned pressing his upper teeth into his lower lip while watching her spin. 

“I'm not sure we should go out now.” He giggled. 

Harley wrinkled her nose at him. “When we get back, you can take it off of me.” She licked her upper lip causing Joker to groan. 

“Alright poo, let's hit the town!” 

* 

They drove into downtown Gotham to the Empire Nightclub. The place was the current “in” spot for Gotham nightlife. Joker and Harley drove a royal purple Acura NSX, parking near the club. They walked up and into the joint as if they owned the place. The doorman's eyes went wide when he saw them. He knew the Joker immediately; the gang he was affiliated with had had dealings with the Joker in the past. Word had come down a long time ago if the Joker ever showed his face here to let him through without trouble. Hank, the doorman, had never thought it would happen since the Joker didn't seem the nightclub sort of person from what he had read in the papers or heard on the street, but here he was with some hot dame on his arm walking in!! Hank was both terrified and thrilled. He could not wait to get on the horn and tell his buddies that he had seen the Joker! 

He grinned to himself, greatest night of his life...if he lived that is... 

* 

Once inside, the music was loud and chaotic. Joker laughed to see all the people writhing about on the dance floor. Dancing was not the only thing going on, there were people in corner booths either having sex or snorting coke, while others were drinking themselves into oblivion. Off to the right of the dance floor was a bar that was a circle in the middle of the room with a wall of mirrors and other reflective surfaces so that the lights danced back into the crowds and people could watch themselves and others. 

Harley squealed as she hopped up and down. “Puddin, dance with me please!!” 

Joker sighed as he glanced at the gyrating dancers. “Not really my kind of dancing pooh bear.” 

Harley stuck her bottom lip out. “We can dance the way you want. Show these dopes some real dancing.” She waggled her eyebrows at him. 

Joker sighed again, but then he was grinning. “I can deny you nothing, doctor.” 

Harley laughed. Joker hooked her arm through his and walked her to the bar. He caught the barman's attention. “Hold my cane and hat, good sir!” 

The guy took the cane reaching out for the hat, then looked at Joker and his eyes bugged for a moment. He knew who Joker was... he blubbered. “Yes sir, yeah.” 

Joker led Harley onto the crowded dance floor. Lady Gaga started playing. Harley had no idea what the song was, but Joker wrapped an arm around her waist yanking her against him, his other hand taking hers. He smiled down at her, that wickedly sexy smile, a smile that promised her a great deal of fun later. Her heart hammered at the thought of what he might do to her and with her later in the night. 

Joker started to move her along the dance floor in long elegant strides. They danced in quick tight movements, a form of waltz combined with a salsa or samba...Harley had no idea what he was doing, but whatever dance it was, he was doing it well and he was taking her along for the ride. 

* 

He spun her out from him, keeping a hold of her hand. She flowed with the movement, gyrating her hips before he tugged her back to his embrace. He danced with her around the dance floor again, his hand caressing the curve of her back. Joker spun her out once again and she kicked up one long leg landing on her toes before he yanked her back. Joker gave her his most charming smile while gazing over the top of his glasses at her. He leaned her backwards, dragging his hand down between her breasts, which caused her whole body to burn with pleasure. He pulled her back up, pressed her along his body, then danced her across the dance floor. 

The crowd moved out of the way for them creating a center ring for them while Joker and Harley spun around in a tight circle. 

Harley was in a trance staring up at Joker while he smiled down at her. He looked so incredibly sexy! He moved her across the floor, his intense eyes only on her. She was so in love with him. She couldn't imagine herself without him. 

Joker spun her around. The man was sexy and dashing, the smile on his face was so beautiful that it made her swoon. He was mad, crazy, completely insane and she loved him for it. 

As Joker spun her out to arm's length, Harley did a few tight twists of her hips, and then he pulled her back with his hand splayed across her lower back pressing her hips against his hips, his long, dexterous fingers squeezed her rear while he smirked at her leaning her back, the tip of his nose touching hers. He held her other arm out with his hand. The dip was dangerously low, but he was surprisingly strong for such a thin man. 

Joker spun her in another swift circle around the floor, twirling her out from his body, then brought her toward him, though this time he pressed her back against his chest and he ran his hand down her front. His lips caressed her ear while his hand traced down her stomach gliding along her torso to her thigh. Joker then dragged his fingers back up, digging in softly but firmly while his fingers traced her flesh. Harley groaned rolling her hips against him, pressing her backside to him. 

When she spun back around to face him, she kicked a leg up, long and lean, her lips curved in a sweet yet seductive smile. Joker caught her calf leaning her leg against his shoulder, his fingers caressing down her calf and thigh while he slid her across the floor. 

Joker dragged her in a half circle before he dropped her leg back down. He dipped her back as his hand followed the contours of her body, up from her hip to her face, caressing her jaw, then, as he held her with one arm, he ran his fingers over her lips with a wide grin on his face just as the song ended. 

The people around them started clapping. Joker laughed and put one leg behind him, holding her hand with his as he performed and graceful bow. Harley curtsied beside him. 

With a laugh Joker hooked her arm in his again and escorted her off the dance floor, stopping at the bar for his cane and hat. He ordered a bottle of whiskey and a “Sex on the Beach” for Harley. Joker decided that he wanted a particular booth in the back. When they arrived at said booth, it was occupied by a group of club goers. When Joker and Harley stepped up, the group went absolutely quiet. Joker stared at them, a cold menacing smile on his face, his eyes hidden behind the purple lenses. 

Harley giggled. “If you want to make it till morning, I suggest you guys move it.” 

With that, the lot of them hurriedly exited the booth. Joker made a disgusted face and rolled his eyes. But then he and Harley were in the booth with Joker placing Harley onto his lap. 

* 

Bane had gotten world from Bird that Joker had been sighted going into a nightclub. Bane wasted not time to take off after him. 

Band saw the nightclub up ahead. One of his informants had seen Joker and his woman enter the establishment an hour ago and they had not left yet. Bane smiled. Perfect, he might get that clown and his woman tonight and be after the Bat within the hour if all worked as he hoped it would. He would mostly likely bring the good doctor the pair of them back dead...Bane grinned. Sometimes, his job was almost too easy. 

* 

Joker's hat sat in the middle of the table while Joker nibbled at Harley's throat, working his way down her neck to where his fingers rested against the flesh between her breasts. She could feel how much he wanted her. He was hard; she could feel him between her legs where she straddled his lap. His other hand was resting on her rump, fingers squeezing, massaging under the dress. She moaned softly, grinding her hips occasionally. 

He growled against Harley's neck, pressing his groin up against her which caused a deeper moan of need to escape her lips. Joker leaned back to pull one glove off with his teeth, making Harley groan with want and anticipation. Joker's eyes focused only on hers while he dipped his now naked fingertips into the tumbler of whiskey he had poured. He carefully raised his wet fingertips, holding them over her chest to let the drops of amber liquid drip from his fingers onto her skin. He pressed his upper teeth into his bottom lip, watching the drops travel down her flesh, sliding between her full breasts then lower, past the line of the dress. Joker growled again leaning in to run his tongue over the trail of whiskey he had created tugging back the fabric to expose her breast, his tongue and lips just starting to play with her nipple. 

Harley moaned and arched back as she ground her hips against him wanting him to take her right here, when they both heard a ripple of fear roll through the crowd. 

Joker looked up over Harley's shoulder, his glasses settled on the end of his nose. He saw the light and shadows dancing off an usually large form that pushed its way through the dancers and partiers, heading straight for them. 

“Well that's just fine...ruin a perfectly good evening.” Joker sighed with a pout. Harley twisted around to see the large figure coming closer. 

“What is that??!!” 

Joker laughed. “That my sweetie, is a Bane. I think we need to skedaddle!” 

* 

Joker stood up wishing he had brought more than simply his cane, his switchblades, and a boutonniere that was full of acid. He knew he couldn't out-muscle Bane...but he could out smart him. For a moment he glanced at Harley. He wasn't accustomed to the strange feeling of worry...caring...it was still so new to him, but he knew Harley would not stand a chance against Bane. For a deadly moment, Joker was indecisive... 

* 

Bane grinned when he saw the clown and his woman...he knew exactly what to do to weaken the fool...hurt the woman, his weak spot, his Achilles heel! He hit the device on the back of his hand, feeling the rush of venom in his veins. 

Bane charged right for her. 

Harley squeaked in alarm when she saw the goliath sized man, Bane. He was far bigger than she thought he should be and he was coming right at her. She shoved Joker aside; her first thought was to protect Joker! She was afraid that Bane would hit her clown. The action startled Joker as he was knocked over by her push. Bane came right for her and grabbed her by the arm and yanked her forward. She hit his chest like slamming into a wall. She started to push away, but Bane's huge arms, bigger than what she first thought, wrapped around her and squeezed. 

In the midst of fighting, Bane forgot that Harley Quinn wasn't suppose to be killed if he could help it—all Bane could think about what hurting Joker and drawing out Batman. 

Bane squeezed her harder. 

Joker got to his feet ready to take off for the exit. The crowd of people ran about in chaos, but then Harley screamed and something the Clown Prince of Crime snapped. 

Joker yanked out a switchblade, his cane in his other hand as he snarled. 

“Put her down, you big Galoot!!” 

Bane turned to Joker. Joker could see the grin under his mask. 

“You have made a serious miscalculation clown...caring for someone? Really did not think you were foolish enough to care in your madness. Will you miss her? Will you mourn over her body? Let us find out?” 

Bane squeezed her. Harley screamed, a creaking sound in her chest telling her that he might have already broken a rib. 

Joker laughed, eyeing Bane over the top of his glasses. 

“Oh go ahead, pop her head off for all I care, but you know...it's really bad form to play with someone else's toys without asking. Soooo I am going to have to punish you. That, and I hate your mask.” 

Bane was slow to react as Joker suddenly made a run for him. Bane reached out with one hand to grab at the clown, but Joker dropped his weight sliding on his knees under the taller man's arm and dragged his switchblade along the length of Bane's forearm, cutting deeply. 

Bane snarled and twisted around. He managed to take a swipe at Joker. The strike knocked Joker forward throwing him into a table and over it. 

Bane laughed. “Is that your best clown?” he taunted. “Make this a real fight.” 

Bane slammed Harley down breaking a table under her body with the force of the impact. 

Harley wasn't sure why she was still conscious, which was really not fair. She should be unconscious! The pain of the impact had Harley seeing stars. But it also made her angry—very angry. 

Bane had released her as she smashed into the table, clearly thinking she was down for the moment, but Harley rolled onto her side, clenching her teeth against the pain in her ribs, and grabbed at the largest piece of splintered wood she could find, wrapping her hand tightly around it. 

Bane turned his attention to Joker who staggered to his feet with a laugh, though his nose was bleeding and blood dripped down his chin from his split lip. The remains of his glasses hung from one ear, the lenses shattered, and a pressure wound on his cheek was slowly oozing blood down the left side of his face, but his smile was just as large and maniacal as ever. 

“I don't know Bane, I'm pretty sure Batman hits harder and he is way prettier than you too.” Joker laughed ducking another swing and flipping his blade around to slice a deep wound across Bane's wrist. Joker dropped to a crouch before coming back up under Bane's guard and hitting him under the chin with the ball of his palm. Bane staggered back a few steps, but then came forward as if the strike had done nothing, making a fist and slammed his fist down on Joker. 

Joker was quick, but he still took the brunt of the hit in the shoulder. Then Bane, quick for such a large figure, swung his fist to the side knocking Joker's jaw to the left and splitting his lips on the other side. 

Blood rushed down Joker's chin, but he smiled. 

“Oh Bane, you come up so short. You will never be as fun as Batman.” Joker giggled. 

Bane snarled. “I am better than Batman!” He lunged at Joker who was doing his best to lead Bane away from Harley who lay among the remains of the table having not moved yet as far as he could tell. 

Joker laughed dancing just out of Bane's reach. 

“Seriously? Don't make me laugh!! Okay, well, do make me laugh.” Joker giggled. 

Bane took another lunge trying to grab a hold of Joker, but when Bane's fingers brushed in front of him Joker squeezed his flower shooting an arc of acid at Bane. 

The large man barely managed to avoid the spray, cursing. “You and your tricks are no match for me!!” 

Joker grinned, his eyes wild. “Oh I don't know Banie boy, I seem to be doing just fine.” 

* 

Harley staggered to her feet, armed with her broken piece of table, wheezing a little with pain, though as she got to her feet she was pretty sure her ribs were bruised rather than broken. 

She ran at Bane's back shoving the wood as hard as she could. The splintered wood missed embedding itself in the fighter's flesh, but the splinters cut deeply across Bane's side. Bane turned his attention on her so swiftly it surprised her. She could see the smile under the mask as his large hand snapped out to grab her around her throat in a vice-like grip that lifted her easily off her feet. 

“I'm going to break your neck and watch you die,” Bane hissed starting to squeeze slowly. 

Harley dug at his much larger hands with her tiny ones, but her attempts at clawing at him were no more than a bug's bite to him. 

Joker glanced at Harley dangling from Bane's grip. He grinned licking the blood from his lips, his eyes were bright yet had that flat look the Joker would get when true anger took over his thoughts. 

“Put her down, Bane. Put her down now.” 

Bane smiled. “You do care about her don't you clown?” 

Joker hissed which made Bane chuckle. “No jokes clown?” 

“Oh, I have a joke for you Bane.” Joker was moving slowly, like a viper about to strike. 

“They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.” 

Joker grinned and started to charge at Bane. Bane squeezed Harley's throat. 

Suddenly, there was a loud crash accompanied by the sound of shattered glass. 

Landing in the center of the dance floor amidst the glass and the combatants...was Batman.


	18. Comin' Under Fire

When Joker saw Batman, he immediately started laughing. 

“Oh my gosh! The bell of the ball has arrived!!” He threw his arms out wide like a ring master introducing the main performance. Bane turned as swiftly as a man of his size could, his eyes narrowing at the sight of Batman. 

Batman rose slowly; the rotating lights of the dance floor kept him in shadows as he turned to glare that white eyed look that penetrated into a criminal's soul, his gaze unfaltering. His voice was harsh as he spoke. 

“Drop her Bane.” 

Bane grinned at Batman, but he didn't drop Harley. 

“You want the woman? Then have her Batman.” With that, Bane threw her. 

Harley gasped at suddenly being able to take a breath, but before she could enjoy breathing again, she screamed at being thrown. When she slammed into Batman—who tried to catch her—all the air was knocked from her lungs in a painful gush. Both she and Batman went down in a heap on the floor. 

Batman shoved her off immediately as he climbed to his feet in a smooth movement. Harley rolled to her feet with a smile, tilting her head as she grinned at the Bat. It was still painful to breathe, but she hissed. 

“Hey, you're the Bats. My puddin has mentioned you.” 

Batman grabbed her shoulders. “Dr. Quinzel. You need to get out of here. I can help you!” 

Harley let him grab her, but she narrowed her eyes and then she threw her arms up, breaking Batman's hold on her shoulders. She took several steps back from him. 

“It's not Quinzel any more Batman, it's Harley Quinn and I know exactly what I'm doing and why...do you?” 

Harley took a swing at him, her teeth bared in rage. Batman leaned back, just barely avoiding the knuckles of her fist. She hissed and took another swing, but Batman grabbed her wrist twisting her around, her arm trapped between her back and his chest. 

“Dr. Quinzel! Harleen! Let me help you!” 

Harley hissed over her shoulder at him. “I don't need your help! I have my puddin and he is all the help I need!” 

She surprised Batman by wrapping her free hand around his arm, and dropped her weight in a sudden movement he wasn't prepared for. She dropped to her knees and threw him over her shoulder, (a little move she had learned in self-defense classes she had taken ages ago). Batman flew over her shoulder, though he rolled with the move, easily coming to his feet turning around to face her. He stared hard at her. He had just underestimated her, something he would not do again. 

“I see we are going to have to do this the hard way.” Batman sighed. But no sooner were the words out of his mouth than he heard Bane. 

Bane quickly tired of watching the interaction between the Joker's woman and his old foe. He roared, “Fight me Batman!” 

Harley snarled and yelled back. “I was fighting with him first, you big gorilla!” 

Bane took a large step toward Batman, his giant fist swinging at the same time. Batman dodged, just barely avoiding having his skull smashed in. As Batman ducked a backhand from Bane, he saw Joker standing behind Bane. Joker waved with his fingers. 

“Hello there Batsy darling!” 

Batman's lips pressed together, clearly irritated, but then suddenly his weight shifted causing him to stumble forward as Harley jumped on his back, her arms going tight around his throat. 

Bane snarled. “Leave him woman! He's mine!” 

Harley yelled back. “Go find your own Bat, this one's mine!!” 

Joker sighed. 

“Can't we play nice kids? I suppose not...but you know Bane, Batman isn't yours. I mean you're fine and all, but really—Batman is mine, always has been, always will be,” he said matter-of-factly. “Though I will share with Harley.” 

Joker grinned as he grabbed his cane from the booth, where just moments before he and Harley had been enjoying their evening. He turned and used it like a bat to strike 

Bane across the back. The cane snapped easily in two leaving the Joker holding the stump. 

Bane snarled and turned to take a step toward Joker who muttered, “Oh shit.” 

Bane backhanded Joker sending him flying backwards across the room. Joker slammed into the wall hard enough to leave a Joker size hole in the wall. Harley screamed even while Batman was struggling to get her off. “LEAVE MY MISTAH J ALONE!!” 

Batman struggled in a circle as he tried to grab at Harley; her grip was surprisingly strong. At the same moment Bane lunged, snarling. 

“The Batman is mine woman!” 

Batman had just thrown Harley over his head to slam her into Bane at the same moment that Bane hit Batman hard send him skidding across the floor with Harley still mostly hanging on to Batman though she only had a tentative grip on his shoulder. 

* 

Harley winced in pain when she and Batman slammed against a table. She stumbled to her feet, shoving herself away from Batman. Bane snarled, “Get away from here woman!” 

He hit Harley. His backhanded strike sent her flying across the dance floor to crash into a set of chairs that miraculously were still standing. She collapsed unmoving, blood running from one corner of her mouth. 

* 

Joker giggled as he struggled to get to his feet. “He always could pack a punch,” he muttered to himself, wincing at the bruises he was definitely going to have and the pressure cut that ran the length of his cheek. 

He wobbled a little as he looked around, trying to get his bearing when he saw Harley unmoving by some tables while Bane and Batman were engaging in a dance on the dance floor it seemed. 

Joker hissed in anger as he rushed over to Harley. She had just started to move with a loud groan when Joker dropped down beside her . 

“Hey there my Harley-girl. How ya doing slugger?” 

He helped her stand and Harley grinned. “I'm good Mistah J...” She wobbled and he wrapped an arm around her waist to hold her steady when they both heard the sounds of police sirens. 

Joker sighed and rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Oh just peachy...Gotham's finest. Party crashers,” he growled. 

* 

Batman rolled to his feet and immediately ducked just as Bane took a swing at him. Bane missed and roared, hitting the dials on the back of his hands sending more venom pumping through his veins. Batman could see Bane's size increase along with the crazed expression in his eyes. Batman sidestepped another swing from Bane just before he shot his grappling hook, pulling himself up and out of Bane's reach. But as Batman flew up away from Bane's grasp,he released the hook at the last moment to land on Bane's back. 

Bane snarled turning in a circle for a moment as he struggled to reach for Batman who only barely managed to avoid the huge man's clutching hands. The two of them went round and round as Bane struggled to reach him while Batman looked for a way to deny Bane his venom. 

* 

Joker turned toward the sounds of fighting to see Bane and Batman playing. For a moment he had to laugh, Bane resembled a dog chasing its tail as he struggled to reach Batman, who in turned looked like he was riding a bucking bronco. Joker narrowed his eyes and a slow smile formed on his face as an idea occurred to him. 

Harley, her arm around him, glanced at his face and then back at the fight. “Puddin?” 

As she studied his expression she could see the wheels turning as her clown came up with an idea. 

Joker turned to her. “Bane is going to help us escape my dear.” 

* ,p>Batman was wrestling with the tubes that ran from Bane's head, arms and through his back, trying his best to pull the connections that fed the venom directly to Bane, but the tubes were reinforced and firmly embedded. And Bane's questing hands reaching back to try to pull him off did not help Batman's situation. Suddenly Harley ran in front of Bane, a bright grin on her face, hair wild and unkempt. 

“Hey KING KONG!! You can't handle B-man can you! Hell, you can't even handle me!” She put her thumbs in her ears, sticking her tongue out as she shook her hips. 

“Nanana boo boo yeah, big lummox!!” 

Bane was already in a rage, but Harley's words drove him mad. He roared. “I'm going to kill all of you!!!!” 

Harley took off running, giving Bane the middle finger as she did. She ran past the remains of the bar glancing back to see if Bane was following. 

Bane reached back finally getting a hold of Batman's cape. He ripped the Bat from his back and threw Batman wildly at the same moment that he charged after Harley who was laughing as she ran from him. 

When Harley came to a certain part of the bar, she jumped over the counter and disappeared over the bar top. As soon as she disappeared, Joker popped up with a bright grin on his bloody lips. 

“Hey there sweetheart!” Joker waved and just when Bane was in reach, the clown squirted his flower at the huge man. Acid leapt out to splash onto Bane's chest and burn a trail into the bar and the floor. 

Joker laughed and ducked back down as Bane roared grabbing the bar counter, lifting it up and throwing it into the wall only to see that Harley and Joker were gone. 

“WHERE ARE YOU CLOWNS!!! I DON'T CARE WHAT STRANGE WANTS!!! YOU'RE BOTH DEAD!!!” 

Batman pushed himself to his feet, wobbling just a little and turning just in time to see Bane pick up the bar counter and throw it across the room. He then saw Dr. Quinzel pop up just a little further down from Bane and start throwing drinking glasses at the enraged man to draw his attention in her direction. For a moment, Batman was confused by what was going on. He then spied Joker closer to the other end of the room, jumping up and down and waving his hands in the air. “Come on Brutus, this way!” 

Bane snarled and turned to face Joker. 

Batman frowned in a moment of confusion, it looked as if Joker and Dr. Quinzel were...herding Bane, trying to get him over to a particular spot. Then Batman heard the loudspeaker and Commissioner Gordon's voice. 

“Bane, we know you're in there! Come out quietly. The charge will only be vandalism and destruction of property. No one has gotten hurt yet. Don't add to your charges!” 

Bane didn't even hear the commissioner as he took a swipe at Joker who stumbled backwards trying to avoid the slap, but it caused him to trip over a chair in his effort to get away from Bane. Joker went down hard and for a moment it looked like Bane was simply going to stomp him, but Harley screamed picking up a chair. “HAVE A CHAIR TO THE FACE!!!” 

The chair hit Bane in the side of the head, successfully drawing his attention back to Harley despite causing no damage to the massive mercenary. She made a pig nose at him using her thumb to pull her nose back and stuck her tongue out as well as crossing her eyes, just before she gave him the middle finger again. 

Harley took off across the club heading toward the front of the place. Bane turned and started to charge toward her, but hesitated. Even with all his anger, common sense kicked in enough to stop him from simply charging headlong after Harley. 

When he started to take a step, backing away, Joker emerged from the darkness just ahead of him. 

“Hey there!” He waved. “You know, I never forget a face, but for you Bane I would gladly make an exception.” Joker gave him a huge grin. Then he took off at a run. Bane snarled. “Stupid clown.” 

Instead of running after them, Bane walked at a deliberate pace, searching. Batman took this opportunity to use his grabbing hook to elevate himself above Bane and the others. The shadows near the ceiling hid him while he tried to form a plan to stop Bane. Once he was covered in darkness, he pulled out one of his batarangs...he needed to cut the tubes feeding Bane his venom, but he didn't think the batarangs were sharp enough. He also glanced around trying to figure out Joker and Harley's game. Clearly they were trying to enrage him and herd him, but to what end? Neither of them could take Bane on their own... 

* 

Joker ducked into a darkened corner with Harley. Bane wasn't charging in a blind rage now...Joker narrowed his eyes in thought. Alright...clearly Bane had some intelligence. 

Joker put his arm around Harley and pulled her close, his lips against her ear. 

“I think my sweet, we are going to have to become more aggressive in order to guide our bull to the door.” 

Harley smiled as the feel of his lips against her ear made her shiver. 

“What do you want me to do puddin?” 

Joker grinned. “There is a lot of alcohol here, isn't there sweets?” 

Harley nodded. “Yup, a lot.” 

“And the more potent alcohol is quite flammable...right?” Joker giggled. 

Harley started to giggle too. “Why, yes it is puddin.” 

“I think we should make it so our large friend has no place to go, but out the front.” Joker giggled then pulled Harley in for a kiss. His tongue in her mouth had her groaning with need. For a moment they wrapped themselves around each other, their kiss becoming deadly passionate until finally breaking away, Joker shoved her away from him with effort. He clearly didn't want to stop the kiss, but there were more important matters to take care of at the moment...then he could continue exploring where the kiss would go when they were safe. 

He smiled. “Go find yourself a lighter pumpkin, the bar...or what's left of it should have one.” 

Joker pulled out his own lighter from an inner pocket of his jacket, taking out one of his cigarettes as well. 

“Let's start a fire.” He grinned. 

* 

Batman swung to another darkened corner, keeping an eye on Bane who was looking for Joker, Quinzel or him. The big man became more and more agitated as he searched, but he was clearly trying to keep his temper in check. Batman saw movement below, to his right. He saw Quinzel dash across the dance floor, heading toward the mostly demolished bar. She ducked back behind the remains of the counter then he lost sight of her. He looked around for Joker, though there was no sign of him. He was thinking he might try to jump on Bane again, test the batarangs' edge on the venom tubing, when he saw movement. He didn't see who it was but he guessed it was Harleen again. All he knew was that the next thing to happen was that Joker stood up from somewhere in the shadows and walk out slowly where Bane could see him, smoking a cigarette casually as if he was simply having a Sunday stroll in the park. 

Bane saw Joker and snarled as he turned to face him. 

“I am done with your games clown. I'm killing you, then the Batman, and then Gotham is mine.” 

Joker took a drag off his cigarette grinning. 

“Strange know about all this? I mean, your plans to take over Gotham...again...I mean geez, don't you have better things to be doing in better places?” asked Joker with a perplexed expression. “I mean, don't get me wrong. I love Gotham myself—love that industrial smell, the pollution in the air, the morning smog, the smell of decay in Gotham's ruling elite...the pleasant and oh-so corruptible Gotham City police force....the rotting underbelly of Gotham's mob families. What's not to love?! Right? But why do you want this place so much that you are willing to forgo your contract....or is it not money, but ego that drives you? Gotta be the best? Batman and me...we just really make your ass twitch don't we? Always just that much better than you...” He blew out a long trail of smoke, walking slowly in a semi-circle around Bane who flexed and unflexed his giant hands, his nostrils flaring as his anger grew again. 

“I know what it is...inferiority. Ain't that right sugar?” Joker glanced behind Bane and Harley popped up to sit seductively on a table. 

“That's right puddin...when a man acts like Bane, he usually feels inferior in other departments of his life...you know...” She put her hands up and made a rude gesture with a finger poking in two fingers she was holding up in a circle of her other hand. 

Bane snarled, but Harley continued. 

“Usually a guy who has to be so muscly...yeah...it's classic inferiority complex, lacking in the penis department...can't get it up, too small....” Here she wiggled her pinky. 

Joker started laughing. “Oh Harley, you are evil! Hitting a man right where he hurts the most.” 

Harley continued to giggle. Bane kept looking between the two of them. 

“So Bane, is my Harls correct? Is that why you agreed to work for Strange? Penis issues, had to try to take out me and then Woopie! If Bats showed up...which he always does, you get a twofer?” 

Joker giggled. “ Or is that a ménage à trois?” Joker seemed lost in thought for a moment before he continued. “How small is it, really?” Joker looked pointedly at Bane's crotch. 

Bane growled. “I'm going to tear your head off!” 

Harley, having found a lighter behind the bar for firing up drinks like a Flaming Lamborghini or a Bailey’s Comet grinned, signaled her puddin that she was ready. She leapt off the table and started to kick and throw the bottles of liqueur she had arranged on the floor in front of her while Joker had Bane's attention. Then, with a wicked grin she lit the whole thing on the fire. 

Joker started laughing hysterically. 

Bane turned at the sound of the fire, then he turned back toward Joker who was holding a bottle of whiskey, a piece of cloth stuck in it and a light in his other hand. 

“You know...Noel Coward said to never trust a man with short legs, his brain is too near his bottom...and Bane, I'm afraid for all your mass...you have short legs.” 

With a waggle of his eyebrows, Joker lit the cloth on fire and threw the bottle at Bane.


	19. Playing With Fire

The bottle struck Bane, crashing against his chest, shattering with a tinkle of glass that instantly engulfed him in flames. Joker started to laugh so hard that he bent over grabbing his knees. Harley dashed around the the burning Bane on her way to Joker, when suddenly a rope wrapped around her snapping her arms to her sides and causing her to lose her balance. Her feet flew out from under her, dropping painfully to the floor. Harley let out a scream as she was yanked off her feet and pulled backwards into the air and away from Joker. 

Joker, wiping away tears, looked up when he heard Harley's scream. 

Joker cursed. “Damn it Batsy.” 

Joker pulled out one of his blades completely ignoring the burning Bane who was occupied with trying to pat the flames out before he was damaged further. Joker walked past Bane as if he weren't there looking up into the darkness where Batman still hid. 

Joker giggled. 

“Batsy Batsy Batsy....come out and play baby.” 

The fire alarms started to blare and suddenly the sprinkler system sprang to life drenching Joker and Bane along with the most of the fire. 

Joker laughed. “Oh come on Batsy! You're not the type to use a prisoner! Let her go! Besides, if you're going to take someone prisoner it should be me! Has our relationship meant nothing to you?” 

Joker laughed again as he continued to walk around slowly, peering into the shadows through the falling water. 

* 

Near the ceiling Batman had Harley; he had tied and gagged her quickly and efficiently, but she was struggling to the point that she was becoming a danger to them both. The caped crusader was having a difficult time holding onto to her and prepared to tie off her bindings to a crossbeam when Joker called out. 

“Poopsie,” he said with a question in his voice. “Tell Daddy where you are!” 

Harley struggled so vigorously that Batman thought that holding onto a greased pig would be about as easy as keeping a grip on the Joker's moll. Underestimating her physical prowess and with gloves wet from Harley's soak in the sprinklers before he pulled her above the deluge, she had slipped from his grasp plunging down to the floor below. Batman dropped from his perch to catch her. 

Joker saw her falling out of the darkness. “HARLEY!” he yelled in what sounded to Batman like genuine concern. 

Batman wasn't fast enough as the bound and gagged Harley fell like the dead weight her bound form presented; Batman's fingertips just missed her. Joker, however, surprised Batman...Joker ran for her and dropped to his knees sliding thorough the burning alcohol and broken glass to catch her. When Harley's weight hit Joker, they both went down. 

Joker laughed despite the obvious pain of catching her had to have caused them both. 

“Oh, I think we should get a 10 out of 10 for that performance!” 

Batman dropped down to land on his feet accompanied by the sound of crunching and splashing as he landed on broken glass lying on the wet floor. Before Batman could utter a warning to Joker, Bane was on him. The big man roared in pain and it was clear from the burns on his body and the madness in his eyes, he was far beyond the ability of words to reach him. 

He came up on Batman unfolding out of the darkness of the club to backhand Batman out of the way and send him flying across the room. 

“I WILL KILL YOU CLOWN!!” Bane roared. 

Joker giggled, his eyes going wide for a moment as he threw Harley over his shoulder juggling her weight for a moment. 

“Was it something I said?” Joker grinned and raced toward the club doors with Bane on his heels. At the last possible moment, when Joker could see the white of Gordon's eyes waiting outside with what looked to be all of the GCPD, in a move that would have impressed even Batman, Joker threw himself to the side sliding until he slammed into the wall just as Bane, unable to stop his forward momentum crashed through the doors and into the arms of the waiting police. 

Giggling, Joker regained his feet just as the sound of gunfire echoed in the street outside. Batman lost sight of Joker and Harley just as Bane crashed through the doors. He needed to hurry before someone, either the police or Bane were hurt. 

* 

Still carrying Harley, Joker headed toward an exit near the back of the bar as the fire continued to spread through the building despite the work of the sprinkler system. He could just barely see the red sign as the smoke grew thicker. By the time he had reached the exit, Joker was coughing. Harley was having trouble breathing too; he could feel the way she was struggling, but he didn't have time to ungag her yet. Joker stumbled just as he reached the door shoving it open and nearly falling out of it onto the pavement outside. 

He pulled Harley around yanking her gag off and using his blade to cut through the ties that Batman had on her with a laughing cough. “Free as a bird!” 

He lifted her to her feet throwing one of her arms over his shoulders while he wrapped his other arm around her waist. They were both coughing roughly and they couldn't move quickly. Joker chuckled and ground out between coughing gasps, “We are not going to get away at this rate...” 

Harley coughed hard enough that her eyes watered. “We need to hide,” she choked out, every breath burning as she inhaled. 

Joker nodded giggling. “Keep walking—we'll find someplace.” 

* 

Bane roared as bullets bounced off of him like drops of water. He had pumped himself to the limits of the venom as he hit one police car sending it rolling and cops scattering. 

Batman dropped down behind Bane. He moved immediately to run and leap onto Bane's back. 

“Everyone watch out!” he yelled. 

The Gotham police scattered, but not too far as Batman struggled with Bane. Some of them wanted to help their city's caped crusader whereas more than a few wanted to see how the battle between the brutish Bane and Batman played out. 

Batman scanned Bane's back; he still had to cut off the mercenary's supply of venom. Bane roared in rage, blindly lashing out at whatever he could find, whatever happened to be in his path. Batman yanked out his explosive gel from a compartment on his utility belt and while maintaining a hold on to Bane with his other hand, he sprayed the thick substance onto the connections where the venom pumped into Bane veins. Batman only barely managed to put the gel on two of the connections before he was forced to leap off of Bane or risk being caught by the oversized man's grasping hands. 

* 

Joker and Harley struggled to vacate the area that had become so popular with the police, Bane, and the Bat. They hadn't gotten far however, as they could still hear the sounds of the sirens and the fight that was still in full swing in front of the nightclub. Joker stumbled keeping his hold on Harley when he noticed an old apartment building. He half-dragged and half-carried Harley along the sidewalk until he reached the front of the building. He coughed as he snarled, “Open sesame!” and pushed on the door, stumbling inside. Harley was dragging, having trouble keeping her feet. One of the doors on the first floor opened before the clowns had made it to the stairwell. A middle-aged balding man poked his head out of into the opening between door and frame, glaring at them. 

“Who the fuck are you?” he snarled. 

Joker set Harley down and walked over to the man leaning a hand on the door frame. “Well, my girl and I have had a rather rough night. I don't suppose you would mind us resting up with you?” 

Joker smiled and choked back a cough. 

The man gave him a disgusted looked. “Get the fuck out, you tramp and take your whore with you.” 

Joker chuckled, then coughed again. 

“Thought you might say that. It really is sad the lack of hospitality in Gotham.” He sighed forlornly just before he moved swiftly, his hand coming up to cover the man's throat and force him back into his apartment slamming him up against the far wall avoiding a threadbare couch. Joker smiled as he adjusted his hold, wrapping both hands around the man's head and slammed his skull against the wall, once, twice, three times hard until not only did he left a dent in the hard plaster and brick wall, but Joker also left a bloody stain. Joker released the man, letting the body drop to the floor with a sigh of relief. 

“That was harder than it should have been. I'm definitely tired.” Joker groaned and stretched his arms over his head before he went back out into the hall to gather up Harley. 

* 

They both flopped onto the old couch in the old man's apartment. Harley frowned. “I smell like smoke and alcohol.” 

Joker giggled. 

Harley stood up unsteadily and Joker watched her walk away. Her dress was a mess, but he grinned with a quirked eyebrow. She still looked good. 

After a few minutes Joker thought he heard the sound of water when Harley came back into the living room. 

She reached over the back of the couch taking his hand. “Come on puddin, we're going to take a bath.” 

Joker let her pull him to his feet and he followed her through the dingy apartment to the tiny bathroom. 

The bathroom was still stuck in the 1970's with its sunflower-yellow sink, bathtub and toilet. The shower curtain was a plastic thing of the same shade that was so old that it was stiff and crinkly. 

Harley had run a tub of warm water. The former resident, despite his other numerous flaws apparently liked taking bubble baths, because Harley had filled the tub with bubbles. 

“I tried the shower, but the shower head isn't working so I thought, oh well a bath might be nicer.” 

She gave him a grin before she motioned at him with her finger. 

“Strip,” she ordered. 

Joker gave her an amused expression, but he did as she ordered and started to strip out of his torn, burned clothing. 

The two of them stripped down, tossing their clothing into a pile before they eased into the tiny tub. The tub was just barely big enough to hold them both, but they managed. Harley had Joker sit with his back to her, one arm resting on her raised knee, the other on the edge of the tub. She immediately grabbed up the bar of soap and started washing and rubbing his back. 

Joker let out a deep groan of pleasure. “Now that is nice Harls...real nice.” 

When she would get too close to a cut or bruise Joker would wince, but otherwise he was enjoying her attentions. 

“Ow...” he muttered. 

Harley giggled. “There anywhere you don't hurt puddin?” 

Joker laughed. “Oh a few choice spots...tender spots that could use a sweet touch,” he clarified. He leaned back against her, turning to steal a kiss. 

Harley started to giggle too. “You are so bad, Mistah J.” She took some bubbles placing them on the tip of his nose. Joker giggled blowing the bubbles off. 

She ran her soapy hands around him, stroking her fingertips along his stomach feeling the muscles contract with her caresses. She traced his body lower, playing with the curling hair at his groin which caused him to make soft moans of appreciation. She ran her hands along the inside of his thighs (as best she could reach considering the small size of the tub and her position behind him). 

“Yes, yes I am Harley. Very, very bad.” He cooed, then groaned softly when she started to wash his genitals. “Hmm...now that feels nice Harley.” 

Harley smiled. She was sore and tired too, but she was never too tired for him and hearing the soft groans while she touched him energized her more than a good night's sleep ever could. 

She ran the pad of her thumb over the head of his quickly swelling erection before removing her hands. “Let me wash your hair, then I can clean off too.” 

When she spoke, her voice was heavy with want. Joker nodded with a smile, letting Harley pour the shampoo onto his hair and begin to massage his scalp. He groaned in pleasure, only wincing a little when she rubbed her fingers where his head had hit the wall, the floor... Joker hissed softly. “Bane likes to play rough and not the fun kind of rough.” 

Harley giggled. “Yeah he does, the mean old brute, picking on my puddin!” 

Joker laughed. “Yeah, the brute.” 

She rinsed him off using the cup that was in here for that sort of thing. 

Joker laid his head against her shoulder smiling. “You're turn pumpkin pie.” 

He pushed himself to his feet motioning with a finger for her to turn around. When they sat back down he pulled her gently up against him taking the soap. He slowly caressed her with soapy hands tenderly washing her breasts, cupping them and squeezing. Harley moaned heavily in delight; his hands felt good against her skin. Joker knew exactly how to manipulate her body. When he touched her, all her bruises, cuts and scrapes were forgotten—all she could feel was the heat of his hand between her thighs, the tickle of his breath against her ear. 

He kept one hand on a breast, the other snaking down between her legs. Joker caught the lobe of her ear between his teeth while his fingers started to stroke and explore. 

Harley moaned. 

“Oh puddin...” 

“Mmm...Harley...” 

He rubbed with careful movements of his fingers creating small circles against her clitoris. Harley laid her head back against his shoulder, one leg coming out of the water to hook over the side of the tub. Joker growled pinching her nipple with just the right about of pleasure and pain. She was like porcelain even in the harsh yellow light of the bathroom. Smooth—only he could touch her...his... 

He licked her ear. “Do you like that doctor?” 

Harley moaned. “Yes Joker...yes...” 

“You have to come for me before I wash your hair my sweet...” His voice was a purr that reverberated along her skin like an extra caress, tickling its way to her very core. She could get off just listening to him talk. Especially when he whispered. “Come on Harley...for me...” 

Her back arched like a bow's curve, her breath coming out in a long mewl of pleasure wrapped around the name of the only man she would ever love. 

“Oh JOKER!!” 

Water splashed out of the tub when she moved and Joker started to laugh. His Harley coming was the most wonderful sight in all the world. 

“There ...feel better darling? Now I will finish washing you.” He giggled, licking the back of her ear. 

“Oh puddin...” She giggled. 

* 

Joker finished washing her. They played a little, splashing water and blowing bubble until they had made a complete mess of the bathroom. Together they toweled each other dry. The very moment they finished, Joker cupped her face between his hands tugging her closer. His mouth covered hers, tongue tracing the shape of her lips. He continued, caressing her teeth with his tongue just before he plunged his tongue into the warmth of her mouth. His long fingers wrapped around her neck, his thumbs caressing the underside of her jaw as he kissed her. She would have gladly melted into a puddle right on the spot and given herself over completely to him, but Joker had other ideas and lifted her up. Harley wrapped herself around him, burying her face against his neck. Joker wrapped his arms tight around her figure and carried her into the apartment's single small bedroom. 

The bedroom was small, like the rest of the apartment with only a twin size bed occupying the tiny space. It lacked a headboard or foot-board, just a mattress on a frame. The bed was covered with blankets all of which looked surprisingly clean. Joker crawled onto the bed laying Harley down just before he dragged his fingertips lightly down her body. He sat back on his knees gazing at her with the hungry look of a predator. He eased down to the foot of the bed pulling her with him until he had her positioned where he wanted her. 

His voice was a whispered purr that caressed her very soul when he commanded, “Tell me that you love me Harley...tell me how much...” He giggled. He wanted to hear her surrender... 

He dropped to his knees and his eyes pierced hers when he placed his long fingered hands on her knees and spread her legs. He leaned in, his eyes never leaving hers, his breath warm and seductive. 

“Tell me you want me Harley...tell me you need me...” 

“Oh puddin...I need you. You make me ache for you...” 

She reached down to stroke his face. He grinned, that smile that promised mischief just before he pressed his lips to her clitoris. Harley took in a shaking breath, but then he started to kiss her. His lips and tongue glided over her folds, her core...he kissed her like he did her mouth, using his tongue to twirl, flick and caress. His tongue was warm and wet, twisting and rolling over her to the delight of both of them. Harley's fingers tightened in his thick hair, her hips rolling with his kisses. 

“Oh Mistah J!! I love you!! I love you!!!” 

She climaxed with a cry, her pelvis thrusting, rolling against his mouth. Joker grinned and she was vaguely aware of the smile on his lips. His kiss continued going deeper, accompanied by nips and sucking that was sure to leave a bruise, but oh, she didn't care! He licked and then flicked his tongue over her sensitive nub which only caused her to erupt again tugging tightly on his hair. 

Then suddenly, surprising her, Joker shot up. She nearly toppled off the end of the short bed. Joker laughed as he reached out for her hand. 

“Come here baby.” 

He pulled her to her feet turning to sit down on the edge himself. He grinned at her winking. 

“Come sit on Daddy's lap, baby.” 

Harley squealed straddling his lap, reaching down between them to hold his erection steady. Joker grabbed her waist grinning into her eyes while she slowly lowered herself down on him. Harley moaned. 

“Oh puddin...oh yeah...” 

Joker moaned, feeling how wet she was, warm and enveloping him as she sank down. He shuddered groaning with pleasure. 

“Harls...” 

Joker spread his legs, his hands holding tight to her waist. He leaned his head down to run his tongue over her nipples, suckling, flicking his tongue over the sensitive nubs until Harley was nearly writhing. She dug her nails into his shoulders sure she was going to leave marks. Her hips undulated, thrusting, fucking while Joker licked, then bit down on her nipple which had her screaming when another climax crashed over her. 

Joker grinned, laughing when he felt the gush of fluids over him. 

“That's right Harley...come for me...come for your puddin...” 

Harley groaned. “Oh God Mistah J!!” 

Joker closed his eyes for a moment focusing on how good she felt. 

“Harley...yes Harley...harder...” 

One of his hands snaked up her body to squeeze her breast while she raised her hips up, then down almost losing him before she came crashing down around him. Harley groaned, feeling the way he swelled inside her. She tightened her hold on him, feeling her lover shudder, until Joker stiffened then with a long groan he erupted. Harley gasped continuing to fuck him hard and fast taking everything he had...Joker grabbed her hips holding on as his torso fell back against the bed. 

“Oh yeah, Harley!!” 

She didn't stop; she just kept moving until she had taken everything from him, until she was a panting, writhing mass; every nerve-ending in her body was on delightful fire. 

Joker's eyes rolled as he squeezed his lids tightly closed. She wouldn't stop and it was the most delicious torture! He jerked and groaned as Harley kept moving. He dug his teeth into his lower lip feeling her squeeze, tightening around him until she cried out with another orgasm causing Joker to groan with pleasure. For a brief moment he thought how coming again might just kill him. What a way to go.... 

She finally collapsed on top of him exhausted. 

Joker wrapped an arm around her and giggled. 

“My spitfire...” 

Harley giggled in return. “My puddin...” 

* 

They stayed the rest of the night in the tiny apartment, stuffing the corpse into a closet. 

Harley smiled, nestling into Joker's arms as her head rested against his chest. Everything was quiet when Harley whispered. “You think they caught Bane?” 

Joker didn't answer right away. He just stroked his fingertips down her arm to her elbow. Finally he spoke. 

“Probably. Batman was there and he wouldn't stop until they had him. He is such a do-gooder,” he said with a ring of disappointment in his tone. “Makes me ill sometimes.” 

Joker chuckled shifting position so that he was on his side facing her. She leaned her forehead against his. 

“You think he will rat out Strange, tell the cops that Strange hired him?” 

She reached over to caress his jaw. 

Joker thought for a moment. “Only if he thinks it will get him anything,” he said finally. “The big oaf will probably call Strange to get him out. Strange will most likely do it. Lot of money invested in getting rid of you my sweets.” 

Harley absently ran her fingers over his chest. “Why?” 

Joker made a contented sound, enjoying her touch. “ Well, clearly my delicious Harlequin, you could ruin Strange's fun. I doubt you were the only one he was driving insane,” 

Joker ventured. “I remember some wonderful times with Strange myself. And, our good doctor doesn't want Bane to rat on him, of course. That would look really bad for our dear doctor to be found paying for mercenaries to come to Gotham just to get a couple of crazies like us!” 

Harley scooted down in order to run her tongue slowly around one of Joker's nipples, then she gently bit the hardened nub with her teeth. Joker hissed, his erection growing hard again. 

“Doesn't Batsy know now? Bane was yelling about Strange during out fight.” 

She turned her attentions to his other nipple making Joker hiss again when she bit him. His hand stroked along her thighs a finger sliding between her legs. He rubbed then sunk his finger into her causing Harley to groan. 

“Hmm...knowing something and having proof are two different things. B-man will want proof before he accuses Strange...Bane's word, I'm afraid, is only as good as Bane...not sure what the exchange value is right now...” Joker giggled, his finger moving in and out of her while he spoke. “But I don't think Bane's word is anything to swear by....” 

Joker added another finger. Harley moaned breathlessly, her hips already thrusting against his fingers. 

“So what are we going to do next puddin?” Harley moaned, her body melting against his fingers and body. 

Joker purred while he thrust his fingers into her over and over. 

“Mmm...well, I suppose we should wait and see. If Strange slips up, we might have to invite him over for dinner...or he might do something else as stupid as hiring Bane...like let some of the patients out to hunt for us. Maybe we should break Bane out...see what he knows...” He giggled as he rolled on top of her, his fingers still moving slowly, but his thrusts were becoming more powerful as his hips rolled with his touch. 

“But right now I want to focus on fucking you again Harley...” 

“Hmmm....puddin!” she squealed wrapping herself around him. 

* 

Strange slammed the phone down. Bane had been arrested. Damn it! Strange flopped back in his chair, yanking his glasses off and rubbing the bridge of his nose. Of course he would have to find a way to bail Bane out or break him out....somehow... 

Strange turned himself around to face his computer. There might be another way...a way to get Joker and Harleen, especially her. She had too much on him...she could bring him down, ruin everything. Strange's fingers ran over the computer...he had several inmates he could use...perhaps with all the trouble Arkham had been having recently, a few well placed escapes were in order? Only after a bit more...conditioning that is....maybe accompanied by some promises he never planned to keep? The insane were so easy to manipulate.


	20. I Knew You Were Trouble

Strange made his way down a set of stairs with his hands folded behind his back. He had made the decision to leave Bane where he was...Bane was not likely to talk; the man had a code of honor he followed. But Hugo knew now that he needed someone more...subtle to retrieve his prizes. Bane had been a huge mistake, too big, too focused on Batman. He needed someone...quiet...someone trained in hunting. Someone who knew how accomplish a task without drawing all of Gotham's attention. 

As Strange made his way deep into the bowels of the asylum, he let his mind wander to his “experiments.” Thinking about the great things he was working on always helped calm his mind. 

The basement of Arkham was a throwback to when the asylum had first been built, with an array of old cells leading off in straight lines into the distance, orderly, neat. These cells resembled the spaces for inmates found in old prisons, with shackles, no windows...holes to place society's unwanted. This is where Harleen would have eventually ended up once her mind had been completely broken, and if Joker hadn't freed her. (Strange wanted her because she was his first patient to ever start out sane...she would have been his greatest achievement if he had been allowed to carry out his experiments to their conclusion!) 

But for now, Hugo would just have to occupy himself with his current “fodder.” 

He had switched his attentions from the merely insane and, thanks to Dr. Quinzel really...he was now focusing on the more “criminally insane.” Twisting, morphing, controlling one of them, creating them into his creature. It was almost as satisfying as turning Dr. Quinzel. Almost, but playing with the mind of a criminally insane person would be...entertaining. 

Strange smiled in contentment. He still wanted Quinzel back and the Joker, whom he had been planning on adding to his little collection after perfecting the treatments. Joker was not someone to handle lightly, after all. For now, he decided to focus on someone new. He had so many choices here at Arkham, but he decided that he still needed to start small. 

Hugo was going to work his way up to controlling someone like the Joker. Everything had to be perfect when the Joker was brought down here...everything. Strange understood that he had to work his way up to controlling any of the more “famous” criminally insane...so he would start with a less well-known patient...still considered among the criminally insane, but someone not as dangerous as say, Clayface. Strange entered his private work room—a room that had once been a medical examination room, but Strange had converted the space into a laboratory. (The concept of having a mad scientist “room” was not lost on Strange.) he saw the man named Calendar Man strapped down on the table in the center of the room. The man's eyes were being held open with a device around his head that was also holding his mouth wide. Calendar Man started to struggle when he saw Strange, which simply made Hugo smile. 

“Ah, I see you're awake my friend,” he said in his calm, even voice. “I really must apologize for bringing you here...you were not my first choice, but you should be feel honored to participate in these experiments.” 

Strange smiled serenely as he walked over to where he had a cooler placed against the wall. He crouched down, balancing on the balls of his feet as he reached over and opened the cooler. Inside were several syringes, each containing an oddly glowing blue liquid. Strange turned to Calendar Man and smiled. 

“I see that the shipment arrived just in time. Shall we begin?” Strange picked up one of the syringes, flicking the glass with two of his fingers before he walked over to the struggling man. Strange took his unwilling patient's arm and injected the glowing liquid into a vein. Calendar Man struggled as his veins began to glow and the substance made its way through his bloodstream until it settled in his eyes turning them into a light glowing blue. Strange smiled. “Interesting.” 

* 

In the early hours of the morning, Strange was smiling as he made his way back up to his office. He was pleased with the results so far. Calender Man was now resting; he would not be ready for a while. It would have been nice to have instant results, but these things took time, Strange acknowledged. Which was why Hugo decided if he wanted Quinzel and Joker back to participate in his evolution of the insane, he would need to hire a professional and Strange knew exactly who to talk to... 

* 

Eduardo Flamingo was a hired assassin. A man who killed without feeling, without remorse and deadly good at his job. What put him in Arkham, instead of Blackgate, was his tendency to eat his victims' faces, a trait many found distasteful. And thus, Eduardo was in isolation at Arkham Asylum. 

Strange made his way down to solitary smiling to himself when he arrived. There were two guards at the door. “And how is our patient this morning?” 

The guards glanced at each other, then the taller of the two spoke. “He's been quiet all night doctor.” Strange nodded. “Open the door please.” 

The shorter guard turned and opened the door, holding it open for the doctor to enter. The guard started to follow Strange, but the doctor held up a hand. “Don't worry. He's still restrained?” 

“Yes sir, he is,” the guard said quietly. 

Strange nodded. “Close the door please.” 

The guard looked uncomfortable, but he did as the doctor requested. 

Strange wrinkled his nose as the smell in the dimly lit room wafted over him as he walked further in. Flamingo was sitting in a corner of the padded room, his arms bound by a straitjacket, but when he saw Strange he leapt to his feet and lunged at the doctor chomping his teeth. Strange surprised Flamingo by snapping his hand out and hitting the man in the throat, knocking the patient backwards and off his feet. Flamingo fell onto his side and started choking as Strange simply stood over him. 

“I want you to listen to me Flamingo,” Strange said, the smile fading from his lips. “I have a job for you. I want you to bring me two people...alive though if they have to be damaged to bring them in, that is fine. The most important part is that they be alive.” 

Still struggling for breath, Flamingo snarled out between gasps. “What do I—get out of—this?” 

“Getting out not enough?” Strange smiled, but he nodded. “Once you bring me who I want, you will be given not just your typical fee, but you will also be provided with a way out of Gotham.” 

Flamingo slowly sat up straighter. “What if I don't want to leave?” 

Strange smiled. “Then I will look forward to seeing you back here Mr. Flamingo...I can never have too many subjects for my experiments.” 

Flamingo glared at him, narrowing his eyes. “My things are with the Gotham police.” 

Strange struggled. “That is your problem. Do we have a deal?” 

Flamingo smiled with a nod. “Who do you want me to bring to you?” 

* 

Joker, wearing only his boxer shorts of bright purple with happy little red balloons all over them, was sitting on the couch of their borrowed apartment watching TV. He had started laughing at some cartoons on TV he was watching while Harley raided the kitchen, squealing with delight when she found box of Lucky Charms that wasn't stale. She came waltzing back in wearing only her bra and panties. She flopped down next to Joker handing him the box after she grabbed a handful of cereal. 

“So what are we going to do now puddin?” she asked before stuffing her mouth with Lucky Charms. 

Joker grabbed a handful. “Already called Frost to have him come pick us up. Told him to bring us some fresh clothing too.” 

Harley snuggled closer to him. “Sounds good.” She giggled at the cartoon laying her head on his shoulder. Joker shifted his arm to put it around her pulling her closer against him. Harley snuggled up against his chest as Joker handed her the box of cereal back. They watched the cartoon until they were both in tears laughing. 

* 

On the other side of Gotham Bane sat in his cell waiting to be transferred to Blackgate where they would be better equipped to hold him, but surprisingly Bane had come quietly after the initial attack on the police cruisers. He hadn't said a word except to ask for his phone call, after which he had grown quiet with a smirk on his lips. Gordon stood outside Bane's cell watching the big man. Bane sat with his elbows resting on his knees, seeming to stare at his feet. 

They wouldn't be able to transport him until this evening. Gordon was hoping holding him would last long enough and he was hoping Batman would be there to help... Gordon was about to leave when Bane spoke. His voice was deep and quiet. At first Gordon wasn't sure he heard him, but Bane whispered, “This isn't over Gordon...none of this is over.” 

* 

Frost arrived, having only gotten lost once on the way to picking up his boss (Joker's directions were not the most clear), but he had a couple of suitcases of clothing and a bag of weapons. He glanced around as he hauled everything up with him before ringing the bell on the outside door and waiting for the intercom. After a couple of seconds he heard a familiar voice through the speaker. 

“That you my darling Frosty?” 

Frost glanced around before pushing the button. “It's me boss.” 

“Well come on in!” 

He heard the buzz and the door popped open. Frost stepped into the stairwell turning to the right of the first door which was almost immediately thrown open. Standing there in her bra and panties was Harley Quinn. Frost's eyes widened for a split second before he quickly turned away. 

“Frosty!!!” She squealed reached forward and dragging him and his baggage into the little apartment. Joker was sitting on the couch, his arms draped over the back of it, his legs out in front of him crossed at the ankle. 

Harley turned grinning at Joker. “Lookie puddin, it's Frosty!” 

Joker dropped his head back with a grin. “Brought everything sweetheart?” 

Frost nodded moving to set the cases on the tiny dining room table. 

“Sure thing boss,” Frost affirmed. “Brought a change of clothes for both of you and the bag is full of weapons.” 

Joker hopped up rubbing his hands together. “They say clothes make the man...or the clown!” He laughed as he walked over and popped open both cases. Joker laughed picking up one of Harley's corsets. “I don't know Harls, think it suits me?” 

Harley growled. “Oh Mama!!” 

Joker giggled. “What do you think Frost?” 

Frost actually laughed. “You can pull off anything boss.” 

Joker blushed. “Aw, you are such a darling.” 

Giggling Joker grabbed Harley. “Come on sweet cheeks, let's go get dressed!” 

Frost watched the two of them grab up clothing heading to the back. Frost stared after them for a moment then he heard the sounds of Harley giggling which caused Frost to grimace. Yeah...he better go watch some TV and try to tune out what he was sure was going to happen. 

* 

Back in the bedroom Joker put on Harley's corset and did a spin. 

“Tada!” He grinned at her. 

Harley squealed. “You look so sexy!!” 

Joker put a hand to his cheek and fluttered his eyelashes. “Oh now Miss Harley y'all are going to make me blush.” Harley giggled some more, walking over to Joker to slide her hands along his hips, caressing the exposed skin between the corset and his boxer shorts. “Well, give me about half an hour I'll make you blush more Mistah J.” 

She rose up on her tiptoes, pressing his groin against hers and pressed her lips against his, her tongue darted out to lick his lips. Joker growled softly. “I do believe you have convinced me Miss Quinn.” Harley giggled and started to unlace the corset. 

“Mmm...well, well Mistah Joker...” she purred, the corset dropping away as Harley followed suit and dropped to her knees pulling his boxer shorts with her. 

Joker drawled, “Oh Miss Quinn, but I'm just so innocent!” 

Harley giggled “Oh well Mistah J let's see if we can't change that!” 

Harley leaned forward wrapping her hand around his erection pressing her teeth into her bottom lip with a sweet but coy grin. “Oh Mistah J....” With a giggle Harley lavished her tongue over him which had Joker groaning. “Oh yes, Miss Quinn!!” 

Harley giggled dropping his boxers to his ankles pulling his hips toward her. “Mmmmmm....” she moaned. 

* 

Out in the tiny living room Frost turned the TV volume up just a bit more, hoping he could drown out the sounds he was hearing. 

* 

About half an hour later, Joker and Harley finally emerged from the bedroom, both of them dressed in their clothing and smiling brightly. Joker ran his fingers through his hair, his smile bright. He was in his usual purple suit, with a dusty pink shirt, green and orange polka-dotted tie, with a heavily embroidered waistcoat and pocket-watch, the gold chain across his stomach, which Harley found classy. Harley was in her bodysuit, of red and black, her matching corset which she had retrieved from Joker on and a pair of thigh-high black boots. She didn't have her hood up over her hair, instead wearing her long white hair down and loose around her petite features. 

Slipping his gloves on, Joker grinned. 

“Come Frost, let us head home! There is too much sunlight out and I have plans to make! People to kidnap and rivals to kill!” 

Frost nodded. “You got it Boss!” 

Harley giggled weaving her arm through Joker's. He leaned down and whispered. 

“I think our doctor friend is upping the game my little minx...perhaps it's time we took things to his doorstep instead of waiting for him to make the next move again. I really don't enjoy surprises unless I'm the one doing the surprise!” 

“Of course puddin!” Harley grinned brightly. 

Frost quickly gathered up their things hauling it all out to the car he had waiting and within moments they were headed back to Joker's hideout. 

* 

Early that evening Batman headed over to the Gotham City police station, there to help oversee the moving of Bane to Blackgate. Bane had refused to say anything more about why he was after Joker and Dr. Quinzel; neither had he given any clue about what Strange had to do with any of this. Bruce didn't trust Strange, but he had nothing to connect Bane to him except Joker and Dr. Quinzel. Dr. Quinzel, despite her actions, was a victim as far as Batman was concerned. If he could get a hold of her, talk to her, maybe he might be able to understand...might be able to find that link to Strange and Bane's appearance. Until then, he was here. 

Blackgate had sent an armored vehicle that included five of their best men, all armed to the teeth. Bane was escorted out of the grim police station under heavy guard. His venom device had been repaired in order to keep Bane alive, but a leveler had been put in place. The only way Bane could increase the amount of venom flowing through his veins was to break the device which would disable the whole contraption, thus killing him. 

As Bane was escorted to the truck, he stopped when he saw Batman. 

“It's good they brought you. Shows a level of respect.” Bane smiled, his mask gone. He was a rough looking man that might have been handsome at one time, but now his features were simly rough and his eyes cold. 

“Are you going to tell me about Strange and the Joker?” Batman asked, knowing the answer. 

Bane smiled. “Nope.” 

“You aren't going to stay in Blackgate for long, you know. They will move you to Belle Reve Prison, maybe even Arkham.” Batman kept his voice neutral. “You help me, neither option will happen. You can stay at Blackgate.” 

Bane laughed. “You act like any of these places matter. No. No, I think I will wait.” 

With that Bane laughed again, letting himself be led onto the truck. 

Batman watched then headed to the batmobile to follow the security detail, his mind whirling as he thought about Bane's part in what was certainly a much larger scheme. 

* 

On the roof of the Gotham City police department, Flamingo watched with a grin. He waited until Bane and the Bat were talking before he moved, swiftly running to the back of the building, leaping across an open space and then lowered himself down to where they kept impounded vehicles. It only took him a few moments to locate his motorcycle. When he found it, Flamingo grinned. The bike was a 2017 Harley Davidson Dyna Fat Bob FXDF painted hot pink and it was gorgeous. He ran his hands in a loving caress over his bike just before he jumped on. 

He sighed with contentment. Having his bike back felt good—this was as it should be. Flamingo closed his eyes for a moment. He had his weapons (which he had liberated from the evidence locker while everyone was watching the movements of Bane), and now his bike. All that there was left to do was bring down his prey. 

He pressed his lips together in a tight smile. He relished the crisp air and the thrill of the hunt, then he started to bike.


	21. Nothing in this World

A few days later, Joker sat at his desk, illuminated by a pale ring of yellow light from the desk lamp that sat in the corner, wearing only his boxer shorts and drumming his fingers on his cheek in thought. Harley was naked, asleep on the bed behind him. He could hear her making soft little sounds in her sleep. Joker turned to watch her sleeping for a moment. She was like a goddess, pure white skin, her hair a thick tangle of pale that highlighted her delicate features and that sexy smile of hers. He giggled softly. His doctor lying naked in his bed...then his mind wandered back to recent events. 

Bane had been...unexpected...which meant Strange was serious about wanting Harley back. Joker had thought once he had her, that Strange would simply let her go, but clearly there was something more going on there at the good old asylum...which meant there was fun to be had! 

Joker needed to know what Strange was doing, not only so that he could stop Strange from continuing to come after Harley (clearly whatever he wanted her for was not something “good”), but who knew? Might be something going on he could have fun with, something that could drive his favorite Bat up the walls! But he needed to make sure Harley was safe...protected. 

Joker frowned. It felt strange worrying about something like that...protecting someone else. Usually he didn't really care...the more to suffer, the merrier! None of it mattered! People died. But with her...he felt...something, and part of him was angry about it. That she would do that do him, but another part of him was actually happy. She was exciting, sexy, exhilarating! Which made him wonder, was he losing his edge? Joker chewed his bottom lip in consternation. Was having Harley around a bad idea? Was she making him weak? 

He turned around to glance over at her sleeping form. Should he just kill her? Give her to Strange? 

As his eyes wandered over her sleeping form, he saw that her hair was a tangled mess across her face when she rolled in his direction. The sheets had fallen from her body displaying all of her...every luscious inch of her...his ex-doctor...now his partner-in-crime. 

Joker smiled slowly...partner-in-crime. Nope, not giving her up he thought. She was too much fun and she belonged to him. His. No one touched what was his...ever. 

He heard Harley mumble in her sleep and reach out for him. “Puddin....?” She pushed herself up on her elbow to smile sleepily at him. 

With a grin, Joker pushed himself up from the desk. He stepped over to stand at the side of the bed, looking down at her. Harley smiled dropping back against the pillows. 

She really is beautiful, he thought with a silent giggle. He grinned sliding his boxers down and crawled back onto the bed. As soon as Harley felt his body next to hers, she wrapped an arm around his waist. 

“Mmmm...puddin...” 

Her voice was soft and sleepy as she pressed her creamy skin against his. She smelled like vanilla cookies. Joker grinned...enough hard thinking!! Time for cookies! Joker nuzzled her neck, nibbling the soft silky skin of her throat while his hands danced down her waist feeling the sweet curves of her hourglass figure. 

He giggled whispering. “Mmm...cookies....” 

Harley made the sweetest little moaning sounds. “Oh puddin....” 

Joker growled giggling as he slipped his hand down her body to her breasts. 

He giggled. “Mmm....soft and squishy!” 

Harley giggled when his hands cupped her breasts. He squeezed them together before his tongue slowly snaked out to circle each of her nipples. 

Harley groaned “Oh puddin...” She ran her fingers through his green hair caressing his scalp. 

His attentions woke her up enough that she began to grind herself against him. 

“Mm...Harley, Harley, Harley....” he groaned, nibbling on her breasts, his teeth gently scraping against her hard nipples causing her to groan and arch toward him. He let go of her breasts and grabbed her around the waist, rolling onto his back, tugging her with him. With a surprised yelped Harley rolled with him. 

Harley smiled tossing her hair back over her shoulder adjusting her position on top of her clown as she grinned down at him. “Morning puddin...” 

Joker laughed, his smile bright and huge as he gazed at his white goddess. He ran his hands up her thighs, his thumbs tracing her groin. 

“I want cookies this morning Harls!!” He giggled yanking her forward. 

Harley laughed. “Cookies?” 

But Joker had already yanked her further up until her groin was aligned with his chin He gave her a wicked grin. “Ooo cookies!!” 

Harley squealed. “Puddin!!” She wiggled, which only made her more enticing. 

Joker pulled her the rest of the way up so she was over him and buried his mouth against her sex. Harley gasped when she felt the sudden warm wetness of his tongue against her. He took a few long, gradual licks before he started to flick his tongue over her clitoris causing Harley to squeal with delight. “Oh puddin!!!” 

She grabbed his head, her fingers tangling in his thick green hair, her hips started to roll against his mouth in slow, easy movements. Joker grinned, licking and nipping as she undulated over him, his long pale fingers pressing into her hips. 

Harley moaned with pleasure letting go of his hair to lean back, her hands on either side of his waist. 

Joker licked deeper, tasting the sweet juices of her orgasm when Harley jerked and gasped. 

“OH PUDDIN!!” 

Her body rocked toward his mouth. One of his long fingered hands snaked up her torso to cup a breast before pinching her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Harley groaned again, closing her eyes giving herself completely over to feeling the hot wet licks of his tongue along with the warm exhales of his breath against her... 

Joker was just groaning against her, her juices dripping down his chin and lips when Harley suddenly jerked away. 

He pouted. “Harls!” 

He didn't get much more out before she had flipped herself around in order for her to be on her hands and knees. She arched her back a bit so she could look back at him giving him a wicked grin. Joker lifted his head with a quirked brow. “Oh I see what you're up to, you little minx!” 

Harley giggled. “Good.” She dropped forward, her elbows on either side of his hips and swiftly suckled his erection. 

Joker's head dropped back with a low guttural groan. “Oh, my stars and garters!” 

Harley giggled twisting her tongue along his silky white erection, licking gradually up with the flat of her tongue before flicking just the tip of her wet tongue over the head of his shaft. She continued until Joker was jerking his hips. 

In retaliation, he grabbed her hips and buried his tongue inside her before he started to bob his head back and forth. Harley struggled; she was groaning, but his shaft in her mouth muffled her delighted sounds. Harley relaxed her jaw, lowering her mouth down on him causing Joker to moan against her, but when she started to pull her mouth back up, very, very delicately scraping the edge of her teeth against his satin, sensitive skin, Joker thought he was going to explode. 

He shoved her forward, sliding himself back at the same time with almost a little too much force. Harley pushed herself up on her hands, grabbing herself. She nearly stumbled right off the bed as she was pitched forward, not too far, but enough that her face planted in the mattress. She pushed herself back up glaring at her lover over her shoulder. “Hey what's the big idea Mistah J?” 

But Joker was scrambling to his knees grabbing her hips and before Harley could mutter another word, Joker had buried himself deep inside her, his crazed mind focused only on fucking her. 

“OH PUDDIN!!” Harley's back arched in a slick, sensual curve, her fingers digging into the sheet as she shoved back against his hard thrust. Joker groaned loudly. She was so darn wet and tight, thrusting into her was the single most pleasurable experience of his life that didn't involve killing or destroying something. 

Joker pressed his fingers into her hips, his thumbs moving over in slow circles as he thrust, burying himself deeply inside her. He squeezed his eyes shut, dropping his head back with a low moan. Harley struggled for breath, squeezing her eyes closed, enjoying the feel of her lover pounding inside her. She dug her fingers into the blankets, arching her back, her hair flowing over her shoulders, unable to form words when she came again. “Aaaaa!!” 

Joker groaned, feeling the way she tightened around him, the fresh flood of liquid, the high pitched yell from her lips was too much. His orgasm started low and raced up through his groin with a burst of pleasure that seemed to pull from every part of his body. Harley tightened around his shaft, crying out on another orgasm when he burst inside her with a growl. “GUURR!” 

He couldn't stop moving, pounding against her backside until he was completely spent. Harley's arms wobbled weakly and she slipped forward with Joker coming along with her. She dropped down, flat on her stomach, Joker spread across her back, his shaft still buried inside her. 

They were both breathing hard, panting, but after a moment they settled down. 

“Mmm...that was fantastic puddin...” Harley cooed softly. 

Joker chuckled. “My sweets....” he purred tracing the lobe of her ear with his tongue. 

After a few more moments of lying like this, pressing against Harley, Joker finally pulled out of her causing them both to groan with the sudden separation. Joker hopped up walking out of the room naked only to come back with some rags for them to both clean up. 

After a moment, he was back in bed pulling her into the circle of his arms. Harley nuzzled against his chest, nipping softly causing him to laugh. For the moment, his worried thoughts about protecting her were pushed away... 

* 

When Joker woke again, he heard Harley talking to someone. He wasn't really concerned; it sounded like a one-way conversation which meant she was probably talking to Bob. Joker thought about how odd it was that Bob would pop up and disappear again...he loved it. A tutu wearing man of mystery! And loyal...a loyalty that couldn't be bought...rare. 

After a moment or two more, Joker opened one eye when he smelled the delicious aroma of food only now realizing how long it had been since he had eaten anything. 

“Hungry puddin? Bob cooked up dinner!” Harley said as she sat back down on the bed. 

When Joker opened his eyes he saw she was wearing one of his dress shirts, a deep lime-green one and nothing else. He grinned admiring the view of her long pale legs as she adjusted herself on the bed, carefully holding a tray aloft. 

Joker yawned and sat up. “So what did he bring?” 

Harley grinned setting the tray on his lap. “Steak and eggs for both of us!” 

Joker laughed. “That man is a gift! I love him!” 

Together Joker and Harley ate, saying little. Harley cut up the steaks, feeding Joker. He giggled lying back against the headboard letting her feed him. After they were finished, Harley moved the tray and curled up against his side. Joker draped his arm along her shoulders pulling her close. 

“I was thinking my sweet. I need to do something to protect you.” 

Harley frowned. “Protect me?” 

Joker nodded. “Yep. Seems I may have underestimated Strange's passion for you. Bane...the big walking Godzilla wanna be, was a...surprise...” Joker giggled. 

He reached over and stroked his long fingers down her chest, then up to trace her jaw. Harley closed her eyes enjoying the feel of his touch before she spoke. “Strange was driving me insane.” she whispered, her voice flat as if she were in a trance. “He wanted to control me...twist me...make me into something new....” Harley's eyes popped open, their blue depths shimmering followed by a bright smile. “But you did that—you changed me.” 

“Oh my little gumdrop...” Joker said quietly, his fingers gliding along her chin. He tilted her face up to his to brush her lips with his own. “Well....perhaps I should hire some more men...or get some guard dogs?” 

Harley sat up. “Guard dogs?! OOOOh can we get hyenas? I'm kidding, but wouldn't that be funny?” 

Joker blinked. “Hyenas?” He laughed, but then slowly a smile spread across his face. “What a perfect idea....you are my perfect little cupcake!” 

Harley squealed as Joker rolled on top of her and startled to run his fingers along her sides tickling her until she was screaming with laughter. 

* 

Outside sitting in the wind along with the heavy drops of rain that had just started to fall, Flamingo chewed on the filter of a cigarette. He was located on top of an apartment building outside the Amusement Mile with several blocks of low-income homes and shops between the closed park and the rest of Gotham. He hadn't picked up Joker's trail yet. The clown had not been seen since the nightclub incident, but from what Flamingo had learned from one of the GCPD, (whose body would not be found for a few days...and even then...identifying who he was would take a while considering he had no face...no fingers...those would not be located...ever), Flamingo smiled at the memory. 

Strange had given him no information to go on, only to bring in the clown, and a woman named Harley Quinn who associated with Joker, back to the asylum. Flamingo had learned that Bane and Joker had gotten into a fight at some club.The transfer of Bane from the GCPD to Blackgate had allowed Flamingo to take his bike back, but while they had captured Bane, the clown had vanished. That left Flamingo with little to go on, but with a bit of digging, (again, thanks to his now dead police friend) Flamingo had a list of possible hideouts—the Amusement Mile being the most obvious one. 

Flamingo had thought luck was with him and that maybe the clown wasn't as smart as he seemed; but when he arrived at the abandoned park, he realized just how big and how much ground that damn place covered, all the multitude of possible hiding places the clown could be...it was looking for a needle in a haystack. 

Flamingo had been very disappointed...if the cop had still been alive, Flamingo would have eaten his ears in front of him for such lousy information. Especially since he had been camped on this God-forsaken rooftop for almost a week now! 

The only people he had seen in all that time was a man, regular, nothing that stood out about him. He drove a boring car and performed mundane tasks. Flamingo had at first thought he was just some vagrant set up inside the abandoned amusement park, but after a while Flamingo had to wonder...which was the only reason he was still here...that man. Well, and the other one...the more...flamboyant one. 

That one was strange...and not just because of his look. He was tall, taller than Flamingo, tall enough that he might have given Bane a run for his money. He was bald and heavily muscled, but the man also wore tutus everyday. 

Flamingo didn't see him much, only a handful of times and each time he was unsure what the man was doing or where he was going. He had tried following him one day, but for such a large man, he was like a shadow; he could seem to disappear at will. It was all very odd, but he was sure there was a connection, he felt it in his bones. Which was why Flamingo was still here, hunting. 

* 

It had taken him a few days to perfect, but Bruce was finally ready to put his plan into action. 

Bruce Wayne arrived at the gates of Arkham Asylum around midday. He was here for a tour before he decided whether or not to make a donation to the asylum. He was also here to plant a virus/bug into the computer system that would allow him free access to the hospital files (which he had already, though this was a more refined program that would also allow him to break into any private or encrypted flies without triggering any alarms, allowing him “deeper” access...hopefully.) Something was going on here at Arkham. The only connections he had so far were Dr. Quinzel, Dr. Strange, Joker and now Bane. He wasn't sure how all of it worked together yet, but he knew the asylum was the place to start. 

The gates opened and the diamond-painted black Jaguar XE purred up to the front doors of the hospital. Waiting for Mr. Wayne outside the main doors were Dr. Jeremiah Arkham, Dr. Hugo Strange and Dr. Joan Leland, all of them standing under their black umbrellas. 

As Wayne stepped out of the car, Dr. Arkhman stepped forward to take his hand. 

“It is such a pleasure Mr. Wayne! A great pleasure. Let me introduce my associates.” Arkham gestured to his colleagues. “Dr. Hugo Strange and Dr. Joan Leland. They are some of our best doctors working closely with the patients and helping in their recovery.” 

Wayne took the hands of each of them giving them a good shake. 

“Pleased to meet you,” Mr. Wayne said shaking Strange's. Wayne took Dr. Leland's hand, shaking it but then he kissed her knuckles. Her eyes lit up and she smiled with a blush. 

“So I hear you are doing great things here...though I had heard there was a break out?” Wayne smiled his playboy smile. 

Arkham suddenly looked uncomfortable. “We have had problems in the past, but we have made some changes to our security to prevent any further issues.” 

Wayne nodded smiling. “Didn't you have someone break in or did I hear that incorrectly?” 

Arkham flushed, but it was Strange who spoke. “Because of the nature of our patients we have had our set of problems, it's true Mr. Wayne, which is one of the reasons our fine institution could use your help.” Strange smiled opening the doors. “Let me show you what we are doing here.” 

******* 

Three nights later Joker came rushing into the bedroom dressed in a purple ringmaster's outfit. “HARLEY!” 

Harley, who had been sitting on the floor wearing a pair of spiral-lensed glasses, one of Joker's dress shirts, only buttoned by two buttons at her stomach, and a pair of red panties, was busy painting her toenails. She jumped smearing nail polish on her toes. 

“Oh shoot.” She sighed but then wolf whistled at Joker. “Oh, you look hot puddin!” 

Joker grinned. “Get dressed my sweet—I have a surprise for you!”


	22. Bud and Lou

Frost had the evening off, one of the rare ones he ever took (with the Joker's blessing, otherwise Frost would be there tonight), so it was Bob who drove Joker and Harley on their little adventure this evening. The two of them were laughing, giggling and making a wide variety of noises in the backseat of the car. 

Bob was very good at ignoring the sounds coming from the back seat. He was also very good at being completely blind to the goings on in the back seat as well. Bob simply, silently, hummed a song to himself, making not a sound while he bobbed his head to music only he could hear while he drove through the dark streets of Gotham heading toward the Gotham City Zoo. 

* 

Joker lay sprawled across the back seat, his slacks unzipped and pulled back, his head laying against the back of the seat, green locks of hair having fallen across his forehead. Harley was on the floor of the back seat, on her knees, running her tongue over him in slow delicious circles, her bright blue eyes danced with mischief. Joker pressed his teeth against his lower lip giggling with pleasure when she lowered her whole mouth down him. She relished the feel of his pale member in her mouth, the silken skin, the hot, hard member against her tongue and lips. Harley wrapped her hand around him, squeezing gently before she started to suck, taking her time, her hand moving up and down gradually. She pulled her lips up the length of him, applying just the right amount of pressure to elicit a deep throated growling moan from him. 

Joker jerked, one leg vibrating for a moment. He reached down to run the fingers of one gloved hand through her hair, not forcing her down, just enjoying the feel of her head moving up and down on him, the soft tresses of her hair running between his fingers. She made a few sweet, slurping noises that had him shuddering all over again. 

He looked down at her, his eyes hooded, watching her, a large smile on his face. Harley smiled back her heated blue gaze catching his while she bobbed her head, feeling his muscles tightening, the jerking of his hips, coming more persistent while he let out another deep groan of pleasure. 

Harley started to use her hand to add additional pressure, while she sucked and licked the head of his shaft, her hand worked up and down, squeezing gently against the thickness of his satiny erection before pulling down again . 

“Uuuuhh...ggrrr...Harley...” Joker dropped his head back lost in the pleasure of her mouth and tongue, her hand, pumping him up and down, the soft, wet sounds of her lips and tongue, the wet warmth of her mouth. Harley could feel him approaching his climax and she wanted desperately to bring him to orgasm. 

She loved doing this for him. There were no words to express the passions, the emotions that this act of pleasuring him did for her. Joker's fingers tightened in her hair, his hips jerking in time with her movements accompanied by his panting groans. 

Harley grinned; he was going to orgasm. She doubled her efforts, ignoring the slight soreness of her jaw, sucking him deeper, harder until Joker let out a moan that sent chills of pleasure down her spine. He came with a burst of hot liquid in her mouth. Harley wanted to laugh. but with him in her mouth she couldn't. Instead she sucked harder, swallowing and licking him, making sure she cleaned every inch of him. 

Joker had completely gone limp, unable to move, his hand dropping from her hair to lay limp at his side while he giggled. 

“Damn Harley...” he whispered then giggled again. 

When Harley was finished, grinning like a particularly pleased cat, she carefully and gently pushed everything back in place, zipping up his slacks for him and climbing onto her limp lover. 

She licked his chin. “You still with me Mistah J?” She giggled tracing his nose with the tip of her finger. 

Joker, still not moving, a lock of his green hair curling against his forehead, his eyes still closed, he grinned. 

“You are so dirty you little minx. I LOVE IT!” He giggled wrapping his arms around her and yanking her closer. Harley squealed when he squeezed her tight against him rocking them back and forth in the backseat.. 

“Now I am just going to have to try to do one better when we get home...” His warm whisper against her lips promised that he was going to do all sorts of things to her when they got home. 

He kissed her, cradling her cheek with one hand, his other arm securely around her waist when the car rolled to a stop. 

* 

The car pulled up in the back parking lot of the Gotham City Zoo. Then Bob turned the car gracefully around, heading to the front of the zoo. Bob glided the car skillfully up to the curb right in front of the main entrance. The entrance was lit by a couple of large street lamps, the bronze sign glowing in the dim light: GOTHAM CITY ZOO. 

Harley squeaked in surprise. “The zoo puddin! I love the zoo!” 

Joker grinned sitting up straight and running a hand over his clothing. 

“I found out that the mated pair of hyenas had babies a few weeks ago. I thought my dumpling might like to go see them.” He popped the door of the vehicle open getting out and tugging her along with him. 

“Bob my man, stay with the car in case we have to make a swift getaway!” Joker grinned when he hopped out and pulling Harley with him. He had his cane along with him this evening and he twirled it with one hand while holding Harley's with the other. 

“Now, shall we go to the zoo my sweets?” Joker asked with a giggle. 

“I would love to Mistah J!” Harley giggled in turn, the two of them walking up to the iron gates. The gates were of course locked; a thick chain was wrapped around the tall iron gates while a padlock held the chain in place. 

Joker leaned down studying the lock rubbing his chin. “Wait here for a moment my delicable cupcake!” 

He strolled back to the car leaning against Bob's window. Harley couldn't hear what Joker said, but he came waltzing back twirling his cane in one hand and holding a small shaped charge in the other. He gave her a grin and a saucy wink as he leaned in to place the charge. He then grabbed her hand and pulled her back giggling. No sooner had they taken a step back than the charge exploded, blowing the lock to pieces. 

Joker laughed. “Tada my sweet! To the zoo!” 

They danced into the zoo holding hands 

* 

The zoo was quiet and the air was cool. The two of them walked through the bear exhibit acting like this was a normal day at the zoo. A few of the bears were outside, but most were asleep, though a few lifted their heads to give the couple inquisitive looks. Harley skipped while she held Joker's hand, swinging their joined hands back and forth, her mind wandering to the last time she had been at the zoo. It had been a LONG time ago...when she was still in a school studying for her degree. A guy she was dating at the time brought her here for an afternoon date. It had been fun. 

The guy had been nice, but he was lacking something...all her past boyfriends were lacking something. Until now she hadn't known what it was she had been looking for; now that she was with Joker she knew exactly what it was she had been missing in all her past relationships. 

Joker was the complete package for her: handsome, charming, strangely romantic and completely and utterly insane, which gave him a view on the world that she could appreciate. She didn't realize that such a darkness dwelled inside her until he showed it to her. Harley grinned happily squeezing his hand. She would never go back to who she was before...never. 

This was the world she wanted, a life of violence, of complete and utter disregard for the rules of society. To live her life without a real plan. Letting her darkness become part of her. It was freeing and it was all because of him. She turned to gaze at Joker who was grinning ear to ear. She smiled remembering something he had said to her. “Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos...” 

That was what she wanted...chaos. 

* 

Outside the zoo, a fair distant from where Bob sat in the car reading a romance novel, Flamingo sat on his bike, hidden in the shadows and frowned watching Joker and his lady enter the zoo. He thought about following them inside...maybe take a chance on taking them inside the zoo, but decided against it. 

The animals were an unknown element. They could be a distraction, an alarm...and with the Joker—unpredictable as he was—the animals might even turn into a weapon. No, he would wait. He had time, patience...wait for the right time. Now that he had picked up the Joker's trail, he could afford to take his time and mould the situation to his liking. He stayed watching for a few more minutes before he hit the gas and took off into the night. 

* 

While Joker and Harley were heading to the hyena exhibit, the two of them stopped to see the lions, tigers and other big cats. The lions were in a display that was more like a large grassy pit, with a cave like entrance that served as the big cats' “den.” The walkway above allowed visitors to gaze down at the lions, but was high enough up that the lions couldn't jump up at the visitors, an oversight on the designers' part, Joker was certain. Joker was leaning on the railing looking down at the lions, a couple of them were outside sleeping. He frowned as he watched them, worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth. 

Harley had her arm though his, leaning on the railing next to him, quietly watching his face instead of the sleeping cats. She could tell he was thinking about something...something that he didn't like or couldn't keep a hold of...her doctor half took hold as she studied him. It was clear seeing the lions had triggered something...or maybe simply hinted at something her puddin couldn't grasp. 

“Something wrong puddin?” she asked softly, her blue eyes intently studying his expression. 

He was staring off, his eyes having that flat quality that meant he wasn't with her at the moment...he was seeing something else...somewhere else maybe... 

For a moment the psychiatrist she use to be popped up, but that also conflicted with her Harley persona. She didn't want to upset him by trying to push past the haze that separated who he was from who he was now...if she was honest, she didn't want him to remember. Harley wanted him to stay how he was now, with her. 

But she felt like she had to ask. 

Harley's voice became softer, gentle. “Do you remember something? Do you want to talk about it?” 

Joker stared for a while longer...it was clear something had triggered a memory, but then just a quickly, whatever it was, faded away like smoke. Joker's eyes cleared and 

Harley's Joker was back with a huge grin. “Wanna hear a joke?” He turned grinning at her. 

Harley smiled back and nodded. “Sure puddin!” 

Joker giggled. “A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him."How do I do that?" he asked."Carefully," replied the vet.” 

Harley giggled. “Puddin!” She gave him a playful shove against his shoulder which made him grab her and yank her against him grinning as he dipped her back for a passionate kiss. 

He pulled back from her mouth, his nose lying against hers as he stared intently at her then whispered. 

“Careful, I bite dumpling.” 

Harley giggled. “I hope so.” 

He grinned lifting a brow quizzically at her before pulling her up and wrapping an arm around her waist. 

“Come along my sweet. Let's go see the hyenas.” 

* 

It had been three days ago that Bruce Wayne had toured Arkham Asylum. What he had been presented with was a well run facility that seemed to care for its patients. Nothing out of the ordinary, which made him more suspicious that something was definitely going on. Too good to be true crossed his mind. But while Bruce Wayne was getting his tour, Batman was taking notice of several things. One, the patients were unusually quiet. That had been the most disturbing thing, Bruce thought. Granted, Arkham was a place that was supposed to be caring for these people, giving them the kind of medical and psychological attention they needed, but it was also a place for the criminally insane. He had expected some kind of...reaction to his presence, but the patients had said and done nothing. Even without a degree in the fields of psychiatry and psychology, Bruce had found their lack of reaction to be eerie. 

The other thing that Batman noticed was that there were doors that he was not shown through. Bruce Wayne would have written it off as just doorways that had access to areas of the asylum that were just for the basic day to day workings of the place, but Batman found it suspicious; what exactly was behind those doors? He had noticed the way Strange would lead him away from those particular doors when they showed up along the tour. Batman assumed—since he had studied the blueprints of Arkham before going to visit as Bruce Wayne—that those doors led to the lower levels...supposedly used for storage. Then why would Strange not at least say that...he never mentioned the doors or where they led, deliberately moving Bruce Wayne away from them, which meant that Batman was going to need to break in and have a look. 

* 

At the same time that Batman was contemplating Arkham Asylum, Strange was watching his subject as the man convulsed on the examine table. The latest injection had caused Calender Man to go through a few changes. Strange smiled, pleased with the progress. All the injections of the serum were based on Bane's venom with some minor chemical alterations. (Strange had managed to get a sample from Bane during one of the man's stays here in Arkham, a bit of information he was careful to keep from Bane.) It wasn't much of a sample, but with gaining access to a sample of Joker venom, and some of Scarecrow's fear gas, Strange had managed to come up with his own serum that he currently had not come up with an appropriate name for, but promised himself, once he saw his test subject in action, he would know exactly what to name the serum. It gave the subject the strength of Bane, enabled Strange to “rewrite” the subject's mind, making him more compliant to Strange's suggestions and will. The added element of Scarecrow's fear gas enhanced Strange's control over the subject, allowing him, with verbal controls, to stimulate that part of the brain that caused a fear reaction. It was quite satisfying. Strange had upped the effect of Bane's venom, causing Calendar man 's physical appearance to alter, becoming stronger. Strange smiled. It would soon be time to test his subject. Now if he could just get Dr. Quinzel down here...a mind he had manipulated from the beginning himself would be interesting to see under the workings of his serum. 

* 

Joker and Harley made their way through the animals of Africa display seeing a few of the animals, a couple of giraffes, some of the zebras and one or two camels until they finally arrived at the open hyena display. 

Harley held onto the railing, leaning over to look into the display. The place where the hyenas were kept was designed to resembled a section of wilderness with fake boulders and scrub bushes along with a few trees. The fake rocks were molded in such a way that in one corner they resembled a cave . It was there that Harley caught sight of shadowy figures moving around within. Harley grinned watching the darkness intently waiting to see if the creatures would come out. After a few minutes of waiting she sighed...nothing happened. 

Joker tapped his chin. “Well, this is boring. Come along dear, I think we need a backstage viewing.” 

Harley giggled following him. Joker strolled over to one of the metal zookeeper doors that led to the back of the enclosure. When they stopped at the metal door Joker picked up his cane and tapped on the door with the head of it making a strange hollow metal sound against the door. 

After a couple of moments the door, making a great deal of noise, swung open. 

Standing in the doorway was a tall slinky man with a soft undistinguished color of yellow hair. His dull face was dominated by a pair of a buck teeth that made Harley think of a squirrel...or a rat. 

Joker bowed. “Well hello Otis, my friend.” 

Otis Flannegan, or Ratcatcher as the police and Batman knew him by, looked pale, his short blonde hair sticking up in numerous directions, though he smiled at seeing Joker. 

“Hey Mister Joker sir, come right in.” 

“Harley, my sweetling, this here is Otis, but he is affectionately know as Ratcatcher.” Joker grinned. Harley waved at the tall man. “Hey Otis.” 

Otis blushed and nodded. “Hey.” 

The man then stood aside and held the door open for them. Joker grinned and reached over to pat the man on the cheek. “Good evening my dear Rat, how's it hanging?” 

Otis smiled weakly. “It's hanging fine Mister Joker. Ah...I got them right over here for you.” 

Otis stepped away from the door letting it swing heavily back into place. He led Joker and Harley down the hall. There were cages on each side, the cement floor wet from having recently been hosed down. The place had the thick musky smell of wild animals, raw meat and waste. 

Harley glanced at the cages. Inside one she would see a cougar lying asleep in the corner and another cage had a very wide awake warthog that made strange snorting noises at them as they walked by. 

Flannegan lead them to a room where most of the equipment was kept. Inside there was a large plastic bin and inside were two young hyenas. 

Harley squealed, immediately dropping down to her knees by the bin. “Oh my gosh puddin look at them!! They are so cute!!” 

She looked up at Otis. “Can I touch them?” 

Otis nodded. “Yeah, they are used to people handling them.” 

Harley grinned brighter and reached in to rub their heads and scratch their ears. “Do they have names?” Harley glanced over her shoulder at Otis. 

Otis nodded. “Yeah, Mister Joker sir named them Bub and Lou.” 

Harley squealed. “Oh that is just perfect!” 

Joker giggled. “Oh they are perfect, good work Ratty!” 

Otis blushed. “Thanks Mister Joker. Uh...I have everything ready for them.” 

Joker smiled putting his arm around Otis' shoulders. “Good boy. Now you have the directions and where to take them. Don't worry, my dear Otis, you will be supplied with everything you need to help my Harley girl take care of them.” 

Harley's head shot up from where she had been cuddling the two baby hyenas in her arms. 

“We're taking them home??!!” 

Joker grinned. “Surprise my sweet cupcake!” 

Harley put the babies back into the box leaping to her feet to throw herself into Joker's waiting arms. “Oh puddin!!!” 

Joker laughed hugging her back. “I wanted the big ones, but Otis here assured me that it would be best to take them young and raise them to be your guards instead. Otis here is going to be coming back to the hideout with us to help you with raising them.” 

Harley stopped Joker from talking then, covering his mouth with hers in a knee weakening kiss. Joker moaned against her mouth wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. Joker thought to himself that he might have to get used to giving gifts to Harley if this was going to be her reaction, it made him feel funny, but he also liked the way she wiggled all over him. 

Otis turned away focusing his attention on the hyenas. 

When she finally pulled away, Harley was grinning at him. “That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever gotten me.” 

Joker giggled and shrugged. “I'm a sweetheart, what can I say.” 

Harley grinned. “I'm going to have to make the drive home even more interesting than the drive here.” 

Joker grinned raising an eyebrow at her as he hooked his arm through hers and turned her back toward the door. 

“Oh? Well do tell?” 

* 

In Blackgate prison, Bane was patient. He was in his cell reading a book, Nietzsche's, Beyond Good and Evil. He had been here at Blackgate now for three days, which was a vacation really, giving him time to read and relax while he waited for his men. 

He was lying on his tiny cot fully absorbed in the book when the alarm sounded. At first he didn't react; he simply continued reading as the alarm's noise was joined by the sounds of inmates getting irritated and yelling. 

A few minutes later he heard the explosion. That caused him to smile. He slipped his bookmark, an old slip of paper, into his book and stood up sliding the book into the back pocket of his prison uniform. He walked over to his cell door to lean against the doorway and wait. He only had to wait fifteen minutes before he saw his men come running down the corridor toward him. 

Bane smiled. Strange may be done with him, but Bane wasn't done with him, or Batman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter but I really wanted to bring the hyenas in on this story. :)


	23. Closer to the Edge

The following evening Joker was slouching on the couch in his purple polkadot boxers, his socked feet (striped purple and red socks) on the beat up little table that served as a coffee table, and wore a white t-shirt that nearly blended into his skin. He was sucking on a lollipop while watching the news. 

Harley was behind the couch playing with Bud and Lou. “Whose a good baby!” He could hear her cooing at the hyenas. 

The woman reporting the news had almost perfectly smooth mocha colored skin and perfectly coiffed dark hair. She was pleasant to look at with a nice easy voice. Joker hated her. 

“Tonight, our top news story: An escape occurred at Blackgate prison last night. Sources state that there was an explosion, but only one prisoner escaped. The inmate is only known by the name of Bane.” Here Bane's photo with the mask on popped up on the screen. 

“Bane is a known mercenary who has the ability to increase his size and strength with the use of the drug Venom. The public is asked to report any sightings of Bane, or other information that would help in his recapture. Citizens are also encouraged not to approach Bane as he is considered armed and extremely dangerous.” 

She turned toward another camera. 

“Now, in other news, a pair of young hyenas have been stolen from Gotham City Zoo. At this time there are no witnesses....” 

Joker pouted taking the sucker out of his mouth. 

“Can you believe Bane made the news? That muscle-headed bull.” 

Joker stuck his sucker back in his mouth folding his arms across his chest and pouted. Harley jumped over the couch to land beside her puddin with a bounce. She had her hair up in pigtails, wearing one of his shirts, a bright orange one, and a pair of black panties along with some slouchy red socks. Bud and Lou, yipping, came running around the side of the couch with puppy glee. 

Harley wrapped her arms around him. “It's okay puddin. They'll get bored with Bane.” 

She laid her head against his shoulder. Joker moved his arms to put one around Harley, popping his sucker out and motioning dramatically with the hand holding the sucker. 

“We should do something. Something spectacular! That way they will stop focusing on Bane so much.” 

Harley frowned. Her voice low she asked, “What about Strange?” 

Joker kissed the top of her head. “Oh it's okay sweetie. Actually...that might be a great thing to do! Kidnap Strange! I can see it now...” Joker held his hands out, having stuck the sucker in the side of his mouth while he spoke. “Arkham doctor kidnapped by patient... the inmates released! All of Gotham, stay in doors! The streets are running with madness!! Hehehe!” Joker laughed kicking his legs, the heels of his feet banging against the table's wooden surface. 

Harley grinned. “We could set up tanks of Joker gas all throughout Gotham and Arkham and release the gas at the moment we get Strange.” 

Joker's grin widened. “You do think big Harley. I love it! Hmm...I don't know if I have enough for all of Gotham, but I certainly have enough for Arkham and a few key places in Gotham.” 

Harley leaned against his chest looking up at him adoringly. “Let's do it puddin!” 

Joker giggled yanking Harley over onto his lap while the hyenas played under Joker's legs. She wiggled until she was straddling him confortably, pressing herself against his quickly hardening shaft. She leaned forward draping her arms along the back of the couch. 

“Tell me again what we're going to do to Strange puddin...” Harley purred rubbing the tip of her nose against his, her hips grinding against him. 

Joker smiled contentedly running the tips of his fingers up and down her thighs his eyes wandering down to her cleavage. “Well, first I am going to pull each of his fingernails out...then I think I will carve him a big happy smile on his face.” 

He growled deep in his throat, his hands sliding up her rear, pale fingers pushed her panties down and squeezed her rear. 

Harley giggled. “Oh puddin, you say the sweetest things!” 

“I do don't I?” He giggled shoving his groin up against her pressing her down at the same time. “OOOoo Harley...” he cooed. 

She giggled pulling the sucker out of his mouth holding it up so he could watch her run her tongue over the lollipop, her eyes gazing at him seductively. His hands moved to her front and started to unbutton the shirt. He pushed the shirt open, sliding the cloth down her shoulders, gazing at her breasts like a kid in a candy store. 

“So creamy...” he whispered before he pulled her closer, his tongue circling the areola of one breast, then the other, before slowly, teasingly sliding across her erect nipples. 

Harley moaned. “I should put the babies to bed first.” 

Joker chuckled then yelled. “RATTY!” 

Within seconds Ratcatcher came rushing into the room. “Yes sir, Mr. Joker! Oh gosh!” Ratcatcher swiftly turned around putting his back to Joker and Harley. 

Joker, his eyes never leaving Harley's, smiled. “Put the babies to bed, will ya?” 

“Right way Mr. Joker sir.” 

Harley leaned down to lick Joker's lips, tossing the sucker over her shoulder while her hips glided along him, pressing herself down, her eyes fluttering as she became wetter and wetter. 

Otis swiftly gathered up Bud and Lou and fled the room. 

Joker grinned slowly. “We're alone now pooh bear...” 

“I know...” her breath was warm against his mouth, the very tip of her tongue sliding along his bottom lip. 

Joker purred. “My little minx...” 

“Mmm...puddin...” Harley ground against him, her fingers digging into his shoulders. 

He giggled sliding his hands up her sides and squeezing her breasts together. “Just imagine it sweets, all of Gotham laughing or at least a good deal of it.” He stroked the pads of his thumbs over her nipples while he spoke and giggled. 

“Mm...Batsy would be so upset, wouldn't he?” Harley pushed his t-shirt up, her hands splayed across his skin, sliding up and down his chest and stomach. “All those people laughing themselves to death...” She giggled. 

Joker growled catching her bottom lip with his teeth, a little harder than was pleasant, but she didn't mind in the least. The pain was just enough to cause Harley groan softly and press herself down harder on him. Joker met her groan with one of his own reaching down between them to free himself from his boxers. His agile fingers tugged her panties aside before shoving Harley down on his shaft with a loud grunt of pleasure. 

“Uuhh...Harley...” He groaned dropping his head back against the couch, feeling the warm wetness of her around him. “You feel so good.” He smiled broadly with a pleased growl. The things she made him feel. And not just physically...so weird, he thought; he didn't understand these feelings at all. Sometimes that made him angry, but other times, like now, he didn't care, he simply let himself feel them without adding words to them. 

Harley moaned arching her back, throwing her head backwards, reaching back to squeeze his knees, her breath leaving her in a hiss of pleasure. 

“Oh puddin!” She came forward to set her hands on the back of the couch in order to give herself leverage before she started to move her hips, her thighs tightening around him. 

He pulled her closer, his lips moving against her ear. 

“Fuck me Harley, fuck me hard.” 

His words sent a shiver down her spine causing her inner muscles to tighten around him. That was all the encouragement she needed.“Yes puddin, oh yes...” she moaned before catching his mouth with her own, her tongue sliding against his in a pleasurable twisting caress. 

She held onto the back of the couch and began to roll her hips, sliding against his lap fucking him hard, the wet sound of their bodies meeting, sliding, fucking... The feel of her inner muscles tightening around his erection, the up and down, back and forth motion of her hips caused Joker to jerk with a hiss. His fingers pressed into her waist where he grabbed her, holding onto her, watching the way her breasts bounced with each bounce of her hips, the fine perspiration that began to glisten on her skin. He grabbed his bottom lip in his teeth looking down to watch her moving up and down on him. 

“Beautiful,” he thought to himself. 

Harley began moving in earnest, her hips undulated in a smooth wave before she would lift up, the warm wet sound of her raising up then sliding back down on him had Joker struggling to hold on when he felt the warm flood of fluids rush over him as his Harley came with a cry. 

“AAHH!!!” 

Joker snarled struggling to hold his own orgasm back while he hissed. “Turn around Harley.” 

Panting heavily, Harley nodded numbly lifting and twisting around. He tried not to yank her back on him, but he did it anyway, digging his fingers into her hips and yanking her back down onto him. His eyes crossing for a moment when he buried himself inside her again. She did the craziest things to him. The twisty, rolling feelings in his chest and stomach when he thought of her, when he had her like this...all his...Harley pitched forward grabbing the table as Joker dropped his feet to the floor. He grasped her waist, his hands sliding to her hips pitching them both forward. The movement forced Harley to surrender the table for balance and instead pushed it out of the way, her hands dropping to the floor. The way Joker had pushed her shirt off her shoulder made the movement of her arms a little awkward, but she managed not to tear the shirt when she landed on her hands and knees. 

Joker shoved himself forward too while pushing her forward further onto the floor. Joker continued the forward movement, following her off the couch and onto his knees (still wearing his socks along with the rest of his clothing). He grasped her hips in firm hands, squeezing a little too hard. Harley groaned. She knew she was going to have bruises on her pale skin later from his grip, but she didn't care. All she cared about was how good he felt, how much she loved him and how she would let him hurt her if that was what he wanted. Her love was unconditional, complete; she couldn't imagine a world without her Joker. 

Joker started thrusting as soon as they were both in position on the floor. He grunted, the pleasure of the new angle had him reaching even deeper inside her. Strange churning feelings in his gut and chest spiked, both painfully and pleasurably...a feeling he simply didn't have the vocabulary to put words to, but they occurred because of Harley, his Harley.... 

“Puddin!!” she groaned, spreading her legs a bit more, digging her fingernails into the fibers of the thin carpet arching her hips up toward him. Joker hissed with pleasure at the sound of her calling him. The hard slap of his hips against hers, the wet sounds of fucking filled their small room. Harley arched her back again, the view of which was driving Joker crazy, prodding him to thrust harder. She drove herself back against him, her eyes screwed closed, her mind filled with thoughts of how much she loved him, how good this felt; he could do anything to her...anything...she didn't care as long as it was him. 

Joker pressed his teeth into his bottom lip groaning, she felt so good, hot, tight, wet, but there was that weird something else...that burn in his chest that had nothing to do with lust. He had been feeling it a lot lately in regards to Harley. It was strange...he kept putting off examining it because if Joker was brutally honest with himself (which he tried to never be) he didn't want to understand it...it scared him. Nothing else scared him, but this feeling did. The feeling was...complicated. All he really understood about the feeling was that it was tied intimately with Harley. 

But then Harley was yelling again, another orgasm from her flooding over him, her body going taut blasting any other thoughts from his mind. He could stop thinking and go back to enjoying the moment, the sheer passion of driving himself deep inside her, hard and fast. His breathing increased, panting, gasping breaths while watching himself moving in and out of her. He gave himself over to the glorious feeling of her body pulling at his shaft, the soft paleness of her backside, the feel of her hips in his hands. The sweet sound of her voice... 

“Uuhhhrrr...Harley...” He choked on her name. 

One hand glided up in a caress, a tender stroke along her side, that he hadn't intended to be loving, but he gently slid his hand down her spine then back to her hip before leaning harder into his thrusts. His climax was building, racing toward a peak he couldn't hold back. He tugged Harley back hard against him, bursting inside her with a long drawn out moan. 

“Harley!!!” 

Harley shuddered. She felt the tension, then the fantastic release of his orgasm which had her almost in tears. He made her so damn happy!! 

Joker sank forward, his weight against her back had Harley's arms giving out causing her to slide forward, flat to the carpet, her arms over her head grinning like a maniac. 

Joker, staying buried inside her, laid flat along her back. He moved his arms to lay them over her arms, his fingers intertwining with her fingers. 

They lay there on the floor unmoving. The only sound now was their heavy breathing which was slowly coming back under control. 

“Mistah J?” Harley spoke quietly. 

Joker nuzzled her ear licking it. “Yes pumpkin?” 

“You...you know I...” Harley frowned. She knew what she wanted to say, but saying it...would it change things between them? 

“Shh...pumpkin pie.” Joker kissed her ear then giggled. “You don't need to say anything at all.” 

Harley pressed her lips together. Did he know? Did he feel the same? The part of her that was still the doctor, still Harleen, wanted to ask him how he felt about her, but she took a breath instead and let it out slowly, enjoying the closeness of him and the afterglow of their love-making. 

Joker shifted, lifting off of her and pulling out slowly which caused them both to groan. She rolled over onto her back to watch him get to his feet, a warm lazy feeling washing over her. He walked to the small bathroom, a spring in his step that had Harley giggling. She could hear him in their bathroom rattling around. She was just thinking she should get up and clean off when he came back in carrying a damp rag. 

“Let's get you clean pooh, then I want to play a game of slap jack!” Joker dropped down beside her gently wiping the rag along her sending shivers up her spine, but also surprising her with this simple act of sweetness. 

Harley groaned. “I don't want to play slap jack—you always win and my hand hurts for days afterward!” 

Joker grinned finishing up cleaning her and tossing the rag to a corner of the room before he pounced onto her. “You're just a sore loser!” 

Harley squealed as he gathered her up in his arms. He stood, with Harley wrapped around his front, arms and legs hooked around his neck and hips. 

Joker sighed.“Fine, no slap jack. How about we plan on how to kill Strange instead?” 

“WEE!! Yes!” Harley giggled as Joker carried her to the bed where they giggled and talked about murder. 

* 

A day later, Flamingo was cleaning his weapons. He had his guns laid out, broken up into their component parts across the table. He was sitting in a stiff backed chair cleaning a spring when his cell phone began to vibrate. He picked it up with an abrupt, “Yes.” 

“Why haven't you brought either of them to me?” It was his employer. 

“If you wanted them dead it would be a great deal easier and faster.” Flamingo muttered into the phone holding the device between his ear and shoulder while he continued to clean. 

“You have one day. After that I will report your escape to the Gotham police and I shall find someone else to do what I want done.” The phone went dead. Flamingo snarled, taking the phone and tossing it across the table. He hated being told how to do his job. Fine. He could get the woman easily. Joker...best thing would be to simply kill the clown and take the hit in the payday. Flamingo narrowed his eyes while he worked. He would do it tonight. Now that he knew where they were, the rest should be easy. 

* 

The next evening Joker decided they should go out, stake out locations for their “Joker Surprise” as they were calling their little plan to take the cameras' focus off Bane's escape venture. They were still planning their murder of Strange, but Harley had sensed Joker needed this action first...something fun that would have the Gotham news talking about him. Harley decided to look at it as a way to let Strange know they were out there in Gotham and they were powerful...strong...and after him. OO! She thought! Like getting a horse head on your pillow! Okay not exactly, but she could work with that imagery! 

Frost was driving them tonight, taking them in his own personal car, a 2016 Lincoln Continental Frost had recently won in a card game a couple of nights back and was now using it to give his boss and the boss's lady a tour of Gotham as they hunted out places to drop some gas. Frost kept praying that the two of them would not decide to do anything in his back seat. If they did, he didn't think he would drive the car without having to relive it. Frost took a breath, so far so good, all they had done was laugh and kiss...a lot. 

They had been driving for almost an hour. Joker would have Frost stop the car and stare out the window, his expression intent before he would wave and tell Frost to drive on. Harley didn't question Joker, she simply watched him work. Her doctor's mind was fascinated watching the wheels in Joker's mind turn, while the woman who loved him was simply staring at him in admiration. 

They had just turned down one of the main streets in downtown Gotham when Joker yelled out. 

“Wait!! Stop here Frost my love!” 

Frost twisted the car hard to the right at the sudden outburst from Joker, sliding the vehicle up against the curb. Harley and Frost both looked out the side windows to see what it was that had drawn Joker's attention. 

“Right there my friends and lovers is a perfect place to put a Joker Venom gas bomb!” Joker started to giggle. They were looking at the Wayne Tower. 

Harley's eyes bugged. “Whoa...I mean I've seen the place, but wow it's big up close.” 

Joker giggled. “Come on,” he said with a tittering laugh. “Let's go take a closer look.” 

Joker grabbed Harley's hand yanking her out the door with him. They walked swiftly across the street to stand in front of the building (closed for the night). 

* 

Frost got out of the car and followed his boss over to the building, his eyes darting up and down. He wasn't sure what it was, maybe because this was Wayne Tower, there had to be security cameras on the outside... but he was getting a weird feeling...like they were being watched. Granted it was his job was to be paranoid, but something felt...off. 

* 

“Look at it Harley, a giant monstrosity dedicated to the pursuit of money! Ain't it grand!” Joker threw his arm out to encompass the building. Harley leaned back, holding onto her puddin's hand for support so she would not fall backwards, looking up until she started to become dizzy which had her giggling. 

Joker yanked on her hand. “Come on Harls, let's go check out the alleys, see where we can plant our gas bomb.” 

Harley's heart swelled. He had said our gas bomb!! OUR GAS BOMB!! If that wasn't a declaration of love Harley had no idea what was! It was “their” Joker venom, their plan...theirs, theirs, theirs! 

Harley felt as if her heart was soaring. She grinned at Joker and nodded. “Sure thing puddin.” 

They had just started to go around to check out the alley when a shot rang out. 

Frost screamed. “BOSS!!” 

Frost grabbed Joker trying to pull Joker to safety when he felt something burn across his cheek. 

* 

The bullet ripped along Frost's cheek, burning a deep furrow through the other man's cheek before it hit Joker, ripping through his shoulder. The exit wound exploded in a spray of blood and tissue, staining Joker's face and jacket. The bullet hadn't hit Flamingo's intended target, instead of Joker's chest, being a fast clean death as Flamingo had intended, that other man had thrown off Flamingo's shot. The man cursed. He knew he should have taken the chance and killed the bodyguard. Now he would have to do this the hard way. 

* 

Joker jerked, the bullet ripping through his shoulder and out through the upper part of his chest, slamming into the wall with a shatter of brick, barely missing Harley who screamed. Frost pulled his weapon out trying to ignore the pain in his face. He couldn't keep the eye on that side of his face open and his mouth didn't seem to want to work. 

Frost stumbled, trying to get to his feet and aim his weapon, but he just couldn't do it. 

Joker hissed, stumbling forward with the impact of the bullet. He managed to keep his footing, turning around, blood leaking fast down his front, the blood blossoming like a wet crimson flower over his clothing. He looked more annoyed than anything else. He pulled out his own gun just as a shadow raced toward him. 

Joker grinned. “Now who might you be?” 

Flamingo didn't answer, he knew he only had moments to try to put Joker down before he lost his advantage. Joker was shot, but Flamingo was ready for anything from the clown. He managed to throw himself out of the way, barely, before the Joker had a chance to shoot. Flamingo pulled out a pair of knives from sheathes at his lower back, a matching pair of Bowie knives. 

Joker giggled. “Oh is that how we're going to play? Perfect!” 

Joker smiled wide, dropping his gun and pulling out his switchblades. Flamingo was impressed; despite his wound, Joker didn't seemed slowed by the pain or loss of blood from the bullet wound. His grin widened for a fraction of a second, but then Flamingo's charge had the assassin right on the clown. 

* 

Harley recovered, pushing herself from where she had stumbled back against the wall with a snarl. Why hadn't she brought any sort of weapon with her??! How stupid could she be?! She grabbed Joker's gun from the ground, but almost immediately knew it was going to be useless as the two men were instantly in close combat. Frost had stumbled against the wall and passed out, the wound to his face looked bad and he was covered in blood from it. Her eyes shot around frantically trying to find anything else that she could use as a weapon. 

* 

Flamingo managed to get in close and fast on Joker. One of his blades sliced across the clown's chest but the blade only cut deep enough to slice Joker's shirt open leaving a thin bloody line, although the blood flowing freely down Joker's front from the bullet wound continued. 

Joker laughed. “Oooh, too slow!” 

Flamingo leaned back just as Joker brought one of his blades up, the sharp edge catching Flamingo under the chin. The cut was small, but punctured deeply, blood immediately flooding down the man's chin and neck. Flamingo hissed, backing off a step before he did a roundhouse kick trying to drive Joker back enough that he could maneuver under his guard. Instead of backing off, Joker simply ducked the kick, his slim body moving like a dancer's. Joker crouched and swept under Flamingo's guard, flipping his weapon around in a move that had the blade snapping up and around, crossing Flamingo's torso surprising the assassin. The blade sliced open a long line up Flamingo's side. 

Despite being shot Joker was moving as if he didn't have a hole in his shoulder at all. It was as if the clown didn't feel pain. 

Flamingo jumped back and spun around, dropping to a crouch trying to knock the clown's legs out from under him, but Joker weaved managing to get closer again. Flamingo panicked and slammed his blade into Joker's other shoulder using the entirety of his weight to press Joker up against the wall of the building. Joker was laughing, the pain of this new wound seeming to have no affect on him. 

“You know if you wanted a kiss, you only had to ask. Just promise not to mess up my lipstick.” Joker grinned making a kissy face at Flamingo. 

Flamingo hissed, yanking the blade out of Joker's shoulder, an arc of blood droplet's caught the dim light from the moon. 

Flamingo was thinking he would be fast enough to slice through the Joker's throat. But the moment he yanked the blade out, Joker dropped down, leaving a smear of blood against the wall just before he drove his shoulder into Flamingo's middle hard enough to knock the air from his lungs. 

* 

Harley was searching around frantically for something to use to help her puddin. She was wishing she had brought her mallet with her. There was a lot of debris around the alley, odd pieces of trash, bits of clothing, a broken chair... And then something lying along the wall caught her attention. For a moment the edge of the streetlight's glow caught the object, illuminating it like a gift; an old baseball bat. It wasn't pretty. It looked like someone had chewed on it, there was a hunk of wood missing and there was a crack in it; she might get one hit out of it, but that might be enough if she aimed her swing correctly. She dashed over picking up the discarded bat, making a face when she realized it was slimy. She raced back just as Joker slammed Flamingo into the opposite wall. 

Harley cringed watching the two men, her bat (which could barely be called a bat) in her hands looking for her chance. 

Joker held Flamingo against the wall, his eyes wide and crazed, his grin menacing in the dim light blood staining his already ruby lips. 

“Oh now look at you, so serious! You should really smile more.” Joker twisted around, his arms crossing over his torso, the blades licking out, slicing at Flamingo's arms which he had brought up at the last second to block. Joker laughed dancing back, which was when Harley surged forward and hit Flamingo with all her strength. 

Her swing was too low, taking him across part of his chest and shoulder, the bat disintegrating on impact. Flamingo winced, but the bat hadn't really been more than a stick and didn't slow him down, but a fraction of a second. Flamingo lashed out in response to Harley's attack without stopping to consider he needed her alive. His blade caught her in a backhanded swing, the tip of the blade catching her just below her collar making a clean slice. Harley gasped stumbling back, but like Joker, instead of slowing her, something snapped. Harley giggled, touching her bloody wound, then touching her lips staining them with her blood. She giggled again, sounding more unhinged. 

She then performed a perfect back flip, her booted feet coming up to catch Flamingo under the chin snapping his head backwards. 

Flamingo realized he was quickly losing control of the situation. So he decided to change tactics. He rubbed his chin with the back of his hand smearing blood across his hand. Joker had moved between him and the woman. Interesting. 

Flamingo decided to take a calculated risk. He threw one of his blades. 

The dagger went past Joker, slicing off a lock of green hair as it sailed past to land with a hard sounding meaty thunk into Harley. 

Harley didn't scream as the blade suck deep into her, right under her collarbone. She stared down at it and slowly dropped to her knees. 

Joker's eyes widened in shock before he growled. “Harley?” 

She looked up at him, her eyes wide, blank in confusion. 

Joker's head snapped back around, but the distraction had done exactly what Flamingo had wanted. He moved up swiftly, burying his other blade in Joker's gut, all the way to the hilt. He smiled, his face close to Joker's. “You have a weakness clown.” 

Flamingo jerked the blade in Joker's gut before yanking it out. Joker dropped, hitting the ground hard. Panting, Flamingo moved over him walking toward the fallen woman, picking up the now unconscious Harley and tossing her over his shoulder. He stumbled a bit with her weight; the fight had taken a lot out of him. He adjusted her unconscious form with a glance at Joker, who lay in a widening pool of blood, and left taking Harley Quinn with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you just love conveniently placed bats?


	24. What do We do?

Joker pulled himself forward by one hand, keeping his other hand held over the wound in his stomach that was leaking blood and staining everything about it red. The blood was all over his hand, staining the ground and his suit. His rage got him to his feet, using the building for support. He swayed for a moment after getting to his feet, his suit a mess and his green hair having fallen over his forehead making him look much younger and vulnerable. He leaned heavily against the building with one bloody hand taking in his surroundings. Where is that damn Bat when you actually need him, Joker thought bitterly. 

“Frost! FROST!” He snarled. He looked over to see his henchman leaning against the wall, blood drying to his face and clothing. 

Frost's head shot up. Joker could see that only one of Frost's eyes was working as the wounded man tried to focus. 

Joker started to giggle. “Oh you look bad there Frost my sweet. A regular monster!” 

Frost's one eye was completely swollen shut, the blood from the wound on his cheek was turning black as it dried. Frost still couldn't talk, but he managed to get to his feet. 

Joker giggled, the sound taking on a tinny, fragile edge. 

Frost stumbled over to him grabbing Joker before the clown fell. Blood was dripping down Joker's front staining his slacks and the tops of his shoes. Both men were stumbling for the entrance of the alley when they heard the sound of police sirens. Joker cursed. 

“Fucking Gotham police department, always late for the party.” 

But then both wounded men came to a stop when a shadow fell over them. Both men looked up to see Bob standing in the entrance of the alley. Joker started to laugh despite the pain it caused his abdomen. 

“Our own guardian angel! Sweet, sweet Bob!!” 

Bob was dressed in a neon pink tutu, a pair of fuzzy bunny heads on his bald head, fuzzy bunny slippers (which Joker had to wonder where the big man found them in his size) and an M29 infantry assault rifle in his hands. He grinned wide when he saw them. 

Joker chuckled. “There you are Bob. Darling, you think you could drive us to a Dr. Leslie Thompkins? Doctor to the underbelly of Gotham.” He giggled sinking to his knees from the loss of blood. “Might want to hurry my sweetheart. Uncle Joker doesn't think he can hold on much longer.” 

Bob nodded with enthusiasm. 

* 

Harley woke with a start, pain seemed to shoot through her whole body. A scream was on her lips, but she choked on the sound, her teeth clamping down on something hard in her mouth. She realized in the next moment that she had a ball gag in her mouth and she was tied to a chair. 

She struggled in confusion for a few seconds, the pain in her shoulder burning bright causing her vision to blacken around the edges. She had to force herself to take a few calming breaths, to keep the pain from pulling her under. Once she had herself under control, she weakly started to look around. The wound, just below her collarbone, had a rough bandage on it, the top of her outfit had been ripped aside to care for the wound, but otherwise the rest of it was intact. She had lost enough blood that she was dizzy, light-headed. The urge to close her eyes and drift into unconsciousness was strong, but she fought the feeling trying to take in her surroundings. 

She looked around slowly, avoiding quick movements. It was hard for her to focus, but she could make out that she was in a room, from the looks of it, an old bedroom. It was dark in here, the only light coming from a streetlight streaming in through a broken window. She could hear someone speaking not too far away from her. It took a while for her eyes to adjust to the dank light, but when she did, she saw the man, several weapons around him on the floor. He looked to be crouched down in a corner, a pink cellphone to his ear. 

“Look Strange, a hundred thousand isn't enough. I have the woman, the clown is dead. You want her— then I want double that.” 

Haley felt her blood turn to ice. Joker was dead? No. It couldn't be true. She blinked her eyes several times, fighting back the fear that this stranger was right...that Joker was dead. Hot tears started to flow down her cheeks despite her best efforts. She just couldn't accept that her puddin was gone, she refused to accept it. The man, his back still to her, growled into the phone. 

“Look I don't care. Double or I kill her and you get nothing. I want it by noon. I don't care...good.” He clicked the phone off. Harley quickly closed her eyes pretending to be unconscious. 

The man chuckled. “I know you're awake.” 

Harley opened her blood-shot eyes, fresh tears running down her cheeks as she glared at the man. 

The man laughed. “You are a little spitfire. You know I killed the Joker...left him bleeding in the alley. The cops and Batman should give me a fucking medal.” Harley couldn't help the tears, she dropped her face down not wanting this man, whoever he was, to see her tears that were now flowing nonstop, dripping down onto her lap staining her thighs. But he walked over grabbing a fistful of her hair and yanked her face up. 

“You're crying over him?” The man laughed. “You're one crazy bitch, but you must be something special. Strange certainly does want you. Let's see if he is willing to pay more, eh?” 

He grabbed her chin, tilting her face one way, then another, forcefully. She tried yanking her face away but he grabbed her with both hands holding her head even as she fought him. Flamingo smiled. 

“You know little clown. I might just keep you for myself if Strange doesn't pay me.” He grinned down at her. “You could be my pet. Flamingo's pet clown. Would you like that?” The hateful glare in her eyes made him laugh. “Oh now, don't be like that. We could have a lot of fun. He let go of her head smiling. “Though I would most likely sell you instead. Let someone else spend the time taming you.” 

Flamingo walked back over to his weapons and started to put them away. Harley closed her eyes, she wasn't scared of her own situation, she was terrified that this Flamingo was right about her puddin. 

* 

Joker passed out in the back of Frost's car. When he came to again he was being carried by Bob. Joker giggled seeing Bob's mug looming over him. 

“Did we run off to Vegas while I was sleeping Bob? Are you my new bride or am I the bride? Where's my pretty dress!?” He giggled again making kissing noises at Bob before wincing in pain, the sudden movement shooting like a burning poker through his guts. Joker hissed as the pain washed over him before he passed out again. 

* 

When Joker woke again he was lying on a bed, stripped naked except for a hospital gown. He looked around groggily. He had an IV in his arm. He traced the line with his eyes seeing a stand beside him holding bags of some sort of liquid that were slowly being fed into his veins. But he did notice that he wasn't strapped down. 

“Curiouser and Curiouser,” he muttered to himself in a weak voice. As he took in the room around him, he realized he was in a small bedroom of an apartment, not a hospital room. The walls looked water stained, the ceiling bowed and stained with spots of discoloration. The room also lacked any decoration; there was nothing on the walls. They were off-white, the only decoration the long stains of old water having dripped down them in the past. 

As he scanned the place he saw that there was one window, too small for him to escape through without a lot of effort and in his current condition that might not be the best course of action. Not that it mattered; even from his bed he could see that it had been nailed shut. There was a small bedside table pushed over to the corner behind his IV where some sort of monitor sat beeping away to itself. 

He then decided to examine himself further. Drab hospital gown with his ass hanging out, check. He lifted up the gown. He grinned happily, the old tallywhacker was still in one piece. That was nice to see. For a moment his smile fell...Harley... 

He focused back on the now, on what was going on here. There was a sterile bandage over the knife wound in his stomach. Now that he could see it, it was off to the side a bit and the fact that he was lying here looking at it meant nothing vital had been hit. Joker giggled. “Yay me!” 

There were also several pads stuck to his hairless chest. Joker frowned looking down at them then over to the monitor to which they were connected. 

The next thing Joker did was look around for a weapon. He couldn't be sure that Bob had gotten him and Frost to Dr. Thompkins...not that she was an ally—more of a neutral party in the center of Gotham. She treated both, the bad and good of Gotham, her only concern was saving lives, whoever's life that might be. Joker knew she wouldn't turn anyone in, but he couldn't be absolutely sure that she wouldn't leave him out as bait for the Bat either. 

He frowned as he gazed around for something to use, soon finding there were actually quite a few things he could turn into weapons, but after a bit he decided against it. Whoever had tended to him could have killed him while he was out, so clearly they were not a threat. Dr. Thompkins might not have even wasted her time if she intended to give him over to the B-man...he sighed. 

Joker laid back against the sad lumpy pillow under his head, his mind racing. That man, that villain...he had his Harley. Not only had he taken her, but he had HURT her!! Joker closed his eyes reliving the moment that blade had hit her, the shocked look on her pretty face, the slow way she had dropped to her knees, the blood staining her clothing. Joker's face contorted in pain and rage. He threw the blanket off yanking the IV out of his arm, creating an arc of blood caught by the little bit of streetlight that trickled into the room. As he struggled to this feet, the machine on the table started to beep crazily. 

Joker grabbed the IV stand using it to keep himself standing just as the door to the tiny bedroom flew open. Stopping in the doorway was an elderly woman. Her features were hard to make out at first. Light streaming into the room behind her cast her face in shadows, but as she shifted her stance it was clear she was older, maybe in her sixties though she wore her age well. She was dressed in a simple pair of navy slacks, a white flowered blouse and a white lab coat that every doctor seemed to own,(Joker wondered for a moment if the coat was like a club badge or something for doctors...and why white? Why not red? Though he could appreciate the white...that way you could see exactly how much blood you were getting out of your patients...or enemies!) and sensible shoes. (Can't trust a woman in sensible shoes he thought idly. Harley never wore sensible shoes...one of the many things he enjoyed about Harley.) The doctor's blonde hair was cut into a short bob that stopped just under her ears. Everything about this woman screamed sensible. 

Joker rolled his eyes. 

Joker nearly threw the IV stand at her, but restrained him looking at her suspiciously. (Plus he knew he had to keep the doctor's good will...never knew when you needed a doctor who worked off the books as it were...) 

The woman sighed. “You need bed rest, at the very least a week in bed, though I would prescribe longer.” 

Joker gigged. “Hey Dr. Quinn, medicine woman!” 

Dr. Leslie Thompkins gave Joker an unpleasant look. “Your companion is doing well, if you were wondering. I managed to save his eye and while he will have a very deep scar, he will heal just fine.” 

“Oh you mean my main man Frost? Oh that's nice to hear, though the ladies might be upset...though don't women like scars?” Joker giggled tilting his head at her before letting himself slowly sink down to sit on the side of the bed. 

“You need to let me put your IV back in Joker.” Dr. Thompkins walked over to him, but Joker yanked his arm away from her when she reached out for it. 

“Sorry Doc, I have to go.” Joker stood. He swayed for just a moment before regaining his feet. 

“I really recommend you stay here overnight, at least.” The doctor sighed. 

Joker snarled. “That fucking bastard...” 

The doctor frowned then sighed again. “I suppose you're talking about the person who did this do you? Fine. Just...be careful of your stitches. It won't take much to rip them,” she warned. 

Joker gave her a salute, wiggling his toes, then frowned. “Where's Bob?” 

“Bob?” The doctor had walked over to the monitor, turning it off. 

“Big guy, loves tutus.” Joker smiled as Leslie nodded. “The rather large man that brought you in here. Yes, he is just outside watching cartoons on the TV.” 

Joker grinned. “Great! Send him in!” 

The doctor sighed and walked out. A few minutes later Bob came rushing in. When he saw Joker sitting on the side of the bed, looking paler than he usually did but alive, Bob clapped his hands. Joker laughed putting up a hand and waving it in dismissal. 

“Yes, yes I'm alive. Now Bob dear, I need you to go back to the hideout and get me and Frosty a change of clothing and I want guns, my Joker gas and my other knives. Can you do that?” 

Bob nodded with enthusiasm. 

Joker smiled. “Good, good boy.” 

* 

Strange was pacing his lab. More money! More money!! How could that weasel demand more money? Strange snarled, turning swiftly and in his anger he slammed his fists against the metal counter that was screwed against the ancient brick wall leaving a sizable dent in the dull metal surface. 

He was hissing through his teeth as he breathed, trying to calm his anger and focus his thoughts. How could he turn this situation around and get what he wanted? Then he suddenly stood up straight, the eyes behind his round glasses glazing over with thought. 

Slowly Strange's head swung around to glance over his shoulder at the prone body of Calenderman, now changed by the experimental venom Strange had used on him. 

Strange smiled. “Time for a test,” he murmured to himself. 

He walked over. His patient was sleeping. 

Calenderman's veins glowed a strange eerie green, clearly visible through the skin. Strange had hooked up an apparatus to his chest, thin tubing connected to points on his body that were direct lines to the heart and the thyroid. With the help of a remote, Strange could determine the amount and timing of each dose of his own “venom” that would enter the man's system. 

Up to now, he had only had theories about how his subject would react with the environment and mental directives. Flamingo had simply accelerated Strange's time table. 

Since Flamingo was being “difficult” then Strange would simply have to take matters into his own hands. 

* 

Frost was lying on his back on a small cot with a thin blanket over his legs. Unlike Joker, he was still wearing his bloody clothing. The doctor had given him painkillers so his face felt dulled; the pain was still there, but it was a shadow of what it had been when he had come in with Bob and Joker. He delicately put his fingers to his cheek. There was a bandage there and he could feel the stitches underneath whenever he moved his jaw. Frost couldn't even smile or frown without tugging on the stitches. 

He had just closed his eyes when he felt a sudden weight on the side of his cot. His eyes flew open to see Joker sitting there in a hospital gown. Joker had let the doctor, reluctantly, put the IV back in so he was scooting the IV stand along with him. When he sat on Frost's cot he had a hand around the IV stand, his backside hanging out of the back of the hospital gown. 

His smile was in place on his red lips. 

“Hey Frost, my love, ready to go get some revenge?” 

Frost blinked then, despite the pain, he smiled as much as his stiff face would let him. “You know it Boss.” 

Joker giggled then sighed. “He took Harley.” 

Frost sat up. “Oh damn, I'm sorry Boss.” 

Joker didn't look at Frost as he spoke, his voice was cheery but it was cheery in that way Frost had come to be frightened of—it meant that whatever was going to happen next was going to be bad...very bad. 

“I want her back,” Joker hissed softly under his breath. “She is mine.” 

Frost watched Joker's face. He had never seen the boss so...grim...determined. He had thought that Harley might have been a passing fancy, but judging by Joker's face, she wasn't...this was going to get very, very bad for anyone who stood in the Boss's way. 

* 

Bob returned in an hour. With him he had several large, black trashbags. For just a moment Joker thought about shooting Bob. He had put one of his suits in a trash bag!!! But he swiftly calmed himself. Bob did the best he could...and besides, Harley would never forgive him...once Joker had her back. 

With Bob's help...he did the big thing this time and forgave Bob. Maybe it was the drugs, he idly wondered. He had more important things to think about, like dismembering the man who took her, who hurt her. When Joker saw the outfit that Bob had picked out, he could have kissed the big man. 

The suit was a dark purple, nearly black with thin pinstripes, the vest was black, the shirt a deep green with a black tie. 

“Oh Bob! Sweetheart! You brought my funeral clothes! Perfect since I plan on doing a lot of killing.” Joker giggled happily. “I'm going to bring that bastard who took Harley to his knees!” 

While Joker dressed he calmed himself with thoughts of all the ways he was going to make that man suffer for hurting and taking Harley. He might even use broken glass again! Yes, yes it had been a little bad the first time he had done it, but you know, sometimes you simply had to revisit things...give them another try to see if you felt the same way about them. And using broken glass to slowly murder someone...yep...just might have to revisit that. Joker giggled at the thought. 

* 

Once dressed Joker made his way out of the tiny room to where Frost had just finished dressing himself. He was wearing black slacks, sports jacket and a white shirt, plain but to the point. When Frost spoke, his words were a little muffled. 

“So how are we going to find where he took her Boss?” 

Joker frowned rubbing his chin. “The first thing we need is information. Which means Penguin.” 

Frost made a face. “I hate dealing with him.” 

Joker shrugged. “Ah well...if he gets on my nerves too much I'll just shoot him in the head.” 

* 

Harley's captor waited until midnight before he decided to move again. He didn't give Harley an opportunity to fight back when he untied her from the chairs. He moved swiftly, quickly keeping her subdued while he duck-tapped her wrists behind her back, pushing her down roughly on the floor and just as swiftly taping her ankles together. She struggled, her cheeks scraping against the rough floor. She yelled behind her gag, kicked her feet against the floor to no avail. He wrapped a rug around her, crushing her lungs. (The rug was just an additional layer of difficulty added along with the ball gag in her mouth that was making it difficult for her to breathe proper). The man lifted her up and threw her over his shoulder. Harley gasped in pain. 

She started to cry in anger and frustration. She hadn't been able to do anything! She was being carried about like lumps of trash. 

She closed her eyes, mentally telling herself. Stay strong. 

She grinned around her gag , bouncing her head to a tune that was playing inside her. 

“Just keep swimming, what do we do, we swim, swim, swim....” She giggled thinking to herself how she was going to find a way to kill Flamingo and find her puddin.


	25. Glitter Moon

Penguin felt nice and comfortable in bed. On his night stand he had a bottle of the finest, most expensive brandy money could buy, a black bottle of Remy Martin Black Pearl Louis XIII. Penguin smiled happily as he poured some of the amber liquid into a shot glass instead of a tumbler, since he was alone and the fact that this brandy was so rare he wanted to make it last. Only 786 decanters were made and Penguin had gotten one as payment for a very sticky job of information gathering for a group of senators. Penguin chuckled happily nestling down in his 1500 count Egyptian cotton bed sheets with his down pillows, grinning. Penguin had so much dirt, so many connections working to keep him happy by keeping him in the luxuries that a man like him deserved and if anyone crossed him, Penguin also had connections that would help him get rid of people or destroy them. Granted, sometimes those connections weren't enough to keep him out of Arkham, but at least he never stayed very long. 

He sniffed the brandy, his eyes fluttering with pleasure. He was just about to take a sip when suddenly his bedroom door was kicked open causing him to dump the contents of the shot glass all over himself. He twisted around scrambling to pull the gun out from under his pillow, but he just wasn't fast enough as he suddenly felt the cold metal of a barrel against the back of his head accompanied by a laugh he knew well. 

“Oh pengy pengy pengy...having a drink without inviting your friends?” Joker giggled. 

Penguin slowly turned around, his eyes narrowed in anger over the trespass and the loss of his treasured brandy. “What do you want Joker?” 

Joker laughed, taking the gun away from Penguin's head and jumping up on the side of the bed, crossing his long legs. He felt his stitches tug painfully with the movement, but the pain didn't show in his features as he crossed his arms over his knee, the gun hanging deceptively easily in his fingers. Penguin looked around and saw two more of Joker's men, a big one in a tutu and Frost...not looking so well. When Oswald looked back at Joker he frowned thinking Joker wasn't looking his best either. Cobblepot frowned, wondering what had happened. The clown looked paler than usual, but he supposed whatever it was had something to do with the reason Joker was here intruding at this ungodly hour. 

“Oh Penguin, my sweet plump little bird. I have some questions I need answers to and you're the answer guy. Well, I guess technically that's our mutual friend Riddler, but he also likes to ask really stupid questions. Anyway...I have a couple of particular questions I need answers to.” Joker smiled brightly. 

Oswald frowned. “You could simply come sometime when I'm awake you know.” 

Joker reached over picking up the bottle of brandy. He watched the way Penguin stiffened, his fingers moving like he wanted to reach out and snatch the bottle back. Joker grinned. He held the bottle up examining it before he took out the cork and sniffed. 

“Mmm...brandy eh?” Joker giggled. 

Penguin groaned, “Please put that down—it's very expensive.” 

Joker grinned just a little wider as he lifted one green eyebrow. “It is?” 

That was when he almost—on purpose—dropped it. 

Penguin did the funniest squawk that had Joker nearly falling off the bed with laughter. 

“Alright, alright here ya go ya little bird. I need information on a man,” Joker began. Penguin snorted, but Joker gave him a hard look and the bird stayed quiet. “All I have is a physical description and knowledge of his abilities.” 

Joker ran his thumb along his chin. “Think you can find him?” 

Penguin actually smiled. “I can find anyone and anything, for a price.” 

* 

A few minutes later, Penguin, wearing a plush burgundy robe with matching slippers, led the three men into his computer room. He sat down in front of his computer scooting the wheeled chair forward and cracked his knuckles. “Alright, tell me everything you know about this person.” 

Joker lean against the back of Penguin's chair, his chin resting on Oswald's head, who did his best to ignore the contact. “Well, he had short black hair with a pink streak in it, thin, dark eyes, skilled killer.” 

Oswald stopped with his fingers over the keys. “Wait...I know who that is...” 

Joker spun Penguin around in his wheeled chair. Oswald pushed himself back as far as he could from Joker, whose eyes were suddenly flat and deadly. 

“Tell me everything you know Oswald.” 

* 

Harley didn't remember falling asleep or when she fell asleep, but she did remember her dreams. Her dreams were full of darkness and blood, but not the fun kind. Joker was there laughing until a blade sliced through his throat silencing him with a gurgle of blood bubbling from his lips, flowing down his white neck. In her dream, Harley screamed reaching for him, but Joker fell away to be replaced by the Batman, a dark shadow who melted into Bane, reaching for her. But when Bane spoke he had the voice of her captor. Harley came awake trying to gasp lungfuls of air, but the gag in her mouth caused her to choke. She struggled, panicking for several minutes until she finally got herself under control. When she was finally able to breath through her nose and calm herself down, she realized she was lying on her side, her wrists and ankles still duct taped, the terrible rubber taste of the gag in her mouth. 

Flamingo was nowhere to be seen. The only reason she knew he was coming back was that she could see some of his equipment on the far side of the room. 

Harley laid still for several minutes listening. She heard the sound of cars outside, though from her position on the floor she couldn't see a window. And she heard nothing that would indicate that someone was here... 

It was a struggle, but luckily her hands had been taped in front of her which allowed Harley to push herself to her knees. It was difficult with her ankles taped together, but she managed to do it. She then raised her arms as far over her head as she could before she brought them down hard, her elbows out. The first time she did it, nothing happened, except that pain shot through her arms and shoulders, the knife wound split open painfully, fresh blood blossomed and spreading over her makeshift dressing, but she had to keep trying. It took a great deal of effort to stave off another black-out. She hissed around the gag then tried again. It took her two more times while blood seeped from under the bandage and down her front, but finally, when she brought her arms down, the tape snapped away freeing her hands. 

Immediately Harley reached behind her head unhooking the ball gag and threw it across the room gasping for air. She immediately rolled to her side, bringing her legs around and ripped at the tape around her ankles. 

Harley dropped back down on her back, the pain making her dizzy. She took several deep breaths. 

“No you don't Harley, no you don't...no passing out! Don't be a pussy!” she muttered to herself until she finally felt like she could move. She got to her feet slowly, careful to make as little noise as possible. Now that she was up, she could see that this was a deserted apartment. There was graffiti on the walls and the window behind her lacked glass. There were the remains of a kitchen, a disintegrating chair, bits and pieces of the ceiling on the floor creating a landscape of hills and valleys. In the corner where she had seen Flamingo's stuff, she saw that he had laid out a blanket, on which she could see a couple of handguns, but when she picked them up, they both lacked bullets. She did a quick search...no ammunition anywhere. Harley cursed under her breath until she noticed that there was a pocket knife. She picked up the knife, examining it with disappointment. It wasn't a great weapon, but it would have to do. 

She rushed over to the window. The glass lay scattered on the floor beneath the window where it crunched loudly when she walked over it. She leaned over the edge looking out of the window and down. She sighed in frustration. She was up at least eight floors, maybe more and there was no fire escape. There was no way she could jump down without devastating trauma or death. 

She was about ready to climb out anyway and hope for the best, when she was suddenly grabbed by the hair and yanked backwards. Harley cried out in pain and fury, reaching up to grab at the hand holding her hair in a tight fist with one hand, her other hand struggled with the pocket knife. She twisted around, the small blade of the pocket knife out, ready to use it anyway she could against her attacker. Harley twisted to see the sadistic smile of her captor. She snarled and managed to slash at Flamingo, the blade cutting, but only leaving a thin line along his jaw before he backhanded her across the face. She gasped at the shock of the impact tasting blood in her mouth. 

The rings he wore opened a pressure wound on her cheek, but she continued to struggle while he kept a hold of her hair, nearly lifting her off her feet while she struggled like a wildcat. He shook her, grabbing her wrist that held the blade, bending her wrist backwards until she screamed, her hand opening and dropping the knife. 

“Good girl.” He smirked before he threw her to the floor. Harley landed hard, her knees slamming to the floor that was covered in bits of crumpled plaster, broken glass and concrete. She tried to scramble to her to her feet, but Flamingo was on her, slamming onto her back, forcing her down. 

Flamingo dropped down on her, his knees pressed her down on the small of her back. Harley screamed fighting with every ounce of strength she had, but her ordeals had left her weak and in pain. Flamingo managed to catch her arms, yanking them back behind her and retaping them. 

“You're lucky Strange wants you alive you little bitch. I would have killed you already. You're too much trouble.” Flamingo turned around grabbing her thrashing legs and retaped her ankles, except this time he brought her legs up and used the tape to “hog-tie” her so that moving was now even more difficult. He smirked, kicking her over onto her side. 

“Now where is that gag?” Flamingo walked around until he found it covered in plaster dust and grime. He grinned picking it up walking back over to Harley. 

She screamed, “I'm going to gut you!!!!” 

Flamingo laughed. “Sure you are blondie.” He grabbed her hair, wrapping it around his fingers holding her head in place forcing the gag between her teeth, blooding her lips as she struggled to keep her mouth closed. He worked quickly strapping it back in place. 

“Now you be good.” He grinned at her leaving her lying there while he went over and picked up his weapons. “You know you're lucky. I would love to take a bite out of that face of yours...though I still might...Strange wants you alive, he never said in one piece.” 

Harley glared, tears running from the edge of her eyes. 

Flamingo laughed. 

* 

Joker was crouched, drumming his fingers over his lips listening to Penguin. Penguin had his hands laying across his stomach as he spoke. 

“His name is Eduardo Flamingo. He is an assassin for hire, known serial killer and rumor has it that he's a cannibal too. Likes to eat the faces of his victims.” Penguin made a disgusted face waggling his fingers in front of his face when he said the word cannibal before he continued. 

“A real nasty piece of work. Anyway, last I heard he was in Arkham. The Batman had caught him, but that was months ago. I doubt he got out on good behavior or by having regained his sanity.” 

Penguin leaned back in his chair his hands on the arm rests watching Joker. 

Joker made a face then giggled. “Two cannibals are eating this guy, one starts at the feet and the other starts at the face. The first cannibal asks his buddy "How are you doing?" The second cannibal says "I'm having a ball!" So the first one says, "Jeeze, you eat fast....” 

Joker fell back on his rear laughing. Penguin just stared with a slight look of disgust. Bob bobbed his head in a way that usually meant the big mute was laughing while Frost snickered. 

Joker lay on his back letting his giggles subside before he asked, still staring at the ceiling, his arms and legs spread out as if the clown was about to start making an snow angel. 

“So where are some of the places one might go looking for our cannibal?” 

Penguin frowned then turned toward his computer. “Well, there are some of the usual places, but those are for assassins looking to be hired and he was in Arkham...so whoever hired him did so from Arkham.” 

Joker sat up looking angry, his eyes having that flat quality to them again. “I know who hired him.” 

Penguin quickly continued. “I would say you should start with the hangouts for his type. This Flamingo is on the run, but he would need supplies, weapons, ammunition, that sort of thing...there are a couple of strip clubs, one named Glitter Moon and the other is Back Alley Girls. Lots of his types hang out there. There is also that bar called The Pits that attracts a lot of mercs. Those are the places where I would start if I was you...someone will have seen him. You might ask for a particular person who frequents those places...by the name of December Graystone. Graystone knows every assassin in Gotham or knows how to get a hold of them...he is also the contact all assassins work through...” 

Penguin narrowed his eyes studying Joker. He spoke carefully. 

“So why are you looking for him? I'm assuming not to hire him...I know you're perfectly capable of killing people all on your own. He owe you money or something?” 

Joker smiled. It was a smile that had Penguin's stomach dropping to the floor and his blood turning to ice. 

Joker chuckled. “He has something that belongs to me and I want it back.” 

Penguin swallowed. “Just, just ah...don't drop my name anywhere.” 

Joker stretched his arms over his head. the pain in his gut sharpened his senses. “Don't worry your little feathered brain Oswald. No one will know that you helped me in any way.” 

Joker jumped to his feet, the move demonstrated the thin man's strength and flexibility. The sharp burn of pain through his stomach, the stitches pulling made him feel alive...which thank goodness he was. He walked over, putting his hands behind his back and leaning forward so that he and Oswald were nose to nose. He stared into Penguin's blue eyes then said softly. 

“How do cannibals show hospitality? They invite their friends over for a Donner Party!”Joker guffawed standing up, but Penguin looked a little pale. Joker smacked him on the back. 

“Oh lighten up flightless...I'm not after you, after all. Come boys, we got some places to search and people to question!” 

* 

Joker strolled into their first stop, the Glitter Moon, with Bob and Frost flanking him. The lighting was a combination of rose and purple with several disco balls hanging from the ceiling rotating slowly, creating a nauseous glittering illusion that made Joker feel slightly disgusted. Joker grinned. He liked the lighting...now the music on the other hand...not so much. It was some sort of hard rap, not really his cup of tea. A few topless women moved around taking drinks to tables that were set away from the stage that took up the majority of the center of the room. 

Joker walked over to stand in a more shadowy area where a couple of women were giving lap dances to some rather ugly, rough looking men behind him. Joker had his hands behind his back as he frowned, stopping for a moment to watch the woman on the pole doing some very interesting stunts, while completely naked except for the pair of very, very high heels she wore. Joker grinned thinking about Harley on a pole with a pair of red heels and nothing else. His smile was a little lopsided as he imagined his Harlequin on a pole, dancing and smiling at him as she wiggled her rear end at him...Oh yeah...he was going to get his Harlequin a pole. He giggled as he thought to himself about Harley on a pole, ignoring the other women here. Then his smile fell slightly. First he had to get her back...once he carved this Flamingo person's eyeballs out and sent them to Strange, then the next thing he was going to do was get a stripper pole for Harley. 

No one paid much attention to Joker as he walked around the place except for a few of the women that worked here. One of them, a slinky blonde, tried to get his attention, but Joker just stuck his tongue out at her and kept walking. The lights made it difficult to see Joker's tell-tale characteristics, identifying him as the Joker...which was fine by him at the moment. Penguin had told him to look for a man named December Graystone. Oswald had described him as a tall, lean man with long black hair and black eyes. If anyone had an idea where Flamingo might be hiding out, it would be Graystone. 

Joker was on the other side of the stage when he saw the man he was looking for sitting in a chair close to the stage. He was leaning over to put a dollar bill into the G-string (or just string Joker thought because that was pretty much all that was there) for the woman on stage. Joker motioned with his hands, not looking at either man behind him knowing that they both knew exactly what he wanted. Bob and Frost moved off as Joker made his way over to the seat next to Graystone. 

When Joker sat down Graystone was too preoccupied with the woman on stage to give Joker a glance. Joker crossed his arms over his chest and crossed his legs, looking up at the naked woman. She smiled winking at Joker who responded by pulling the bottom of one eye down and sticking his tongue out at her. The stripper frowned in confusion and focused her attention on another patron. 

“So, why did the man continue tossing Monopoly Money at the stripper?” Joker leaned toward Graystone grinning. The other man glared at him, but Joker continued, completely ignoring the disgusted look from Graystone. 

Joker giggled. “Because she continued putting fake tits in his face!” 

Joker burst out laughing leaning back in his chair. 

Graystone frowned hissing. “Go away before I put a bullet in your head.” 

Joker sat back up and punched Graystone in the shoulder. “Come on now, don't be like that buddy! Can't we be friends?” 

Graystone turned to face Joker, his eyes narrowing. “Touch me again and you will lose that hand.” 

Joker snorted. “Ooooh!! So serious!! Wow...you're funny. Look, I just want you to answer a simple question, and I promise I'll be gone.” Joker batted his eyes at Graystone smiling. “Oh wait a moment!” Joker held up a finger, then opened his coat, pulling out a tube of lipstick, which he then carefully applied. He grinned and made a kissy face at Graystone. “That's better isn't it? Now as I was saying, I just need you to answer a question or two for me, tall dark and swarmy.” Joker batted his eyelashes once more. 

The man glared at Joker, the glittering lights rolled across Joker's sharp features, his huge smile never faltering. Graystone's frown hesitated for a moment, his hand, which had been moving toward the concealed blade in his coat stilled as recognition of who he was talking to suddenly settled over him. “Ask,” he stated trying to keep the fact that he realized this was Joker from coloring his speech or his features. 

Joker patted his shoulder. “There, now that we're friends, I want you to tell me where I can find a man named Flamingo. He has something that belongs to me and I really, really, really want it back.” Joker grinned putting his chin in his hand as he leaned toward Graystone like they were old friends having a conversation. Joker's freshly lipsticked smile broadened as he waited. The dancer came back toward the two men, weaving her hips and coming down spreading her legs in front of them both, though neither Joker nor Graystone looked toward her, the air between them thick with anticipation. 

But it was Graystone who cracked. “He has several places in Gotham, safe houses. It depends on what or who he is hiding from where he will be...I need more information to narrow it down.” Graystone turned back to the dancer trying to 'keep his cool.' He, like everyone else, had heard the stories about the Joker and had enough sense that he was at least cautious. 

Joker leaned back in his chair watching the newest dancer to walk out on the stage, though Graystone could tell his attention wasn't actually on the woman. “So where would this bird go if he had someone that he had taken?” Joker asked setting the heels of his feet up against the stage and crossed his ankles while folding his hands across his chest. He looked...defenseless, harmless really, Graystone thought. “There is an abandoned building down by Port Adams, that might be where he would take someone if he had them. But Flamingo is an assassin and...well...he is not known for keeping people alive.” Graystone kept his hand on the blade in his jacket watching Joker from the corner of his eye. 

Joker didn't look at him as he smiled. “There are a lot of abandoned buildings there. I don't really feel like going through all of them.” 

Graystone growled. “That's all you're getting.” 

Joker moved so swiftly that Graystone wasn't aware what was happening until Joker was on top of him, slamming him backwards taking the chair with him. Joker straddled Graystone, sitting on his chest pinning his arms, a straight razor at his throat before Graystone realized he had been attacked. Some of the girls screamed and patrons scrambled to get out of the way. Joker smiled down at Graystone, the blade licking at the assassin's neck. That was when Graystone saw the two men come out of the darkness of the club, a large man in a tutu and the other man, normal looking except for the nasty wound across his cheek mostly hidden under a thick, bloody bandage, both men held guns pointed at him. 

“I don't like being played with...no, wait—that's not true, Harley can play with me all she wants.” Joker giggled pressing the blade in, his mad green eyes boring into Graystone's. “Tell me which building.” 

Graystone snarled. “You are going to be making some enemies with the League of Assassins.” 

Joker giggled. “You guys got a league?? You know, my doctor told me to start killing people.” Joker grinned. “Well not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce the stress in my life...which is the same thing. So, I suggest you tell me the building I want or I start reducing my stress.” 

Joker smiled happily, tilting his head to the side. 

Graystone snarled. “The remains of Riverfront Heights. He'll be there.” 

Joker kissed Graystone on the mouth with a grin. “If not, I'm coming back here to kill you and everyone in this place. Okay? Okay.” 

Joker stood up and brushed himself off with one hand while flipping the blade he held closed with the other. He could feel that one, maybe two stitches had popped, but the pain gave him focus. 

“Come along boys! We are going visiting!”


	26. Fight Fire with Fire

Flamingo was itching to move; something just didn't feel right. He couldn't put his finger on what it was...the woman almost escaping? Maybe, but he didn't think so. Just something in the air felt...wrong. He had already been here too long, that was part of it. He usually moved a around a lot more than this, but with the extra baggage of a prisoner he wasn't given the luxury of being able to move as quickly or as inconspicuously. 

The assassin glanced over at the woman. She was quiet, finally. She had a lot of fire. He scowled at her; she was dangerous, dragging him down. He drummed his fingers on his knees then hopped up, deciding to clean his weapons when his cell phone rang. Hoping it was Strange with his money, Flamingo picked it up glancing at the screen only to see that it was Greystone. 

“What?” Flamingo answered tersely. 

“What did you do?” Greystone snarled. 

“What do you mean what'd I do, what are you talking about?” Flamingo moved away from the woman on the floor. Harley kept her eyes closed, but she strained to hear what was going on. 

“What did you take that belongs to The Joker? He was just here,” Greystone hissed back. 

Flamingo laughed. “Oh...sorry bro. I was hired to bring him and his woman to a doctor at Arkham. Only managed to get the woman though.” 

“Well the clown is after you. He knows where you are.” The other man sounded scared. 

“How?” Flamingo went to look out the window, but he didn't see anything, at least not yet. 

“I told him.” 

Flamingo stared at his phone in disbelief. “You told him?” 

“He had a knife to my throat!” Greystone growled. “But I'm giving you a heads up, he's on his way.” 

Flamingo groaned. “I thought you were part of the league of assassins...seems that you are the one in more trouble than me...betrayal is not looked upon well.” 

He hung up the phone slipping it back into his pocket and started to quickly gather up his weapons. Harley was smiling, she had only heard one side of the conversation, but it sounded like her captor might be in trouble and if she was right, it was her puddin. She pressed her eyes closed mentally whispering to herself please, please, please, let it be her puddin. She never prayed before she came to work at Arkham and she hadn't prayed since, but this time she was hoping that something out in the cosmos would send her insane clown to rip this man's throat out. 

* 

Frost pulled the car up along the side of another empty building with pealing painted on the side advertising grain and lumber. He turned off the engine plunging the interior into darkness. The three men sat in the car looking at the building that was their actually goal. From the looks of it, the building might have once held a thriving business, but, like so many others in the area, it had fallen into the decay that permeated the riverfront area...especially after the mobsters took over most of the area. 

It had been billed as one of the up and coming properties in Gotham ages ago, a place for the new wealthy to purchase “waterfront” apartments. But between a loss of backers for the continued building and re-purposing of buildings, to the shoddy construction to save time and money, and lastly, the crime that plagued the port area, Riverfront Heights never really took off and was quickly abandoned. Now the building stood quiet with several others in the area, all of them ghosts to someone's hopes and dreams. 

After a few minutes of them all silently staring, Joker, Frost and Bob all exited the car. Joker stood beside the car and stretched his arms over his head, the pain that lanced through his side almost doubled him over, but he ignored it with an effort, instead focusing his thoughts on the fact that he would have his Harley back soon. He then did series of hopscotch moves down the sidewalk toward the building that was their focus before he stopped and stared at the building again. 

“So Frost my love, if you were an assassin who had kidnapped someone, what floor would you be on?” 

Frost made a face starting at the side of the building. 

“I would be close to the top I think, maybe the top floor. It would provide a good view below, plenty of time to move...not really expecting air traffic...and if you're a good shot you might kill anyone approaching.” 

Joker nodded as he listened counting the floors of the building at he did so. “Mmm...this building has eight floors—so we'll start from the top down.” 

He grinned spinning around on the ball of one foot. “Bob! Find us a way up the side of the building!” 

Bob nodded his head several times and took off at a jog. While they waited, Joker turned to face Frost. “How's that face of yours doing?” He reached out and gently touched Frost's bandaged cheek. 

Frost winced a little at Joker's touch. “It's fine, Boss.” 

Joker grinned. “We'll have to get you a lady that likes scars. I wonder if Harley knows anyone...we could double date then! Ooo, double killing sprees...think of the fun!” Joker giggled just as Bob came running back. Bog stopped in front of them and started pointing with enthusiasm. Joker giggled. “Oh did you find something big boy? Did ya?” Bob's head bobbed up and down with glee. 

Joker's grin was wide. “Lead the way!!” 

* 

Flamingo dragged Harley's body across the floor putting her against the wall. He didn't know how much time he had before the Joker showed up, but he needed to get her out and take off for another one of his hideouts. He was cursing to himself wishing that Strange would hurry up and pay him. Dragging this woman around was becoming difficult. He had just reassembled one of his pistols when he thought he heard something...a sound like metal scrabbling up against brick. He went to the window and looked out, but from this side of the building there was nothing, no fire escape, no one outside. He frowned walking over to the other windows. He had inspected this building ages ago before he made this a hideaway...there were no other ways in here...did he miss something? Flamingo hissed in anger... 

* 

Joker was ahead of Frost and Bob. Bob had found the remains of a fire escape against one side of the building. It was dangerous, rusted, not fully attached to the side of the brick and it didn't reach the eighth floor, only the sixth. Joker was studying the window above him as the fire escape creaked dangerously. 

“Hey Bob dear, give old Uncle Joker a lift will ya?” Joker pointed to the window above him. 

“Boss I don't know if that's a good idea.” Frost glanced down as the ancient fire escape creaked and leaned dangerously away from the building, flakes of brick falling to the pavement below. 

Joker laughed. “Nonsense! Bob you can get me up there can't ya?” 

Bob nodded and Frost groaned. Bob scooted past Frost, causing the fire escape to weave crazily. Joker put his arms up in the air and Bob grabbed him around the waist lifting him up high. Joker scrambled for a moment, then at the last moment he caught the edge of the windowsill. Bob let go of Joker's waist, putting his hands under Joker's feet and pushed. Joker hauled himself up, impressively quiet since Frost knew he had to be in pain from that stab wound to his gut. But within moments Joker had pulled himself through the broken window landing on the other side with little noise. Joker leaned over the sill, looking down at the two of them grinning and giving them a thumbs up. 

“See you guys at the top.” Joker waved and disappeared into the darkness of the building. 

Frost hissed.,“BOSS!” but Joker gone. 

Frost snarled. “Damn it Bob, get me up there!” 

* 

Joker moved with deadly silence. He had his straight razors, one in each of his hands as he made his way up the decaying staircase, taking the steps two at a time until he reached the eighth floor. He stopped once he reached the top, titling his head to the side listening. To anyone else there were have only been the sounds of the breeze through the broken windows, the creaking of the old building settling and maybe the sound of rodents scurrying across the floors, but Joker's sharp ears also caught something else—the sound of breathing. 

The breathing didn't exactly echo, but it was hard to trace it to one set of rooms. There were several abandoned apartments up on this floor, any one of which could be the “lair” of Flamingo. Joker stood at the front of the hallway glancing, his eyes wandering over each closed door. Then after a heartbeat or two he took several strides and gingerly opened the one second on the right. 

He opened the door just barely enough for his slim frame to squeeze through. He pushed his head through the opened door slowly, scanning the interior carefully. The only light in the room was the liquid glow of moonlight and the sickening yellow of a weak streetlight. He glanced down, the slight glimmer catching the reflection of a tripwire at the bottom of the door. 

Joker giggled slipping into the room, stepping over the trip wire. No sooner had he crossed into the room, avoiding the wire, than a gunshot rang out. Joker threw himself to the left rolling and slamming into one of the room's deteriorating doors. Joker sprang to his feet in the next instance and at that moment he saw Harley lying on her side, bound and gagged, her blue eyes looking at him with desperation. 

When Joker saw her lying like that, helpless, bound, something in him snapped, or would have snapped if everything inside of him wasn't already snapped. 

Standing behind her, the light from the moon illuminating him, his weapons aimed at Joker, was Flamingo. He grinned at Joker and fired again. Joker weaved as he came at the man, this bullet nicking his shoulder, the next missing the clown completely. Flamingo didn't have time to shoot again because suddenly Joker was springing over Harley's prone form, bodily slamming into Flamingo. 

The two men went down crashing into the floor. Flamingo felt a blade bite into his face, the sharp metal made a slick, deep cut through his cheek. The assassin struggled, dropping his guns and reaching for his own blade, but Joker was like a slippery snake, managing to pull free of him every time Flamingo managed to grasp his opponent. 

They rolled, the two men twisted up, both trying to keep a hold of the other. They finally slammed into the wall, bits of plaster and concrete raining down on them. Flamingo managed to get on top of Joker, grabbing the man by the shoulders and slamming him down. Joker's head bounced for a moment, hitting the floor with a sickening sound. But instead of going still, Joker laughed, slicing with one of his blades, the blade cutting through cloth and flesh. Flamingo stumbled off grabbing his side and kicking at Joker at the same time. Flamingo's booted foot struck the clown along the knife wound he had inflicted, ripping several more stitches. Joker registered the pain, the suddenly hot wetness running down his front when the stitches popped open. The agony was nearly blinding, but as he regained his feet he only grinned wider. 

* 

Harley's heart nearly burst with happiness when she saw Joker, but then he was leaping over her and attacking Flamingo. She cried out, muffled by the ball gag and started struggling working her hands and feet as hard as she could. She could feel the tape rubbing into her wrists. 

* 

Joker dropped one of his blades, but he swung his hand around grabbing the other man by the front of his shirt and threw him against the wall surprising Flamingo with his strength. Joker rushed him, slamming his forearm under Flamingo's chin, the straight-razor in his other hand coming up to dance across his cheek. 

Joker giggled. “You know, I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead. So how about we see how dead we can make you, eh?” 

Joker twisted his wrist to slice open Flamingo's throat, but the other man reached up grabbing Joker's hand and shoved back with all his strength. The pressure from his fingers digging into Joker's wrist forced the clown to drop the blade. Joker laughed. “Oh you are funny!” The blade skittered across the floor to come to a rest next to Harley. With his other hand Joker slugged the assassin in the stomach just below his diaphram hard, knocking the air from him, then slammed his fist into the other man's face forcing him to let go of Joker's hand. Joker grabbed him by the shoulders and, with a heave that caused more blood loss from his reopened wound, threw the assassin across the room. 

Flamingo slid, keeping his feet under him and moving back at Joker immediately. 

Joker fell backward under the assassin's rush, but surprised Flamingo yet again when he jumped to his feet easily. “Haha!! You, my pink bird, are faster than I thought!” Joker giggled. 

Flamingo narrowed his eyes seeing the blood staining Joker's front. He rushed him, slamming his elbow into the clown's side. Joker hissed in pain, but kept his footing balling his hands together, bringing them down on the back of Flamingo's neck. Both men stumbled backwards, Joker dropping to his back, the air momentarily forced from his lung,s but he used his feet to shove Flamingo up and over his head. 

Flamingo rolled coming up to his feet and slid across the floor for a moment while Joker used his hands to launch himself up again spinning around like an experienced dancer, with a wide maniacal grin on his face. 

“That the best you got pinky?” Then he giggled. 

Flamingo's rage was getting the better of him. How could this clown be matching him?! Joker was even already wounded!! 

Flamingo charged again, getting in another hit to Joker's wound, but the clown grabbed his arm yanking it forward then punched the assassin for all he was worth in the chest. Flamingo gasped painfully as the strike sent a shock wave of pain radiating throughout his torso, maybe cracking his breastbone. 

Joker giggled. “I always did like a little Punch and Judy!” 

Joker tossed Flamingo away from him giving the man a firm kick in the chest. Flamingo gasped again, pain exploding from his chest, the air in his lungs forced out in a painful rush as he hit the windowsill, almost tumbling out of the open window. 

* 

Harley saw Joker's switchblade as it spun across the floor stopping at her feet. She glanced at the two men, then with all her strength and agility she wiggled herself around. She gasped, her shoulders feeling like she was straining them until they were about to pop from their sockets, her wiggle causing her so slam her bound wrists and ankles painfully against the floor, but she was rewarded when her cold fingers felt the equally cold metal of the blade. 

* 

Flamingo snarled, shoving himself off the windowsill and punching Joker under the jaw. He was rewarded with snapping the clown's head back. Joker staggered back, giving the assassin a chance to get a couple of more body shots him, his fists coming back covered with Joker's blood, but the clown just wouldn't go down. 

Joker laughed. “Oh, you are just so funny! Naming yourself after a pink bird? What exactly does that mean?” Joker giggled, the pitch of his laughter becoming higher, more deranged sounding as he grabbed a handful of piaster throwing the dust into the assassin's eyes before moving in swiftly punching him one, two, three times in the stomach and then with a fourth blow to the face. 

Both men spit blood as Flamingo took a couple of steps back from Joker sneering. “That woman is so important to you? Or is this something else? You don't have a heart, do you clown?” Joker snarled, rushing the assassin, both men hitting one of the apartments walls and breaking through the old, decaying plaster. Joker rode Flamingo down to the floor his fists hitting him in the face over and over again while he laughed. 

Flamingo took the vicious punches, his nose and lips bleeding, but then he yanked his arms up cutting Joker off. 

Joker stumbled, blood now staining his pants from his open wound, blood dripping from his nose and lips. Flamingo laughed. “I'm going to cut your face off and eat it in front of your woman Joker, and then before I give her to Strange I'm going to show her what it's like to be with a real man.” 

As he spoke the last, Flamingo took two quick steps in to strike Joker in the throat. Joker choked but even with his hand around his throat, he brought his knee up taking Flamingo in the stomach then slammed his elbow down on the back of his opponent's neck. The assassin went down, but grabbed Joker around the legs both of them tumbling to the floor again. They both rolled hitting and clawing each other until Joker was finally able to push Flamingo off and stagger to his feet. 

Flamingo's smile was chilling. “You're dead clown!” 

Joker laughed. “Oh I don't think so my little pink bird. I have an ace up my sleeve!” 

Flamingo looked confused for a moment, tilting his head when suddenly Harley jumped onto his back. Her hands were bloody, nicked and sliced, covered in her own blood, a switchblade in her hand. She hissed through her bloody teeth. 

“NO ONE HURTS MY PUDDIN!!” Then with a swift movement, she sliced the blade deeply across the assassin's throat. 

Flamingo struggled, reaching back to claw at her, but Harley let go stumbling backwards as Flamingo switched his attention to his throat, his hands struggling to hold back the blood, but it was too late. As Harley ran around him into her puddin's arms, Flamingo dropped to his knees, blood soaking his clothing. Both Joker and Harley, their arms tight around each other, watched as Flamingo bled out. 

Harley squealed after Flamingo fell over, and wrapped her arms around Joker's neck. “You came for me!!” 

Joker laughed holding her tightly, ignoring the pain of his wounds for the moment; the feel of her warm and alive against him put all other concerns aside. “'Course I came for you Harls! You're my number one, the Abbot to my Costello! The Gracie to my Burns...the Martin to my Lewis...I can never leave you behind.” Joker laughed pulling her up against him, covering her bloody lips with his own. Despite the blood and the pain, their kissing quickly turned passionate when they both heard the voice of Frost. 

“BOSS??!” 

A moment later, an exhausted looking Frost with a delighted Bob came rushing into the room. Frost stopped, seeing both his boss and Harley covered in blood, the assassin lying in a pool of his own blood. Bob clapped his hands. 

Joker grinned, his arm around Harley's waist. “Let's go home boys!” He held up a finger. “But first...” 

* 

The next evening a package was left in front of the main gate to Arkham Asylum addressed to Dr. Hugo Strange. 

Strange was working late in his office with plans to go down and begin work on his newest experiments, a Mr. Victor Zsaz. He was looking over Zsaz's file when there was a knock at his door. Strange sighed. “Enter.” 

A new young guard stepped in. “Sir, I—well I was just coming in for my night-shift duty when ah...I saw this in front of it gate sir. It's addressed to you.” 

The young guard was holding a package. Strange frowned and motioned for him to hand over the box. “Thank you—you can go now.” 

The young man nodded and left closing the door behind him. Strange examined the box with a frown. There was no address on it, nothing to indicate where it had come from. It was wrapped in brown paper with twine wrapped around it and 'Strange' was written in black ink on one side. He pulled it open slowly, then removed the paper. 

Strange opened the box to see that inside was another box. He opened that one, then gasped in surprise standing up. Inside the box were a set of human eyes and a note stained with blood. 

Strange stared at the eyes as he slowly picked up the note unfolding it. 

“Dear Dr. Strange, 

HaHaHa!! Got my eye on you!! 

Love, 

Joker and Harley


	27. Milk Mustache

Joker was lying on his back among the pillows and blankets of the bed he shared with Harley. He looked exhausted, paler than usual, though he still had a smile on his face. Harley had pulled his bloody clothes off of him as quickly as she could with her sliced up fingers, and tossed them into a corner so that Joker lay in only his boxers and socks. She wanted to get those off of him too (not just because they were bloody, but because she also wanted him naked), though she would wait until the later. 

Harley sighed looking her pudding over and her bottom lip trembled. He was still covered in blood, his pale skin bruised, dark circles were under his eyes, and he still bled from numerous cuts and scratches. 

Harley sat on her haunches and sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her hand, her eyes wandering over him. “Oh puddin,” she spoke quietly. 

Joker grinned brightly at her from his prone position. He looked paler, the dark makeup around his eyes was smeared, mixing with the bruises forming and his lipstick had seen better days, bright red streaks of it spread across his lips and chin, but his smile was beautiful. 

“None of it matters sweetie. I got you back!! That's all that matters.” He grinned and showed off his perfect, although blood-covered teeth. 

Joker reached for her, making grabby motions with his fingers. When she scooted closer and bent down to him, Joker's pressed her face between his hands, making her lips do fishy faces before he yanked her to him so he could cover her face in kisses. “MUW! MUW!” 

He kissed every inch of her face, her bloody lips, her bleeding nose, her eyes, her cheeks, her forehead and chin. He had just started the cycle again when Harley laughed. 

“Puddin please stop!! We need to take care of you!” Harley giggled, though she was happy to be kissing him again, to feel his lips on her, to know he was alive. 

Joker grinned. “I can't! I got my girl back.” He tugged her down. Harley wrapped her arms carefully around him, laying her head on his shoulder. 

She sniffled again. “I missed you so much.” 

Joker sighed and stroked his fingers over her tangled hair. “I missed you pumpkin.” 

There was a light knock just before the door was pushed open and Bob stepped in, carrying an old tray with some bandages and a suture kit on it. Frost appeared from behind Bob looking tired.. 

“The doc gave us a few things when we left Boss. I think she knew you were going to need them,” Frost said pointing at Bob's tray. 

Harley sat up then gasped looking at Frost's face. “Oh Frosty!” 

Frost gave her a lopsided smile as his fingers lifted to touch the bandage on his face. “It's okay Miss Quinn. The lades like scars right Boss?” 

Joker chuckled. “Scars are just tattoos with better stories!” 

Frost laughed lightly and nodded. 

Bob stepped silently over to the bed and sat down next to Joker, then crossed his legs. He still wore the tutu from earlier that evening, though he had somehow found a nurse's cap which he had stuck to his head using duct tape. Harley narrowed her eyes studying that for a moment before she shrugged. The quiet man moved quickly and efficiently, pulling away the old bandages, cleaning Joker's new and old wounds before he started to replace the stitches that Joker had broken during the fighting. Harley held Joker's hand. 

“You were so brave to come for me puddin.” She couldn't help the tears that started falling freely down her cheeks. “I just knew that jerk hadn't killed you...I knew it!” 

Joker chuckled.. “'Course not. I”m unkillable!” Joker winced when Bob pulled a stitch through. “OUCH!” Joker pouted at Bob, but Bob simply grinned and continued his work. Harley snuggled up close to Joker again, stroking his cheek, then down his neck and over his chest. Joker sighed with contentment and relaxed. Bob finished with the stitches and then put a clean bandage over the wound before he continued to clear off the blood from Joker's face. Joker giggled sticking his tongue out at Bob. Bob stopped and wagged a finger at Joker which made the pale man laugh even more. 

“I really love this guy!” 

Each time Harley tried to help, Bob would lightly smack her hands, careful not to touch any of the slices on her fingers and palm. 

Harley hissed. “OWW!! Geez Bob, I just want to help!” 

Once Bob was satisfied that Joker was cleaned and properly bandaged, he reached for Harley's hands. She sat up, but she did try to jerk her hands away when Bob touched a particularly painful spot. Bob held on, making her wince. 

“Ouch!” she grumbled. 

Joker laughed. “Stubborn little minx. Let Nurse Bob do his thing!” 

Harley stuck her tongue out at Joker who laughed while holding his side. Nurse Bob cleaned and bandaged her hands, then he leaned over Joker and cleaned her face. Bob made her sit still while he put stitches in her shoulder wound. Joker kept a hand over her hand, giving her comfort without saying that was what he was doing for her. Bob worked carefully under Joker's direction which was a lot of Joker asking question after question in rapid succession. 

“Can you do a butterfly stitch? Can you make the stitches come out in my name? Why can't you stitch “Haha” instead of a straight line? Why don't you answer my questions Bob? Harley, Bob is being rude! Well I don't see why I can't have a nurse's cap? It would look great on me, right? I really have the legs to pull off a nurses uniform, don't you think Harls?” 

When Bob was pleased with his work, he stood up, his brow furrowed in a stern look and pointed at the both of them. 

Frost chuckled. “I think Dr. Bob wants the both of you to stay in bed. I'll bring you guys something to eat okay Boss?” 

Joker waved a weary hand. “And some whiskey! And lots of pain killers!! Oh and french fries, maybe a chocolate shake!!” 

Bob wrinkled his nose at the mention of whiskey, but he pulled out something from this pocket under his tutu, holding up a bottle that he handed to Joker. Joker took it examining the bottle. It was a bottle of pain killers. 

“Ah Bob, always prepared!” Joker giggled. 

Bob stared at the two of them lying there and held up three fingers. 

Frost smiled and translated. “Don't take more than three at a time.” 

Joker stuck his tongue out again. Bob pointed at him threateningly and Joker started laughing. 

“Fine fine, we won't take more than three. Promise.” 

Bob pointed at his eyes with two fingers, then back at the two of them. 

Harley giggled. “I'll keep an eye on him.” 

Bob nodded and left, but not before he stopped in the doorway and gave them both a hard glare. 

Frost sighed. “I'll be back with your food and drinks. Nice to have you back Miss Quinn.” 

“Nice to be back.” Harley smiled. 

“Boss.” 

“Frost.” 

With that Frost and Bob left the two of them alone. 

* 

After Frost had left, Harley stood up and got out of her clothing while making a face. 

“I need a bath.” 

She gently touched her stitches and winced in discomfort. Joker was smiling contentedly and gazed at her as she stood there naked, checking out her other cuts and bruises. She twisted this way and that. Joker was happily enjoying the show, his fingers laced over his chest. 

Harley grinned. “How about we both have a sponge bath. I could wash you,” she offered with a coy look. 

Joker giggled. “That sounds fun!” 

Harley wrinkled her nose playfully at him. Before she turned to make her way to the bathroom Joker called out. 

“Can you bring me a cigarette too?” 

Harley smiled over her shoulder at him. “Sure thing puddin.” 

She headed into their bathroom to gather what she needed for a sponge bath. She washed her hands and face while she was in the bathroom, pulling her hair out and giving it a good hard brushing, which hurt her shoulder stitches, but made her feel better all around. She stared at herself in the bathroom mirror making sure she had removed the worst of the blood and grime. 

She came back out carrying a broken bowl she had found under the sink and a rag from the bathroom. She had filled the bowl with warm water and dropped a used bar of soap from the shower in the bowl before she carried it out to Joker. 

Heart heart swelled when she saw him. For a moment her eyes stung again. She hadn't realized how close she had been to losing him until she saw the stitched up wound in his stomach. The blood, the little color there was having drained from his face, the cuts and bruises and sheer exhaustion in his face. But he was here, alive, and she had never been happier than at this moment. He had his eyes closed, but she was sure he wasn't asleep. 

She dropped down on her knees next to him and Joker opened an eye to peer at her. 

“I think from now on, you have to walk around the room naked.” 

Harley giggled. “I don't think Frosty and Bob would like that much.” 

Joker pouted. “Oh...yeah...forgot about them. Nevermind—I don't want them looking at my girl naked.” 

Harley giggled and set the water down before she walked over to where she knew he kept a lighter and a pack of cigarettes, then returned to his side with them in her hand. She kneeled down and pulled one out, leaning over to place the cigarette between his lips. Joker grinned, his eyes on her, sitting up just a little. Harley handed him the lighter which he flipped open with the smoothness of old habit. His thumb, at the same time, worked the lighter, producing a flame which he held to the cigarette. Joker turned his gaze from her to the flame. He took a few pulls, the fire dancing at the end of the cigarette. He lit the stick and then, with an expert move, closed the lighter and laid back with a long exhale of smoke. 

“That hits the spot,” Joker said softly, almost in a whisper. 

She grinned. “Good.” 

Harley settled herself down next to her puddin, pulling the bowl of water closer to her and leaned over to run the warm damp rag along his chest again. Joker purred watching her lean over and rub, the water slowly running down his chest. She giggled winked at him as she dragged the rag down his stomach, to the edge of his boxers, then back again leaving a damp trail along his stomach. 

Joker sighed, every muscle relaxing while he took another pull on the cigarette. 

“How long before you think Strange will get the eyeballs?” Harley asked while she moved the rag in circles over his stomach. She dropped the bloody rag in the bowl and grabbed Joker's boxers, easing them down gently, past his hips and down his legs before tossing them over with the rest of the clothing. She then took his socks off so that he was completely naked. Harley reclaimed the rag, running the warm water over each of his long, slim muscled legs. Joker took a deep pull on the cigarette holding the smoke in his mouth before blowing it out through his nose. 

“Mm...probably by morning at the latest.” Joker giggled. “That is going to be so funny! I wish I could see his face!” 

They both laughed at the thought. Harley finished up, taking the water back to the bathroom (Joker watching her naked backside with a contented smile) before returning to snuggle up next to Joker. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, careful of her stitches. 

“So what do we do now puddin?” Harley asked as she ran her fingernails down his chest absently. 

Joker frowned. “I'm tired of Strange. We need to kill him once and for all.” 

Harley giggled. “Yeah!!” 

Joker snickered. “It'll be so much fun!” 

Harley giggled carefully wrapping her arm around his waist Joker sighed finishing his cigarette and butted it out against the wall. They were both quiet when Joker whispered seductively, “Wanna do some slappy slappy?” 

Harley giggled. “Slappy slappy?” 

“Yeah...” He reached over, wincing only a little, and tickled her hips. “Slappy slappy! My hips slapping into yours!” 

Harley squealed, wiggling against him. Joker laughed easing onto his side to face her. He ran his fingers down her face staring into her blue eyes. 

“I was lost without you,” he said softly. 

Harley's expression became serious. “I never want to be away from you again.” 

Joker cupped her cheek, tugging her closer just before he kissed her. At first, he just pressed his lips against hers. Harley felt tears burning behind her eyes; it felt like living again. His lips were slightly cool, but still soft, she could feel the swelling along his bottom lip where he had been hit and there was still a slight taste of blood in his kiss. She brushed her fingers through his green hair marveling at the soft texture of his hair between her fingers, the smooth satin feel of his skin. He kissed her chin then worked his way along her jaw nibbling softly, just enough to tickle. 

Harley giggled. Joker started to move on top of her, but then he winced before lying back. 

“Damn it,” he muttered touching his side where the bandage covered his wound. 

Harley snuggled closer. “You know there are others things we can do besides the Ol' slappy slappy.” 

Joker chuckled, lifting a quizzical brow in her direction. “Oh? Do tell.” 

Harley nodded kissing him tenderly. She turned around lying on her side next to him. 

“Roll toward me,” she said, her tone heated. He smiled doing as she commanded, rolling onto his least injured side so that his groin was almost level with her head. Harley leaned on her uninjured shoulder running her hand along his hip and down his thigh. 

Joker nibbled at her hip. “OOo, are we being kinky Harls?” 

Harley giggled brushing her fingers over his hardening erection. “Maybe a little, but I want you and this way I can have you without hurting you.” 

Joker laughed playfully. “I feel like a Lincoln log! Oooo or a puzzle piece!! Tab A into slot B!” 

Harley started laughing. “Stop it! I won't be able to do anything!” 

Joker giggled. “Oh, but I still can!” He wrapped his arms around her hip burying his face between her legs. Harley squealed when he started to make horribly loud but quite ticklish, “Nom Nom” noises. 

“PUDDIN!!” she wiggled which only made him louder, but then her giggling was mixed with moaning as Joker's tongue started to do a little bit of twirling exploration. Harley brought her leg up a little further, which encouraged Joker to hook her leg under his arm, the new position gave him an easier vantage from which to lick and suck at her. He pulled her closer, his tongue moving slowly up and down. 

Harley giggled as her eyes crossed for a moment, but now that he had slowed down, she was able to start what she had intended to do by lying upside down beside him. She wrapped a hand around his erection firmly, but gently. She wanted to make this to be slow, not vigorous oral sex, just slow and easy; she didn't want him to bust another stitch because they had both become too eager. 

Gradually she rolled her tongue over him, circling the head of his shaft. He moaned against her sending shivers up her core to spread through her body. She enjoyed the vibrations of his laugh against her skin, her body...feeling his laugh was its own form of erotic pleasure. She giggled again and delicately wrapped her lips around him. For a moment she was overcome with emotions. He was alive! He was here with her right now, she was licking and sucking on him, feeling and sharing herself with him. She could feel him, alive right here with her. 

She knew he loved her even if he never said a word and his rescuing her proved his devotion to her without a shadow of a doubt. 

Joker laughed softly then, the sound breezy and warm against her before he took a long, deep lick. His senses were completely surrounded by Harley, her taste, her smell, the feel of her silky soft skin pressed against him, her breasts brushing against his stomach (though the occasion touch against his wound smarted, the rest of the pleasurable sensation washed that away), her thigh against his cheek, the weight of her leg under his shoulder...all of it, the multiple sensations of Harley. He didn't know how he would have continued without her...if he hadn't taken her back. He would have burned Gotham and everyone in the city—there were not enough deaths that would have made up for the loss of her. But she was here, alive and in his arms, her naked body pressed up against his. He smiled, right now was a good night and right now, his life was perfect. 

She snuggled in closer, careful of his belly wound. Joker squeezed his arms around her to let her know everything was all right. 

Joker shuddered when her warm, soft lips started to tenderly kiss his groin, wandering over his pale skin with soft caresses, alternating between delicate presses of her lips, to tiny nibbles of her teeth. He did the same in return, pressing his mouth to her sex, taking deep burning kisses before gingerly catching her flesh between his teeth and pulling just slightly, alternating between his caresses of her intimate areas between sweet, tender licks to ever so slightly painful nips. 

Joker's urge was the take her, roll Harley onto her back and shove himself inside her, to feel that warm wetness surrounding him, but he knew he couldn't do it...at least not tonight. The pain, while intriguing, would be distracting to him and it would distract Harley, which would mean she wouldn't have as much fun and the whole thing would be spoiled. 

So Joker contented himself with licking her, using his tongue to create intricate patterns until she started to groan, pressing herself closer to her puddin's dexterous tongue while she licked and sucked on him in return. She used the end of her tongue to trace the roundness of his testicles, which earned her a giggling shudder from her puddin. That only made Harley grin, more determined to see what other little giggles she could get from him by using her tongue on him. 

Harley gently shifted one of his legs over her shoulder, snuggling in closer, pressing her cheek against his thigh, taking all of him into her mouth (which elicited the most delightfully deep moan from him) then gently pulling back. She whimpered, her body shuddering when Joker licked her at the same time. She bobbed her head gradually, sucking in easy waves of pressure and release which caused Joker to gasp, arching his head back while his arm around her leg squeezed. 

Joker's arms around her hips tugged harder. His lips moved over her sending ripples through Harley until she jerked, coming in a wave that crested and ebbed with the pressure of his lips and tongue. Joker gasped, then licked deeper when she came, causing her to jerk involuntarily in pleasure. He chuckled feeling her moan vibrate up his erection. 

Harley gently, tenderly ran her tongue along him then pressed her lips down, sliding down his length then up again. Joker moaned, shivering. He buried his face against her, his hips thrusting slowly while Harley circled her arms around his hips, her hands pressed against his lower back forcing him to move even slower, easing the thrusts so that he wouldn't accidentally hurt himself. She sucked gradually, yet firmly listening for the changes in his breathing until his panting became almost rhythmic just before he yanked her hips closer pressing his cheek to her thigh groaning out as he burst inside her mouth. 

Harley smiled, drinking him down until he was jerking and shuddering with the aftershocks. Harley slowly released him, placing a sweet kiss on the tip of his shaft before scooting herself around to face him, snuggling into the crook of his arm. 

Joker giggled. “That's the best medicine a guy could ask for...” 

Harley giggled in response. “Mmm...I agree.” 

Harley pulled the blankets around them, snuggling in as close as was humanly possible to her puddin. Both of them quickly fell asleep before Frost returned with something for them to eat. 

* 

Harley woke up to the sound of her stomach growling loudly. She suddenly remembered that Frost had gone to get them food...which they never ate. She tried to sit up slowly, a little groggily, looking around. Joker was still asleep, his body curled around her, his arms tight along her torso; even in his sleep he was unwilling to let her go. She snuggled back down again, gently pulling Joker's head against her bare breasts, stroking her fingers through his hair. He made a small noise snuggling in closer. She was trying to figure out what to do when there was a soft knock at their door. 

Harley pulled the blankets up. “Come in.” 

Bob came in, wearing a white tutu sparkling with glitter and carrying a pastry box in one hand and a gallon of milk in the other, along with a plastic bag of cups. Bob smiled when he saw Harley. He glanced at Joker then back at Harley. 

“He is just sleeping,” she assured Bob with a tired smile. 

Bob nodded. He walked over and crouched down to set the box down along with the milk and cups. He pulled out the cups and filled two of them with milk, then opened the box. Where he had picked up the doughnuts, Harley didn't know or care, as he handed her a bright pink one with rainbow sprinkles. Bob grinned at her then stood up and left with a wave over his shoulder at her. 

Harley laid back, continuing to stroke her fingers through Joker's hair as she bit into the sugary goodness of the doughnut, her whole body vibrating with the yumminess of the pastry. She took another bite when she heard Joker giggle. 

“Got one for me toots?” 

Harley grinned. “Yep, Bob brought us a whole box of goodies. You hungry?” 

“Starved. “ He sat up slowly with a yawn and a wince. Harley scooted up to cradle him against her chest. She reached over and grabbed a doughnut, a green one with it's own rainbow sprinkles, handing the sticky confection to him. He grinned snuggling close while taking a bite. 

“Bob is a good man.” Joker groaned happily. 

Harley giggled “Yeah, he is.” 

She reached over and picked up one of the cups of milk and held it up for him. He grinned taking it and leaned back against her once more, sipping the milk. He set the cup down and smiled at her, a milk mustache just barely visible on his upper lip. 

“I say we stay in today, what'd ya think Harls?” 

“I think that's a wonderful idea!” Harley chuckled, guiding his face to hers and licked the milk from his upper lip to Joker's giggling. 

* 

Late that same evening, Strange was down in his 'secret' lab, pacing. The box with Flamingo's eyeballs sat on one of the counters nearby. He had swiftly hidden them and brought them down here once he was able, without anyone knowing. Strange narrowed his eyes. It was time. No more playing, no more trying to get Dr. Quinzel or the Joker for his experiments...they needed to die. That was the end of it. A proper scientist knew when to pull the plug on an experiment. 

Strange pulled out the desk chair and reached for the inmate files he had on possible patients for his experiments. Calender Man had come along nicely and Strange was going to release him to see what he could do, but he needed to try his new serum on someone with powers. That would be the real test. 

He flipped through several files, reading through the information. Most of the patients with abilities were kept on a special level of the asylum. Getting into the section wasn't an issue, getting out with one of the patients, however, would prove difficult—but Strange was sure he could do it. 

He had read through several files, dismissing some of them right away while others he set aside, and then one file made a smile form across his face. He set all the other files aside opening the one in front of him and spreading out the paperwork. Colby Merkel...The Ragdoll. The man was a contortionist of unusual ability, and he was also a mass murderer. Strange smiled. Now it would be interesting to see what his serum would do to someone like him. 

But first, he wanted to see how his little Calender Man experiment did with his new enhanced strength and toxin immunity. 

Strange turned to look over at Calender Man strapped to his bed. 

Strange smiled. “How would you like to get out there and stretch your legs?” 


	28. I Put a Spell on You

Harley wasn't sure how she did it, but she managed to keep Joker occupied and inside their hideout for nearly two weeks before he became dangerously bored. They had played endless amounts of board games and card games. Joker taught her some magic tricks and how to do some really cool tricks with shuffling cards. Joker was amazing with cards. He even pulled out his razor cards, teaching her how to throw them. Harley had cheated at Monopoly to Joker's delight and they had both cheated at Clue. 

They had thrown darts at drug deals going on in the street below their hideout, sitting on top of the roof in lawn chairs in the warmth of the Gotham evening. When the drug dealers became pissed and tried to pull guns on them, Joker would always have the bigger gun, which more often than not was an Uzi. That usually had them running away. Though a few times they skipped the gun part and Joker spiked the ends of the darts with Joker venom so that he and Harley could lean over and watch the drug dealers laugh themselves to death. Then Bob or Frost would go out and clean up the mess. Now, however, the drug dealers were avoiding the area, conducting their deals elsewhere to avoid trouble with the Joker and Harley. 

It had been a grand two weeks, Harley thought to herself. But it wasn't just that Joker had become bored, it was the news report about the two new “villains” that had been spotted on the streets of Gotham. They had seemed to appear with the fog that rolled in off the water every morning in the weeks that Joker was off the scene. 

This morning, Harley glanced over at her puddin from where she stood by the oven. Joker sat on the couch in a purple bathrobe with his pink bunny slippered feet on the beat up coffee table. Underneath his robe, he wore a pair of boxers that Harley had stolen for him, silk ones in a deep plum color. Harley really liked them, the way the color contrasted with his milk-white skin, but she mostly loved the way the boxers felt, especially when she was slipping them slowly down his long, lean legs to pool at his ankles while she ran her tongue over him listening to the little sounds of pleasure he made when she sucked particularly deep on him. She giggled silently at her dirty mind. 

Joker was also wearing a baby blue My Little Pony t-shirt with Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and rainbow cupcakes on it that read “It's about to get Magical” in glittery letters. (Bob had brought him the shirt much to Joker's delight.) Joker had the Gotham Times paper spread out on his lap, a cigarette hanging from his mouth and a giant mug of coffee that had “Lobotomy patient” across the enameled surface. 

Harley was over by the oven in the tiny kitchen with Bob, who was showing her how to flip pancakes. Bob looked adorable today all in light, soft, baby pink; his tutu was sparkling in the kitchen light from the glitter that was part of the costume, while Harley was dressed in black capri pants and a red corset-like top. Her hair was in pigtails, but she didn't have any makeup on yet. She was standing by Bob watching him work, the floppy red and black socks she had on were rumpled around her ankles allowing her to slip and slide across the floor. 

Joker muttered. “Raggedy Man? The Counter? What kind of names are those? What the fuck is this nonsense!” 

Harley glanced over. “Puddin?” 

Joker shook the paper. “These two new guys. They're calling them Raggedy Man and The Counter. What kind of names are those?” He took his cigarette and started to make a hole in the paper. 

Harley turned and squeaked. “Puddin!!!” 

She ran across the room and snatched the paper away from him. Joker shoved his cigarette into his mouth and folded his arms over his chest, puffing on the cigarette with a pout. That was the moment that the hyenas came dashing into the room chasing each other and making yipping noises as they ran under Joker's legs. 

Harley held the paper out from her body, quickly putting out the tiny fire. Once she had the paper out, she examined the article. Apparently this Raggedy Man had supposedly killed at least four people in four days in Gotham, leaving behind a Raggedy Anne doll as a calling card. The Counter was killing women...two blondes so far. Harley noticed from the pictures in the paper, the victims sorta resembled her. He had apparently written numbers on their foreheads, the number one on the first and a two on the second. 

Harley frowned as she read what else was left behind at the crime scene. “Puddin, did you see this?” 

Joker turned to look over the back of the couch at her where she stood with the burnt paper. 

“What?” he muttered before leaning over to scoop up the hyenas, letting the little guys lick his face while giggling and rubbing their ears holding the cigarette out of their reach. 

“The Counter, he puts numbers on the victims' foreheads, but it says here that this report gained exclusive knowledge from an anonymous source that says The Counter also wrote the name “Harleen” in blood on both victims' chests.” 

Joker narrowed his eyes and frowned. “What?” One of the hyenas was jumping at Joker's cigarette he had pulled from his mouth and was letting dangle from his fingers. 

“Yeah...that's what this article says.” Harley walked around the side of the couch, scooping up one of the hyenas with one hand and sat down beside Joker dumping the cub onto her lap. “Ain't that kinda weird?” 

Joker snuggled up beside her as Harley held the paper open, the two of them examining the article except the small spot where he had burned a hole in it. “Weird? For Gotham?” Joker said with a loud laugh taking a pull on his cigarette before pulling it out again, his arm held over the arm of the couch to prevent the hyenas from jumping for the burning cigarette. Joker wasn't paying attention, the ashes of the cigarette almost hit the floor before Bob hurried over and set an ashtray on the floor right under the cigarette. 

Joker grinned and put the cigarette back into his mouth. 

Around the cigarette he muttered, “I could solve a lot of these killer problems if Gotham would simply let me blow people up when I want.” Joker mused. Harley giggled as she snuggled up close, tossing the paper onto the coffee table. The hyenas batted at each other, Lou on Joker's lap and Bud on hers. Harley scooped then up and set them down on the floor while they enthusiastically licked her face. Once they were on the floor again, she grabbed a ball that was laying wedged between the couch and floor and tossed it across the room for them. 

“So, puddin...when do ya wanna plan on killing Strange?” 

Joker grinned and blew smoke straight up into the air before he reached over with one hand to rub each of the cubs' heads, the little guys leaping up to lick Joker's fingers. “I think, since we are talking about explosions, we need to do something epic! Spectacular! Something Batman will appreciate.” 

Harley laughed. “Why do we want to attract Bats' attention?” 

“Well dearie, because it's Batman!! What's the point of me doing something without letting Batman know I'm doing it?” Joker seemed perplexed by Harley's question. 

Harley wrinkled her nose as she watched Bud and Lou. The two hyenas ran over to Bob, jumping up on his legs. Bob grinned and leaned down feeding them small bites of pancakes. 

Harley pouted folding her arms across her chest and leaned her head against Joker's shoulder. 

“I don't want to end up in Arkham and I don't want Batman to haul Strange off to jail. I want to kill him. But first, I want to hurt him, badly..” 

Joker made a rude noise. “Ppfffttt! I can break out of Arkham anytime I want sweets. I could have broken out when you were there as my doctor, but you were too much fun. I had to stick around.” He gave her a wink. 

Harley narrowed her eyes at him, pressing her lips together in order not to grin, but then she shrugged and gave him a huge smile. She trusted him. If he said he could get them out of Arkham then she would believe him, but she was hoping they could be the ones to kill Strange before Batman had to be involved. She sort of understood her puddin's obsession with Batman...he represented everything that Joker was against. Joker was convinced that there was something between them, soul brothers, two sides of the same coin. But she simply didn't like to have to include Batman in this...she wanted to kill Strange...or worse. She smiled at the thought of doing something worse to Strange. He tried to drive her crazy...she wanted to do the same to him. That would be better than killing him! Just then Joker jerked. 

Joker sat up as an idea came to him. “What if we sneak into Arkham?” 

Harley frowned. “Sneak in?” 

“Yeah! Strange wouldn't expect us to go into Arkham...he would expect us to wait for him to come out, but we should just go in there after him!” 

Joker clapped his hands while Harley frowned. She wasn't too sure about that idea either, it was better than the first one, though she would never say it out loud; she didn't want Batsy involved at all. Before she could say anything about her displeasure, Bob walked over with two plates stacked high with pancakes covered in butter and syrup. He placed one on Joker's lap and the other on Harley's. Joker picked up his fork and poked the pancakes. 

Harley elbowed him in the side. “You better eat puddin or Bob will lecture you.” 

Joker made a face. “Not another mime lecture!” He giggled. 

Joker cut off a large bite and shoved the whole thing into his mouth, syrup dribbling down his chin as he talked around his mouthful. 

“See Bob? I'm eating!” 

Bob smiled and nodded his approval. Joker chewed and swallowed. 

“Bob is like having a mother,” Joker muttered. 

Harley giggled taking a much smaller bite of her own. “Well, you do need taking care of.” 

Joker grinned at her as Harley reached over and used her thumb to wipe away the syrup on his chin. “Isn't that what you do?” Joker asked with a grin. 

She stuck her tongue out at him. 

* 

After eating breakfast, Joker pulled out the laptop he kept under the bed and flopped down cross-legged onto the bed with Harley behind him. “What are ya doing puddin?” Harley asked as she leaned on his shoulders, tugging down his bathrobe so she could nibble on his neck. Joker chuckled and squirmed a little under her attentions. “I'm looking for some old blueprints of Arkham Asylum. I know how to break out—not sure if I can get back in the same way though.” 

“Won't the blueprints be out of date? I mean, if they are online?” Harley asked, moving to sit down beside him. 

“Yep, but a little known fact is that Arkham Asylum is built on the remains of the old asylum. It's still there. I've been through a few of the ancient rooms down there. They left everything; the beds, the equipment.” Joker grinned with a fond expression on his pale features. “It's creepy down there. I've thought on more than one occasion about just making myself a hideout right there under the new asylum, but it smells fairly rank down there.” Joker shuddered and Harley giggled with a smile. 

“Puddin, we could take Strange down there,” she ventured and turned to look at him, her eyes wide with the possibilities of her idea. 

Joker turned to stare at her, a smile spreading across his face. “We could, couldn't we? Then we could take our time...we could drive him mad, my dear. We don't have to kill him; we just have to make him like us.” 

* 

Joker dressed later that afternoon after Bob left to fetch Frost, who Joker planned to send out to the Gotham City library to get copies of the old asylum blueprints. Joker was tying his tie in the mirror while Harley laced up her boots. “I think sweets, tonight we need to go out. It's been a couple of weeks and we're in a rut. Time to get out there and do something fun! Something deadly while we plan our assault on Arkham!” 

Harley narrowed her eyes. “This is back to playing with Batsy isn't it?” 

Joker sighed and pouted. “Maybe....” 

“Puddin.” Harley gave him a look as she said his name in a stern tone and Joker sighed. “Fine. Can we do something fun if it's not to intentionally attract Batman's attention?” 

“Yes.” Harley grinned at him with a firm nod. 

Joker turned narrowing his eyes in thought as he tapped his pale finger against his chin. “Mmm...how about some illegal gambling, dancing, heavy drinking and maybe a fight at a secret underground club only for us less than...law-abiding types?”' 

“Really?” Harley looked less than convinced. 

Joker nodded. “There's an underground establishment, neutral territory for all us baddies.” He giggled. “You're allowed to make deals and such, but otherwise no one is allowed to kill or steal on the grounds.” 

Harley narrowed her eyes at Joker. “How are you allowed in there puddin?” 

Joker put his hand to his chest with an expression of shock on his pale features, looking highly offended. “I will have you know I've been in there lots of times...thrown out lots of times, too, but I'm always allowed back. After a certain period of...mutual space. But I behave myself—most of the time.” 

Harley giggled. “What's this place called?” 

Joker grinned slow and wide. “The Dillinger.” 

Harley smiled running her tongue over her teeth. “The Dillinger, eh?” 

Joker chuckled. “Yep, it'll be great! It will be fun. Let's gather the boys and go dancing!” Joker threw his arms out dramatically before he grabbed her hand, twirling her around once before yanking her up against his chest. He grinned down at her making Harley's knees go weak as he whispered, “And when we get home I'm going to have my way with you....several ways...” 

Harley giggled with delight. 

* 

Frost was driving the long dark Lincoln sedan, a fairly nondescript car for the Joker, but they were doing their best not to attract attention (under Harley's recommendation. Joker had only protested a little before he caved in to Harley's wishes of not drawing attention). Their small group was heading down to the docks. Joker was dressed in one of his best (non-purple) suits, a black suit with a deep purple vest, white shirt and black tie. His hair was slicked back except for one rebellious curl across his forehead. His lipstick was a bright ruby red with a shine that made his lips extremely attractive (at least to Harley's thinking), perfectly matching the lipstick that Harley wore. He even had on a pair of black and white wingtip oxfords. Harley wore a figure hugging sleeveless red halter dress, with an exposed back and a slit up the front that ran the entire length of her leg, stopping just short of her panty line. She also wore a pair of knee-high, black high-heel boots, her long blonde hair done up to resemble Veronica Lake. She had even drawn her eyeliner into drop-eye style. 

Bob sat up front with Frost who was dressed in a black on black suit. Bob was dressed in a rainbow t-shirt, rainbow tutu, black slacks and a fluffy halo atop his shaved head; his sneakers were red high tops with silver glittery shoestrings. 

They arrived at The Dillinger just after midnight. The place was located near Dixon docks, but it was not easily found unless one knew how to get in. They had to go through an old abandoned warehouse, down into an ancient basement, through a couple of tunnels until they found the place, an unobtrusive steel door set in a brick wall. The parking area contained a number of vehicles and though underground, the night sky was visible far above; the parking area sat at the bottom of what appeared to be a pit located within a warehouse. According to Joker, this had once been a speakeasy back during the days of prohibition, one of the few that the cops never found, which was why The Dillinger was still in business—not just because it was neutral territory, but because Batman had never found it either. (Or because it was neutral ground he stayed away. No one knew for sure, but no one questioned why Batman had never been there). 

Frost and Bob flanked Joker and Harley as Joker approached what looked like a steel door with a slat that rested at eye level. 

Joker grinned and did a series of knocks, then waited a heartbeat until the slat opened. A pair of brown eyes stared out then in a low voice hissed, “Password.” 

Joker grinned, all teeth. “Bette Boop.” 

The person behind the door frowned which was clear from the wrinkles around the eyes. “How do you always know the password Joker?” 

Joker's grin broadened. “I'm gifted.” 

The slot closed and there was the sound of several locks being opened before the door was held open for them by a large man. The man was not just large, he was huge and he held himself in such a way that he reminded Harley a lot of a gorilla. He was tall, heavily muscled and hunched, with over-sized fists that didn't drag the floor, but his arms seemed longer than they should be (which was probably from the slouching), but the freckles across his nose managed to diminish the 'scary' quality of him at least somewhat. He had short cropped brown hair and big brown eyes along with a light mocha complexion. When their group came into the place the man grinned, blushing at Bob. 

“Hey Bob, long time no see, where ya been?” 

Bob just grinned and ducked his head with a shy shrug. 

The door man frowned glancing at Joker then back at Bob. “You work for him now?” 

Bob simply smiled and bobbed his head cheerfully. The door man frowned, obviously displeased, but he knew better than to question Bob about the things he did. Bob also seemed to be able to keep himself out of trouble, even when he was living at Arkham which was the last place Grod had heard Bob was staying, but that was a while ago. 

Joker turned with a grin. “ Bob, you can hang out with your friend while we're here. You too Frost, go get a drink, relax!” 

Frost looked a little unsure, but he felt reasonably sure that Joker would be safe here on neutral ground, so he nodded and headed over to the bar thinking that one drink wouldn't be that bad. Hopefully this time Joker would stay out of trouble while they were here... 

Bob's smile was bright as he stepped closer to Grod who grinned, blushing deeply. “Just head to the bar Bob old boy, ask Randi there for two unicorns, she'll know what drink that is.” 

Bob clapped his hands in response then reached out and squeezed Grod's hand. Grod blushed deeper, watching as Bob turned and headed to the bar. Grod then shot a glare at Joker. “You better be treating him good. And you better behave yourself tonight too, Joker sir. Maddie won't be happy if you cause trouble again.” Joker looked offended. “Why does everyone think I'm here to cause trouble? I'm not here for trouble—I promise and cross my heart.” Joker crossed his heart with a smile. “I brought my girl with me.” 

The man at the door frowned and glanced at Harley, looking her up and down in surprise. “You have a girl? Wow, you're a pretty one too.” 

Harley stepped forward smiling and offered her hand. “Harley Quinn, nice ta meetchya.” 

The large gorilla of a man put his hand out, swallowing her hand with his. “Grod, nice to meet you too. You his...girlfriend?” 

Harley's smile was bright. “Yes, I am. I used to be his doctor.” 

Joker chuckled wrapping his arm possessively around Harley's shoulders even though he knew Grod wasn't interested in women; Joker still felt possessive of Harley. “We met at Arkham.” 

Grod frowned in surprised. “Okay, really? Didn't think you were interested in...nevermind. Well, you know the rules Joker.” 

Joker gave him a salute. “That I do! Come along Harley!” 

Joker laughed turning with Harley as he marched into the main bar area. Harley looked around in interest. The place looked exactly how she thought a speakeasy from the 1920's would look. Against one wall was a long bar with a shining wooden counter, while the underside was exposed brick. At the bar a young woman with raven black hair, which she had piled up to look like a 1920's Grecian style with black ribbons, wore an old style sleeveless flapper dress of shimmering black and was working making drinks. The wall behind her was mirrored with rows of bottles, the lights dancing off the colored glass. There was a large round chalkboard hanging near her that held a list of specialty drinks such as coffin varnish, white mule, horse liniment, monkey rum, panther sweat, rot gut and tarantula juice. The lights were art deco style fixtures in multi-colored glass that cast a warm soft glow. Stools along the counter were all occupied by a wide range of people. The rest of the place had round tables with fancy, roundback chairs, a couple of couches, arm chairs and off to the left there was a shining wooden dance floor and a stage where a woman stood singing with a live band performing. Harley frowned, recognizing the song, “Kill for ya.” The woman was wearing a long, skintight, shimmering white dress, her black hair cut severely short. She caressed the microphone as she sang, with the band playing behind her like an old style big band, though with drums and electric guitars instead. There were a handful of couples on the dance floor moving to the song. 

Joker hooked Harley's arm through his and led her over to an empty booth to the far right. The booth had deep vermilion leather seats, with a candle in a red glass candle holder casting a soft scarlet glow in the intimate seating area. Joker handed Harley into the booth before sliding in next to her. 

“So what do you think my dear?” Joker asked softly. 

Harley grinned. “This is way nicer than I thought it would be.” 

Joker laughed. “Maddie runs a nice place. So what would you like to drink?” 

Harley frowned in thought. “A boulevardier cocktail?” 

Joker grinned. “Whatever my girl wants. Be right back.” 

Joker ran a finger along her jaw, using the tip of his finger under her chin to draw her forward to brush her mouth with his before he slid out and headed to the bar. 

Harley watched him go with a happy sigh, she loved watching the way he moved. He always looked as if he were dancing, am easy grace to his steps. She was completely in love, deep, madly in love with him. She watched the way he swayed just a little when he walked, the way his hips moved...and boy could he move his hips she thought, pressing her lips together to prevent herself from licking them like a hungry animal. 

* 

Joker leaned on the counter, grinning as the woman stepped over after handing Bob two rather colorful drinks that looked like liquid rainbows. She sighed when she saw Joker leaning on her counter. 

“Are you going to cause trouble tonight?” she asked picking up a rag and wiping off the counter 

Joker pouted. “Why does everyone think I'm going to cause trouble? GEEZ! No Miss Randi Dandy, I'm not here to cause trouble.” 

“Because that's what you do Joker. You cause trouble. And don't call my Randi Dandy” Randi sighed then glanced back over to the woman who had come in with him. “Who's that?” 

Joker grinned proudly. “That's my girl.” 

Randi lifted a brow at him. “Seriously?” 

Joker grinned brightly. “Yep.” 

The bartender looked dubious. “I didn't think you liked...anybody. I mean, are you two...intimate?” Randi shook her head then she sighed. “You know what? I don't want to know. What do ya want to drink?” 

“One boulevardier cocktail and one coffin varnish” Joker grinned at her leaning against the counter. He leaned over farther and whispered loudly. “And yes we are—a lot!” Joker giggled waggling his eyebrows at her. Randi groaned. “My fault, I asked.” With a sigh of the long suffering, the bartender set to work making the drinks while Joker grinned at her. 

“Wanna hear a joke?” 

* 

Harley was looking around with curiosity. The Dillinger was definitely different from what she expected. There were several mob men, some of whom she had seen on the news and there were some of the masked, costume criminals that she also recognized from TV or she had seen their files at Arkham. It was almost like seeing celebrities! Though none of them were as big as her puddin. They were all strictly small time, Harley thought to herself. 

She was so engrossed in her gawking that she didn't notice the man that sat down next to her until his arm was around her shoulders. 

“What is a goddess like you doing in a mortal place like this?” 

Harley turned, leaning back to get out from under the man's arm. The man beside her had dark curling short hair, with a full beard and mustache, dressed in what could only be described as a toga. Harley couldn't believe she hadn't seen the man before when they walked in—a toga sorta stood out. 

Harley scooted away from him. “My boyfriend is coming back.” 

“Boyfriend? A goddess such as yourself surely could not deign to mingle with mortals. You should come with me, live among the gods on Olympus.” The man smiled reaching out to touch her face, but Harley smacked his hand away. “Hey! No touching!” 

“You are truly a goddess!! Beauty such as yours should be worshiped! It is not meant for mortal man. Come, come with me. I am Zeus! Only one such as I am fit to have such beauty! I would honor you with myself!” Zeus, or whoever he was tried to take her hand, but Harley jerked back with a snarl. “My puddin is going to kill you!! I might kill you!” 

Zeus smiled. “A mere mortal cannot hurt me, my fair goddess, for I am Zeus! 

* 

Randi set the two drinks down glancing toward Joker's girl and frowned. “Okay, I'm going to tell you this once, no killing and if you are going to fight, take it outside. You don't want Maddie kicking you out again.” 

Joker picked up the drinks turning to see what she was talking about and froze when he saw Maxi Zeus making moves on his girl. The only reason that Joker didn't drop the drinks right that second and walk over there to break Maxie's face was because it looked like Harley was going to do it. Instead, Joker held onto the drinks and walked slowly to the table. 

Just as Joker arrived at the table, Harley had slapped Zeus across the face. “I SAID NO!! Don't you dare touch me again!” 

The slap was hard enough that it could clearly be heard through the bar—as well as Harley's exclamation—because the music had just died down, the moment of quiet between songs. Everyone turned to look as Zeus put a hand to his face, but rather than looking angry he looked even more smitten with the blonde woman. 

“Please, oh shining Goddess, O Venus, beauty of the skies To whom a thousand temples rise!! Tell me your name!” Maxi reached for her again. 

“You touch her again, you're going to lose your hand Maxi.” Joker hissed as he, with deliberate patience, set the drinks down on the table. 

Zeus stood up. “Who are you to tell me not to touch her!” 

Joker sighed sliding into the booth on the other side of Harley. “Oh no one. I mean it's perfectly clear that Harley can tell you herself, I'm just here to enforce Harley's wishes and she wishes you not to touch her.” 

Maxi opened his mouth o say something else when a woman stepped forward, seemingly out of the darkness and stopped at the booth. 

“Gentleman, lady—is there a problem?” Her voice was low, but sexy like Lauren Bacall's. 

Everyone turned to look at the woman. She was tall, slender with dark hair cut into a bob right under her ears, with perfectly straight bangs. She wore a tight off the shoulder dress of white with black geometrical designs. She had a cigarette between her fingers as she stood there, her other hand on her hip. 

Joker grinned. “Hey there Maddie. No problem except Zeus here is bugging my girl. He can't seem to understand that no means no!” 

Zeus stood up. “In my defense Artemis, (here Maddie rolled her eyes—Zeus always thought she was Artemis no matter how many times she tried to correct him) she is a goddess!! She should not be slumming with the likes of him!” Zeus pointed a finger at Joker. All Harley could think of was how lucky Zeus was that they were in a “neutral” territory bar or Joker would have ripped the skin right off his face, which made her squirm in her seat. Was it wrong that she found that prospect sexy? She brought her hand up to hide the little smile that danced across her lips. Joker, seeming to sense her desire, wrapped his arm tight around Harley's waist. 

Maddie smiled. “Zeus my sweets, why don't you come with me to the bar and let me buy you a drink?” 

Zeus frowned. He seemed undecided until Maddie sauntered over and wrapped her arm around his. “Come on, you can tell me about Olympus.” 

Zeus was reluctantly led away by Maddie. Joker narrowed his eyes, watching the retreating Zeus, but after a few seconds he turned back to Harley. “Sorry about that honeycakes.” 

“Oh it's okay puddin.” Harley grinned at Joker, picking up her drink and taking a sip. “Oh this is good.” 

Joker sipped his own drink, still watching Zeus who now seemed to be completely involved in telling a story, his hands moving around as Randi and Maddie listened. Harley could feel the anger coming off of her Joker in waves. The band had just started playing a new song, a slow song, “I Put a Spell On You.” 

Harley set her drink down. “Dance with me puddin?” 

Joker grinned at her letting her pull him to his feet. “I would love to dumpling.” 

* 

Joker walked Harley out onto the dance floor, grinning as he moved with a slow grace. She wrapped her arms around his neck while Joker wrapped his arm around her waist, lifting her off her feet and spun her slowly around while Harley laid her head against his shoulder. He set her down on her feet and then took one of her hands in his while keeping his other arm around her waist, smiling down at her with shining ruby lips. Together they began to move across the dance floor in a modified waltz. 

Joker moved with expert grace and ease while Harley did the same, her gymnastics training making her naturally graceful. They smiled, completely forgetting about anyone else on the dance floor or in the bar as they waltzed to the music. Joker spun her around, then back into his arms, rotating her in the circle while the singer caressed the microphone, her voice like spun honey. Joker spun Harley out again, then back into his arms, but in the same moment he lifted her up off her feet, then up over his head where he spun her around while Harley, giggling, held her arms out. Joker chuckled, then easily brought her back down to her feet and into his arms, and the two of them flowed together in perfect harmony. He spun her in place, then pressed her against him lifting her just slightly off her feet as he spun them around, then with ease and grace, he dipped her back, showing his strength by how easily he dipped her with just one arm keeping her from spilling onto the floor. He lifted her back to her feet just as easily. 

Joker grinned brightly. “You are lovely my murderous little harlequin.” 

Harley giggled. “My handsome puddin.” 

Grinning, Joker glided her around him, only losing contact with her hand for a couple seconds as they moved around the dance floor, spinning around each other, never losing eye contact. Harley's heart soared. She had never been in love before Joker, but she knew, this was more than simply being in love; this was special. Joker grinned. He had never been in love before either...not that he remembered anyway, but Harley, Harley was special. She was his soul mate if such things existed...his girl...his Harley. 

Joker and Harley leaned out from each other, holding hands before he pulled her back, spun her around just before he lifted her up over his shoulder. She leaned back gracefully with Joker's hands on her hips, one leg pointed gracefully, the split in her dress falling open to show off her legs while Joker spun around just before he grabbed her leg gently, angling her body across his torso, holding her seductively while he dipped down with her to gently place her back on her feet and tug her against him. Harley swooned looking up into his eyes. Joker grinned running the tips of his fingers along her jaw and down her neck before he tightened his grip around her waist with his other arm, and then kissed her. 

Harley moaned, her arms going around his neck as Joker dipped her back, kissing her with an intensity that had her knees feeling like actual jelly. 

When Joker put her back on her feet, just as the song ended, they were met by applause from the patrons...all except Maxie Zeus who was staring hatefully at Joker. 

* 

It was nearly five in the morning when Joker and Harley finally stepped out of the bar. Joker had given Bob the night off to spend with Grod and Frost had gone to the car to catch a couple of winks before he was to drive them home. 

Harley was giggling, clearly drunk as she hung all over Joker. “Oh puddin, yer so handsome!! Take me, take me now!!” She wiggled her body against his in the most enticing way as she whispered and giggled. “I want to suck you off...” 

Joker grinned whispering dirty things to her. “Oh I'm gonna take you, going to take you home and lick my way down your entire body. I love when I'm face deep between your legs.” Joker ran the back of his finger along her jaw while Harley giggled leaning into him. 

Joker brushed his nose against her cheek, his voice was low, seductive, sending pleasant little ripples down her spine. “I keep fantasizing about my shaft in your mouth, those red lips wrapped around me, that pink tongue of yours licking...you keep sucking...you don’t stop until I am dripping down your throat as I thrust...then I hold you down, spreading your legs wide...” 

Harley's giggle changed to a purr of pleasure at his words. He hissed against her her, his tongue snaking out to tickle her ear. “I want to bend you over and take you from behind, making you moan while I play with your clitoris. Imagine my fingers rubbing along you Harley...” 

Harley giggled leaning heavily against Joker, feeling all hot and bothered, when Maxie Zeus stepped out of the darkness in front of them. He held in his hand a knife, but the blade was zig-zagged like a stylized piece of lightning. 

Joker rolled his eyes. “Are you kidding me? Really? Taking the whole, “I'm Zeus the God of lightning bolts and turning into farm animals in order to fuck everything in sight a bit too far aren't you Zeusy?” 

Maxie held himself up to his full height. “You mortal, are not worthy of a Goddess! You will unhand her, give her to me and I will let you live! Defy me mortal at your own peril!” 

Joker sighed. Harley was a giggling mess of happy drunkenness. “Hey back off Bull god!! My puddin is gonna kick your sorry ass!!” Harley threw her fist up in the air, tottering dangerously on her heels. Joker giggled. “Oh you are so cute Harls. Here, lean on the wall sweetie and let daddy take care of this.” 

Harley giggled. “Okay puddin, give 'em the old one-two punch!” 

Joker turned and smiled at Zeus. “Ready?” 

Maxie lunged. Joker, grinning, kicked, his long leg catching Zeus in the chest knocking the man backwards, but it didn't slow Zeus down for more than a heartbeat. The man managed to keep his footing and came at Joker again. Joker grinned, knocking Zeus's knife hand down, he then stepped forward and brought the flat of both hands up and slammed them against Maxie's ears. 

Maxie swung his other fist, but Joker easily knocked Zeus's hand out of the way and brought his own fist up, striking Maxie firmly in the diaphragm. He blocked another knife jab by Zeus and swung, twisting on the ball of his foot to bring his left elbow up and into the side of Maxie's jaw, effectively dislocating it. With a laugh, Joker followed that strike with a rapid punch in the same place on Maxie's jaw, another punch to Maxie's diaphragm, then another punch to the other side of Maxie's jaw. Maxie dropped his knife, both hands flying up to his mouth, though holding it brought no relief from the agony coursing through his face. Joker grinned as he twisted to the side and with a snap kick, he hit 

Maxie's knee with the heel of his shoe. The knee made a sickening crunch sound, then with a little bit of a jump in his step, Joker kicked his opponent in the chest, sending the “god” down to the ground. 

Maxie laid on the pavement, huffing and panting trying to catch his breath through his dislocated jaw. Joker grinned looking down at him. “You really should get a different kind of work Maxie sweetheart, you are just not cut out to run with the big boys.” 

Joker walked around slowly and gave Maxie a good kick in the side, hard enough that he was sure he broke a rib or two. He blew Maxie a kiss before he walked back over to 

Harley who was clapping her hands enthusiastically. 

“That was amazing puddin!!! Oh Mistah J, you are just the best!!” Her voice changed from cheering cheerleader to seductive mistress. “I’ve been really bad…I think I need someone to spank me.” She giggled falling against Joker's chest. He pulled her tight, his hands wrapping around her rear, his scraped knuckles not bothering him in the least as he pressed her up against him. 

“Mmm...I don't think I can wait until home...” With that Joker lifted her up and threw her over his shoulder. Harley squealed happily as Joker carried her off for the car where Frost was waiting. 

* 

They made it to the car, but instead of opening the door and climbing into the back seat, Joker bent Harley over the hood of the car. She squeaked and giggled, wiggling her rear at him. Joker groaned as she rubbed against him. He was hard enough it hurt. He grabbed her dress yanking the fabric up past her waist and grinned wide at the fact she wore no panties and with the heels, she was the prefect height. He undid his slacks, pulled her back just a little, and using his right leg, Joker spread her legs a little wider just before he slid into her. Together they groaned. Harley was warm and oh so wet, Joker thought sucking on his bottom lip enjoying the feel of her, the intense roll of heat she caused to race up from his groin and spread throughout his body. 

Harley groaned rolling back against him, his hardness piercing her was so good she thought. She pressed her hands against the hood of the car, shoving back against him. 

Joker grabbed her hips, yanking her hard back against him, at the same time, thrusting forward hard enough that their flesh made an audible smacking noise. Joker giggled and gave her backside a playful smack while he thrust. Harley yelped. “Hey!” 

Joker giggled more. “Oh, you like that?” He smacked her again, watching the way his shaft moved in and out of her, disappearing into her warmth before coming back again. He smacked her backside before he grabbed her and squeezed again. 

Harley gasped. “Oh puddin! I like everything you do.” 

Joker chuckled. “I like everything you do too, my little cupcake.” 

* 

Inside the car, Frost was jostled awake by the sudden shifting of the car's weight, only to see Joker lifting Harley's dressed up while undoing his slacks. Frost hissed, “Oh shit!” He quickly ducked down so he wouldn't have to see anything, but that didn't save him from hearing the two of them or the jumping of the car as they fucked against the hood. 

* 

Joker ran his hands over her backside, enjoying the soft round flesh in his hands just as the first drops of rain started. Joker grinned, watching the drops of water on her skin running down her backside. Joker smiled even wider, watching the way his fingers left red marks in her skin when he squeezed, the smack of his pelvis slamming into her backside. Oh, and her cries! Joker thought. He took a few more hard slams into her body before he yanked out, which had Harley whimpering. 

“Puddin!!” 

But before she could protest more, Joker spun her around and lifted her up onto the hood, spreading her legs. Joker yanked her to the edge and slammed into her again, pressing himself inside of her as far as he could. At the same time he reached behind her neck to unclasp the halter of her dress so that the red fabric fell away from her breasts. Harley gasped arching her back as the cooler air and the rain hit her bare skin. Her nipples were already hard, but the breeze and rain against them made them harder. Joker leaned forward, his tongue skimming over her breasts. When he flicked the tip of his tongue over her intensely sensitive nipples, she nearly screamed with pleasure. 

“PuDDIN!! PUDDIN!! Ah ah aha!!!” Harley struggled to keep herself from sliding (which was difficult with how hard Joker was slamming into her, but that was fine with her because he felt incredible) she came like a whip snapping, hard and fast screaming out. “JOKER!!” 

Her back arched, her whole body tight with the intensity of her orgasm, but Joker didn't give her time to ease back. Grinning he pinched one of her nipples. 

* 

Inside the bar Randi was cleaning up while Grod and Bob helped with the chairs when they all heard Harley's yell from outside. Randi turned beet red. “I don't even want to imagine.” She shuddered. 

* 

Joker's breathing was coming hard and fast; watching the rain running across her bare breasts, the way they bounced with each of his thrusts, and how she felt was all...perfect, he thought. Joker moaned plunging himself deep into her hot core, his eyes fluttering with the intensity. Joker ran the flat of his hand between her breasts up to her mouth where his fingers traced the shape of her bottom lip, smearing her lipstick. Harley snapped her teeth at his finger causing him to laugh. He ran his hand back down her body, over her stomach, stopping at her pelvis to slide his thumb between her folds and rolled his thumb, pressing down on her clitoris with gentle, but firm strokes of his thumb. Harley had brought her legs up, spreading them wide for him, gasped and arched off the hood. He licked his lips watching her reactions before he stopped. 

He grabbed her legs, tossing them up on his shoulders wrapping his arms around her thighs, holding them tight against his torso, he bit the side of her knee just before for he started thrusting harder still... 

“Hehehe...Harley...” He giggled and moaned with pleasure. 

* 

Frost wrapped his arms around his head. Why hadn't he gone home? 

* 

Joker lifted Harley up, not wanting to pull out of her, he wrapped his arms tight around her, allowing her to wrap her legs around his waist as they awkwardly made it to the back seat door. (For a brief moment Frost thought of locking the doors, but just as quickly decided against it.) 

Joker just barely managed to get the door open before he and Harley were tumbling into the back seat. It took a few moments of awkward scooting, but soon they were inside. Joker held her tight, his fingers stroking through her hair while his hips moved with a slow and deep intensity. 

“Harley,” he whispered her name plunging as deeply as he could into her body again. 

Harley murmured. “Puddin...oh puddin...” 

She reached up caressing his face feeling the swell as Joker came closer to his climax, their breathing became more erratic, their hips thrusting to meet each other, their bodies tense with the build up until when they came, they came together. Their orgasms peaked and cascaded out, rippling through each other. Joker dropped his forehead against hers, closing his eyes when he burst inside her, releasing all the tension in his body at once with a low groan. 

Harley felt as if she would never be able to move again. They lay there together in the back seat quiet for a few seconds before they both started to giggle. 

Without moving out of her Joker giggled. “Home, Frost!” 

* 

Across town, the rain reached the asylum. Strange was waiting at the back of Arkham. This area was supposed to be well lit, but as with many things at the asylum, the lights had blown out ages ago and no one had bothered to fix them. The security cameras were dead as well; he could see them pointed down at the ground, unmoving. The only time guards were back here was when they snuck back here for a smoke or a quickie. 

Strange's two pet projects were supposed to be coming in to report. He had read the papers, the murders. It was nice to know that they were successful...mostly. He had not created them just to be serial killers...hell, any maniac could be a serial killer without being enhanced. Just look at his patient Victor Zsasz. If he had wanted that he could have simply let Victor go to run through Gotham. No, he was trying to create something special. And his supposedly new and improved Calanderman....now called the Counter by the papers, wasn't really living up to Strange's expectations. Killing women that met Dr. Quinzel's physical attributes? How...dull. Then to read he was writing names? The Counter's enhanced strength and mass were being wasted. As for Raggedy Man, he was a little more inventive, but Strange was still disappointed. So far his experiments had made them controllable, but they were still resorting to there basic drives—killing. The only thing he had managed to do was issue simple orders that they would obey, but once loose...He sighed. Maybe he needed to adjust the serum. That was it!! An adjustment was in order. He tapped his fingers against his chin as he waited for them to arrive. Counter (or Calaenderman) arrived first. Strange frowned when he saw him. He looked much the same as before, bald, not very distinctive really, but with the serum's help he had increased in size and had become compliant to Strange's orders to a certain extent. 

“Stand there please.” Strange pointed and the man did as he was ordered, standing to one side and seemed to shut himself off, going limp as he stood there and stared off into nothingness and rain waiting for his next task. 

A few minutes later Raggedy showed up looking like a drowned rat. Strange sighed when the other man arrived. He needed to make some minor adjustments to his formula before he let them out again. “Come along, my sons. Let's see what I can do for you both.”


	29. Maps, Authors and Sewer Tunnels

It was raining steadily, the drops hitting the window hard and heavy enough that if someone looked outside all they would see would be a sheet of grey obscuring the view. Inside their quiet little hideout, Bob—who was dressed in a pair of bright red sweatpants, a “wife-beater” shirt that he had sewed lace on, and a tutu of glittery red—walked over and set a large bowl of popcorn down on the worn kitchen table along with an extra large glass of chocolate milk which he set between Harley and Joker. 

Joker gave the large silent man a sour look. Harley quickly reached over, grabbed the bowl and glass, and set the bowl on her lap. She moved the glass to a corner of the table where it would leave a ring on the table's already battered finish instead of the maps which were currently spread out on the table. Joker, who was sitting right next to her, his chair scooted up close enough that he could hook a leg around one of her legs (which he was currently doing), reached over and grabbed a handful of popcorn, jamming the whole handful into his mouth at once while studying the papers on the kitchen table. 

Harley wore her pajamas, a one-piece red onsie with a hood that had red bunny ears on the top, along with a pair of fuzzy pink bunny slippers, her blonde hair divided down the middle and braided into two long braids making her look no older than eighteen. Joker had on a pair of purple pajama pants and an oversized purple t-shirt that read “I'm Dying Here” across the chest, along with a pair of slouchy green and yellow striped socks on his feet. His green hair, which he usually wore slicked back, was slightly damp from the shower he and Harley had taken together, and was now curling and rolling in waves around his head, a few locks having fallen forward over his brow to soften his usually sharp features. On the table in front of them sat the blueprints of the two asylums, old and new, rolled out side by side, and held down by daggers in the corners of the table. 

On top of the blueprints was a small photocopy of a hand-drawn map that supposedly showed all the bootlegger tunnels that ran from Arkham and into Gotham used during the height of Prohibition. Frost informed them that the author of the book, “Gotham and Prohibition” didn't know exactly how accurate the map was (at least from what Frost had read in the book), since some of these tunnels had become lost, or blocked off over the years, especially as the new sewer system was built. The old sewers by themselves were some of the most complex, labyrinth-like structures in the world, but with the addition of the newer sewer tunnels it was downright dangerous to venture into Gotham's sewer tunnels. The author himself had only explored a small section of Gotham's tunnels, but the map was a speculation of the tunnels he believed connected Arkham to Gotham. 

Though Frost only had a copy of the map for the bootlegger tunnels, he had done one better with the Arkham blueprints; he had brought the originals. The newest version of Arkham Asylum was built directly over the top of the old one, so that there were even more intake sections of the old asylum down below the new asylum than what little that Joker had seen when he had accidentally found his way down there. 

Frost, looking about as casual as Harley had ever seen him, still in his suit, but with the tie undone and hanging around his neck, was pointing down at the map. 

“Some of these tunnel systems seem to run from the asylum under the water and connect straight with Gotham. They are probably really dangerous Boss. I mean, we have no idea about the condition of them and even that author guy who wrote that book, he wasn't sure of the extent or condition of the tunnels. I just—I don't know Boss. I think this is going to be too risky.” 

Frost pointed at a few others sections on the map. “These tunnels connect to the old Gotham sewer and were part of the tunnel systems used to smuggle booze during Prohibition, at least these are the ones that the writer guy knew about. The guy who wrote the book wrote that he had only explored a handful of them.” Frost repeated himself in the hopes that he could impress upon Joker just how dangerous this whole plan of sneaking into the asylum through the sewer was going to be. But he was fairly confident his words were going right over Joker's head. 

Joker grinned and rubbed his chin. Harley leaned over and stuck some more popcorn in Joker's mouth forcing him to chew before he could speak, then she handed him her glass of milk, which he took a quick sip from leaving a chocolate mustache on his upper lip when he spoke. Joker pointed at the map. 

“Ah, so we could get onto the island and no one would even know we were there and we could do it through these old bootlegger tunnels?” 

Frost shrugged. “Maybe. It's going to be really dangerous Boss, not even sure those tunnels are still there. They could be collapsed, flooded, maybe both...” 

Joker smiled with a wicked gleam in his eyes. He clearly had something in mind. 

“Yes, yes...but what if we had a guide, someone who knew these tunnels that might help?” 

Frost and Harley both looked at Joker with quizzical expressions. Joker giggled grabbing a handful of popcorn and throwing a piece up in the air then catching it easily with a snap of his perfectly white, straight teeth. “So, Frost, you looked through the book right?” 

Frost nodded. “Yes Boss, I checked it out from the library.” 

Joker chuckled “You know Frost, I think we should invite the author to come and visit with us, don't you Harley?” 

Harley looked between Joker and Frost, her mouth full of popcorn. She grabbed the chocolate milk and took a large swallow before she answered. “Sure puddin.” 

“Let's see the book Frost.” Joker stood up, stretched and took the bowl of popcorn from Harley before taking her hand and lifting her to her feet, holding her hand and tugging her over to the couch with him. 

Frost went over to a navy blue messenger bag he had brought in with him and rummaged through it before he came up with a library book. The book itself was fairly large, maybe three hundred pages or so covered in the typical plastic jacket that most library books had. Frost walked over to the beat up old couch and handed the book to Joker where he now sat with his legs propped up on the living room coffee table. Harley was snuggled up against his side just as Frost brought the book over and handed it to his boss. Joker frowned studying the book, turning the book over to examine the back, then the front. The front showed a picture of gangsters from an old photo, all of them standing in front of the Old Gotham City courthouse. Joker opened the book to look at the back sleeve that showed a picture of the author, Bruno Heller, a man in his early fifties, with snow white hair. Joker frowned and studied the photo for a moment with one eye narrowing slightly. “He looks like a professor.” 

Harley looked over and nodded. “Geez puddin he does, looks just like this professor I had in college., Professor Jordon. Boring old guy.” 

Joker wrinkled his nose. “I hated school.” 

Harley's interest was suddenly peaked. “Do you remember school?” 

Joker laughed. “Nope, but I know I would've hated it! Too many rules, sit in your seat, don't pull girls hair, don't set fires, don't stab your fellow students with pencils!” He giggled. “Frost, find me an address. I want to know where our friend Bruno Heller lives.” 

Frost nodded. “Sure thing Boss.” 

Bob was cleaning up after making popcorn when Joker yelled. “Now, both of you out!!” 

Frost nodded. “I'll get Heller's address and give you a call Boss.” 

Joker grinned. “Good man. Bob...go do whatever it is you do!” 

Bob grinned and waved merrily. Harley sat up leaning over the back of the couch. “See ya later Bob, Frost!” 

“Bye Miss Quinn.” Frost gave her a smile as he bent over to grab his bag. 

Soon, the two of them were alone. Harley set the popcorn bowl down on the little living room table and snuggled in close to Joker who was flipping through the book. 

He frowned. “You know sweets, this would have been a fun time to be alive.” He grinned with a chuckle. “Bootlegging, pirates, shootings...money to be made. Could you imagine the fun we would have had?!” 

Harley giggled. “I would love to see you in those clothes.” 

Joker glanced down at where her head rested against his shoulder. “You would have looked pretty hot too my little minx. Not that you don't look good enough to eat all the time as it is.” 

Harley blushed with a glance up at him. “So puddin, what's your plan?” 

Joker smiled. “Mr. Heller is going to give us a grand tour of the tunnels and he is going to get us over to Arkham and into the asylum.” 

“What if he doesn't want to help us?” Harley asked wrapping her arm around his. 

Joker laughed tossing the book onto the table.. “Ah Harley, you shouldn't worry! I'm great with people! They always want to help me out.” 

Harley giggled. “You're funny.” 

“Yes I am.” Joker turned, yanked his arm free, then put both his hands on her shoulders and held her back against the couch practically hopping on top of her. Harley squeaked in surprise. “Puddin!!” 

He giggled. “Now that we're alone, I'm completely enthralled by this little outfit you have on Harley dear. Where on earth did you get it?” 

Harley wiggled, trying to get free. “Online.” 

“Really...and what on earth do you wear under something like this dear?” Joker asked with what seemed genuine curiosity as he grabbed the zipper and started to pull the metal slider down slowly tugging it lower and grinning with delight when he realized she wore nothing underneath. 

“Well, well, well...what a nice surprise!” Joker purred yanking the zipper down to her belly button. 

“Oh look at that...” He leaned down and licked her stomach. 

Harley giggled. “I thought we were suppose to be planning puddin...” 

Joker, grabbed the back of the couch with one hand, leaning forward to use the flat of his tongue to trace up her stomach to between her breasts, rolling his tongue under the curve of her right breast, his breath warm against her skin, his other hand grabbing the side of her onesie and yanking the fabric aside to expose her other breast. 

“Mm...plenty of time...after my sweet Frost brings me Heller's address. Until then, I need something to occupy my time...” He pulled the onesie aside, his tongue lavishing her nipple, leaving the hard nub wet. He continued to roll his tongue over her breast, grinning when she started to make the little noises he loved to hear, little breathy gasps, sweet little hitches in her breathing. Joker shifted his position, knocking one of her legs to the floor, shoving his leg under her other one that was pressed against the back of her couch. He sat up, leaning over her while he continued to lick at her breast, then made her arch off the couch when he sucked, opening his mouth wide to suck hard on her breast. Harley reached up to grab his hair with a breathy groan. 

Joker smiled wide against her soft flesh. He loved the feel of her nails scraping against his scalp, the way she pulled almost painfully on his hair. He bit down on her nipple, hard enough to make her gasp, but not so hard as to cause her any damage. He held her nipple between his teeth, flicking the tip of his tongue over the sensitive surface and grinned when she whimpered while her fingers yanked at his hair. 

He laughed and switched sides with a hiss. “Harley...my Harley...mine mine, all mine...” 

He attacked her other nipple, drawing a gasp from her lips. “Oh puddin! Yes...oh yes...yours...always...” 

Joker licked her other breast, coating it with his saliva, circling her nipple then blowing on it with his pursed lips. Harley groaned. 

Joker chuckled. “You little creamy cupcake...” 

He wrapped his arm around her, tucked his hand between her and her onesie, and slid his hand lower so he could grip her rear. “Mm...I think I like your onesie Harley.” He laughed and returned his attention to sucking on her breast. Harley crossed her eyes; the tickle he was creating rode hot through her blood, raced to her groin making her ache while he drove her mad with his attentions focused on her breasts. She yanked at his hair as he persisted on teasing her nipples. 

“Oooh...Mistah J!” Harley groaned, a cross between a whine and a moan of need. 

That was when Joker sat up, forcing her to drop her hands from his hair, his smile wide and bright. He lifted a brow at her. “Sit up Harley.” 

Harley, her breath heaving, did as he asked. Joker grabbed the sides of her onesie at her shoulders and yanked it down her arms, continuing to tug it once she had pulled her arms free. She had to quickly push herself up on her arms, arching her back and hips off the couch or else he would have torn it as he tugged it down quickly. “Puddin!! Don't tear it!!” Harley pouted. 

Joker laughed. “I'll buy you another one!” 

He pulled it down her legs, fussing with frustration when the damn thing caught at her ankles. 

“Harley!” he growled with annoyance. 

Harley quickly stood up, almost falling into the table. “Let me puddin!! Geez! I just bought it!! I don't want you tearing it!” 

Joker flopped back onto the couch watching her and crossed his arms as he pouted like a child. “Well, get it off!!” 

Harley pulled the onesie off her ankles. “I am, I am,” she muttered. 

She yanked the onesies off her ankles, tugging a little awkwardly while she balanced on one foot, finally pulling the onesie off and dropping the outfit to the floor. Joker relaxed, grinning brightly when he saw her standing there completely naked. He put his arms out and smacked his fingers against his hand in a gimme motion. “Come here!” Harley giggled as she stepped closer. Joker had put his legs back up on the coffee table so she had to step over his legs. Joker growled, grabbed her hips, and yanked her forward, his tongue immediately started to lap at her stomach, taking long slow licks up to her hipbone where he bit her. Harley jerked reaching forward to grab his hair. Joker growled against her skin. “Grrr...Harley...” 

He yanked her forward forcing her to drop to her knees on the edge of the couch, straddlling his lap. Joker dragged his tongue and teeth against her skin, gliding to her groin. The tips of his fingers tickled down the sides of her thighs, then back up, sending goosebumps racing over her skin. With a giggle, Joker slouched down more in the couch while yanking her up, which caused her to fumble forward, her hands catching the back of the couch so that her groin was level with his mouth. His gazed up at her and waggled his green eyebrows. “There we go...perfect.” 

Harley giggled. “Puddin what...” 

But then he was planting tender kisses, first at the sensitive place where her hip and thigh met, her most ticklish spot, but his kiss was sweet, slow, followed by him extending his tongue, tracing the soft skin there, rolling his head to trace the triangle of her groin. Harley dug her fingers into the back of the couch, her breath slightly shallow as she waited for his tongue to delve deeper. Which, when he did, she gasped. His tongue was warm and wet, diving between her intimate lips. 

“Puddin!” 

Joker giggled against her as he slid his hands around to grab her rear and yank her forward to drive his tongue deeper, sucking and licking her clitoris, his hands massaging her rear. He chuckled, surrounding himself in her scent, the soft warm wetness of her, tasting her while the his tongue slid hard between her folds, pressing, licking, flicking and probing. He alternated his licking with tiny sucks of his lips, then the harder press of his lips against her clitoris. Harley groaned and her eyes fluttered when he sent warm tickles curling up from her groin to roll through her. Harley's knuckles turned white while she rode his mouth, her hips gliding back and forth. Joker groaned as he sucked on her, pulling her down closer to his mouth, making her slick with saliva and her own fluids, delving as deeply as he could with his tongue. Harley's breath started coming in pants, her orgasm coming closer and closer, her hips moving slightly faster (she was trying not to lose control, didn't want to smack him in the face with her pelvis and stomach in her enthusiasm, but his touch, his attentions nearly made her lose her mind with pleasure.) 

Joker dragged his hands down her backside, his fingers digging into her flesh as he dragged them down the back of her thighs, his nails leaving red marks down her skin, then back up again, his fingers sliding between her cheeks, sinking lower into her skin, sucking hard on her clitoris, catching it between his teeth for a split second, but that pleasurable pain was enough to bring her to climax with a deep groan, her back arching. “Uuhh...” 

Joker chuckled as he licked, sucked, and made her whole body shudder while her orgasm rippled and rolled through her. He pressed his lips to her, taking a long, wet kiss against her and moved his jaw, covering her with the entirety of his mouth. Harley cried out. “PUDDIN!!” Her back arched in a bow when she came for a second time. Joker grinned, coming up for breath. He laughed again when Harley looked down at him, her braids falling forward to frame her face, her cheeks red, her lips rosy. She shivered as she looked down at him, his lips and chin soaked, glistening with her. 

“You like that Harls?” Joker chuckled. 

Harley giggled, her eyes fluttering. “Yes puddin. Very much.” 

Joker grinned, his voice husky with need. “Come here pumpkin, Daddy wants you. Fuck me Harls...fuck me hard.” 

Harley giggled. “Oh yes puddin...I'm definitely going to fuck you puddin...” 

Joker quickly brought his hips up as he shoved his pants down, his pale erection was nearly trembling with his desire to have her on him, holding himself ready, wrapping a long fingered hand around his erection, while with his other hand on her hip he lowered her down on his waiting erection. 

Harley shifted herself around, sliding down and getting her legs into a position that was comfortable for them both. Joker wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close, burying himself deep inside her, feeling that warm wet feeling of Harley's body surrounding him. His expression relaxed as the feeling of her, the way her muscles pressed against him, held him inside her. He yanked her forward so that he could attack her breasts with his mouth, immediately biting and sucking the nipple of one breast into his mouth, grinning against her skin when he heard her sharp inhale of breath. Harley gasped at the feel of his teeth against her skin, the flick of his wet tongue and the intense feeling of his shaft embedded in her. She started to raise her hips up and down, a few quick movements, then slower, wanting to feel every inch of him as she impaled herself on him in long hard thrusts of her pelvis. 

Joker whimpered against her skin. She felt so good, so tight and wet. He switched his attentions to her other breast, catching her nipple between his teeth and slid his hands down to press her hips down on him. 

“Oh puddin...” She wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands grabbing fistfuls of his hair forcing his head back from her chest. She growled at him while grinding against him. Joker grinned licking his bottom lip enjoying the slight pain of her fingers forcing his head back. 

“Harley...my little minx.” He smiled wide when she yanked his head back and then tugged on his hair painfully as she started to grind her hips harder. “Puddin...uuhh...You like this? Do you?” 

Joker eyes fluttered and he groaned. “Yes Harley, oh yes...” 

He grabbed her hips, pressing his fingers into her skin knowing there was a good chance he was going to bruise her, enjoying the feel of her hips thrusting hard and fast, grinding down on him while she continued to yank on his hair, forcing his head back just a bit further. Harley leaned down to run the flat of her tongue up his throat, thrusting harder until she screamed out a long cry of pleasure, her whole body arching with the climax that ripped through her. Joker followed right behind her. Watching her orgasm was the most beautiful sight; he couldn't hold back. Joker thrust his hips up, burying himself as deeply as possible, bursting inside her, his eyes actually crossing with the intensity of his orgasm. 

* 

Later that night, or rather, early that morning, the rain was still beating heavily against the window and Harley was sleeping comfortably. Joker smiled reaching out to stroke her hair back from her face. She had her hands tucked under her cheek against the pillow, the little bit of light coming from the streetlights outside danced across her pale skin when his phone rang. Joker was rolled over, leaning on his elbow and picked up the phone then hit the button. “Frost?” 

“I found him Boss. He is right here in Gotham.” 

Joker's grin rolled across his features. “Good work sweetheart, good work indeed.” 

* 

Mr. Heller lived in a small brownstone in the Coventry area of Gotham. His apartment looked like your typical scholar's abode with books stacked everywhere, an old worn couch with a multicolored crochet blanket thrown over the back. There was an old water stained desk where an ancient typewriter sat, and a beat up looking wheeled desk chair. His kitchen was small and part of the living room that had an old TV, not one of those modern flat screens. The throw rugs on the old wooden floor were well-worn and the ancient radio was playing soft jazz. It was a Tuesday night and Heller was working at his typewriter. It was an antique that had belonged to his grandfather, also a writer. Where Heller wrote non-fiction focusing on the history of Gotham, his grandfather had written fiction. Heller's first book on the bootlegging history of Gotham had been written ten years ago. The book had done well, but his new book, the one he had been working on since then, was going to be about the history of gangs in Gotham. Yes, others had written about the same thing, but his book was going to focus on the evolution from the first gangs to the gangs that operated in Gotham now. 

He was wearing a pair of cordory pants and an old plaid shirt, with his favorite slippers and an old brown sweater against the chill from the rain. He had just finished making himself a cup of hot tea in one of his mother's tea cups, a delicate porcelain cup with purple little lilacs painted on it, a perfect beverage for these rainy days in Gotham, when there was a knock at his door. Bruno frowned. He wasn't expecting anyone. Taking his cup of tea with him, he walked over the door, not removing the chain lock as he opened the door. When he looked through the crack between the door, his eyes widened in shock as he gazed into the visage of a white faced, green haired clown. 

“Hello Mr. Heller. I need a favor.” 

Heller knew exactly who he was, he had seen images of him on the TV many times, all over the place...the Joker!! Heller dropped his cup of tea, the porcelain shattering on the floor as he slammed the door in the Joker's face, but in the next instant the door was ripped off its hinges by a large bald man in a pink tutu. The bald man held the door and stepped aside to let The Joker waltz with a tall blonde man in a dark suit holding a bright purple umbrella with yellow balloons on it over the Joker and the pretty woman with him. Joker sauntered through the destroyed doorway, dressed in a dark, three piece purple and black pinstriped suit, a bright yellow shirt and purple tie along with dark purple leather gloves and an ornate purple and bronze cane. The clown's woman had her arms laced through his, a beautiful young woman with long white blonde hair that she had up in pigtails while wearing a black body suit, with a zipper down the front that hugged her figure snugly along with a bright red jacket that hung down to her knees over her bodysuit, along with a pair of thig-high heeled boots. 

After the trio entered, the fourth man, the bald door-destroying man in the tutu, turned around and placed the door back into its frame. Joker smiled at Heller who had backed up until he fell back against his couch and sat down. Joker patted the young woman's hand who had her arm through his, giving her a sour look as he pointed at Heller with the end of his cane. 

“It's really a shame Harley, how people treat guests! “ 

The young woman smiled up at the Joker and Heller could instantly tell that this woman, whoever she was, was in love with the man. “I know puddin. What happened to good old fashioned hospitality?” 

Heller was trying not to tremble, but he had broken out in a cold sweat and he was pretty sure he had wet himself just a little. “What...what do you want?” 

Joker took Harley's hand and kissed the back of it, taking another moment to stroke his gloved fingers along her jaw. Harley giggled softly leaning into his touch just before Joker walked over to stand in front of Heller, both hands on his cane as he leaned forward. “You wrote a book about bootlegging in Gotham?” 

Heller stared and nodded. “Yes, yes I did.” 

Joker flopped down onto the couch next to Heller, crossed his legs and kept one hand on his cane. Heller noticed the expensive shoes that the Joker was wearing, a pair of shiny black leather oxfords with white spats over the top. He frowned, strangely remembering for a moment that his grandfather had worn spats when he would dress up. Joker wrapped his free arm around Heller's shoulders like they were old friends. “Now, it was a really interesting book—I mean I'm a fan of your work! Especially in regards to your maps of the bootleggers tunnels.” 

Heller stared sideways at him. “The tunnels?” 

Joker grinned. This close Heller could see how red Joker's lips were and how almost perfectly white his teeth were as well. The man smelled of cigarettes and vanilla, which Heller found odd and strangely conforting. For some reason, he was sure the man would smell like gunpowder and rot, but reality was often different from imagination. That was the moment the young woman came over and sat on Heller's other side; she smelled much the same as the Joker only with a softer scent. This close he could see she was more than simply pretty, she was downright beautiful. She smiled at him with an equally perfect grin. Heller peripherally saw the big bald man move to the kitchen. He wanted to look around and see what he was doing, but he was terrified of taking his eyes off of Joker. 

The young woman took Heller's hand in hers and patted it. “You are so lucky that my puddin needs your help. Not many people get to help him. You should feel privileged.” 

Heller looked confused between the two of them. “I don't understand?” 

The big man in the tutu came around the couch holding a cup of tea, which he handed to Heller, who looked even more confused. 

Joker patted Heller's chest. “Well, here is my problem Mr. Heller. I want to sneak...” Here Joker used his free hand to walk his fingers in front of Heller. “Onto Arkham Island and into the asylum. I know that the newest asylum was built on the remains of the old asylum, which I intend to use, but I want to get into the asylum using those tunnels you so eloquently wrote about, all so that no one knows I'm there. It would completely ruin the suprise if anyone knew Harley and I were sneaking around. That's where you come in Heller. You can be our guide! Isn't that grand?” 

Joker gave Heller one of his best smiles. 

Heller swallowed and his hand holding the tea shook just a little. “Guide?” 

Joker glanced across to Harley. “I thought I was clear?” 

“You were puddin, perfectly.” Harley turned to look at Heller, frowning slightly as she studied his face. Heller stared back at her, clearly terrified. “I think Mr. Heller is deliberately being dumb...or...” Harley narrowed her eyes, sizing up the aging man. “Are you just scared Mr. Heller, or dumb?” 

Heller's eyes moved, but his head didn't. “Yes.” 

“Terrified of us or of the tunnels?” Harley asked with a sweet smile. 

Heller wasn't sure how to answer so he decided to go with honesty. “Both.” 

Joker's laugh burst out suddenly, making Heller jump. “Oh you are a peach Heller.” 

But then just as quickly his laugh was gone. “But seriously Heller, you are going to be our guide. Won't that be fun?” 

Heller whimpered as Joker and Harley laughed. 

* 

The next few minutes were hellish for the writer. The clowns had stood up and for a moment he thought maybe, just maybe they were going to leave him alone, but instead the tall man in the 'normal' suit pulled a gun on him. Heller's eyes widened as he looked down the black barrel of the pistol then from behind him, the large bald man in the tutu yanked Heller up by his shoulders and simply lifted him up over the back of the couch and set him on his feet. Heller dropped his cup (breaking a second of his mother's tea cups) as the bald man pulled out plastic restraints and swiftly secured Heller's wrists. Heller thought about screaming for help, but no sooner had he started to open his mouth than the big man in the tutu shoved a wad of cloth into his mouth and wrapped duct tape around his head. Heller groaned against the cloth in fear and then the big bald man pulled out a sleeping mask from his pocket. The sleeping mask was soft, purple with lace all around the edges and the had stitching of cartoon-like closed eyes across it. The big man gave him a bright smile and brought the mask down over Heller's eyes. 

Joker stepped closer wrapping an arm around Heller's shoulders. “Now, before we go my friend, do you need to use the bathroom and don't say no because we are not stopping young man. (Here Joker tapped Heller on the chest with the top of his walking stick.) So if you need to use the toilet you better do so now. Bob! Take our friend to the toilet!” 

Bob nodded and simply hoisted Heller up and carried the older man to the apartment's little bathroom. 

* 

Heller was squeezed in the front seat between Frost, who was driving, and Bob who buckled a seatbelt across Heller's chest. Frost smiled, his hands on the wheels of his Lexus 2017 IS. Frost had just received the car the other day, as part of a 'gift' for not killing this little weasel of a man who owed him money. Frost glanced in the rear view mirror. 

“Where to Boss?” 

Joker sat in the back seat, Harley had her arms wrapped around his arm with her chin on his shoulder while Joker flipped through the book, stopping on the map in the center. 

“Mm...It looks like we start at... oh look at this Harls, we get to start at Crime Alley!” He chuckled. “According to Mr. Heller here's map, that is the best place to start, you agree Mr. Heller?” 

From the front seat Heller mumbled and groaned, but he nodded his head in the affirmative. 

Joker chuckled. “Oh good. To Crime Alley my sweetheart!!” 

Frost started the engine and Bob clapped his hands, just his fingertips meeting. 

Joker chuckled, gathering Harley onto his lap and began nibbling on her ear then down her neck. 

“This is going to be fun!!” Harley squealed, his mouth tickling her when his teeth started to take little nibbles along her neck. He stopped long enough to unzip her bodysuit slowly, running his tongue along the bottom of his teeth, his hand slipping between the fabric to squeeze her breast. “Mm...I think we have time for a little fun before we arrive...don't you think Harley?” 

Harley giggled as Joker tugged her bodysuit aside and leaned down, cupping her breast in his gloved hand, stroking his thumb over her nipple which made her moan loudly. 

“Oh puddin...yes.” 

Joker chuckled just before he squeezed her breast again, lifting it up to start nibbling and licking at her nipple with more intensity. 

Harley groaned again. “Oh yes puddin...” 

* 

Frost pressed his lips together reaching up to turn the rearview mirror so that it faced away from the back seat, wondering how many cars he was going to have to go through...probably a great many as the sounds of Miss Quinn groaning accompanied by the metal sound of a zipper being pulled lower filled the back seat. Bob glanced over at Frost and with a big grin he pulled out an iPod and earbuds and stuck them in his ears just as the groans and moans from the back started to increase in volume. Frost narrowed his eyes thinking, damn it...Bob. Frost sighed...that was a good idea.


	30. Whispers

The streetlights provided little illumination as the Lexus pulled up under one of them, parking close to the sidewalk near the corner of some old brick building. The street light had an ancient green metal sign attached to it with the street name in embossed metal, but someone had spray painted the words “Crime Alley” over the sign in bright red paint. 

Crime Alley actually referred to the street that ran between the two buildings, a dark, dank alley filled with trash, rats and death, but when anyone said “Crime Alley,” they were usually referring to the entire neighborhood, one of Gotham’s forgotten places where the bright city lights didn’t shine. Here, Gotham’s underbelly thrived, all the things that people didn’t want to see about Gotham lived here in Crime Alley. 

Frost turned the car off and slowly, he stepped out of the car. He looked around cautiously with narrowed eyes. There were a few “ladies” of the night on a corner and he was fairly sure he saw a man lurking in the shadows a little ways off, probably dealing drugs, Frost thought, no one for him to worry about overly much about. Even as Frost thought that, he still placed a hand on his weapon--he saw no reason to be careless and unprepared. 

Frost made his way over to the back and opened the door. He took a step to the side as he opened the door. 

When the door opened, the sounds of laughter mixed with giggles tumbled out into the quiet Gotham night. Joker giggled while he tried to button his shirt at the same time he hauled Harley out of the car with him. She was giggling as well, the zipper of her outfit still indecently low, showing off her cleavage and stomach, the zipper resting at her belly button. Frost’s eyes widened in shock, which caused the man to quickly turn around and put his back to his Boss and Miss Quinn. 

Joker stopped trying to button up his shirt and tuck it into his slacks at the same time, in favor of yanking Harley against him. 

“Mm...I don’t know...going after Strange seems so unimportant when your cleavage is involved.” Joker chuckled as he held Harley against him. She pushed on his chest in an attempt to free herself from the cage of his embrace so she could zip herself up. 

She giggled. “Stop!!” 

Joker laughed and simply pulled her closer in order to lick her throat; his long fingers slid between the zipper teeth to caress her skin. He had removed his gloves, which were now stuck in one of his slacks front pockets so he could touch her bare skin with his fingertips. 

“Mm...when we are finished with tonight's adventures Daddy wants to do a little more exploration.” Joker’s giggle was soft, seductive against her ear. 

Harley blushed as she reached up and grabbed the sides of his face to pull him in for a passionate kiss. Joker made a little sound, half laugh, half moan as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close against his body. He took several stumbling steps backwards until his back finally found a wall to support the two of them. Harley made a growl of pleasure as she pressed herself against him. 

The two of them nibbled and kissed at each other until Frost was fairly sure they might have to wait a few minutes while the two of them had sex against the wall...he shook his head with a sigh before he noticed that Bob was having a little bit of trouble with tugging Heller from the car. Frost went over to help Bob with removing Mr. Heller from the car. The man was bound up tightly,his arms up and pressed against his chest, though his legs were free. Bob had shimmied out the door of the car while he took hold of Heller’s shoulders in an attempt to pull the man from the car. Frost hurried over to his side of the car. He crawled in which nearly earned him a shoe to the eye. Heller had started to kick, struggling with Bob even more while he made muffled noises of protest. 

Frost cursed. “Damn it!” 

As he grabbed one of the older man’s legs, Heller nearly kicked him in the face again. The old man showed that he was spry as he continued to struggle. 

Frost glanced up to see Bob frowning as he struggled to keep a hold of the old man. 

Frost held tight to one of the man’s ankles and snarled. “Mr. Heller, if you don’t stop struggling I’m going to have to shoot you in the knee cap!! Now the Boss won’t care, but he will be very, very irritated. Getting shot won’t save you from going into the sewers either, the Boss will just make me or Bob carry you, which will piss both of us off and the Boss. Then you will be in the sewers, bleeding, with an open wound with no hope of getting out. If you stop kicking and cooperate, then you might be able to walk out of this alive. I can’t guarantee anything, but you will stand a better chance if you behave!” 

Heller looked down at Frost, then up at Bob who smiled at him and nodded his head vigorously. Heller seemed to think about Frost’s offer and stopped struggling. Frost sighed with relief. It was nice when someone actually listened to reason. 

* 

Joker grabbed Harley around her waist and turned to shove her up against the wall. He kissed her hard, his fingers pressed into her waist while his tongue twisted and caressed hers. He had just had her on the way here, but damn she drove him crazy he thought with a grin...crazy...hehe! He chuckled at the thought. 

Harley yanked his shirt up; her hands slid along his hips, her fingers spread to touch as much of his pale skin as she could. The ache in her groin returned as he pressed up against her. She could feel he was hard again. She grinned, god she loved when they worked on a job, it always made her puddin even more amorous then usual, the excitement of the job, that heady thrill of possible violence. She loved that about him, one of the things that had attracted her so much in Arkham was his violent nature...the seduction of him, that underlying madness…the unpredictability of his actions. 

Harley groaned as Joker grabbed her breasts, squeezing them and shoving them up while he pressed her even harder against the wall. 

They both heard the wolf whistles and catcalls that came from across the street as the prostitutes yelled at them, but Joker didn’t seem to care, his full attention on Harley. He brushed his nose against hers, caught her bottom lip with his teeth and tugged just slightly painfully only to let her lip go with a wide grin. 

“My delicious little pumpkin pie.” He hissed as he gave her breasts another squeeze. “So soft and delicious…” He chuckled with a little growl in his tone. “My doctor.” 

Harley smiled and blushed as her hands slid down the back of his trousers to squeeze his rear. Joker pressed up against her when they both heard the sound of Frost clearly his throat. 

“Ah...sorry Boss, but we’re ready.” 

Joker sighed. He frowned as he laid his forehead against Harley’s. “Well my sweetling, I guess it is time for work, but…” He took a step back and found her zipper. He took his time to pull the tab up, slow and tantalizing. His eyes followed the way the metal came together, closing Harley’s outfit up, concealing the soft, pink skin underneath. Joker smiled as he pressed his teeth into his bottom lip, trying to contain his need for her. He finally brought the zipper up and stopped with her cleavage exposed. He let go of the zipper and reached up to slide his fingertips along the exposed skin, his middle finger pressed just slightly between her breasts. 

“Mm...when this is over we are going to take a nice, long, hot bath my dear,” Joker purred before he smiled and stepped back to finish buttoning up his shirt and making himself more presentable. Harley pressed her lips together, licked them. The want she felt made her ache, but she smiled and nodded. “I’m looking forward to it puddin.” 

Joker grinned and caressed her chin before he turned to face Bob, Frost and their guest, Heller. 

“Well now! Shall we get ready for our little hike? I’ve bought everything we need...well, at least I hope I have. Frost--the trunk!” 

Frost hurried over to the car and quickly popped open the trunk. The trunk was stuffed with several pairs of galoshes, some heavy duty flashlights and hard hats, one purple, one red, while the other four were yellow. 

Joker grinned brightly and reached to grab one of the yellow hard hats. He plopped it down on Heller’s head. “See? I even came prepared!” 

* 

The five of them stood around the circular metal entrance to the sewer. Joker frowned, his nose wrinkled, a large handled flashlight in his hand while his other arm was around Harley. He was wearing a pair of purple galoshes with a purple hard hat that matched his galoshes except the hard hat read “Joker” in green paint mixed with glitter across it. Harley stood next to him, one arm around his middle, her other hand held her own flashlight. Harley’s galoshes and hat were red with little daisy stickers decorating her hard hat. Frost and Heller both wore the typical black galoshes and yellow hard hats while Bob wore pink--pink hat, pink galoshes. (His hat was also decorated with daisy stickers but with the added element of glitter. He and Harley had spent an entertaining half hour with the stickers while Harley had carefully written “Joker” with paint and glitter on Joker’s hat and Bob’s pink one. Joker had been delighted with the additions, telling his little band “You really should always look your best no matter where you go...never know who you might meet. And besides, you take your attitude with you wherever you go, even into the shitter.”) 

Joker took a deep breath through his nose. “Ah, the true Gotham awaits us.” 

Harley muttered, “I really wish it wasn’t the sewer though.” 

Joker pressed her close against his side. “You know sweets, some of the most fun I’ve had has been in a sewer.” 

Harley narrowed her eyes at him in doubt. “Really?” 

Joker smiled at her for a good few seconds before his grin faltered. “Okay no...the most fun I’ve had has been with you.” He gave her an over the top eyebrow waggle that had her giggling. Joker smiled then waved his hand. “Bob, if you wouldn’t mind?” 

Bob grinned and stuck his fingers into the holes on either side of the large, metal manhole. The big man took a breath and easily lifted the cover to set it to the side. Joker shown his light down into the darkness below. 

Harley could see that there was a rusted looking metal ladder that led down into the inky blackness. The smell was even worse with the lid removed. She frowned as she stepped closer to the edge. She could hear the sound of running water down below. 

Frost stepped forward. “I’ll go down first Boss, then Heller, then you and Miss Harley. Bob will bring up the rear.” 

Joker nodded. “Well, let’s get going my dears.” 

Frost nodded. He walked over to the ladder, turned to face the alley after he hooked his flashlight to his belt. He gave a quick, slightly worried look around before he slowly began the descent into the darkness. They all heard him hit the water, the splash was followed by a sudden increase in smell as Frost’s presence disturbed the water and thus the sewage below. 

Joker frowned as he watched Frost’s bobbing flashlight illuminate very little but greenish brown water. He glanced over to Heller who looked pale as Bob worked to untie him and proceeded to remove the gag. Joker could see the man was about to take a breath and yell. Joker pulled his gun and aimed it at the older man, the barrel focused on the old man’s shoulder. 

“Now Mr. Heller, please don’t make me shoot you. I’m fairly confident an open wound in the sewer is just a recipe for disaster, don’t you think?” Joker grinned. 

Heller’s eyes widened, swallowing down hard on the scream he was about to let loose, but he nodded just as Bob removed the gag. 

Joker smiled pleasantly and used the barrel of his gun to motion at Heller. “Go on my dear.” 

Heller positioned himself on the ladder and with only a moment's hesitation, began to descend. 

They both watched the man disappear. Joker frowned as he let go of Harley. 

“Your turn my sweets.” 

Harley nodded. She slid her hand through the handle on her flashlight and walked over to the hole. She made a face. 

“It smells really bad puddin.” She shook her head. Joker stepped closer, hooked his flashlight to his belt before he reached out and cupped her face between his hands. He tugged her close and covered her mouth in a deep, lingering kiss. Harley made a soft whimper of pleasure as she reached out and grabbed his sides, balling up the cloth that she grabbed, returning his kiss passionately. 

Joker pulled away from her mouth, though he laid his forehead against hers and whispered. “We’ll take a nice long bubble bath after this my sweets, then lay in bed together fucking like a couple of family minded rabbits, then we'll snuggle in bed for the next few days.” 

Harley stared back at him. “Promise puddin?” 

Joker smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. “I promise Harley.” 

She nodded. She pressed a quick kiss to his lips before she stepped down and began to descend into darkness. 

Joker smiled. He turned to Bob. “She really is a keeper isn’t she Bob?” 

Bob nodded happily and clasped his hands lightly together. Joker laughed. “You are so right, Bob. If I wasn’t crazy, I might just marry that girl. Okay, down into the sewers!” 

Joker laughed and turned to follow Harley down. 

* 

The Gotham sewers were a labyrinth of complicated brick tunnels. The first Gotham sewer system had been built in the Victorian period, which could still be seen in the brickwork, though there were places along the walls that showed where modern Gotham had begun to push out the old.. .The large archways were reminiscent of vaulted churches with tall, wide arches that were tall enough to drive large pieces of equipment through them. The constant sound of water ran through the tunnels and made a strange echo that traveled anywhere and everywhere. 

The tunnel brick walls were covered in slime and other “things” that made the wall glimmer in the flashlight beams. There were deep shadows everywhere accompanied by small sounds of claws against wet stone, the whisper of voices from deep within and the sound of wind...softly, slowly howling through the ancient tunnels. 

Joker looked around before addressing Heller. “So, is this the right place?” 

Heller turned. (It was clear that now that he was down among the brick and mortar he had written about, his fear had started to fade. He pointed at the stone that was illuminated by the beam of Bob’s flashlight. “Yes, this is one of the original tunnels still in use. If we go down that way…” Heller pointed to the left. “That should take us to a series of three tunnels, one of which will lead deeper into the Victorian era tunnels. The others would take us into the more modern sections.” 

Joker nodded. “I’m trusting you not to lead us astray, Bruno my dear.” 

Frost nodded and their small group set off toward the left. 

* 

As their group walked, Harley could see small holes in the stone wall where water was flowing out and blending with the water that they were currently walking through. 

She wrinkled her nose. 

“Where is that water coming from?” She pointed at one of the small openings. 

Heller, who walked beside Frost, glanced over his shoulder. “Those come straight from toilets, raw sewage.” 

Harley yelped and moved as far away from the walls as she could as she groaned. “Oh my GOD, the smell!!!” 

Joker wrinkled his nose. “It smells like Bane when you get up close. The man really should bathe more...or maybe he just needs a new soap?” 

Harley made a face. “Eew!!” 

Joker chuckled. 

Their small group walked steadily for over an hour. The smell had died down a bit as they came to what appeared to be the end of the tunnel. Here was a blank, slimy brick wall. 

Joker frowned. “Now Heller, don’t tell me…” 

Heller shook his head. “No no...there is a connecting tunnel…” 

The man motioned for Bob and Frost to follow him. “Shine your flashlights along the wall, there should be an opening tunnel. One big enough for us to crawl through…” 

Harley stood close to Joker while the other three looked for the tunnel. Harley frowned noticeably. She kept hearing sounds...voices mixed with chittering. “Puddin...I really don’t like this...do you hear that?” 

Joker wrapped his arms around her and pressed her close to him. “Hear what sweets?” 

Harley frowned, her nose pressed to Joker’s chest which helped keep some of the smell at bay “The voices,” she murmured. “They sound like they are everywhere…” 

Joker chuckled. “Well my sweet, I hear voices all the time. It's called insanity.” 

Harley shook her head. “No, no...voices in the tunnels.” 

Joker held her tighter. “I never encountered anything down here sweets but a few giant crocodiles, some rats and the forgotten piece of Gotham humanity.” 

Harley frowned. “I hear something puddin.” 

Joker frowned slightly and kissed the top of her head. “I believe you sweets.” 

She looked up at him just as Heller yelled. “Found it!” His voice echoed off the damp walls. 

Joker took Harley’s hand with a smile. “Don’t worry pumpkin, I’ll protect you.” 

Harley smiled at him. “Really?” 

Joker squeezed her hand. “Of course, pumpkin. You’re my girl.” 

He tugged her along as they hurried over to where the others were waiting at the entrance of a tunnel. The odd thing about the tunnel and the reason they didn’t see it right away was that it looked as if a black cloth had been draped over the entrance. The tunnel was high enough up that they were going to have to hop up and crawl through it. Heller had pulled the cloth away and stared into the tunnel while Frost stood beside him as he looked over the map. 

Heller muttered as he studied the tunnel. “We should crawl through this for about half a mile and then it should open onto another set of tunnels. From there we should make another left which will take us into the beginning of the unused tunnels that lead toward Arkham.” 

Joker glanced at Frost who nodded confirmation of Heller's words. 

Joker then frowned as he looked into the tunnel. This tunnel was mostly free of water, though everything in this place was damp and there was a thick green slime coating some of the tunnel walls. It was big enough that they could fit, crawling on the hands and knees, with maybe enough space for them to move side by side, but it would be tight, and there would be no standing up, the ceiling was far too low. Half a mile, crawling on hands and knees on stone in this setting was going to be a thoroughly unpleasant experience. 

Harley was beside Joker as she gazed down the tunnel nervously. She wasn’t claustrophobic (at least she didn’t think she was), but the small space made her uncomfortable. The darkness, the sense of confined space…bricks over them, darkness all around them, and the unexplained noises… 

Their lights only reached a short distance which made the feeling of the walls closing in more acute. 

“I wonder if the unused parts will smell better,” Harley muttered hopefully trying to focus her attention on something other than how small the space was... 

Joker grinned. “Guess we’ll be finding out.” 

He turned. “Okay, who wants to go first?” 

Frost folded up his map. “I’ll go first Boss.” 

Joker grinned while he patted Frost on the shoulder. “You’re a good man Frost.” 

Frost smiled, stepping past them and pulled himself up onto his hands and knees inside the tunnel. He crawled a few feet before stopping to wait on the others. 

Joker motioned at Heller. “Up you go. Bob you want to help our friend here?” 

Bob nodded. Before Heller could protest, Bob had lifted the man up, practically shoving him into the tunnel. Heller’s astonished and upset cries echoed down the tunnel walls. 

Joker grinned. “Mm...now here we have a problem: do I want to look at Heller’s ass or yours Harley?” He tapped his chin with his fingers. 

Harley gave him a light smack. “Don’t you dare compare my derriere to that old man’s.” 

Joker laughed. “OOh, so fiesty! Up you go Harls!” 

Joker helped her into the tunnel. Harley crawled just a little ways, turning around to mutter. “I got the worst end of this deal.” 

Joker laughed and crawled in after her, though he sighed. “This is going to ruin my suit, but at least the view is great!” 

He turned to look behind him as Bob crawled up into the tunnel. 

“Got a good view Bob?” Joker asked with a grin. 

Bob just smiled, his flashlight’s light beam bounced over the tunnel wall. 

* 

Their small group crawled through the tunnel, the only sounds were their breathing and the shifting of their clothing and hands against the stone. Their lights wobbled and moved all over the tunnel walls creating a sort of strange kaleidoscope effect. Harley found the whole thing nauseating, the way the lights shifted, only showing parts of the tunnel, completely missing deep shadows where the light didn’t penetrate and the moving figures of their group created a stuffy, hot atmosphere that was closing in on her. She had to stop at one point; she couldn’t seem to move. She was having trouble breathing, as if she couldn’t get enough air into her lungs. Her heart felt as if it was pounding inside her chest in a painful thud trying to escape. She could feel it all through her body, the hard thump, thump of her heart...and the walls felt as if they were actually becoming smaller, closing in, becoming tighter, the darkness was filling every available space, the air was being sucked away...the ceiling was coming down, pressing down on her head… 

* 

Joker frowned. He sensed something was wrong with Harley before she stopped moving. He could hear the change in Harley’s breath, the ragged and stuttering way she was crawling, the little hisses of fear… 

She was starting to panic. His girl was afraid and that was making him...he wasn’t sure what her fear was doing to him, but he didn’t like it. He didn’t like her being scared...she needed him and he needed to protect her, just like he promised. 

He called out. “Frost, stop.” 

Frost came to an abrupt halt, which caused Heller to run into the big man with an “Oof” sound. 

Joker moved forward. It was difficult in the tight space as he maneuvered himself around to Harley who had stopped to lean against the tunnel wall. Her breathing was a series of short rapid breaths, becoming faster and faster. She was going to hyperventilate, Joker realized. 

“Harley, baby…”Joker started, but Harley had squeezed her eyes shut pressing herself against the wall. Her voice was tiny, lost. “I can’t...I can’t do this…” 

Joker frowned. He squeezed in beside her moving his flashlight to show him her face without blinding her, but Harley wasn’t looking. Her eyes were closed tight and tears were falling as she started to cry. 

“I can’t do this..I can’t do this…” She started to shake. 

Joker reached over and wrapped his arm around her, pulled her up against him. It was a tight fit, but as he maneuvered around he pressed her head against his chest. He held her there until he felt her relax just a little. Joker laid down on his side in the tunnel, while at the same time he pulled Harley against him. She wrapped her arms tight around him burying her head against his chest needing to hear the steady beat of his heart. 

“Puddin I can’t do this,” she whispered. 

Joker smiled and whispered softly stroking his dirty fingers through her hair. “Shh...you can sweets. You’re my girl remember?” 

Harley pressed her body closer to his when Frost turned and hissed. “Boss, I just saw movement up ahead!” 

Harley made a small squeak of distress. Joker frowned glaring at Frost though the big man really couldn’t see it in the dim light. 

He opened his mouth to tell Frost to stop scaring Harley when everyone’s breathing seemed to stop when they all heard a very clear sound...a sound like the deep rumbling growl of a very large animal.


End file.
